Sour grapes

I was convicted this week after a coworker (and TV Watch Party attendee) told me that they miss my "Amazing Race" updates because that was their way to keep up with the show. I've taken notes on every episode, but for some reason, I haven't felt compelled to write about it ... until now. It's finale night!

"The Amazing Race" (CBS, 8:00): After last week's elimination of the detectives, I told my Watch Party cohort Mary that I would be OK with Don't Ask, Won't Tell (Dan and Jordan) winning the race if 8 Seconds (cowboys Jet and Cord) didn't come in first. Cut to me a week later completely pissed that the cowboys didn't win. Pause it: I could've dragged out the suspense until the end by giving you a play-by-play of what went down, but at this point it doesn't even matter. The real story is whether or not Dan and Jordan cheated their way into first and if the Sexy Lezzies' finish-line tirade ruined the show. *Checking 'yes' box on the survey*

At the start of the leg, the teams are told to hop a 6,000 mile flight to San Francisco. The teams are all even because the ticket counter doesn't open until 10:45 the next morning. Rewind: That really sucked because Don't Ask, Won't Tell were about 4 hours behind the cowboys. Now this is where it gets dicey: While Jet and Cord slept in line at the ticket counter, Dan and Jordan cut in front of them. The normally calm cowboys were rightly ticked off. "If they wanna drop the gloves, they can drop the gloves," Jet says. Once on the plane, Dan talks a flight attendant into letting them move to empty seats in first class.

There is a lot of buzz about whether moving to first class is cheating, but the rules of the race say you must BUY tickets in coach, but if you are moved or given seats in first or business class, that's OK. As for the cutting in line, that was just effed up. It's one thing to jockey for first place by trying to get tickets on a tight flight, but what Dan and Jordan did was just poor sportsmanship. Yes, they are competing for a million dollars, but what's great about "The Amazing Race" is that teams (for the most part) keep it clean (sort of). Maybe I'm just salty because the cowboys were so nice to the other teams. Good Karma should've been their cab driver on this leg.

For a last leg, the challenges weren't that hard: a 120-foot vertical climb, navigating a virtual world and solving a memory puzzle about eliminations. The virtual world was the most entertaining, only because of the way Cord was yelling out fake instructions while Dan was giving Jordan directions. "Do a back flip!" "Sashay!" "Ballet move!" I had to watch it twice because we were laughing so hard.

Where are Fred and Velma, you ask? They got stuck with an Asian cab driver who didn't understand them yelling at him and each other. "I want to punch you in the face," Caite lovingly yells at Brent. They never could catch up and ended up coming in third behind the cowboys.

At the finish line, the Lezzies are the only team that doesn't clap when Brent and Caite arrive at the check in. Pause it: Shame on usually-super-nice Phil for instigating Carol and Brandy, who are obviously still smarting about being U-Turned. "I don't want to hear 'sorry' from you. You purposely whacked us," Brandy screams. Talk about Debbie Downer! Not only did they have horrible attitudes on the race, but they proved what bitches they are by ruining what should've been a congratulatory moment for those who actually finished the race. Good for Caite for defusing the situation by not letting Brandy have the last word. "I'm the one standing here and not you." Touche.

Even though the cowboys didn't win, at least they left with some class and their integrity in tact, unlike Dan and Jordan, who successfully lived out his life-long dream of running the race, but will now carry the name "Team I Wanted the Cowboys To Win."

Some parting thoughts: If I ever hear the words "C'mon, bro!" again, I will fly to Rhode Island to beat Dan and Jordan with an ugly stick; I find it very ironic that the teams left Shanghai for California and everyone ended up Asian cab drivers.

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If you get some free time, check out last week's episode of "Medium" (cbs.com). It was quite the mix of time travel and ghost whispering. A fascinating show, indeed.

Stupid wins because stupid does

I just finished watching the second episode of "Miami Medical" (CBS, Fri., 10:00) and you can totally tell it's produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, the same man who cranks out the "CSI" franchise. It's a good show, but nothing to change your viewing schedule for. In true Bruckheimer form, it's high on shocking plot twists with not much focus on the acting. *Staring at "CSI: Miami's" David Caruso* Here's what happened Sunday night:

"The Amazing Race" (CBS, 8:00): How impressive was last week's "worst-to-first" performance by Team 8 Seconds? I thought the Cowboys were done when they had to endure the Speed Bump penalty for coming in last on a non-elimination leg, but they proved why they are still in the race. Now we're down to the last five teams and I desperately want to see them in the Top 3.

8 Seconds is the first team to leave and are instructed to travel 400 miles to Singapore via a bus and train. When the teams open their clues, they learn they will encounter a U-turn somewhere in the leg. Team Fred and Velma (Brent and Caite), along with the Infective Detectives (Louie and Michael) immediately jump at the chance to use the power on the Sexy Lezzies. Neither team likes Carol or Brandy, left, and they try to get Don't Ask, Won't Tell (Dan and Jordan) to take a swig of their Haterade. Caite announces that she would "100% U-turn Carol and Brandy" because the couple acted mean towards her, adding she wouldn't "mind being the only girl left." Pause it: Raise your hand if you think Caite doesn't know how to calculate 100%.

All teams end up on the same sleeper train to Singapore. When they arrive at the station, the Lezzies try to push their way past the other teams, to no avail. Michael says, “They want to push their way through, try and bully their way through. Wrong crew to bully. Adds Brent, "Ladies get their way. Bitches don't." Once off the train, the teams race to find Allan Wu, hosts of "The Amazing Race Asia," for their next clue. When they get their clues, they discover there's a Fast Forward. The winner of the Fast Forward gets to skip all tasks and go straight to the Pit Stop. Don't Ask, Won't Tell head for it, while the other teams head for the Detour: pound the drums or pound the pavement.

When Dan and Jordan arrive at the Fast Forward, they learn they have to scale the world's tallest observation wheel. Jordan tells Dan, "So maybe now’s a good time to tell you that I’ve just discovered I have an intense fear of heights.” They manage to make it through the challenge and are the first to arrive at the Pit Stop. They win a pair of motorbikes to which they respond, "There is not chance we would ever step on that thing. Our mother would kill us."

Back at the Detour, all teams opt for pounding the drums until most of them realize they have no rhythm. Fred and Velma master the beat and head off to find their next clue while the Detectives, the Lezzies and 8 Seconds all struggle. The Dectectives try to go for the Fast Forward only to get there and see that Dan and Jordan are already doing it. They rush back to pound the pavement - selling ice cream to the locals - while the cowboys and the lesbians are getting beat by the beat. Meanwhile, the Infective Detectives conquer the ice cream challenge and head to the Road Block.

Back at the drum challenge, both the lezzies and the cowboys are about to give up but both teams finally master the performance. Carol and Brandy excitedly hurry to the next clue only to find they've been U-turned by Fred and Velma. "She's an idiot and she's on YouTube to prove it," Carol angrily exclaims. Pause it: Damn, this couple is in serious need of anger management, for real!

After completing a Road Block of counting the links of an enormous anchor chain, it's a race to the finish between the cowboys, the lesbians and the detectives. 8 Seconds manages to come in third behind Fred and Velma. "The closest thing we play to a musical instrument is the radio," Jet tells Phil about their struggles with the drum.

