Settling the score

I just finished watching the Direct TV Season 4 finale of "Friday Night Lights". For the love of all things holy, if you don't watch this show when it premieres on NBC in April, you will be missing THE best show on television. I cheered, I cried, I laughed. There is no other show that makes me verklempt at the thought of it being cancelled. It also makes me angry that NBC didn't give "FNL" the proper chance to find its footing on the network. If you are a true TV Watch Party follower, you will watch "Friday Night Lights" in April. *Forcing you into an uncomfortable hug*

Here's what happened Thursday night on ...

"Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains" (CBS, 8:00): First, I must apologize to my coworkers who were subjected to my squeals, laughter and grunts while I watched the show online (off the clock, of course). Secondly, how freakin' excited is TV Watch Party to have a show that makes me giddy like a fat kid with cake? The Watch Party knows that "Survivor" is my all-time favorite reality show and I didn't realize how much I missed it until I heard Jeff Probst summing up the past 19 seasons.

There's been a lot of viewer comments floating around about the return of previous players. Pause it: I don't mind another All-Star season, although some of the player choices are a little suspect. Danielle who? Candace, really? Where is Yao-Man? What about Ozzy? Or even "Dreamz" for that matter? Sandra Diaz-Twine, a villain, says she's going to be meaner this time around. I barely even remember her speaking during her stint on Pearl Islands.

The show wastes no time putting the castaways to the test in a very physical reward challenge. Probst says they're playing for fire, but we all know they're playing for bragging rights. The game is a brutal version of football, except they don't have any protective gear. Heroes Rupert and Stephenie both suffer injuries (him, a toe broken in three places and her a dislocated then relocated shoulder). Cirie was tossing the girls around left and right, while Sandra stripped Sugar of her bikini top. Too bad it didn't stop her from scoring a point for the Heroes. James completely bulldozed his competition and the Heroes win the first challenge.

Back at camp, the Heroes are sitting high on the hog when they manage to snag four chickens. Props to them for being smart enough to build a coop instead of eating them all on the first day. J.T and James form an instant alliance and Sandra and Boston Rob hit it off nicely over on the Villain's beach. Jerri and Coach are making a love connection. Throw in the "Dragon Slayer's" unrequited bromance with Rob and you've got yourself a "Survivor" love triangle. There is so much wheelin', dealin' and lovin' going on, it's hard to keep track.

At the immunity challenge, an exhausting land/water/puzzle contraption, the Heroes get off to an early lead, but blow it when they can't solve the four-layer puzzle. This time it's the Villains who prevail, coming from behind for the win. Rewind: Are all the challenges going to be "take-twos" from previous seasons?

As the Heroes prepare for Tribal Council, former castmates start pairing up, leaving Sugar on the outside looking in. Cirie, Stephenie and Amanda's names are thrown into the mix and it becomes strategy vs. strength when the tribe can't decide who's the bigger threat. Do they get rid of a strong mental player or the weakest physical tribe member? Sugar, who couldn't even figure out how to work the Tribal Council ink pen, is the first person voted out in a 9-1 vote.

Do you think the tribe made the right move or will the mental juggernauts manage to control the game? It's going to be one hell of a season!

Funny lines from the castaways

• "I'm a villain. I think villains are smarter than heroes because they don't mind stabbing someone in the back to get where they wanna get. It's a proven fact ... Google it." - Russell, Villain
• "I'm a gangster in a Oprah suit." - Cirie, Hero
• Hero Amanda explains her jitters: "You know, like before you bungee jump ..." Uh, no sweetie. Let me just stop you right there. I will never know that feeling because the only time I will ever be in a "right-before-you-bungee-jump" position is the day Jack Bauer pushes me off the top floor of a parking garage.

The tribe has spoken: There are a few things I need to get off my chest. Stephenie's eyebrows scare me. They always have. It's like they start on the bridge of her nose then make a run for her hairline. She and Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas must have the same brow waxer ... How nice to see people show up in clothes they can actually play in ... I'm still in love with James. If I ever see that gravedigger on the street ... WHEW! I can't be held responsible for what happens to him. I'm just sayin'.

