Take a knee

I know I have been so out of the loop on blogging, but I just had to chime in on one of THE best episodes of "Friday Night Lights" (NBC, 8:00) EVER.

"FNL" is already one of the most underrated shows on television and it pains me to think how many people miss out on the goodness that is Dillon, Texas. I have gone through plenty of "favorite shows" during my years of TV watching, but there has never been a show that touches me as deeply as "Friday Night Lights". If you aren't watching it then shame on you. I have Seasons 1-3 if you need to borrow them. In this episode, "The Son", Matt learns that his father died in combat in Iraq, and he's left to shoulder the burden of planning the funeral of a man he barely knew. Pause it: As soon as I saw the Casualty Assistance Officer and Grandma Saracen crying I ran to grab my tissues.

When news spreads around Dillon that Matt's dad was killed, the Taylors rally around the former football star in support. Julie (along with best friend Landry) try to help him through his grief. Tami steps in to help with funeral arrangements and Coach Taylor gives him a shoulder to cry on. With so much attention spent on Matt's grandma, I forgot he even had a father. I remember the episode in Season 1, when his dad shows up and Matt thinks he's there to stay. But it turns out his dad had reenlisted for the fourth time and was leaving Matt to care for his aging grandmother. That's a heavy load to carry for a high school junior. Back then it was obvious that Matt looked at Coach Taylor as a father-figure, so it was even more poignant when he walks Matt home after he reveals how much he resented his own dad.

I've said it before: Anything I see pertaining to the military these days make me tear up immediately. My friend's brother recently returned from Iraq, so watching this episode where there was a military funeral with a 21-gun salute just reminds you how lucky these men are who are get to come home to their loved ones. The Watch Party had completely dissolved into a ball of tears by the time the funeral was over. When Matt grabbed the shovel and began burying his father, I was a complete mess. It wasn't just tears streaming, it was to the point of almost hyperventilating. I haven't been this moved by a show since ... I don't know when I've been this moved by a show!!

In true "Friday Night Lights" form, we get reminders of what it's like to be from a small town and how close-knit the residents of Dillon, Texas are. Having Lyla return for the funeral and seeing Coach Taylor watch Smash play in a televised football game are pleasant little surprises that we get from the writers. It was also very moving to see Tim Riggins, his brother and Landry getting Matt drunk then taking him to the funeral home to see his dad's body, even after the parlor director advised him it was a bad idea. These people care about each other, and I care about them.

Most of the characters on "FNL" undergo some sort of transformation. Tyra went from school tramp to college student. Smash went from arrogant football star to a humble one. And Lyla Garrity went from cheerleader captain to slut to religious zealot back to slut then college co-ed. I think Matt is the only person who hasn't changed. Yes, he was a popular football star, but underneath he has remained the same loving, insecure boy we met four seasons ago. But GEEZ! Can we let up on the guy for a second? Bad things just keep happening to Matt Saracen. It sucks to never see him catch a break. He gave up art school in Chicago to stay with his girlfriend, Julie, only to find out she's applying to colleges all over the country. Now he works at a pizza place and attends a local junior college. Could it get any worse for Matt? Let's just hope they send his character away with a happy ending.

Around the town

• Vince and Luke are still at each other's throats. While the team is starting to turn around, these two are still antagonizing one another. A stolen wallet leads to a brawl in the street which leads to the boys getting arrested and Coach Taylor bailing them out. Pause it: So funny to see Vince handing Luke his wallet back as they pass the streets 5th and Shady.
• JD McCoy is turning into such a prick. I can't believe I was rooting for him last season.
• Vince is named Conference Player of the Week and part of the award is speaking to little kids. His speech to them: "Don't panic, stay cool and get paid." Enough said!
• When did Landry become such a lady's man? The kiss he planted on Jess didn't come from the same guy who was crushing on Tyra for two years before making a move on her. Way to go Landry!

This entry was originally posted in December 2009, after watching it on DirecTV.

Say hello

Of course with the return of "Glee" I wanted to spend time really talking about the first fresh episode of the year, but with my new Wednesday work schedule, I'm racing the sun to get in bed. Here's a quick recap:

"Glee" (FOX, 9:28): The show sort of dropped the ball on the timeline aspect. Rachel and Finn are a couple now? And it's so serious, she made him a relationship calendar. Pause it: Rachel is totally one of my favorite characters, but that calendar idea was super scary. Seems like Finn didn't get the memo that they are dating and starts to question if he still has feelings for Quinn.

Mr. Schue warns the glee club about getting too complacent since winning sectionals. He challenges the group to reinvent themselves, starting with each one of them performing a song with "hello" in the title. Meanwhile, Coach Sue has blackmailed the school principal to get her job back as leader of the Cheerios and is still intent on taking down the glee club. Her first goal is to make Rachel so distraught over losing Finn that she quits the club. She enlists glee club Cheerios Brittany and Santana to seduce Finn away from Rachel.

Finn does end up dumping Rachel, but she doesn't take it lying down. She calls him out on his insecurities and ends up meeting (and falling for) Jessie St. James, the lead vocalist for a competing choir. The Finn, Kurt, Mercedes and Artie all try to warn Rachel that Jessie is probably playing her. They even threaten to kick her out of the club if she doesn't stop seeing him. She confronts Jessie about his motives, but they agree to continue seeing each other in secret.

I'm so happy "Glee" is back and there were numerous laugh-out-loud moments, but it's like FOX treated this as a throw-away episode in preparation for the big Madonna-themed show next week. I know getting access to her catalog is a big deal, but the promos are overkill. Now that "Glee" has become a phenomenon, I hope it doesn't lose it's edge.

Funny lines:

• Finn: "Sometimes I wish I could be more like Coach Tanaka. He pulled a Jessica Simpson - you know, lost his fiancé, gained 40 pounds, stopped showering, and everyone acts like that is totally normal."
• Coach Sue after chopping of a male student's long hair: "I'm going to donate this to the victims of Hurricane Katrina. They can use it to plug the holes in their trailers.
• Mr. Schue trying to inspire the group: "What do you guys say when you answer the phone?" Mercedes: "What up?" Artie: "Who this be?" Kurt: "No, she's dead. This is her son."
• Santana dissing Rachel's outfit to Brittany: "She looked like Pippy Longstocking, except Israeli."
  

Featured songs:
"Hello, I Love You" - The Doors
"Gives You Hell" - All American Rejects
"Hello" - Lionel Ritchie
"Highway to Hell" - AC/DC
"Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love" - A Chorus Line
"Hello, Goodbye" - The Beatles

CHANNEL SURFING

• "Lost" (ABC, 9:00): Things we learned tonight: Michael is stuck on the island because he killed Libby and the whispering voices from the jungle are other spirits who can't move on. And that's about as much as my brain could follow.
• Suze Orman was on "The Biggest Loser" (NBC, 8:00) to guide the contestants to "financial health". She even predicted that Sunshine would win the season based on her FICO score. I'm sure that debt was supposed to be a metaphor for debt, but it felt more like a glorified promo for CNBC. Anyway, it was a night of big prizes as Michael wins $1,000 in a balancing competition, and Andrea and O'Neal both win cars. O'Neal promptly hands his key over to daughter Sunshine.At the weigh-in, Andrea and Sam (who didn't lose any weight at all) fall below the yellow line, but he manages to keep his spot on the ranch. Andrea is sent home in her new car. These people claim they aren't playing the game, but keeping around the guy who has lost all the weight he's going to lose is obviously game play.
  

After these messages: Has anyone out there tried "Hip Hop Abs?" My stomach does not look like that after I dance. It's more like a sweaty, dented keg. Shruggsies.

Resa's Rundown

I don't even know where to start. I really have no excuse for not blogging this week other than the fact that my work schedule has changed and I no longer have the time or energy to blog every night. I told myself that if I ever felt like this blog was keeping me from enjoying television then I wouldn't write. I'm not there yet, but sometimes I just want to enjoy mindless entertainment without the pressure of keeping notes. With that being said, I'll try to touch on some highlights from this week.