The Lezzies and the Detectives are in a footrace to the Pit Stop and for a split second I saw myself dissolving into a heap of anger at the thought of the Sexy Lezzies being saved by a non-elimination. But alas, my prayers are answered and the Lezzie are taken down by "Brent and Caite Gump". Carol sums up the leg perfectly: "Dumb did us in." That may be true, Lezzies, but dumb is still in the race and you guys are left with nothing but each other. Good luck with that, ladies. You Negative Nellies deserve each other.

The show takes a break next week for the Country Music Awards, so don't fret when you can't find it.

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Former girl-group singer Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas (from TLC) is looking for love, and I caught a snippet of her new show, "What Chilli Wants" (VH1, 10;00). All I can say is her dating requirements list is almost as long as mine. As she was saying them out loud (must love God, must not eat pork, must have washboard abs, don't drink or smoke, eh em ... well endowed), I felt a lot better about my little "must have all his teeth" requirement. Chilli's friend Missy Elliott even pointed out she'd have to date Jesus find anyone who'd measure up. "I'm gonna send a Disciple your way," she jokes. One requirement that really disturbed me was the "no more than two baby mommas" rule. Really? Just two, huh? Way to keep it classy, Chilli. Is that the standard I have to work with now? Whatever happened to tall, dark and handsome? Now I have to put a numerical limit on baby mommas? I throw up my hands and jut out my hip.

Taking responsibility

I have spent the last 2 days doing absolutely nothing. NOTHING! It was my first real "weekend" in months. No volunteering at the school. No errands to run during the day. Just me sitting in bed until 1 p.m., going to the gym, then getting back in bed and sleeping until primetime TV starts. Here's a quick recap of Tuesday night ... and a few leftovers from Sunday and Monday.

"16 & Pregnant" (MTV, 10:00): Wow! The parents on this episode were as much to blame as the kids for this pregnancy and the focus is more about the baby daddy than the mother-to-be. Sixteen-year-old Nicole and her high-school dropout boyfriend Tyler are expecting a baby girl. He has a rocky relationship with his mom so he splits his time living at his grandma's and Nicole's house. Tyler was expelled from school when he was 13 and he's the type of guy who thinks he can make a career out of anything. Pause it: Really Tyler? A skateboarder? A mixed-martial artist? That's probably all he can be since he dropped out of school at 13. Dude, can you even read? Tyler promises he'll get his GED once the baby is born.

Nicole's friends have a hard time understanding why her mom is so supportive of her pregnancy. She reveals that she had another daughter die immediately after being born. Then her husband dies a year later when Nicole was only 2 years old. Pause it: Sounds like mom has some issues she needs to work out on the short couch. It's one thing to be supportive. It's another to try to use your pregnant teenager's baby to replace the one you lost.

At 7 months, Nicole starts having pains in her stomach - the night before her baby shower. She's rushed to the hospital and they give her drugs to stop her from going into early labor. They are released from the hospital just in time for the shower, where Tyler's estranged mom decides to show her face. She grumbles about the struggles she had after having Tyler at 17. She wanted him to be more responsible than she was. Pause it: Maybe if she wouldn't have kicked him out at 13, she could've taught him some of that responsibility she's talking about.

As Nicole's due date approaches, she tries to jump start her labor by using crazy home remedies: drinking castor oil, eating weird foods, and my personal fave - recklessly driving over speed bumps. She eventually goes into labor after Tyler suggests a game of pool would get the baby moving. Almost fourteen hours later, Nicole gives birth to 9 lb., 6 oz. Brooklyn Marie. The couple spends the first few months shuttling the baby between houses. Everytime they would wear out their welcome at one house they would move on to the next. Tyler's mom finally puts her foot down and tells them it's not good for baby Brooklyn to not have a permanent place to call home. In the end, Tyler's mom helps him get a job and he does go back to get his GED.

Tune in next week as preggers teen Leah prepares to give birth to twins!

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• "Dancing With the Stars" (ABC, Tues., 8:00): In a shocking turn of events, Shannen Doherty is the first contestant voted off. I say shocking because hobbling, emotionless stick figure Kate Gosselin lives to dance another week and Old Man River astronaut guy is still in it, breathing machine and all. OK, so he's not on a breathing machine, but he's as old as John McCain, and that guy is like, 106. ABC knows where their bread is buttered: They gave the last 30 minutes of Monday's show to Pamela Anderson and Gosselin - guaranteed ratings boosters.
  
• "Lost" (ABC, Tues., 9:00): According to a reliable source, Sayid is a lost cause who is as soulless as my old gym sneakers. Now that the Locke Monster has stolen his innards, Sayid is out of the running to be an island protector. I suspect he'll be one of the major casualties that will start happening in the last few episodes.
• "The Amazing Race" (CBS, Sun., 8:00): Now that Team Showmance is out of the race, I'm pulling for 8 Seconds. Those cowboys gave me a scare this week as they came in last after running around Seychelles. Luckily it was a non-elimination leg and they are still in it. Unfortunately, so are the Sexy Lezzies. Team No Name snag their first win, but they lose their backpacks when they leave them at the Road Block. At least they have their passports and money.
  

The war is over

Sorry (again) for the late posting. Daylight savings time isn't saving me anything. Here's a recap of ...

"The Amazing Race" (CBS, Sun., 8:00): I'm pretty sure it's somewhere in the Bible about pride coming before destruction. Obviously Asian Persuasion (Joe and Heidi, left) didn't read that chapter.

After a mandatory resting period in Hamburg, Germany, teams were loaded onto a bus and driven to an unknown location. Joe, with his bum knee, sat in the back row icing his injury. During his interview, he confidently says, “These teams around here, they’re not going to hinder me at all. I’ve been running with one leg. Imagine when this improves.” Overhearing his boasting, one of the Defective Detectives remarks, “Joe sees himself bigger than he is. He’s a confident guy. I like the confident guys to go."

The teams arrive in France and instructed to find a bakery and buy a baguette to receive their next clue. The Defective Detectives were smart enough to ask a postal worker for directions while 8 Seconds (Jet and Cord) aren't quite sure what a "bag-u-ette" is. Fred and Velma (Brent and Caite) are still directionally challenged. Pause it: It always comes back to maps with them. Even with a compass on Brent's watch, they still find themselves needing to pull over for directions ... and still getting lost after they get them.

At the Detour, the racers must choose between "In the Trenches" or "Under Fire". For the trenches, teams must use a manual to translate a Morse code message. In under fire, they have to dress as American Doughboys (huh?) and crawl 100 yards to get a message from a soldier. They then have to crawl back and attach it to a pigeon. Pause it: I don't know who thought it was fun to dress up and reenact past wars. But I guess it's better than being in one that's going on now. *Shaking fists at the former President.

Defective Detectives are the first to arrive and for a policeman, Louie is quite out of shape. They make it through the task fairly quickly and are determined to use the Blind U-Turn that's ahead. A U-Turn forces a team to go back and complete the other side of the Detour. Joe and Louie decide to target Asian Persuasion to teach them a lesson in humility. Joe, who had stupidly crawled on his bad knee is stunned and angry to learn they must now complete the other task. "I can't wait to give the detectives some difficulties," he snaps. Gotta get in front of the pack first, buddy.

