Going rogue

Sorry for the late posting. When I said "later today', I wasn't anticipating it would be this late. The old laptop decided to take a mini vacation. He reappeared this morning, looking sad and sorry. I figured I'd give him one last chance to pull it together. But enough about my love life. Here's what happened last night on ...

"The Amazing Race" (CBS, Sun., 8:00): One Watch Party viewer is still upset over the elimination of the high school sweethearts. I had no attachment to them, but I developing a small crush on Team 8 Seconds (cowboys Jet and Cord). They proved they are no country bumpkins and could be a team to contend with. The racers leave Santiago, Chile, and hop on a 500-mile bus ride to Puerto Varas. Pause it: I could barely do a 10-mile bus ride from Sea-Tac airport, let alone 500. TAXI!!

All teams are even once they get to the bus station and the Sexy Lezzies decide to form an alliance with Team Asian Persuasion, married couple Joe and Heidi. Only two teams can make it onto the first bus, so when Asian Persuasion holds a spot in the ticket line for the Lezzies, the gloves come off. Pause it: There's no line holding in The Amazing Race! While AP and the Lezzie bask in the afterglow of getting the last seats on the bus, Jeff from Team Showmance and Team 8 Seconds both come up with the bright idea of taking a bus with a connection in another city. The move would put them in Puerto Varas 8 hours ahead of the others. Team Iraq and Such As follows suit and they all head to the other bus station. Take that Lezzies!

After the rogue teams arrive at the other bus station, 8 Seconds jumps ahead of the pack when they realize their bus leaves from a different terminal. By the time the others find out they are in the wrong terminal, it's too late and they miss the bus. Rewind: The whole thing was like watching an episode of "Scooby Doo," with them running back and forth between bus terminals. All that was missing was the Mystery Van and the creepy cartoon music. I think I'm going to change Iraq and Such As to Team Fred and Velma.

At the Detour, teams had to choose between llama adoration or condor consternation, i.e., dress a llama or fly like a bird. Already ahead with a big lead, Team 8 Seconds turned out to be quite the llama whisperers. I guess that should be no surprise since they are cowboys. Showmance, along with Fred and Velma and Team Granny Shannies (grandmother/granddaughter Jody and Shannon), all tried the flying condor route. Pause it: I don't know why these people really thought they would take flight. They all sank like rocks in that freezing water.

The Roadblock was a fairly easy challenge, if you are an octopus wearing a helmet. One team member had to race around a farm collecting ingredients to make a german dessert - flour, butter, a baker's dozen of eggs, a bowl of sugar and the kicker: milk straight from a cow. Pause it: And I mean it was a literal kicker as multiple racers took blows about the ears, nose and throat from these feisty cows. Poor Granny took a hard kick to the head, even though she was practically making love to Daisy, stoking the utters while whispering sweet nothings. All that was missing was the bow chicka wow wow porn music. Leave the money on the nightstand, Grandma!

I thought more teams would've been tripped up on the whole 'baker's dozen' thing - I only learned it was 13 last year - but 8 Seconds held on to their lead, coming in first and winning a sailboat. Alligned teams Asian Persuasion and Sexy Lezzies came in second and third, respectively. But it was Granny Shannies dragging up the rear and were eliminated from the race.