"Trauma" (NBC, Mon., 9:00): Once again, Nancy goes rogue and performs a risky procedure in the field. But this time it costs a young cheerleader her mobility when she's paralyzed from the neck down. Nancy's mentor and wannabe dad Joe suffers the consequences - he's fired as chief of surgery from the hospital after Nancy's real dad throws him under the bus.

"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, Tues., 8:00): I was so angry when Melissa, left, won her way back into the game last week, but I couldn't have been any more happy when she got her comeuppance for the third time! For the challenge, the first person to lose 2 percent of their body fat wins immunity. Melissa, the smallest player in the game, only needs to lose 4 lbs to win. But if they push the button to weigh in and miss their target, they are out of the competition. Bob warns Melissa not to lose sight of why she's on the ranch, but all she can focus on is game play. Sam ends up winning the challenge, dropping 10 lbs. in 4 days. After the rest of the contestants gang up on her during a swimming challenge, Melissa loses her second chance at immunity, and gets a one-pound disadvantage at the weigh in. She falls below the yellow line with Andrea and in her last ditch effort to stay in the game, tries to persuade them to keep her in the game because they can all beat her. It was a compelling argument but the losers didn't fall for it. They'd rather keep a harmonious house than have her negative, game-play energy infecting the house.

"The Good Wife" (CBS. Tues., 10:00): The show spins a different web as they tell the story from the perspective of the jury when a college student is accused of killing her roommate. I've been called for jury duty, but I've never served. This episode seemed like a very realistic portrayal of what might go down behind the closed doors of a deliberation room. Sadly, the accused girl copped a plea deal - 10 years for manslaughter - right before the jury came back to say she was found not guilty.

"Parenthood" (NBC, Tues., 10:00): The show got off to a slow start, but it's earned a spot on my do-not-miss list. Jason Katims, who serves as producer on one of my favorite shows ("Friday Night Lights") has definitely put his stamp on "Parenthood". It's poignant, it's raw and it's funny. "FNL" alum Minka Kelly guest stars as autistic Max's behavioral aide, Gaby. She's there to help the family cope with his asperger syndrome and mom Kristina feels the sting when Gaby is able to get Max to do things she's never been able to. Kristina's constant worry is also puts a strain on her marriage after she starts faking the big O during sex. Elsewhere, Crosby finally tells his parents that he's the father of a five-year-old boy and Sarah decides to go out with Amber's English teacher. I like this show because the family dynamic is so touching. It's nice to see a family on TV that actually loves and respects one another. If you haven't tuned in, do it soon before NBC pulls the plug on another great drama.

"South Park" (Comedy Central, Wed., 9:00): This had to be one of THE funniest (and true) episodes of all time! This spoof on the Facebook phenomenon has Kyle up in arms after his friends unfriend him because he friends a kid who has no friends. (Did you get that?) The whole thing just reinforces the idea that social networking is more about the networking part than it is about the social aspect. Here's a snippet from the show. The full episode can be viewed by clicking here.



"Ugly Betty" (ABC, Wed., 10:00): It's Hilda's wedding day and Betty finds herself with old flame Henry as her +1 after she drunk dials him during her trip to Paris. He shows up with his kid in tow and announces that he's moving back to New York just as Betty is offered a job running her own magazine in Paris. She accepts the position, setting up next week's series finale. Also, Justin comes out of the closet at the wedding reception, and Daniel realizes he has feelings for Betty. It's going to be a sad goodbye. *Single tear falling*

It hurts

Late posting again. We can start calling it my Hump Day Hangover. Too bad it's from lack of sleep and not libations. Here's what happened last night:

"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, Tues., 8:00): I know I've said this numerous times, but it annoys me to no end that this show is freakin' 2 hours long!!! It's one of the main reasons why I don't feel like blogging at the end of the night. Pause it: The other reasons range from talking on the phone to my bestie in Dallas to going into a diabetic coma from eating junk food during the show. This is supposed to be a show about weight loss and "Loser" could stand to shed about 60 minutes.

For the reward challenge, the teams go head-to-head in a game of trivia about food and nutrition. The winning team gets a spa day while the losers must clean the kitchen and the gym. Stephanie thinks the Black team has the win on lock since the Blue team is all brawn and no brains. Think again, Steph! The Blue team prevails, leaving the Black team sulking and demoralized. It was pretty ironic that the mostly male Blue team wins a trip to the spa and the women folk are made to clean house.

At the immunity challenge, it's another advantage for the Black team with a cooking competition. The teams must make an appetizer, an entree and a dessert using only 12 ingredients in 30 minutes. Celebrity chef Curtis Stone is the guest judge. Pause it: OK, last week the show stole a page out of the "Survivor" playbook. This week it's "Top Chef". Copycat much? The winning team gets a five-pound advantage at the next weigh-in. The Black team is off to a great start with a low-calorie shrimp ceviche, but their salmon with a side of wild rice entree is over 500 calories compared to the Blue's 290 overcooked pork tenderloin. The Black team wins and has some newfound confidence going into the last-chance workout.

At the weigh-in, the Black team loses a combined total of 30 pounds, but Stephanie and Sherry both put up small numbers. The Blue team drops nine after nine on the scale, and Mike - who left the ranch to tend to his ailing grandmother - loses 11 pounds while traveling. He's lost 126 pounds in his nine weeks on the ranch. It's another hit for the Black team as Blue smashes their hopes of a win. They send Sherry home, breaking up the last mother/kid team on campus.

Plug of the night: Milk - it does a body good and apparently, it's profitable for NBC. Go figure.

Last chance rant: Does anyone know where Jillian got her psychology degree? I mean, she's counseling these contestants like she's Dr. Phil or something. And we all know he's, like, a real doctor.

"16 & Pregnant" (MTV, Tues., 10:00): This episode should've been called "16 & Forced Into an Unwanted Choice". I felt so bad for Lori, an adopted teen whose parents want her to give her baby up for adoption. Pause it: I spent the first 15 minutes of the show laughing at the fact that Lori attends an all-girls Catholic school and winds up in the family way. I kept picturing a pregnant nun. But after watching Lori's mom hound her about giving her child away, I really just wanted to give her a hug. Mom wouldn't even let Lori's friends throw her a baby shower telling her, "I just don't see anything to celebrate." She goes on to say that bringing a baby into the house would be a mistake. Being an adopted child, Lori wants to keep her baby because she doesn't have any biological ties of her own.

Cory, Lori's ex-boyfriend and baby daddy, offers to let her move in with him and his (female) roommate. Unfortunately, Cory fails to ask his roommate if she was OK with having a newborn baby living in the next room. With no where else to turn, Lori decides that an open adoption is her only option.

I know that having a baby as a teen is not ideal, but having a mom forcing you into a decision like that is tough. I'm sure mom thought she was doing the right thing for both Lori and the baby, but a little support would've been nice. The episode wasn't as gut-wrenching as last season's emotional goodbye between Catelyn, Tyler and baby Carly, but it was still hard to watch.

CHANNEL SURFING

• "Lost" (ABC, Tues., 9:00): In Sawyer's flash sideways, he's a detective for the LAPD and Miles is his partner. Talk about a parallel universe ... going from a con man to a cop.
• On "The Good Wife" (CBS, Tues., 10:00), Peter uses a black clergy to reach out to the African American community after his poll numbers dip among the sistas. Later, Alicia finds him praying with a reverend in his bedroom. At least he was doing something holy in there for a change.

Keep your heroes close

How excited am I to learn that On Demand now features shows from NBC. The network used to charge to watch their shows, but now you can see "The Office", "Trauma" and "The Marriage Ref" within hours after they air. I guess that makes up for the whole Leno/Conan debacle. Now, check out what happened on ...

"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): Wow! The Heroes really are turning out to be some of the most conniving players to ever walk the beaches of Samoa! Gone is that good-guy act that led scores of "Survivor" fans to vote these castaways back on the islands. It's been replaced with double-talk and backstabbing, with J.T. leading the pack.