There was a lot of hilarity that ensued on the battlefield, mostly from Don't Ask, Won't Tell (Dan and Jordan) with their comical lines. "Should we pretend like the enemy is chasing us and walk a little bit faster?" The Sexy Lezzies (Carol and Brandy) were a little less entertaining with their constant complaining about being too prissy for crawling in the dirt. Brandy’s attitude continued to sink. “I’m so pissed off about this right now. Smart people do Morse code. Dumb people do this.” *Holding up mirror so she can see her dumb reflection.*

The next clue tells the teams to dress in turn of the century riding gear (including moustaches) and ride four miles to the Pit Stop. The Detectives are once again team number one, winning 55" HD TVs. Team No Name (Steve and Allie) come in second while 8 Seconds trots into third.

Back on the course, Team Showmance (Jeff and Jordan) are not only bringing up the rear, but they have a nasty Speed Bump to contend with for coming in last on a non-elimination leg. They must perform another task that no other team had to complete: reinforce a trench with branches. I was so consumed with them gaining on the other teams that I totally forgot about that Speed Bump. Showmance breezed through the trench, but got held up crawling through it when Jordan complained about her hat and clothes being too big. The camera quickly pans to Jeff who pretends to shoot himself in the mouth with his reenactment gun. They finally get into a groove and are excited to see that Asian Persuasion is still working on the task, having a difficult time trying to figure out the Morse-code message. Showmance finally completes the Detour and Jeff asks the clue giver, "Is the war over because of this message or because it took us so long to get here?"

Fred and Velma arrive at the check in only to learn that they had missed one of the clues. The rules state that you must check in at the Pit Stop with all clues in your possession. They must ride the bicycles back to the war course to find the missing clue. Meanwhile, Asian Persuasion has had enough and decide to hunker down in one the trenches, ultimately handing Team Showmance the final spot.

I'm glad Joe and Heidi were eliminated. Joe's attitude was a wee bit smug for me. Thank you, Detectives, for teaching them the meaning of humility ... both literally and figuratively.

Sweet and sauerkraut

I took Sunday off and coincidentally, it fell on Oscar night. I want to make something perfectly clear: I do not give a flying monkey about the Academy Awards. Emmys? Yes! Oscars? NO! I rarely go see movies and the ones I do see are hardly ever nominated ("The Hangover" anyone?) I will admit that I did see "The Blind Side" three times - in the theater! And it was worth the $10 every time! Here's a quick recap of ...

"The Amazing Race" (CBS, 8:00): What started out as a slightly dull leg quickly turned into a hilarious night of hijinks as teams gobbled sauerkraut, guzzled beer and belched their way through Hamburg, Germany.

Teams say goodbye to Argentina and fly 8,000 miles to Frankfurt, Germany. They must then take a train to Hamburg for the next clue. After a rocky last leg, the Sexy Lezzies agree that the word for the day is "respectful". Team 8 Seconds and the Defective Detectives (Louie and Michael, left) are able to catch the first train while the Lezzies and Don't Ask, Won't Tell miss it by mere seconds. They end up on a later train with the rest of the teams.

At the Roadblock, the teams encounter an Intersection - two people from different teams must partner up to complete the task - a 150-foot tandum bungee jumping. 8 Seconds and Defective Detectives send Michael and Jet, who refuses to take his hat off during the plunge. "A real cowboy's hat never comes off," he reasons. Pause it: Well, Jet must be a Stetson man because that hat stayed glued like weave on a black woman. They breeze through the challenge and go their separate ways. Asian Persuasion pairs with Team No Name (father/daughter Steve and Allie), while the Lezzies get with the other gay. Jokes Dan, "She's (Carol) is like the lesbian aunt I never had. Showmance is forced to team up with Fred and Velma, as they are the last two teams to the clue box.

At the Detour, teams had a choice between soccer or sauerkraut - hit five targets from the penalty line or shovel down a plate of kraut before a band finishes playing the sauerkraut polka. Defective Detectives opt for the sauerkraut, but most of the teams head to the soccer field. Asian Persuasion's Joe has a bum knee which he tweaked during the bungee jump. They quickly give up and head for the sauerkraut. Team No Name killed at soccer and get out of there just as 8 Seconds shows up. Pause it: Who knew two cowboys would be so good at soccer? Not only are they llama whisperers, but they can now bend it like Beckham.

Team Showmance (Jeff and Jordan, left) pick the kraut challenge, but get stuck with a cab driver who leads them to the end of the earth after typing an incorrect address into his navigation system. Now in last place, Jordan say, “We should’ve just done the soccer thing.” Jeff's reply: “What do you mean, this guy would’ve typed it in his GPS; we would’ve ended up in Switzerland.” They finally get to the Detour, but aren't able to eat the pickled cabbage fast enough. Jeff says, "See you later, sauerkraut" and they head over to the soccer field.

At the second half of the Detour, the teams are made to drink a glass boot full of beer at the Haifisch Bar. Most of the teams were excited to get a drink but once they took a swing they all realize that it wasn't their father's beer. Rewind: I'm still laughing at the sound Asian Persuasion's Joe made when he started gagging on the beer. He sounded like a mix between the exorcist and a squealing pig. I watched it at least four times! The Defective Detectives are the first the get through the task and head to the Pit Stop. Going from worst to first, they win a $5,000 Discover gift card. Asian Persuasion and Team No Name take second and third, respectively.

Showmance and Fred and Velma drag up the rear all day and it's a foot race between dumber and dumbest to the Pit Stop. "If we get eliminated, I'm going back to that bar," Jordan says. Fred and Velma ultimately find the Pit Stop first, making Jeff and Jordan the last team to arrive. But like many unworthy teams before them, they get a reprieve as it's a non-elimination leg. Their 15 minutes is extended for another week. Fast Forward: They'll have to overcome a Speed Bump in the next leg if they want to stay in the competition.

Geography lesson: The Pit Stop for this leg of the race was the Indra Club in Hamburg's Red Light District. It's the first place the Beatles played in Hamburg, Germany.

Don't let the hat fool you

I have a new love interest. Ever since me and my laptop started having problems, I've been hanging out with this new guy named Firefox. He's really fast and I like the way he lets me cut and paste whenever I want to. Ahhh! The joys of young love. Here's what went on Sunday night:

"The Amazing Race" (CBS, Sun., 8:00): Is it just me or was this one of the fastest legs ever run on the race? After last week's disappointing dismissal of Granny Shannies, I was damn near praying that the Sexy Lezzies, left, would clock out. That prayer would've been too easy. Team 8 Seconds continued to show they are a force to be reckoned with, remaining calm and working well together. Meanwhile, other teams slowly creep toward that inevitable point of implosion.

The racers leave Chile and prepare for a six-hour bus ride through the Andes mountains. When the Lezzies arrive at the station, they immediately begin grilling 8 Seconds on how they managed to catch an earlier bus on the last leg. "I like someone to care about me and I didn't get that warm, fuzzy feeling," says Cord. Jet finishes with "A ‘Hey, how ya doing’ would’ve been nice.” Fred and Velma are off to a rocky start, as Caite is sick with food poisoning. Instead of leaving at their allotted time, they head to a local hospital. They arrive at the bus station three hours later and luckily for them, all the other teams are still waiting.

