Another mundane Monday

It was a ho-hum night for TV. I can usually get a little bit of excitement from "Trauma" or at least find some whacked out idiot to laugh at on "I Want to Work for Diddy" but they both left me cold. Even the much-talked-about threesome on "Gossip Girl" was nothing more than three people kissing then waking up next to each other. Shame on you GG for getting that parent's group all up in arms. Here's a recap of what happened.

"Trauma" (NBC, 9:00): After a gunfight breaks out and an innocent restaurant patron is shot, Nancy and Glenn arrive on the scene. As they are loading the victim into the rig, the police show up with the apprehended suspect. Sergeant Lyons, a friend of Nancy's, proceeds to bash the perp's head in in front of a gang of witnesses. When Glenn and Nancy are called in to explain what happened, Nancy lies for the cop while Glenn's loose lips sink Sgt. Lyon's ship.

The only good thing about the show was the banter between Boone and fresh-out-the-closet Tyler. He's been dumped by his boyfriend and Boone tries to be the supportive friend. It was all very cute. To get under his skin, Tyler goes into naughty detail about the sexual aspects of being gay, telling Boone, "You haven't been touched 'til you've been touched by a doctor." Cut to Boone nearly vomiting. If NBC really is cancelling this show the last few episodes better be good. It's the least they could do after letting me get invested in a show before snatching it away.

"Lie to Me" (FOX, 9:00): Agent Reynolds's (Mekhi Phifer) past comes back to haunt him when it's revealed he spent two years deep undercover as a criminal. Apparently he became addicted to the lifestyle (and cocaine) and ends up killing a man. Nothing much to see here except a lot of close-ups of an angry Mekhi Phifer. The one thing that made this show interesting is the one thing they hardly do anymore: show famous faces conveying the same emotions that they are trying to decipher. They only gave us one example tonight - defiance - and we get Bill O'Reilly and Saddam Hussein.

Question: Do you think Dr. House and Cal Lightman could be related? They have the same surly look and pompous attitudes. I'm calling FOX to see if they can work in a crossover.

"I Want to Work for Diddy" (VH1, 10:00): The teams must design an ad that embodies the new Sean John logo (which is really just the old logo with a black box behind it). Downtown wins again after Uptown hands in a tacky picture that was nothing but fur and crotch. The loss falls on Nick's shoulders, who had crowned himself King of All-Knowing and he's called down to the carpet, taking loud-mouth Ivory with him. But his self-inflated ego was no match for Ivory and Nick was fired. Thank god cause his attitude made me want to punch him dead in the nose.

Oh yeah, Poprah (Poor man's Oprah) from last season is back. I don't know what it is about VH1 reality shows, but I think voice decibel must be a question on the application. Must every person on this show speak as if they are trying to make a deaf person hear? Take it down a notch people. You're wearing a microphone.