After voting off Cirie at Tribal Council, Colby calls J.T. his hero for voting with him and Tom. J.T. apologizes for his tricky move, but says his vote was cast for the good of the team, not for personal reasons. He swears to Amanda that he would never turn on her, but she claims she can see right through him. "If he wants to play this game, game on. Bring it on," she challenges. Over on the Villains' beach, Coach is leading his tribe in a session of "Dragon Slayer Chi" - a mixture of chanting, inflated ego and made up yoga movements. Everyone except Russell is participating. He's out looking for the hidden immunity idol, which he finds after two days of digging.

Things get more than a little heated at the Reward Challenge. It's a game of foot-dodge-basketball and the prize is a chocolate feast. Pause it: After not having any real food except fish and chicken for 10 days, eating pounds of chocolate doesn't sound appealing at all. (Unless I get to lick it off of James's abs). Jeff Probst offers the tribes a sample of the candy to whet their appetites, but the Heroes sternly refuse. Colby dismisses the plate and tells Probst he's ready to get to the competition. "I got the message, brother. We'll go when I'm ready!" he snaps at Colby. Rupert explains that they want to send the message that they are focused. They should've just eaten the chocolate. At the start of the challenge, James injures his knee and the medics get called in to assist him. He's pulled out of the game after he's unable to walk around on it. The battle continues to get rough as B-Rob and J.T. duke it out then later turns into a full-out brawl after J.T. body slams Coach and Rupert accidentally lobs Jerri into a pole. It looked like a scene out of WWE. The score is now tied and Jerri scores the final point, giving the Villains yet another win. James is given a splint for his knee and the Villains head off to enjoy their feast. Pause it: Can you really say they enjoyed it when most of them ended up with sugar headaches?

While his other teammates are swimming, Russell confides in Parvati that he's found the hidden idol. "Grab on to these coattails!" he tells her. "I don't ride coattails, baby," she replies. Russell brings Coach into his inner circle and being the gullible idiot that he is, bows down to "King Russell" and allows him to "knight" him. Coach says that he'd love to stay loyal to B-Rob, but appreciates Russell's trust in him.

Amanda is sulking around the Heroes' beach, weighing her options if James is taken out of the game. She really wants James to stay because he looks out for her. Rewind: In Cirie's exit interview with TV Guide, she reveals her disappointment in Amanda's game, saying she can't think for herself. Without Cirie or Parvati calling the shots, Amanda is as lost as the prodigal son. Lucky for her, James comes limping back to camp with his knee wrapped in bandages. The medics can't explain what's wrong with him and he does his best to convince the tribe he's fine. He says he's going to "make some lemonade out of his lemon knee." Candice isn't buying it calling James "dead weight."

At the Immunity Challenge, the castaways play a blind puzzle game where everyone on the course is blindfolded while one player sits on a perch calling out directions. Colby, B-Rob, Rupert and Jerri have all played this game before. James is the caller for the Heroes, Jerri for the Villains. James does a great job yelling out directions. The Heroes grab their puzzle pieces quickly and open up a huge lead over the Villains. But once again, the Heroes fail at the putting the puzzle together and the Villains win their 4th Immunity Challenge. Let the Heroes' finger pointing begin.

Upon return to camp, J.T. points out that it's established that the Villains "can beat them at everything except Sumo wrestling." James claims that Tom isn't contributing to the team and moves to get him voted out. Candice adamantly objects and thinks voting off James is their best bet. Rewind: J.T.'s game play is way more sneaky than it was the first time around and I'm not sure if I like it. What I loved about him in his season was that he was a down-home country boy with a friendly smile and southern charm. Now he looks and sounds like a used-car salesman. J.T. is playing both sides and all the tribe members are looking for his vote even though his loyalty is in question. "He's clearly just playing the hand that suits him today," Colby says.

At Tribal Council, Probst needles James: "My niece could beat you in a race right now." "No, she can't," James deadpans. Eventually, fingers start to point in Tom's direction after Rupert and James say Tom doesn't like to follow. Tom bites back by saying James's voting strategy is to shut up and do what he's told. James then challenges the tribe to vote him out if they think they can win with Tom. "We'll still be cool," he promises. After the final vote, it's mass over class as Tom torch is snuffed, proving James is more valuable with a bum leg t

I noticed that Candice ended up voting for Tom. I assume she was smart enough to realize she'd be next if she voted with Colby and Tom.

THE SCORECARD

CHANNEL SURFING

• "The Office" (NBC, 9:00): Jim returns from paternity leave to find that Dwight has converted his workstation into a "megadesk" - a huge desk built out of Jim, Pam and his desk. Jim returns the favor by building "quad desk", three (yes, three) desks stacked like a pyramid. Michael tries to impress Jo, the new owner of Dunder Mifflin, but it's warehouse worker Darrell who catches her eye with a fresh idea and is given his own office next to Michael's. I wonder if that means we'll get to see more of Darrell. I love the way he interacts with Michael.
• "Project Runway" (Lifetime, 10:00): The designers get to create a look based on the elements - earth, water, air and fire - that also incorporated a hairstyle to match. Jonathan wins with his interpretation of air through laughter. I understood his concept, but I didn't think the look was all that. Ben and Amy, one of my favorites, end up in the bottom two - both for bad construction. Amy has made some really great clothes but the outfit she came up with tonight was so strange that even Lady Gaga would call it weird. Ultimately, the judges forgave her "cat in a baby sling" garment and sent Ben packing for his ill-constructed pantsuit.
• On "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC, 9:00), Callie thinks she's finally in a stable relationship then learns that her pediatrician girlfriend doesn't want to have children. A pediatrician who doesn't want kids? How much does she hate her job?
  

Stacked, and not in a good way

I totally fell asleep during "American Idol" which led to me missing most of "Lost," so I have no comment on the show yet. I'll have to watch it later online. Here's a rundown of Tuesday night:

"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, 8:00): Previously on "Loser", the Orange team's Cheryl and Darrell from the Black team fell below the yellow line and had to fight to stay in the game by winning an elimination challenge. After nine minutes of balancing a torch on their heads, Darrell loses his balance and is sent packing. Now it's an individual game as the teams go Blue vs. Black.

The winner of the dreaded temptation challenge gets to pick the teams and choose the trainers. They also get to assign immunity to themselves or another contestant. Only two people step up to play - Andrea, the remaining Black team member and Michael, left, the last member of the White team. The challenge is a memory game where the participants are looking for the matching squares holding the golden "Choose Teams" ticket. Other squares hold delectable sweets and fruit. For every match they miss, they must eat a 100-calorie cookie. If they find two matching food items, the challenger has to eat it. Pause it: I love me some dessert, especially ice cream slathered on top of chocolate cake. But to be forced to eat sweets like that after munching on lettuce and Extra sugar-free gum for seven weeks, I'd be hurling into the nearest bucket.

Andrea is on a roll finding matches for a blueberry muffin (360 cal.), a pretzel (340 cal.) and a fruit pie (480 cal.). Michael looks damn near purple in the face by the time he's made to choke down a 160-calorie glazed doughnut. Andrea finally finds a golden ticket, but can't find the match. By this time, Michael has consumed over 2300 calories, but luckily he finds the other ticket and wins the challenge. He divides the teams into weak vs. strong, stacking trainer Bob's Blue team with mostly men and giving Jillian the players who put up smaller numbers. Koli is the only male on the underdog Black team. But in a surprise move, Michael gives immunity to O'Neal. It's a smart move, but very calculated: O'Neal will be assigned to the team that loses the weigh-in. He'll either join his daughter's strong team or be forced to join the weaker Black one. Rewind: I've been waiting for a moment like this, where someone finally plays this game like it's a game. It was mean for Mike to stack the Blue team the way he did, but I wouldn't call it a bad move.