In Bariloche, Argentina, teams must play a game of five-card stud against the Travelocity roaming gnome. Pause it: That gnome is probably the one thing I hate about this show. It's so freaking scary! And not like 'there's-a-bug-on-you' scary. I'm talking 'Stephen-King-clowns-from-'It' scary! I'll admit I was one of those people who thought 8 Seconds was just a couple of country bumpkins, with their southern drawl and big belt buckles, but they continually surprise me. They are smart enough to seek out help from the locals and had directions in hand when they arrived. But how cute was it when they were in awe of the snow-capped mountains. You're a long way from Oklahoma, fellas. Driving through the mountains, most teams decided to follow behind the cowboys but they were crafty enough to pull over and let the other teams pass, so as not to tip their hand. Still at the back of the pack, Don't Ask, Won't Tell cant drive a stick, while Fred and Velma struggled with directions. Pause it: I'm sure it's because most Americans don't have maps, tee hee.

The racers breeze through five-card stud, but at the Road Block, teams were hog tied in a steer-roping challenge. That is, everyone except 8 Seconds, who lasso the hay bale on the second try. They head to the next challenge leaving the other teams whining in tangled masses of rope. Ambulance Chasers, lawyer/moms Monique and Shawne, struggle most of the afternoon and spend a majority of the leg trying to rope that steer.

8 Seconds opens their clue revealing the Detour: Horse Sense or Horse Power. Teams must choose between counting steps using an old-time compass to find stolen bags of money or attempting to score a goal in a polo match using nine swings or less. Of course they opt for riding the horse in a polo match. Too bad it's wooden. The Lezzies go for the money bags but end up bickering when they lack testosterone to counter all that estrogen. “That’s a nice temper tantrum,” Brandy yells to Carol. “We’re not communicating very well at all.” Pause it: It's no wonder they're not communicating well. They've only been dating for five months. I'll give them another two before their next Pit Stop - Splitsville. The Ambulance Chasers continue their downward spiral as they attempt the polo match but end up switching to the compass challenge when they can't score a goal.

At the Pit Stop, 8 Seconds rides into first place for the second time, winning a 10-day trip to Patagonia. Father/daughter Team No Name (Steve and Allie) grab second and the Lezzies drag in at third. The Ambulance Chasers finally complete the task but not fast enough. They finish in last place and the sun sets on their amazing race. I'm serious, it literally set. They didn't finish the challenge until the sun went down. Next up: Germany, where teams trace the early steps of the legendary Beatles.

Geography lesson: The Pit Stop for this leg of the race is Estancia Fortin Chacabuco, a sweeping ranch at the foot of the Andes mountains.

Fun funnies:

• After getting beat multiple times by the gnome at five-card stud, Cord jokes, “That gnome has a poker face that's out of this world ... He should go to Vegas.”
• When the Sexy Lezzies complain that the roping challenge gave the cowboys an unfair advantage, they retort, "We didn't throw a fit because they speak spanish."
• Steve to his daughter Allie after she asks him what hurts: "I'm 57 years old! What isn't hurting?"
  

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• On "Undercover Boss" (CBS, 9:00), Dave Rife, one of the owners of the White Castle hamburger chain, says he hopes he's not recognized by his employees when he goes undercover. Does it not clearly state at the start of the show that CEOs are out of touch with their businesses? Why do these bosses think they would be easily recognizable? Unless you're Ronald McDonald, nobody knows you, dude!
• "Desperate Housewives" (ABC, 9:00): Anyone who watches soap operas know that they don't air during breakfast. Are the ABC set directors on vacation? First it was thunder in Seattle. Now it's bad time elements. You'd think a network that airs three soaps between the hours of noon and 4 p.m. would know that nothing is on that early except cartoons and talk shows. Get it together, people!
  
• I hope the team put in for overtime on "Cold Case" (CBS, 10:00). Not only did they solve a two-year-old case involve the death of a cold-footed groom, they did it during a wedding reception, no less. That should at least get them time and a half.

Going rogue

Sorry for the late posting. When I said "later today', I wasn't anticipating it would be this late. The old laptop decided to take a mini vacation. He reappeared this morning, looking sad and sorry. I figured I'd give him one last chance to pull it together. But enough about my love life. Here's what happened last night on ...

"The Amazing Race" (CBS, Sun., 8:00): One Watch Party viewer is still upset over the elimination of the high school sweethearts. I had no attachment to them, but I developing a small crush on Team 8 Seconds (cowboys Jet and Cord). They proved they are no country bumpkins and could be a team to contend with. The racers leave Santiago, Chile, and hop on a 500-mile bus ride to Puerto Varas. Pause it: I could barely do a 10-mile bus ride from Sea-Tac airport, let alone 500. TAXI!!

All teams are even once they get to the bus station and the Sexy Lezzies decide to form an alliance with Team Asian Persuasion, married couple Joe and Heidi. Only two teams can make it onto the first bus, so when Asian Persuasion holds a spot in the ticket line for the Lezzies, the gloves come off. Pause it: There's no line holding in The Amazing Race! While AP and the Lezzie bask in the afterglow of getting the last seats on the bus, Jeff from Team Showmance and Team 8 Seconds both come up with the bright idea of taking a bus with a connection in another city. The move would put them in Puerto Varas 8 hours ahead of the others. Team Iraq and Such As follows suit and they all head to the other bus station. Take that Lezzies!

After the rogue teams arrive at the other bus station, 8 Seconds jumps ahead of the pack when they realize their bus leaves from a different terminal. By the time the others find out they are in the wrong terminal, it's too late and they miss the bus. Rewind: The whole thing was like watching an episode of "Scooby Doo," with them running back and forth between bus terminals. All that was missing was the Mystery Van and the creepy cartoon music. I think I'm going to change Iraq and Such As to Team Fred and Velma.

At the Detour, teams had to choose between llama adoration or condor consternation, i.e., dress a llama or fly like a bird. Already ahead with a big lead, Team 8 Seconds turned out to be quite the llama whisperers. I guess that should be no surprise since they are cowboys. Showmance, along with Fred and Velma and Team Granny Shannies (grandmother/granddaughter Jody and Shannon), all tried the flying condor route. Pause it: I don't know why these people really thought they would take flight. They all sank like rocks in that freezing water.

The Roadblock was a fairly easy challenge, if you are an octopus wearing a helmet. One team member had to race around a farm collecting ingredients to make a german dessert - flour, butter, a baker's dozen of eggs, a bowl of sugar and the kicker: milk straight from a cow. Pause it: And I mean it was a literal kicker as multiple racers took blows about the ears, nose and throat from these feisty cows. Poor Granny took a hard kick to the head, even though she was practically making love to Daisy, stoking the utters while whispering sweet nothings. All that was missing was the bow chicka wow wow porn music. Leave the money on the nightstand, Grandma!

I thought more teams would've been tripped up on the whole 'baker's dozen' thing - I only learned it was 13 last year - but 8 Seconds held on to their lead, coming in first and winning a sailboat. Alligned teams Asian Persuasion and Sexy Lezzies came in second and third, respectively. But it was Granny Shannies dragging up the rear and were eliminated from the race.