CHANNEL SURFING

• On "Project Runway" (Lifetime, 10:00), the designers must create a look for Heidi Klum to wear on the April cover of Marie Claire magazine. Pause it: I don't buy fashion magazines. I wait until an airline contacts me about unused frequent flyer miles then I cash them in for the free subscriptions. Flamboyant Anthony reels in his tacky and produces a beautiful, structured cocktail dress for the win. Anna is auf'ed after she designs an outfit that I've seen a hundred times in the Jr. Miss department of Nordstrom. Of course the best line of the night goes to Anthony: "Life isn't fair so why in the hell should "Project Runway" be?"
• I really need the set director/writer people to get it right on "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC, 9:00). IT DOES NOT THUNDER IN SEATTLE!!!
• I finally got caught up on "High School Reunion" (TV Land, Wed., 9:00). It's great that all the couples are finding love or whatnot, but to guilt ladies man Antanus into proposing to his girlfriend of four years was a little over the top. You can't make someone be ready for marriage. But what do I know? He proposed. Feel free to leave that player's card on the table, Antanus.

Big love

I'm so mad at myself for not doing my research. You can watch full episode of "High School Reunion" (TV Land, Wed., 7:00) online the next day. URGH!!! I can't believe I missed that! Now that I'm caught up, let's discuss Wednesday's show.

It's late-bloomer Rachelle's time to shine when she's selected to get a hall pass. She immediately sets her sights on Joe, the class hunk, and hopes that their time alone will lead to a love connection. Pause it: How many times is she going to tell us that she just got out of a long relationship with a controlling spouse? Jodi, Joe's high school sweetheart, was seething with white hot hate at him for once again making her look stupid while he runs off with Rachelle. Apparently Joe was quite the ladies man in high school and did a lot of running around behind Jodi's back. Still, Jodi came to rekindle the flame. Joe, not so much. He proclaims they are better off as friends then spends the day making out with Rachelle in a lagoon. Jodi later bonds with class nerd Cyndi, telling her that being popular wasn't as glamorous as one would believe. Pause it: Try telling that to the kid who got beat up after school today ... but I know what she means.

I don't know why Jodi wants to hook back up with Joe, especially now that we see how he treated her in high school. I thought I'd be with my high school sweetie forever, too, but after one semester of college I saw how many fish were out there and believe me, there were a plenty!

Meanwhile, troublemaker/borderline racist Joe also snags a hall pass and asks Summer Girl Elena to accompany him to the beach. Elena takes the date and promises to use the time telling Joe that his antics are no longer funny. She tells him he has diarrhea of the mouth and that he's constantly saying ignorant things. His response: "Go f%#& yourself". John says he doesn't want to change and Elena proclaims wants nothing more to do with him. I'd already written him off as a lost cause in the first episode after he refused to apologize to Eric for his homophobic comments.

Do you remember your first high school boyfriend? I'm not talking about first loves, but the first guy you seriously dated. Do you know where they ended up? Would you date them again if given the chance? Me? Not just no, but HELL NO!

Who's who

The week of premieres continues with the return of some old favorites. The shows were so good that I found myself excited to host the Watch Party. It was a good night for TV! Let's talk about ...

"Project Runway" (Lifetime, 10:00): It's an all new season of "Runway," and an eclectic batch of designers are here to show us if they're worth their weight in sewing thread. Last year's fiasco of moving the show to L.A. left us without our favorite judges for most of the season, but Nina Garcia and Michael Kors are back as the show returns to New York City.

We have two area designers representing the Northwest: Seth Aaron, 38, of Vancouver, WA, and 28-year-old Janeane Marie from Portland, home of Season 5 winner Leanne Marshall. Pause it: FYI, I'm not gonna be calling this guy by 2 names all season. I'll give him another week before I find him a fitting nickname.

Looking at the designers' portfolios during introductions, there are quite a few interesting stitchers in the bunch. Double-duty Ping has a day job that allows her to "liberate the body movement": she a physical therapist. You can fully expect her to be the weird one. Maya's designs looked very fashion-forward and unique. There's Emilio, a costume designer from the Dominican Republic. And who can forget Anthony, the southern gay man with the biting sense of humor.

For the first challenge, Tim Gunn tasks the designers with creating a look that represents their point of view. They are given three minutes to grab fabric that has been spread through Central Park then another five minutes to edit down their choices to just five fabrics. "Tim says 'go' and we are like fat people at an open buffet in Vegas," Emilio says. They get one day to finish their creations and the winner gets immunity.