At the weigh-in, Michael beats Rudy's record for the fastest to lose 100 lbs. on the ranch after he drops 15 lbs. It looks like Blue is going to run circles around Black until Lance and Miggy don't pull their weight. Pause it: Miggy is on the wrong reality show. She's more of a "Dr. Drew" slash "Intervention" type of gal. It would serve her well to find a show that could help her with those anger-management issues. Her fits of rage scare me. The Black team needs to lose more than six pounds apiece to win. They get off to a rocky start but Ashley drops 10 lbs, giving them the last push to beat the Blue. Pause it: So much for Mike's plan not being a bad move. Win some, lose some ... sucks that they lost the one that counts.

With Michael losing the most weight for his team, he wins immunity and the vote comes down to Miggy and Lance, who had the lowest percentages of weight loss. Miggy is voted out and surprisingly, exits quietly.

Plug of the night: Jillian forces the Black team to snack on LaraBars, a gluten-free energy bar.

"16 and Pregnant" (MTV, 10:00):15-year-old Valerie is an adopted teen from Pennsylvania. The ninth grader is pregnant with a baby girl by Matt, a guy with a shoddy employment record (and bad beatboxing skills). Valerie used to skip school to spend the day with Matt and in doing so, got suspended from high school for truancy. Mom Janice forces her to be home schooled, much to Valerie's dismay.

We could talk about how big of a jerk Matt is or how much support Val's parents, who have 10 adopted kids, give her. But the real story lies in her complicated birth. Valerie's due date comes and goes and she delivers baby girl Nevaeh (heaven spelled backwards) a week late. By this time the baby has already had a bowel movement and doctors suspect the baby may have ingested her own waste. The baby is airlifted to a bigger hospital when she takes a turn for the worse, but the Nevaeh is fine.

"16 and Pregnant" usually gives us the standard girl-meets-boy, girls-sleeps-with-boy, girl-gets-pregnant story. But this time they added the girl-gives-birth-to-ailing-baby, which is a real situation that most expectant teens don't think about. Not all deliveries are as smooth as they are made out to be on this show and Valerie's story proves that no matter how much the moms think they are ready for the baby, there's nothing that can prepare them for a kid who may have medical issues.

CHANNEL SURFING

• Funniest line of the night was from "The Good Wife" (CBS, 10:00). Peter's "reputation manager" Kya to Eli Gold, the newest member of Peter's team: "What are you doing?" when she sees him unbuttoning his trousers. "Lower my pants so you can kiss my ass."
• The series premiere of "Parenthood" (NBC, 10:00) made me not want kids anytime soon. It also made me really dislike Lauren Graham.
  

Let the games begin

The Olympics start Friday and NBC is not skimping on the Oly-themed shows. But we'll get to that later. I need a minute to finish gagging on all their "inspirational motivation". VOMITING!

"Lost" (ABC, 9:00): I finally figured out what they are doing this season. Aside from trying to give me a brain aneurysm, the writers are using a storytelling tactic called "flash-sideways". It's a season of "what ifs" vs. "what is" and the stories run parallel. Tonight's episode peel back the many layers of Kate and reveal how she and Claire would have crossed paths off the island.

After breaking free from the federal agent, Kate hijacks a cab with Claire in the backseat. Pause it: Obviously they are still in 2004 because there is no way a woman in handcuffs would get past airport security. *Montage of the shoe bomber, the underwear bomber and me sneaking my extra ounces of liquid onto the plane* On second thought ...

Ever since Claire disappeared on the island, Kate has been baby Aaron's second mom. After they were rescued, she passed him off as her own and raised him until they returned to the island. In the present, Claire was in Los Angeles to give her baby up for adoption but the couple backed out of the deal. She goes into labor and it's Kate who's by her side when she gives birth, just like she was on the island. Rewind: Did you catch that the man who delivered her baby, Dr. Goodspeed, was actually Ethan Rom? He's the man that kidnapped Claire on the island. Creepy!

I'm enjoying how the show is tying in how the characters would've still been connected even if Flight 815 hadn't crashed. It's also giving us a glimpse of how their lives would've been reshaped. In March, we'll get to see episodes centered around Ben (Mar. 9), Sawyer (Mar. 16) and Sun/Jin (Mar. 30). Executive producer Carlton Cuse urges viewer to forget about everything you've learned from previous seasons' flashbacks. "All that matters now are the flash-sideways stories," he says.

"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, 8:00): The teams head to the Olympic Training Center in Colorado to get inspiration from some of the country's top athletes. The teams move from pairs to individuals with two people getting eliminated this week. The person who falls below the red line goes home automatically and the two people below the yellow line are put to an elimination vote.

We already know that NBC is airing the Olympics. Do we really need to be subjected to an Olympic-themed episode of "Biggest Loser"? The only thing worth caring about was that hot potato figure skater. His name is not important. Just believe me when I say I'll be leading a one woman hotness parade for him during the pairs figure skating competition. He was smokin'!

At the weigh-in, the Red Team's Melissa gains a pound and is automatically sent home. Bye Bye. See ya! Don't let the door hit cha! I haven't disliked a contestant this much since Heba from a few seasons ago. Orange Team's Cheryl and Darrell from the Black Team fall below the yellow line and get a chance to fight to stay in an elimination challenge. They must keep their "Olympic torch" lit in a weird balancing act. Really? The results? To be continued.

Last chance rant: NBC, your pockets are showing! The network must be really hard up for money with all the freaking product placement ads on this show. If Bob tells me one more time to chew Extra Sugar-free gum I'm going to mash his face into my armpit and continue to eat my cake and ice cream. And how much do I hate Allison Sweeney as the host of this show? She's completely useless.

CHANNEL SURFING
Ellen's comic relief kept the mood light as the judges crushed the dreams of instant fame seekers on "American Idol" (FOX, 8:00). "You frightened me! Sexy and scary ... it's a fine line," she tells the obnoxious Skiiboski. I really wanted to see small town girl Vanessa Wolfe (of aeroplane fame) to make it through, but her nerves got the best of her. Best performance of the night was Janell Wheeler singing "American Boy" on acoustic guitar.

After these messages: Toyota is eating a big helping of humble pie, kind of like those Dominos Pizza commercials where they admit their crusts taste like cardboard, except Toyota's mistake might kill you ... I absolutely LOVE the Volkswagon "slugbug color" commersh. It was my favorite Super Bowl ad.

Second place is still losing

I'm at least 5 hours behind on my TV watching, so if you miss talking about your favorite shows, feel free to drop me a line. While everyone else is watch the Super Bowl, I'll be watching "24" and "Make It or Break It" online.

"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, 9:00): I can't believe "Loser" had the nerve to go head-to-head against "Lost". Thankfully I was taping "Lost", but that meant sitting through 2 hours of this overblown show. No fast forwarding tonight. Sad face.

The Blue and Yellow teams returned to the ranch to see which pair had lost the most weight after 30 days. The team who wins not only gets immunity, but also has the only vote at this week's elimination. Before the weigh-in, the Blue and Yellow are treated to a last chance workout. Bob calls it a "rite of passage," but it looked like aerobic torture to me. I work out with a trainer and let me tell you - people who do that must have some sort of "mean gene". (Sorry, Dan!) The Blue team loses a combined total of 63 lbs., but the Yellow team smashes them by losing 76 with O'neal losing 51 lbs. of it.

Pause it: This show is so freakin' long and repetitive. I ran to Metropolitan Market to get my free pineapple. When I got back I learned that Jillian had clearly gotten her therapist license since she was going around digging into everyone's psyche. Michael, the lone member of the White team had won immunity and the Pink team had earned a two-pound disadvantage. The saddest part was Metropolitan Market was out of free pineapples.

At the final weigh-in, Michael is on par to break the record for losing 100 lbs. the fastest. He's got 17 more to go to best Rudy from last season. Pink overcame their two-pound deficit by pulling a good number. The Red team was slowly sliding towards that dreaded yellow line and for a second I thought they were going to reap what they had sowed for throwing the first two weigh-ins. But it was John, the last member of the Brown team twins, who got sent home. I really wanted him to make it to makeover week just so I could see what his neck looked like without that beard on it. Thank goodness he had shaved it in the "where-are-they-now" clip.