Nothing's ever easy

I had to say goodbye to some Watch Party members today. They are still part of the group, just moving to the other side of the state. Watch Party in Spokane! I'll miss you Michael and Jackie! Hopefully I'll see you after the "Survivor" finale! Here's what went down Sunday night:

"The Amazing Race" (CBS, 8:00): Welcome back to the Sunday night goodness that is "The Amazing Race"! My relationship with this show is like the one I have with my college buddy, Mike Jenkins: I don't really miss it until I realize how long it's been since I last saw it. (Mike: Love you, mean it!) It's my second favorite reality-competition show because it provides me with a bucket list of places I want to travel to before I die. First up: Chile.

It's always funny to see how the teams label each other, but I like to give them my own nicknames. Among the couples: Team Iraq and Such As (former Miss Teen South Carolina Caite Upton and her arm candy, Brent); Team Asian Persuasion (Joe and Heidi Wang); and Team Sexy Lezzies (gay dating couple Carol and Brandy). My early faves are Team Showmance (Jeff and Jordan, pictured left, of "Big Brother" fame) and Team Don't Ask, Won't Tell (gay/straight brothers Dan and Jordan). Pause it: Watch Dan's funny (and dead-on) impersonation of Caite's bungled Miss Teen USA question.

At the Los Angeles starting line, the 11 teams are given their first clue: make their way to LAX - using public transportation - and fly to Santiago, Chile. I just knew Showmance was doomed when they made it to the airport and Jordan asked for tickets to China. Pause it: Their team could also be called "Legally Dumb". Only three teams were allowed on the first flight, but unfortunately the flight was delayed so all three teams scramble to get on the second plane.

After arriving in Chile, the teams travel another 60 miles by bus to Valparaiso, the San Francisco of South America. At the Road Block, teams must walk a football field-length cable suspended 120 feet above the ground. Rewind: The course reminded me of the Capilano Suspension Bridge in Vancouver, B.C. I was breathless then and I was breathless now. Jordan and Caite from Teams Showmance and Iraq and Such As were the first to cross while Adrian from Team High School Sweetie brought up the rear.

At the next challenge, the teams had to carry four buckets of paint along with brushes and a ladder and finish painting a house that matched their paint color. The task was an easy one, but teams with a bad sense of direction provided some comic relief when they painted the wrong objects. Team Father-Daughter Issues (Steve and Allie) even went so far as to paint the interior of a random house where the residents were just as baffled as they were.

At the pit stop, Showmance came in first, winning a trip to Vancouver. See you at Capilano! Iraq and Such As came in second but were hit with a 30-minute penalty for not following the clue directions. That opened the door for Ambulance Chasers (attorneys Monique and Shawne) and 8-Seconds (cowboys Jet and Cord) to take second and third, respectively. Don't Ask, Won't Tell were also slapped with a penalty for losing one their paint brushes, but they only had to wait 15 minutes. Iraq and Such As were checked in at 7th place.

After falling off the cable course twice, High School Sweeties were one and done, making them the first team eliminated. My Watch Party buddy was really pulling for them because they were high school sweethearts. Sorry, Mary, but sentiment does not a winner make. See you at the finish line, Lovers!

Geography Lesson: The Pit Stop was Palacio Baburizza, a 90-year old palace that now houses a Fine Arts Museum.

CHANNEL SURFING
Just a few thoughts on tonight's episode of "Undercover Boss" (CBS, 9:00): Coby Brooks, President and CEO of Hooters went undercover in one of the franchise's busiest establishments where he encountered a manager who actually makes the girls participate in demeaning contests to go home early. The thing that got me was that this guy managed to keep his job by promising to apologize to his Hooter Girls. First of all, if those girls had any sense they would be filing a harrassment lawsuit as I type this. Secondly, what does it take to get fired from Hooters? Mr. Brooks said he wanted to change people's perception of his family's business, but you keep people on your payroll who have no respect for women. You said you wouldn't want your daughters to work for him, but I wouldn't want my daughters to see their inheritance pays a manager as vile as him. I'm just sayin'.

Funny lines:

• "At the end of the day, their husbands are still gonna come in." - Hooter girl, after a woman says she doesn't eat there because it's demeaning to women.
• "Shirts come in small, extra small and extra extra small." (I would need at least 3 or 4 smalls just to cover my muffin top).

So Amazing

A pair of cowboys, a former teen beauty queen, a pair of models and some reality-show favorites are among the 11 teams that will race around the world for the $1 million grand prize on "The Amazing Race". Season 16 premieres Feb. 14, at 8:00 p.m on CBS.

Teams will start in Los Angeles and have to make their way to the airport via public transportation - no taxis and no rental cars (Good luck with that!). The racers then head to Valparaiso, Chile. Other stops include France and the Seychelles, which is located off the east coast of Africa. "It takes forever to get there," says executive producer Bertram van Munster.

Here are the teams:
Caite Upton, 20 & Brent Horne, 28
Relationship: Dating Models
(She's the former Miss Teen South Carolina who entertained us with the infamous "some-people-don't-have-maps" answer during the 2007 Miss Teen USA pageant)

Louis Stravato, 47 & Michael Naylor, 45
Relationship: Colleagues - undercover detectives
(They certainly can't call themselves "undercover" after being on this show"

Steve Smith, 57 & Allie Smith, 23
Relationship: Father - Daughter

Jeff Schroeder, 31 & Jordan Lloyd, 22 (of "Big Brother" fame)
Relationship: Newly Dating

Monique Pryor, 39 & Shawne Morgan, 39
Relationship: Moms - Attorneys

Jet McCoy, 30 & Cord McCoy, 29
Relationship: Brothers - bull-riding cowboys

Adrian Davis, 40 & Dana Davis, 39
Relationship: Married

Jody Kelly, 71 & Shannon Foster, 22
Relationship: Grandmother - Granddaughter

Carol Rosenfeld, 47 & Brandy Snow, 40
Relationship: Dating

Daniel Pious, 24 & Jordan Pious, 22
Relationship: Brothers

Joe Wang, 42 & Heidi Wang, 37
Relationship: Married

So amazing!

It's past midnight, officially making it my birthday! Is it lame that I'm blogging about TV instead of going out to celebrate? Good, I didn't think so. Plenty of time for that later. Let's get on with it ...

"The Amazing Race" (CBS, 8:00): After the elimination of my beloved Globetrotters last week I couldn't bring myself to blog about it. I was heartbroken that they didn't make it to the finals. Apparently I wasn't the only one, as people took to the CBS.com message boards campaigning for Flight Time and Big Easy to be on the next season of All-Stars. If there is indeed an All-Stars season, I hope they come back. Now for the real action ...

After traveling for 21 days through 8 countries and more than 25,000 miles, Team Unmarried Married Couple, Meghan and Cheyne, are the winners of "The Amazing Race". For the last leg, teams flew 6,000 miles from the Czech Republic to Las Vegas where they 'casino crawled' from challenge to challenge. The tasks didn't seem all that difficult, but anyone who has been to Las Vegas knows that you don't 'race' anywhere. The Strip is just a sea of taxicabs and tourists.