Janeane Marie is off to a rocky start when her little black dress becomes a little hot mess. She starts over with only two hours left in the day. Pause it: This chick is waaaay too emotional. It's only the first episode girl! I'm not gonna watch you cry your way through the season! Ping's outfit looked like she tossed a pile of fabric in the air and her model just stood underneath. Slap on some rope and you would've had yourself a parachute. I don't know what they wear over in Vancouver, but Seth Aaron's model looked like she was ready for a couture hoedown in the plaid frock he came up with. I loved Maya's ruffled-collar dress and Emilio's creative pattern, but Amy's dress looked exactly like a design from Leanne's final runway show with the fitted top and the bubble, wavy-flapped skirt.

I couldn't believe the judges loved Seth Aaron's dress, but fortunately it was Emilio's "deceptively simple" design and technical execution that earned him the first win. Anthony, over-confident Christiane and "Hershey chocolate bar" designing Jesus sweated it out in the bottom three. Heidi tells Jesus he's in, making Chrisitane Season 7's first casualty. She boasted alot about being a designer who uses a lot of color, and it would've been cool to see her make good on that promise. But her cocky attitude was a turn-off. Auf wiedersehen, Braggy McBraggerton!

Finishing touches: Anthony already established himself as the comic relief for this season. He gave us some of the funniest material since Santino Rice's impression of Tim Gunn in Season 2. Here are some of Anthony's funniest lines:

• "My ultimate goal is to be one of the gown designers for Miss U.S.A. and Miss Universe. *whispering* I don't really care for Miss America."
• The guys were discussing who would get the broken bed which Jay volunteers to take because he's the smallest guy in the bunch. This leads to all the men announcing how much they weigh. "I'm 180" ... "I'm 145" ... "I'm 152"... "And I'm thirsty," says the husky Anthony.
• "I'm sweating like a baptist preacher!"

But what's funny to me may not be as entertaining to Mrs. Klum. When Anthony found out he was safe and made a dramatic deal about it, she rushed him off the stage with agitation in her voice.

It looks like the show is ready to bounce back from last season's snoozefest, and I'm excited to see these contestants rip the runway.

"High School Reunion" (TV Land, Wed., 10:00): That's me in the picture at age 16. In high school, I was captain of the cheerleading squad, student council president and on the homecoming court. I did yearbook and made that stupid "Who's Who" list countless times. I was also picked on relentlessly and had some of my most traumatic experiences in the halls of E.H.S. I'm not playing the victim (I do that in therapy), but I can totally relate to some of the students on "High School Reunion". This reality show reunites former classmates 20 years after graduation so they can relive their glory days and for some, patch up old wounds. This season follows Chapparal High School's Class of '89 from Las Vegas.

All the cliches are here: the troublemaker, the nerd, the late-bloomer and the football star. There's also the ladies man, the cheerleaders, the gay guy and the hot girls. When the classmates were arriving one-by-one, it was funny to watch their expressions as they quickly assessed who it was and how they remembered each other. But poor Cyndi, the class nerd, was unrecognizable. To make matters worse, they still didn't remember her even after she told them who she was. Talk about being invisible. But she won't be for long after she reveals she became an exotic dancer. *Handing Cyndi award for "Most Likely to be Remembered"*

Lissett and Elena called themselves "The Summer Girls" in high school. In their eyes they were the hottest, most popular girls in Chapparal High, but their peers thought otherwise. "They were the biggest bitches in school," says John the troublemaker. Lissett says she's back to prove she is more than just a pretty face. Pause it: Yes, sweetie, that's true. It's not pretty, it's plastic now. Here's your award for "Best Body On a Payment Plan". Football star Joe wants to rekindle the flame with high school sweetheart Jodi, but late-bloomer Rachelle hopes she can score a touchdown this time around. (Vomiting in mouth over Joe hearts Jodi. I'm sure they wore matching shirts, too.) And if I were ladies man Antanus's girlfriend before the show, I certainly wouldn't be after watching this episode. Dude, if you've been dating someone for three years, you're not single. You're damn near common-law spouses!

I didn't go to my 10-year reunion and I only keep in touch with a handful of my classmates (shout out to Jennifer and Piper!). You'll have to come to the Watch Party to follow these clowns!

The show airs on Wednesday nights but I caught this one on repeat.