Last chance rant: Miggy said she had an appendectomy, but it seemed like she went in for a hang nail. Who works out the day after surgery?

CHANNEL SURFING
Some tidbits I learned from the "Teen Mom Reunion" (MTV, 10:00): In the words of Carrie Bradshaw from "Sex and the City," Maci and Ryan are "so over they need a new word for over." Ryan said he sees his son Bentley as an obligation and if Maci wasn't the mother of his child he would never speak to her again. RUDE! ... Amber and Gary got back together and he moved into her apartment. Amber said there's a chance she may be pregnant again and I have to say, she was looking a little preggers in the face ... Catelynn and Tyler are putting off marriage until after college. Baby Carly's adoptive parents sent a letter and pictures and we are able to see her first Christmas and christening. Very touching. ... Farrah is still Farrah and defiant until the end. I was feeling a little sympathy for her at first, but once her mother took the stage with her, she reverted back to her old b!&chy self. No word on the outcome of her mother getting arrested for allegedly choking her.

"American Idol" (FOX, 8:00): The audition stage is almost over and Denver was the next to last stop. The talent turned out in droves and 26 people made it through to Hollywood.

After these messages: I'm loving the new Pemco commercials with the "you go, no you go" guy and the "goat renter" guy. They really hit the Seattle stereotypes right on the head.

Please, pass the chips ... from your shoulder

First off, let's welcome new follower Cedric to the Watch Party! Yay! When I hit 10 I'll know I've made it. Pull up a chair Ced! No hogging the remote.

"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, Tues., 8:00): I don't know what it is about this show that makes me want to grab a bag of Doritos. Or popcorn. Or pizza. I used to work out during the commercial breaks by doing jumping jacks or fast walking around my living room. Pause it: My downstairs neighbors did not like this. But the heavier the contestants get, the less motivated I am. I say to myself, "Well at least I'm not that big." Sad, but true.

"Loser" checks in on the Blue and Yellow teams ... you remember them don't you? The sad sacks who were sent home before they even got to unpack. The teams are halfway through their 30-day stint at home, both trying to lose weight to come back to the ranch.

Now maybe someone can help me figure this out. People come on this show because they can't lose the weight by themselves at home. Then when they are forced to earn a spot on the ranch, they go home and drop 10, 20, 30 lbs. I'm no gym rat by any means, and only a handful of things annoy me more than people who say they like to workout. But why the motivation now? Is it the money? Being on TV? Screw the ranch! If it were me, I'd find more pride in being able to lose the weight on my own. Pause it: For those of you who are about to jump down my throat, let me say that I do have a gym membership and I work with a personal trainer (Hi Dan!) But it take a HUGE effort to drag out of bed and go to the gym every other day. Hence, the personal trainer. It's all about accountability. Hey, if it affects my wallet, it affects my weight. But enough about my fat rolls ...

The teams were divided into students and teachers. The teachers would workout with Jillian and Bob then would have to share their knowledge with the students. Only the students' weight loss would count at the weigh in. Pink team wins the temptation challenge and gets to determine the student/teacher match-ups. Green team's Migdalia immediately gets angry with being made the teacher because she knew it was her week to shine on the scale. During the workout, she completely shuts down and walks out on Jillian, threatening to quit the show. Pause it: I was never able to really figure out what Migdalia's problem was, but she was extremely annoying. She eventually said Jillian made her angry by calling her out on her parenting skills. I knew she wasn't going anywhere, but kudos to her for finding a way to not finish her workout by throwing a tantrum. (I've done that with my trainer, too except I threaten to vomit then go and lay down on a locker-room bench for 10 minutes. Sorry, Dan! My arms were hurting!)

At the weigh-in, Gray team has immunity and the choice to switch one team's student/teacher pairing. Instead of using White team's Maria's weight, they opted to make Michael's count after watching him piss around in the gym all week and not give 100% in his workouts. Their switch paid off and White team fell below the yellow line. Maria took the bullet and asked players to keep her son - and heaviest contestant ever - in the game.

Looks like more fireworks next week! With a quick push of the pause button I was able to see that Melissa will drop 28 lbs. next week. Do you think the Red Team is throwing the weigh-ins for a big payoff like this? Or was Melissa really not putting in work? I love it when the trainers go all renegade on the losers! Especially Bob!

I'm going to introduce a new segment to "Biggest Loser" recaps. We'll call it "Plug of the Night". With all the product placements, it's anyone's guess how there's not a big Brita logo in the corner of the TV screen instead of NBC's peacock. Tonight's winner is Walgreens. "What am I going to use to ice my knee when I'm at home," wonders John. Hmmm, I don't know ... maybe a pack of ice. Did we really need to know that Walgreens makes little bags with Velcro to put your ice cubes in? I'm just sayin'.

CHANNEL SURFING
Tune in next Tuesday for the season finale of "Teen Mom" (MTV, 10:00) where Tyler will pop the question to Catelynn and Maci makes a decision about her and Ryan's future. MTV is also coming back with a second season of "16 and Pregnant". The show will follow the lives of 10 new girls as they struggle with the reality of teen pregnancy. You won't want to miss it. Premieres February 16.

Random

Just some quick thoughts on "Law & Order: SVU" (NBC, Wed., 10:00). I know that HIV/AIDS is no laughing matter, but some of the comments Benson and Stabler were making had me snickering throughout the episode.

Unless you're a fan of R&B or Pop music, you probably missed the reference to the hit song "Birthday Sex". Hearing Stabler read the lyrics from a text message was almost as funny as hearing William Shatner reading from Levi Johnston's Twitter feed. But it didn't stop there. What about all the innuendo about male body parts? The guy's screen name was "Big Pete" ... you know, because his character's name was ... Peter ... and he was infecting women with HIV. (Wait for it ... wait for it...I can see the wires connecting!) I can't repeat them all on this semi-kid friendly blog, but trust me - they were funny! And let's not pass by the cautionary tale of how men can find women to prey on via the social networking web site "Faceunion". Lastly, who knew you could hire fake paparazzi to follow you around to make you look like a big shot? I'm sure they made that up for the sake of the storyline, but I'll give it 2 months before someone turns that into the next sensational trend. Rewind: I wonder if that's how Heidi and Spencer became "famous"... paying people to follow them around with cameras.

Sharon Stone is joining the cast for a four-episode arc this season. She'll be playing a District Attorney. What is it with only hiring blond DAs on this show?

Biggest loser ... and not in a good way

For some reason I was wasn't excited about the premiere of "The Biggest Loser". The thought of sitting through 2 hours of this show did not appeal to me at all so I taped it to fast forward through the embarrassment on the faces of the contestants who were made to get on a scale in front of their hometowns. For now, let's check in on ...

"Teen Mom" (MTV, 10:00): For the last few weeks I have been harping on Farrah and her lack of parenting skills ... and I'll be doing it again this week (consistency is key). But for now I need to shine the light on some other lame parents: Lyin' Ryan and Double Zero Gary.

Maci and Ryan, left, are still trying to work things out. They are smart enough to know that living together again is a terrible idea. Too bad for their parents they are splitting time between shacking up in both houses. When the young family goes to have their portrait made, Ryan refuses to smile for the picture. "We look like we hate each other," Maci whines. Pause it: You may not realize it now, sweetie but deep down, you do. I don't understand why these two continue to torture each other with this forced relationship. Ryan did all that begging to get Maci back but it's obvious he doesn't want to have anything to do with being a parent. And now that he's lost his job, it's Maci who's bringing home the bacon while he sits on his ass eating it. I can't even call him a stay-at-home dad because the first chance he gets he's out the door. He even left the house in the early morning hours to avoid tending to crying baby Bentley. Pause it: If I were Maci I would've followed him outside and given him a swift kick to his man berries. Maci's mom suggests they see a counselor and during the session they realize they both have to ask for the help and understanding they want. Blah, blah, blah lady! Put it on a greeting card. Ryan doesn't want help, he wants his freedom.