The final leg started off evenly with all the teams on the same flight, so it was anybody's race. Team Zebra pulled ahead when they snagged a helpful taxi driver, but that was the only luck they would get for the remainder of the race. At the Roadblock, teams had to rappel 600 feet face-first down the side of the Mandalay Bay Hotel. Ericka, the black half of Team Zebra, managed to finish first with no problems. The Watch Party, on the other hand, was hyperventilating through the whole thing. Pause it: This is one of the rare shows that makes me have a physical reaction every time they do something scary. *Fainting at the thought of that waterslide*.

For the next challenge, the teams raced to The Mirage where they had to join Cirque du Soleil's "Love", trying to grab a bunch of flowers suspended above the stage as they bounced in a bungee harness. This is when Team Zebra turned into Team Exorcist and Ericka completely lost it. I know you're black honey, but angry is not your color. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that she wears the pants in that marriage. After counting out $1 million in poker chips at the Monte Carlo, teams ran to the MGM Grand's High Rollers Suite to find Mr. Las Vegas, Wayne Newton, for their final clue. Pause it: Seriously, Mr. Las Vegas Wayne Newton. Whomever your plastic surgeon is, you need to go back and ask for a refund. Go directly to the doctor and do not pass go. It looks like your cheeks are trying to eat your forehead.

Thanks to Meghan and Cheyne's calm-under pressure demeanor and knowledgeable taxi driver, they pulled ahead for the win. Thank you, God for not allowing Team Chip and Dale to win. Their sneaky ways came back to bite them, but I was very proud at the way they managed to find a way to fight during the chip-counting challenge. You guys are real winners.

I couldn't help but wonder how the Globetrotters would've faired in the final leg. I'm sure that bungee task would've been an easy one since they are both tall guys. But the guys proved they aren't the bounciest balls on the court when it comes to intellect and I'm sure that counting challenge would've proved difficult. Can't wait until next season. I'm hearing rumblings that Jeff and Jordan of "Big Brother" fame are being courted as contestants. They're cute, but both are dumber than a box of rocks, so I don't see them getting very far if they do.

Who were you rooting for? Are you campaigning for the Globetrotters to get another shot?

Interesting fact: The majority of the Las Vegas Strip is actually in Paradise, Nevada, not Las Vegas. Don't be impressed. I heard it during the commercial break.

CHANNEL SURFING
"Cold Case" (CBS, 10:00): It's funny how on this show people's memories get better with age. Tonight's case was from 1999 and people were rambling off details like the murder happened a week ago. Where was all this remembering-of-facts when they guy was bleeding from a gunshot wound to the head? I'll be glad when they finally do a mash up between "Cold Case" and "Ghost Whisperer". But I guess if Melinda Gordon lived in Philly, there would be no need for a Cold Case Division, huh?

Roll out

Here's your Sunday sampler.

"The Amazing Race" (CBS, 8:00): The competition is the closest it's ever been. The remaining teams have all run good races up to this point and it's really anybody's game. I knew my Globetrotters would still be here, along with Team Chip & Dale (Sam & Dan). I'm a little surprised by some of the others. Most boy/girl pairings would've imploded by now, and Team Dad Doesn't Know Me (father/son Gary and Matt) has the oldest player left in the game at the ripe old age of 47. I guess it's a testament to these couples strong relationships to be able to make it this far without ripping each other's lips off.

Teams make their way to Stockholm, Sweden. When Flight Time announced that it was his birthday I knew it could go either way for the Globetrotters. Either they would get eliminated in dramatic fashion or come in first. At the Detour, teams make their way through a theme park to find the Fritt Fall, a ride that plunges 24 stories in three seconds. Flashback: I rode something similar to this at Disney World in Florida called the Tower of Terror. A part of my stomach is still on that ride. Flight Time didn't even allow himself to scream. That's some self control you got there, partner. Team then must play ring toss for a travel gnome before heading to the Road Block. Pause it: How cute was it that the Globetrotters gave theirs a name?!

After a second Detour that involved explosives, the racers made their way to the Road Block Switchback, a task from a previous season that only one person could perform. When I heard they would be repeating the infamous "needle in a haystack" challenge from season 6, I knew these teams were in trouble. It was one of the most daunting tasks in "Race" history. Teams search a sprawling field of hay bales looking for one of only seven clues. The first time around, one team spent 10 hours searching. Women give birth faster than that!

I was really disappointed in Cheyne (Team Unmarried Married Couple) for making Meghan do the task. Yes, boys and girls are created equal, but he totally punked out on this one. Even Brian paused to think about making Ericka do it, but at least he stepped up. Matt made his dad do the searching, saying dad had been around hay all his life. (Matt is one lazy kid). Chip & Dale were coming apart at the seams. Is it bad that I enjoyed watching them yell at each other? Flight Time got his birthday wish as the Globetrotters came in first. These guys definitely have the best luck, being able to find the clue in less than two hours. Dad manages to find a clue after almost 3 hours and luckily for them, it was a non-elimination leg. Normally I hate those, but Gary totally deserved a second chance after baling all that hay. (Giving Matt the stink eye).

"Brothers & Sisters" (ABC, 10:00): Kitty wants to try alternative medicine and positive thinking instead of chemotherapy. She wants to eliminate all the stress from her life and focus her energy on bringing in good vibes. I know some people won't agree with me, but it was nice, if not heartbreaking, to see someone being vulnerable with cancer. Most of the time we see people get a diagnosis then become all empowered and vow to fight a good fight. I think Kitty's reaction mirrors what most women feel. This questioning of why this happened to her and the uncertainty of her future. When she realized her hair was falling out, she didn't pretend to be strong. She hid in the bathroom and sobbed. Call me pessimistic, but I liked the realism. Kitty does eventually shave her head, but the scene is very muted and not over-the-top dramatic.

As for the rest of the Walker clan, Scotty finds out his parents are separated because his dad cheated; Sarah is worried that her Parisian boy toy is a little too young and Rebecca finds out she's pregnant. When would be a good time to discuss Kevin's hair? Dude is in need of a trim. Seriously!

CHANNEL SURFING
On "Desperate Housewives" (ABC, 9:00), Julie confides in Lynette about her affair with Dominic. Being the good, feisty neighbor/friend that she is, she confronts Dominic and threatens to reveal his secret if he doesn't stay away from Julie. I was pleasantly surprised to see the Scavos sit Julie down like she was their own daughter and school her on her stupidity. It proved how much they value their relationship with Susan.
Rewind the tape: Does Bree really know how to cook or does she just go around borrowing recipes from everybody on Wisteria Lane? Tonight she wanted to use Angie's Italian recipes. Didn't she try to steal a pie recipe from Katherine two seasons ago? It's not really cooking if you have to use a recipe. I'm just saying.

Sunday soup

Here's a mix of what happened Sunday night.

"The Amazing Race" (CBS, 8:00): Since we're down to only six teams I can start using the super cool names I've given them. These are the labels I gave them when there were too many individual names to sort out, and I readily admit they aren't politically correct. Shruggsies ... It's my watch party. Tonight, our tour around the world takes us to Amsterdam.

I was worried my Globetrotters (they brought their own nicknames!) were going to spend the episode making up for coming in last on the previous leg, but all the teams ended up on the same flight. Team Chip and Dale (Dan & Sam) decide to gay pride it out and the revelation is met with a variety of comments, the funniest being "That explains the matching swimsuits!"