Gary, Amber's boyfriance, has entered the competition and is working overtime to claim the prize of biggest idiot and laziest father. Amber is living in a motel with their baby and in her quest to get herself away from Gary, she's also moving farther away from her G.E.D. as she misses her classes. He shows up to spend time with Leah, but he never takes her anywhere to give Amber a break. He scoops up the baby, kisses her then promptly returns her to her crib. To convince her to move back in, Gary arranges a candlelit dinner with food from her favorite restaurant - Cracker Barrel. Pause it: First he gives her a $20 Wal-Mart engagement ring, then he fills her up with meatloaf from a country kitchen! What? Were they out of chicken fried steak? Amber relents and moves back home, but only if Gary moves in with his mom. You're a smart one, girly! Make that loser work for it!

Which brings us to baby-making, boyfriend-searching, parent-disrespecting, rhymes with witch Farrah. Oh, to be able to reach through the TV screen!!!! If I could, I would strangle her between my two big toes - I swear I would! She's still going out every night, leaving baby Sophia in the care of her parents. They continue to preach that she can't live the same pre-pregnancy lifestyle, but how about changing the locks on her? How about making her take the baby with her on one of her many dates? Or better yet, how about popping that trollop in her lip the next time she flips off at the mouth? "I wish my parents would stop telling me to be a better mom and just let me be a normal teenager," she gripes. Well guess what honey: having a baby when you're in high school may be the norm, but it's not normal.

I was leading a one-woman hotness parade for Alexander, another oldie but goody Farrah met at a club. Pause it: Did anybody else get goosebumps when he called her out on her parenting skills? She definitely met her match with this guy, and I was so glad he didn't back down in questioning her about not spending time with Sophia. When Farrah asked Alexander if he wanted to meet up the next day, he gave her the ol' "I-have-to-pick-a-friend-up-from-the-airport" line. LOVED IT!! Farrah says she wants to meet a guy who will be cool with her having a kid. I venture to say that a real man would respect her more if she would exhibit some signs of being a responsible mother. An MTV poll shows that 97% of voters think Farrah is too focused on having a social life. If she's not careful, baby Sophia will be calling Farrah by her real first name: B!#*h.

T-Note: After a little bit of digging, I found out that Sophia's dad died in a car accident in December, 2008. Other blogs say that he wanted to be involved in the baby's life but MTV wanted to portray Farrah as 'the single mom'. Just Google the name 'Derek Underwood' and judge for yourselves.

It's been five months since Catelynn gave Carly up for adoption and it sounds like she's having second thoughts. At Tyler's suggestion, she calls her adoption agent who refers her to support group. I've been hard on them in previous blogs, but Catelynn and Tyler are the only couple who ever show love or respect toward each other. It's apparent that making such a hard decision at their young age only strengthened their relationship. And I swear, if they make me cry one more time, I'm going to gouge my eyeball out with a dull spoon.

CHANNEL SURFING

• Maybe it's because I'm blogging while my stomach sits on my lap or maybe it's the way they kick people off before they even lose a pound, but "The Biggest Loser" (NBC, 8:00) is becoming more annoying than inspiring. First of all, can we please cut the show down to one hour. You could lose the 15 minutes of product placements, the 25 minutes of watching people sweat and vomit and that's already 40 minutes trimmed off. I mean, this is a weight loss show right? Second of all, Allison is an annoying host. I'm lumping her in with Chris Harrison from "The Bachelor". All they do is repeat the same thing over and over again ... in the most dramatic rose ceremony/weigh in yet.
• "The Good Wife" (CBS, 10:00) is back and I'm starting to see glimpses of "Boston Legal" in the writing, especially when they bring in the raging liberal judge. Same schtick, different political preference.
• "The Cosby Show" (NIK, 4:30 am) will forever and always be my all-time favorite TV show. It's hard to believe Theo was my childhood crush.

Dream crushers

And here I was thinking Thursday was going to be a boring night. Let's not waste time ...

"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): OH. EM. GEE! That's all I can say about this show. We've reached the part of the game where my heart starts beating out of my chest and my stomach is in KNOTS for 45 minutes - all the strategizing makes me nervous. Russell has officially become Survivor's best player ever. The man is a beast, and I can't believe it's taken the other survivors 33 days to realize what a force he is. For the last 4 weeks, I have been leading a one-lady hotness parade carrying Russell's banner (and for that I'm only slightly embarrassed). But seriously, he basically dropped his pants at Tribal Council, revealed a massive pair of immunity idols and dared Aiga to cut 'em off.

In case anyone wants to know, Aiga is the name of the merged tribe, but they haven't used that since Day 20. The group is still divided by tribal lines, with Shambo redistricting herself into Foa Foa. You would think after last week's blindside of John (and herself) she would be hip to Russell's square. But "Shan With the Plan" still thinks she's running the show and 'cocky' is not a good color on her. Word of Russell's wealth is spreading around camp and he confronts his fellow Foas to see who spilled the beans. Rewind: Did Jai'son look hungry? tired? sleepy? when he was passing around Russell's bank statement? I didn't think so. He said he honestly didn't remember and I want to believe him. If he hadn't have played his race card so early in the game, maybe he could've whipped it out here. (See previous post for rules on playing the race card).

The first immunity challenge was a Survivor bowling tournament. It was Jai'son and Dave in the final round and Dave choked under the pressure, handing Jai'son his second immunity win. Cut to Tribal Council where Dave gets bounced despite some last minute scrambling by Galu. The second challenge was a bean bag basket toss thingy that Brett (who?) comes out of nowhere to win. When he gets back to camp he starts trying to make a power play by getting Foa Squared to turn on Russell. Pause it: Who is this guy and where has he been the whole show? You're all big and bad with that idol necklace on, Brett, but I dare you to make a move without one ... pansy.

Russell didn't get this far by being stupid. The first thing he did upon arrival at Tribal Council was pull out his idol and put it around his neck. Monica, who's been laying low since her near-torch snuffing early in the game, decides now would be the time to open her mouth. Pause it: Really Monica? Really? You're on my fantasy team, heifer! You just handed my chocolate cake trophy over to my opponent, Jackie.

I was on the edge of my seat during the vote reading and I can honestly say I thought Russell's arrogance would be his downfall tonight. Alas, Foa sticks with their leader and votes off Monica, my most worthless fantasy pick ever. Whoever wants to join my one-lady hotness parade and cheer Russell on to the finish, raise your hand!!!

CHANNEL SURFING

"The Office" (NBC, 9:00): In their special holiday episode, Phyllis gets to fulfill her dream of being the office Santa. She turned her request in 11 weeks ago and Jim gave her the all clear. So imagine her anger when Michael shows up decked out in his Old Saint Nick suit yelling "women can't be Santa Claus".

The power struggle continues throughout the Christmas party with Michael heckling Phyllis's performance and revealing everyone's secret Santa. Jim finally forces Michael to leave, but he comes back dressed as Jesus. Not as funny as the "Santa Claus is Coming to Scranton" episode from Season 2, but it still offered some hiliarious lines like this one: "You can't yell out, 'I need this, I need this' as you try to pin an employee to your lap." - Jim, to a pouting Michael.

"CSI:" (CBS, 9:00): I love it when they have quirky cases like this. The fellas kidnap lab tech Henry to celebrate his birthday. They drive to a nearby city only to get run off the road. They make it to the restaurant and see it's been shut down since March, but also discover a dead body inside. There was quite a bit of gross stuff, but that's how I like my "CSI:"! Did anyone else laugh when the Greg, frustrated about not being able to find a phone signal says, "If I can't find a phone I'm going to make one" then he goes off and does some MacGyver-type stuff and fashions a telephone. Not bad for a Level 2 CSI.

CAN I GET A JUDGE'S RULING?: Just an observation, but one would think that NBC execs are watching an awful lot of shows on FOX. First they described their new show, "Sing-Off", as "Glee" meets "American Idol", two FOX network shows. Then they have virtually the same storyline on "Law & Order: SVU" that "Bones" had on talk show hosts inciting people to commit murder. I know "SVU" aired first, but I think that Dick Wolf must have gotten a copy of their script somehow. I'm just saying ...

I was rushing home tonight because I thought Barbara Walters would be revealing her Top 10. I guess I should've read my own notes.

"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, 8:00): It's finale night and I find it highly ironic that a weight loss show packs on so many extras to stretch drag this thing to two hours. First, second and last of all, Allison Sweeney is horrible at live-hosting. HORRIBLE! I find it painful to watch her at these finale shows. And let me just add my disclaimer now: If it sounds like I'm hating on these contestants, you are probably right. But don't pretend you weren't thinking the same thing. I say it so you don't have to.

So after 154 days and over 1,000 lbs. lost on the ranch, America votes Amanda into the final spot. Big mistake, America. I wasn't rooting for Liz, but you've already given Amanda her second chance. She was working on thirds. It is really inspiring to see how much weight these people drop, but sometimes when you transform your body, you also transform your face and that's not always a good thing. Abby, the woman who lost her husband and kids in a car accident, was barely recognizable. So was Danny. He looks like an older version of T.R. Knight (formerly Dr. George O'Malley from "Grey's Anatomy". Wild-Eyed Tracey is now Wild-Smile Tracey and favors a diabolical Molly Shannon. SCARY! But it was Rebecca, who remade her makeover into a bad Sandy Duncan. The whole season she whined that she was more than just a pretty face. Well now you're a pretty face with a bad haircut and color. Good thing Rebecca won that at-home prize money. She can spend her first $100 on a new hairstyle.

Shay would've looked better in a dress or skirt. Those pants didn't really do her weight loss any justice. Subway has pledged to follow her for the rest of her weight loss journey, and for every pound she loses between now and May 2010, they will pay her $1,000. Pause it: If I had somebody willing to pay me to lose weight then yes, I would probably get off my tail and run to the gym. But I don't so I will continue to eat my birthday cake until it's all gone.

Danny pulls off the upset, beating out Rudy and Amanda for the $250,000 prize. Here are the final standings by percentage of weight loss:

1. Danny: 55.58%
2. Rudy: 52.94%
3. Rebecca: 49.82%
4. Tracey: 47.2%
5. Julio: 44.23%
6. Antoine: 41.42%
7. Abby: 40.49%
8. Shay: 36.13%
9. Allen: 35.69%
10. Daniel: 35.58%
11. Sean: 34.91%
12. Amanda: 34.8% (I'm not absolutely sure since they didn't say it out loud.)
13. Liz: 34.28%
14. Dina: 31.23%
15. Alexandra: 29.45%
16. Coach Mo: 25.92%

New season of "Biggest Loser: Couples" begins Jan. 5. I like this show, but I liked it a lot more when it was coming on once a year. Commercial break: NBC is saying their new show "Sing-Off" is a cross between "American Idol" and "Glee", two shows that air on FOX. Whoever wrote that promo for NBC should be fired. This is the same network that disinvited the "Glee" cast from the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade because they felt it was giving them too much exposure.

CHANNEL SURFING

• "Tabatha's Salon Takeover" (Bravo, 10:00): Fab Tab finally met her match in Nikki, the owner of Brownes & Co. in Miami, Florida. European Nikki doesn't like how Americans need to be coddled and told how wonderful they are so she inflicts fear and negative feedback on them at every chance she gets. Her staff is so terrified of her, one stylist was afraid to admit she was a mother out of fear Nikki would turn on her. After Tabatha renovates the shop, Nikki rattles off a laundry list of things she doesn't like about the new salon: the paint, the waiting area, the floors. "Nikki is so insufferable that it makes me want to punch her," Tabatha says. Nobody would've blamed you, Tab. I don't typically use ugly words to describe people but I'll just say I'm glad I won't be seeing Nikki next Tuesday. (You know what I'm saying).
• "Teen Mom" (MTV, 10:00): I takes an awful lot of guts to come on TV and air your dirty laundry. (And I'm not talking about that fake stuff on "The Hills".) I'm talking about teen-aged girls who open themselves up to ridicule and judgement for getting pregnant in high school. MTV cranks out a lot of trash, but this is one show that parents should sit down and watch with their children. There's Amber, a girl who is so overwhelmed with anxiety that she's put on medication; Catelynn, who gave her daughter up for adoption but continues to have unprotected sex; young mom Maci who is supposedly engaged, but fails to set a wedding date; and then there's Farrah, Miss "I-Got-Pregnant-or-Whatever", wannabe model who seems to think life doesn't stop just because you're a teen mother. No Farrah, life doesn't stop, but yours should be coming up on a 'yield' sign at any minute now. Driving 2 hours to confront a boy about cheating on you (whom you've only been dating for 3 weeks) proves she has no clue about the importance of motherhood. Those are precious hours of her baby's life that she will never get back. This is one time I'll swallow that bitter pill and say, "Mother knows best." Put down the mirror, Farrah and pay attention.

Big gambles

Thursday was a night full of risk-taking and some of these people didn't know when to fold. Here's what happened:

"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): I told my best friend Jeff that this was the best season of "Survivor" ever to which he replied, "You said the same thing about last season. You say that every season." That just goes to show that even in it's 19th season, "Survivor" manages to bring something new and exciting every year. This season, that excitement comes in the form of a man named Russell.

I know I say it every week, but it bears repeating: I can't believe I'm pulling for a guy I absolutely detested in week one. He has stolen the crown for 'outwit' and will probably skate through to the end. No one else in Samoa is playing the game as hard as he is, and I'm actually impressed at the things he's managed to pull off. Who got the brunt of his conniving ways tonight? I'll tell you that later. First, lets talk about "Survivor Auction"!

Along with the dreaded eat-gross-stuff challenge, the auction is one of the highlights of each season - $500 and no sharing money or food! I think I have figured out the best strategy for playing this game: Bid half your money on the first item, which is usually some sort of food. There's no guarantee that you'll get something better in a later round or that they will reveal what's under the cover. Even better, save your money for that one item that pertains to the game. You never know what kind of advantage you can get from those clues. Jai'son was smart to spend his money on that immunity advantage. It ultimately helped him win safety at Tribal Council. And even though John bid on a clue to the hidden immunity idol that Russell had already found, it still helped him confirm that someone had it. Pause it: Call me crazy, but I wouldn't bid on food items when I'm already starving. Getting a taste of food then going back to bugs and fish would turn my stomach inside out.

At Tribal Council, Shambo was determined the get Dave voted off after he confronted her about her chicken-cooking skills. She's becoming quite the loose cannon and former Foa Squared members would be wise to cut her loose before she does them in. Russell persuades his group to go against her and get rid of John since John now knows he has the hidden idol. Score one more for Russell as John goes down in the 4th blindside. The look on his face was priceless! Well, maybe it was worth the money he spent on that clue! Have fun at jury duty, idiot!

"The Office" (NBC, 9:00): I love me some "Office," Lord knows I do. But tonight's episode crossed the line with a joke that was far worse than anything they have ever done on this show. Ten years ago, Michael promised a bunch of third graders that if they graduated from high school, he would pay their college tuition. Cut to 10 years later and "Scott's Tots" are all ready to matriculate, but Michael Scott isn't quite the millionaire he thought he would be by age 30 ... or 40. "I've made some empty promises in my life, but hands down, this was my most generous," says Michael.

So instead of receiving the college tuition they had worked so hard for, Michael gives them batteries for a laptop (lithium, of course). How cruel is that? As someone who volunteers at a school full of minority students, it was hard watching these kids heap praise on Michael then have him dash their hopes of being college students. Yes, they countered it at the end with the stat that "Scott's Tots" had a higher retention level than other kids, but still ... it was a bad storyline.