At the Roadblock, teams must count bells while walking up a long flight of stairs. Team Zebra (Ericka & Brian) had to do it three times before getting the correct number. Pause it: I wanted to call them Team Jungle Fever, but since they anointed themselves Team Zebra early on, I'm rolling with it). Ericka's miscalculations put them 2 hours behind going into the Detour, and their bad luck continued when they didn't follow the instructions on the clue correctly. Chip & Dale breeze through and take first place, but Team Poker Face (Maria & Tiffany) couldn't complete either side of the Detour, opening the door for Team Zebra, who despite having to take a 30-minute penalty for the clue mishap, managed to come in 5th place. Team Poker Face calls it quits and it's one of the rare times where Phil shows up at the challenge to tell a team they've been eliminated.

I was just starting to warm up to the poker players. I didn't like their ways in the beginning, but they were a smart team and I thought this may have been the year an all-girl team could win. And I know that I say this every week, but seriously, could I love the Globetrotters any more than I already do? They are funny, kind and not to hard on the eyes. Flight Time can detour to my neighborhood whenever he's ready!!!

Geography lesson: Seaside retreat Zoutkamp Harbor was the pit stop for this leg of the race. It's located in the Groningen Province of the Netherlands.

CHANNEL SURFING
Did Tracie Thoms really leave "Cold Case" (CBS, 10:00) or is she "on a break"? ... Whenever I watch this show I'm reminded that there was once a time when files were hand-written, telephones had cords and women had to fight to be seen as equals. But the one theme that always rings true: murder is as old as Cain and Abel.

I heard some really funny banter on "Desperate Housewives" (ABC, 9:00). Gabby and Carlos were arguing about who taught their 7-year-old daughter the f-word. After a "blank"-filled tirade, Gabby finishes with "Fine, but I know someone who isn't getting blank tonight." Carlos says, "Fine with me. I blanked off earlier." ... Surely, Tom and Lynette are headed for divorce court. She's had his balls in a vice for so long I don't see how they managed to stay together this long. Must be for the kids.

Weekend Wrap-up

Let's talk about the weekend. Friday night was full of fear while Sunday was all about being hot - physically and literally. Here's a rundown.

Friday
"Medium" (CBS, 9:00): When Allison hears a baby crying in her dreams, she realizes it's a cry for help from an infant who has been kidnapped. Joe is rightly concerned when Allison is stricken with a bout of baby fever and steals the baby herself once he's found. When she calls Joe to tell him where she's hiding he bluntly says "You already have children, and they don't want to only see you on visitor's day." Pause it: The police stormed in on Alli like she was hiding Elian Gonzalez. Were all the big guns really necessary for a woman who works for the district attorney's office?

It's obvious Joe loves his wife, but I'm amazed he doesn't sleep in a separate bedroom. If my spouse woke me up every night the way Allison does we'd be headed for divorce court. And who calls in the middle of the night and says "I hope I didn't wake you"? Seriously.

Poor Bridgette is suffering with "Jan Brady syndrome". She's horrible at learning to play the clarinet, but baby sister Marie plays perfectly without one lesson. She whines to dad that she's known as "everybody's sister" and I know exactly how she feels. All through high school I was "Kevin's sister". It's always Kevin, Kevin, Kevin! Turns out Marie was just being haunted by a ghost who passed away before finishing a song he was writing.

I'm still angry that CBS canceled so many of my favorite shows, but I like that they are recycling actors from now defunct shows. The baby's mom was played by Abby Brammell from "The Unit".

Saturday
"Law & Order: SVU" (NBC, Wed., 9:00): I missed the show earlier in the week (shaking my fist at TiVo) but I was able to catch it on repeat. I was worried we were going to go down another soap box road but surprisingly, they stuck to the script.

The law: Benson and Stabler are called to the home of a mom who catches her son wrestling naked with a friend. The boy was being molested and as soon as the stepfather entered the scene, I knew he was the culprit. Pause it: How careless of Benson and Stabler to constantly point fingers at people without any foundation. Yeah, the stepdad was creepy but they had no proof of his guilt.

The order: Dad wants to cut a deal upon his arrest and offers to help the cops bust a bigger ring of pedophiles. Enter Our Special Love, a group of child molesters who find nothing wrong with loving prepubescent kids. Rewind: "South Park" did an episode about a group like this called NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Love Association). At first I thought it was a joke but after a quick Internet search, I found it is, indeed, a real group. VOMITING!!! Thankfully, the leader of Our Special Love is sentenced to 3,000 years in jail. Somehow that doesn't seem long enough.

Turn that up: Did we already know Dr. Wong was gay or did he subtly come out just now? It was kind of startling, just like when D.A. Serena Southerlyn asked if she was fired because she was a lesbian. Totally came from left field. And is there ever a time when a 30-year-old man should be sleeping with an 11-year-old girl? I didn't think so. (Passing you the vomit bucket)

Sunday
"The Amazing Race" (CBS, 8:00): The teams are still running around Dubai. CBS must've really liked this location to do two episodes there. I'm just thankful that no teams have fallen into the pattern of making uneducated comments when traveling through foreign countries. The race continued with a row-a-dingy roadblock, a detour of counting gold or building hookahs and a plunge down a six-story waterslide known as the "Leap of Faith".

My favorite team, the Globetrotters, started out at the front of the pack, but quickly fell behind when Big Easy couldn't figure out the combination to his briefcase with the next clue inside. So imagine my surprise when they sped through the detour of measuring out $500,000 worth of gold. I guess there's a difference between being good with numbers and being good at math, no? I love this team because they manage to stay both calm and positive under all that pressure. They didn't even yell at the cab driver when he took them to the wrong location.

It wasn't a good night for Team Saving Ourselves for Marriage, Mika and Canaan. Mika was overcome by her fear of water AND heights so the waterslide was a definite no-go for her. After she refused to complete the task, they were eliminated. Would Mika still be your girlfriend if she possibly cost you a million dollars? Were the Globetrotters wrong for taunting Mika about the slide or is all fair in love and racing? Next stop: The Netherlands!

Geography lesson: The waterslide as located at Atlantis: The Palm resort in Dubai. What a beautiful oasis. The pit stop was on one of the vast beaches surrounding the hotel, Dolphin Bay Beach. I gotta get to Dubai!

"Brothers & Sisters" (ABC, 10:00): Sarah's parisian lover has flown 6,000 miles to see her and she has to stash him away at mom's house when her kids return home a day early. Gilles Marini ("Dancing With the Stars", full-frontal nudity guy in "Sex and the City") plays Luke Laurent and everyone except Nora is taken in by his charm. Of course ABC found a way to work in Marini's dance skills by having him teach Rebecca and Justin a wedding dance. Who knew Rebecca could tango?

Holly finds out she's broke after investing all her money in a Ponzi scheme. All she has left are her stocks in Ojai and her house, which she had better doublecheck to make sure she didn't finance through WaMu. Holly is feeling the pinch after promising Rebecca a dream wedding and she doesn't have enough money to pay for it. See people! You spend the money after the wedding, no on it! Oh, and Kevin and Scotty found a surrogate to carry their baby. She's a pursemaker. I'm going to just roll with that.