CHANNEL SURFING
There is no way anyone can eat and watch "Bones" (FOX, 8:00) at the same time. In their defense, they did warn me there was graphic content, but I had to put my spoon down when the flesh started falling off that body. But I don't know what was worse: the fleshless body or the glorified promo for the movie "Avatar". I know it's from 20th Century Fox, but c'mon guys! Enough with the self-promotion! This is "Bones", not "American Idol"!!! FYI: The lab tech guy is in the movie, so I'm sure they are just proud of their co-star.

Reality rundown

I am so proud of myself because I was literally watching three shows at one time tonight. THREE! And I still managed to keep up! It's the little things. Here are the highlights.

So You Think You Can Dance (FOX, 8:00): Adam Shankman talks too much! When FOX announced they were making him a permanent judge I was thinking this could be a nice mix. What I didn't realize is that by giving him a seat on the panel there would be no guest judges. I miss hearing the commentary from the other professional dancers. Shankman just rambles on and on and on ... and on and on and on. He's probably still talking now.

There weren't too many exciting routines. I hate any sort of 70s disco and tonight was the revival of the hustle. I don't know why the choreographers feel the need to throw in all these death lifts and death spins. I hope they throw in some death insurance (and maybe a helmet). I also hate it when they make them dance with props. If it's not a top hat or a stationary chair, they shouldn't be dancing with it. If that prop doesn't work the way it's supposed to, they blame it on the dancers, not the choreographers.

Best routine of the night was the African jazz routine by Noelle and Russell. I wish I had taped it so I could watch it on playback because it was amazing. And as much as I don't want to be a Legacy fan, he is growing in this competition. He totally out-danced his partner Kathryn in their Broadway number. I used to think contemporary dancers had the upper hand on this show, but I'm starting to think it's actually the hip hoppers. Their lack of training makes them much more adaptable. I see Russell and Legacy in the Top 6.


"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, 8:00): In a "Biggest Loser" first, two players are sent home this week. Ali announces that there will be both a yellow line and a red line. The player who falls below the red line will automatically be sent home, and the two players who fall below the yellow line will be put to a vote. Jillian makes it clear to Bob that she wants Shay to stay because Shay needs to stay. Bob wants to make sure Amanda is still around.

At the challenge, Rudy wins immunity and Shay is upset that Rudy didn't help her win. I'm starting to see a pattern with Shay. She wants people to help her win, but she never does anything to help herself. Pause it: Everybody needs to be there, Shay. They just stopped eating before they got as big as you. Don't hate on them for realizing their problem sooner than you. During the workout, Jillian calls Shay out on all her crying. Thank you, Jillian! I thought I was going to have to come out to the ranch and smack her across the face.

At the weigh-in, Shay loses 17 pounds and breaks the record for the woman to lose 100 pounds the fastest. Danny also loses 17 and breaks the 100 pound mark. Daniel's second chance comes to an end as he falls below the red line. It's Bob vs. Jillian for the elimination when both their pet projects, Shay and Amanda, fall below the yellow line. In a stunning vote, the players send Shay packing and she cries her way back to Newport Beach.

CHANNEL SURFING
The bossy Aussie heads to the beaches of Miami on "Tabatha's Salon Takeover" (Bravo, 10:00). Pablo, a 21-year-old salon owner, doesn't even do hair; he just likes the business aspect of owning a business, and he's not even good at that. He owes $19,000 in back rent, is $75,000 in debt and lives off $400 a month he gets from working at a bar.

The salon wasn't the problem in this episode, it was the staff. Color specialist and salon meanie Joy wants upscale clients but dresses like a hooker. The rest of the stylists treat Pablo like he's the shampoo boy, not their boss. Tabatha says Joy looks like "a leather washed up hooker troll doll." OUCH! After Tab whips the place into shape, Allure Salon has a lead stylist in Irina, Joy gets to keep her job and Pablo is able to pay off $6,000 of his debt. "He really filled his big boy pants ... with his balls," Tabatha quips.

Over on "The Hills" (MTV, 10:00), Kristin must really enjoy seconds because she's gone back twice for a helping of boyfriends (for thirds if you believe the tabloids). First she nibbled on Audrina's ex, Justin. Now she's eating of Jayde's plate with a bite of Brody. Pause it: The garbage truck runs on Tuesdays. I'm sure Brody will be sitting in it next week. Both Jayde and Audrina are gluttons for relationship punishment. I'm so over seeing them go "on a break" with their boyfriends only to go running back the next week. At least Kristin has enough self-respect to move on when Justin started acting up. Too bad she moved in the wrong direction.

Heidi and Spencer have only been married for two months and she's screaming about having a baby. Spence, being the loving hubby that he is, immediately goes to a urologist for a consult on a vasectomy. He thinks it's like a faucet that he can turn off and on when he's ready to make a baby. (Clearly, he missed health class that day). I was LOLing when the doctor explained the procedure using diagrams and pictures. Spencer was squirming like his testicles were in a vise-grip. It was like watching a cartoon the way he bolted out of that office. I'm still laughing 3 hours later.

Another mundane Monday

It was a ho-hum night for TV. I can usually get a little bit of excitement from "Trauma" or at least find some whacked out idiot to laugh at on "I Want to Work for Diddy" but they both left me cold. Even the much-talked-about threesome on "Gossip Girl" was nothing more than three people kissing then waking up next to each other. Shame on you GG for getting that parent's group all up in arms. Here's a recap of what happened.

"Trauma" (NBC, 9:00): After a gunfight breaks out and an innocent restaurant patron is shot, Nancy and Glenn arrive on the scene. As they are loading the victim into the rig, the police show up with the apprehended suspect. Sergeant Lyons, a friend of Nancy's, proceeds to bash the perp's head in in front of a gang of witnesses. When Glenn and Nancy are called in to explain what happened, Nancy lies for the cop while Glenn's loose lips sink Sgt. Lyon's ship.

The only good thing about the show was the banter between Boone and fresh-out-the-closet Tyler. He's been dumped by his boyfriend and Boone tries to be the supportive friend. It was all very cute. To get under his skin, Tyler goes into naughty detail about the sexual aspects of being gay, telling Boone, "You haven't been touched 'til you've been touched by a doctor." Cut to Boone nearly vomiting. If NBC really is cancelling this show the last few episodes better be good. It's the least they could do after letting me get invested in a show before snatching it away.

"Lie to Me" (FOX, 9:00): Agent Reynolds's (Mekhi Phifer) past comes back to haunt him when it's revealed he spent two years deep undercover as a criminal. Apparently he became addicted to the lifestyle (and cocaine) and ends up killing a man. Nothing much to see here except a lot of close-ups of an angry Mekhi Phifer. The one thing that made this show interesting is the one thing they hardly do anymore: show famous faces conveying the same emotions that they are trying to decipher. They only gave us one example tonight - defiance - and we get Bill O'Reilly and Saddam Hussein.

Question: Do you think Dr. House and Cal Lightman could be related? They have the same surly look and pompous attitudes. I'm calling FOX to see if they can work in a crossover.

"I Want to Work for Diddy" (VH1, 10:00): The teams must design an ad that embodies the new Sean John logo (which is really just the old logo with a black box behind it). Downtown wins again after Uptown hands in a tacky picture that was nothing but fur and crotch. The loss falls on Nick's shoulders, who had crowned himself King of All-Knowing and he's called down to the carpet, taking loud-mouth Ivory with him. But his self-inflated ego was no match for Ivory and Nick was fired. Thank god cause his attitude made me want to punch him dead in the nose.

Oh yeah, Poprah (Poor man's Oprah) from last season is back. I don't know what it is about VH1 reality shows, but I think voice decibel must be a question on the application. Must every person on this show speak as if they are trying to make a deaf person hear? Take it down a notch people. You're wearing a microphone.