Random thoughts: ABC's blatant product placement of the Kindle digital book ... could you be any more obvious? The way everyone was fawning, including Uncle Saul, over Luke getting out of the pool was some of the funniest Walker family dialogue in a long time. Paige went through a growth spurt, but whoever cut her hair should be shot. The Geisha look is not flattering on tweens. Speaking of hair, Kevin is in need of a haircut. No white man should ever try to rock an afro. Lastly, it's great to see some plot follow-through. Did anyone notice recovering drug addict Justin drinking water at dinner while everyone else was sipping wine?

Sunday = Sad day

The night started with a disappointing loss, and the hits just kept coming. Here's your Sunday sampling.

"The Amazing Race" (CBS, 8:00): Our journey around the world continues through Phnom Penh, Cambodia. For a minute there it looked as though it was going to be a race for last place between Team Autism (Zev/Justin) and Team Annoying Idiots (Lance/Keri). But all teams managed to catch the first flight so everyone was on an even playing field. The challenges didn't strike me as all that difficult tonight, but people who were short on patience would definitely have problems.

How sad was it that the only person who recognized Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis in the photo was the oldest guy on the race. You've got to be kidding me. Her face is up there with Princess Diana and Michael Jackson's nose. Pause it: EVERYBODY knows that nose. And who knew monkeys were so revered in Cambodia?

Team Autism came in first, but Zev lost his passport along the way. Unless they could find it before the last team arrived, they were going to be eliminated. It seemed like they had already come to terms with their fate. They didn't put much effort into looking for that passport, but retracing their steps did appear to be a daunting task. Too bad because they were one of my two favorite teams. In the words of Zev: single tear falling.

Geography lesson: The Pit Stop was Wat Phnom or "Hill Temple", a Buddha shrine built over 600 years ago and is the tallest religious structure in the city. Next stop: Dubai, where the teams face extremes of all kinds.

"Brothers & Sisters" (ABC, 10:00): Kitty finds out she's in stage 3 of lymphoma and a power struggle ensues between mom Nora and husband Robert over Kitty's course of treatment. They later come to a truce to support Kitty in whatever she decides. Pause it: Does a mother trump husband in a situation like this? When you're sick do you call your mom or your husband first? It's very endearing to see men cry so when Kevin, Saul and Justin all broke down over the news about Kitty, I broke down with them. But you had to wipe me up off the floor when Sarah showed up at the end. There's nothing like a sister.

William's sordid past is still haunting his family. Dennis, a man William testified against, wants revenge for the five years he spent in prison and is doing everything he can to undermine the company William started. I can see this storyline going really well if they don't turn it into a soap opera. Let's stay focused on the family.

"Cold Case" (CBS, 10:00): The title of this episode was "Jurisprudence". The dictionary defines it as "the science or philosophy of law", but in this case it was also a luxury ski cabin in Utah.

Alex Caceres was killed during a stint in Havenhurst Juvenile Detention Center. The case was reopened after another detainee came forward with information about his death. Det. Valens wanted to solve the case because he felt he'd let Alex down. The case winds through a list of guards and other locked-up teens, but it all comes back to the judge who sent Alex away in the first place. Here's the breakdown: The state pays for kids to go to Havenhurst. Havenhurst is owned by the judge's sister-in-law. The sister-in-law pays the judge for every kid he sends her way. The kids pay for the cabin, ergo, jurisprudence.

I was loving this episode until I realized they had recycled the plot from an episode of "Law & Order: SVU" called "Crush". Where's the jurisprudence in that?

A little pick-me-up from "Desperate Housewives" (ABC, 9:00):
In a bit of role reversal, one of the twins gives Lynette and Tom the speech on sexual irresponsibility: "You two are so irresponsible. You should have been using birth control. (At Tom) You're in college. Do you know what the odds are now that you'll graduate? Like zero. (At Lynette) You, you have a new job; one that you'll have to quit once the baby comes. So I hope you're both happy. You just destroyed your future for a few minutes of pleasure."
Bree, after learning her lover Karl has a lover: "So Candace, what do you do for a living?"
Candace: "I'm a dancer".
Bree: "Oh, what kind? Jazz? Ballet? Lap?"

Sunday Snooze

Let the week begin! Tonight was a bit of a bore but there were some moments of glory, starting with ...

"The Amazing Race" (CBS, 8:00): This is my second-favorite reality show after "Survivor" and it was the only show tonight that showed any chops. It has everything I love about reality TV, minus the sleazy hook ups. And being a person who just got a passport two years ago, it's essentially a go-see-do list of places for novice travelers like me. Tonight, teams raced through Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam.

Why do people go on "The Amazing Race" to see what the next step in their relationship should be? Or to see if they should stay together? Or to see if they should buy a dog? It's one of the most high pressure situations a couple could put themselves in. How about seeing if you like his mother first? Team Annoying Idiots (engaged couple Lance and Keri) ran past every clue box at every stop, yet Lance tells us at every turn that they are a strong, smart team. Ha! Maybe if they were running the race against kindergartners. I'm rooting for Team Globetrotters (Big Easy and Flight Time) and Team Autism (Justin and Zev). Both work well together and have managed to keep a positive attitude so far. Pause it: Was anyone else immaturely snickering while watching the roadblock? They only had to take apart two VCRs (e-cycle!) to receive their next clue, but having the teammates standing there yelling "beat it hard" and "pull on it" made me laugh just a little.

The Globetrotters sprinted past Team Saving Ourselves for Marriage to come in first and win a trip to Aruba. I'm adding Vietnam to my list of go-see-do. Next week: One team loses their passports. Crossing my fingers it's Team Annoying Idiots.
Geography lesson: The Pit Stop was at the Reunification Palace, the place where the Vietnam War ended.

"Desperate Housewives" (ABC, 9:00): Did I miss the part last week about Julie telling Lynette she was possibly pregnant? I must have slept through that part, just like I did tonight during the last 15 minutes of the show. It was so boring I took a nap and had to rewind it and watch again. There were some cute moments: The men on the block turning into gossiping husbands and ganging up the new neighbors. OK, so maybe that was the only highlight. The police ended up taking new neighbor Danny into custody for strangling Julie. I know the Bolen family was brought in to spice up Wisteria Lane, but so far all their are serving up is dry storyline with a side of lackluster acting.
Pause it: FINALLY, a writer smart enough to show us that people don't just wake up with fresh breath and coiffed hair. Having Susan get up to comb her hair and pop a breath mint before awaking Mike, then making him eat one as well, was the only thing that made me laugh tonight.

"Army Wives" (Lifetime, 10:00): Fort Marshall was my last stop of the night, and it wasn't an exciting trip either. The ladies participated in a charity golf tournament and Denise's competitive side came out. Loser is not her best color. The only bone that had any meat on it was Jeremy's struggle to readjust since returning from Iraq. He was reunited with Lucky, the dog he rescued in Iraq, but was heartbroken to learn the pooch had been adopted by the LaBlanc family. He later gets into a drunken bar fight and storms out when his mom shows up to help. I don't think I like where this plot may be going, setting Jeremy up to possibly take his own life. But if they take it there it will prove the show's commitment to staying true to showing Army life at its finest ... and its worst. Next week is the season finale. What do you think will happen with Jeremy? Is there anyone in the military out there who can tell me what happens to the families when an Army base closes?