Dream crushers

And here I was thinking Thursday was going to be a boring night. Let's not waste time ...

"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): OH. EM. GEE! That's all I can say about this show. We've reached the part of the game where my heart starts beating out of my chest and my stomach is in KNOTS for 45 minutes - all the strategizing makes me nervous. Russell has officially become Survivor's best player ever. The man is a beast, and I can't believe it's taken the other survivors 33 days to realize what a force he is. For the last 4 weeks, I have been leading a one-lady hotness parade carrying Russell's banner (and for that I'm only slightly embarrassed). But seriously, he basically dropped his pants at Tribal Council, revealed a massive pair of immunity idols and dared Aiga to cut 'em off.

In case anyone wants to know, Aiga is the name of the merged tribe, but they haven't used that since Day 20. The group is still divided by tribal lines, with Shambo redistricting herself into Foa Foa. You would think after last week's blindside of John (and herself) she would be hip to Russell's square. But "Shan With the Plan" still thinks she's running the show and 'cocky' is not a good color on her. Word of Russell's wealth is spreading around camp and he confronts his fellow Foas to see who spilled the beans. Rewind: Did Jai'son look hungry? tired? sleepy? when he was passing around Russell's bank statement? I didn't think so. He said he honestly didn't remember and I want to believe him. If he hadn't have played his race card so early in the game, maybe he could've whipped it out here. (See previous post for rules on playing the race card).

The first immunity challenge was a Survivor bowling tournament. It was Jai'son and Dave in the final round and Dave choked under the pressure, handing Jai'son his second immunity win. Cut to Tribal Council where Dave gets bounced despite some last minute scrambling by Galu. The second challenge was a bean bag basket toss thingy that Brett (who?) comes out of nowhere to win. When he gets back to camp he starts trying to make a power play by getting Foa Squared to turn on Russell. Pause it: Who is this guy and where has he been the whole show? You're all big and bad with that idol necklace on, Brett, but I dare you to make a move without one ... pansy.

Russell didn't get this far by being stupid. The first thing he did upon arrival at Tribal Council was pull out his idol and put it around his neck. Monica, who's been laying low since her near-torch snuffing early in the game, decides now would be the time to open her mouth. Pause it: Really Monica? Really? You're on my fantasy team, heifer! You just handed my chocolate cake trophy over to my opponent, Jackie.

I was on the edge of my seat during the vote reading and I can honestly say I thought Russell's arrogance would be his downfall tonight. Alas, Foa sticks with their leader and votes off Monica, my most worthless fantasy pick ever. Whoever wants to join my one-lady hotness parade and cheer Russell on to the finish, raise your hand!!!

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"The Office" (NBC, 9:00): In their special holiday episode, Phyllis gets to fulfill her dream of being the office Santa. She turned her request in 11 weeks ago and Jim gave her the all clear. So imagine her anger when Michael shows up decked out in his Old Saint Nick suit yelling "women can't be Santa Claus".

The power struggle continues throughout the Christmas party with Michael heckling Phyllis's performance and revealing everyone's secret Santa. Jim finally forces Michael to leave, but he comes back dressed as Jesus. Not as funny as the "Santa Claus is Coming to Scranton" episode from Season 2, but it still offered some hiliarious lines like this one: "You can't yell out, 'I need this, I need this' as you try to pin an employee to your lap." - Jim, to a pouting Michael.

"CSI:" (CBS, 9:00): I love it when they have quirky cases like this. The fellas kidnap lab tech Henry to celebrate his birthday. They drive to a nearby city only to get run off the road. They make it to the restaurant and see it's been shut down since March, but also discover a dead body inside. There was quite a bit of gross stuff, but that's how I like my "CSI:"! Did anyone else laugh when the Greg, frustrated about not being able to find a phone signal says, "If I can't find a phone I'm going to make one" then he goes off and does some MacGyver-type stuff and fashions a telephone. Not bad for a Level 2 CSI.

CAN I GET A JUDGE'S RULING?: Just an observation, but one would think that NBC execs are watching an awful lot of shows on FOX. First they described their new show, "Sing-Off", as "Glee" meets "American Idol", two FOX network shows. Then they have virtually the same storyline on "Law & Order: SVU" that "Bones" had on talk show hosts inciting people to commit murder. I know "SVU" aired first, but I think that Dick Wolf must have gotten a copy of their script somehow. I'm just saying ...

As the tables turn

There were lots of unexpected turns. Blindsides, hook-ups, plot twists ... try and keep up.

"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): Foa Foa is outnumbered 8 to 4 but lucky for them it's merge day! (Pulling out party hats, wine and cheese). The tribes are rewarded with a feast for making it thus far and move onto camp on Galu's beach. Pause it: Why do these people go for wine and beer after being hungry and thirsty for 19 days? Why not drinks some juice or water that doesn't have to be boiled? They renamed themselves "Aiga", which in Samoan means "extended family that lies to you." For all of Foa Squared's losses, they certainly had a plan going into the merge: divide and conquer. Galu revealed the crack between Laura and Shambo, giving Russell the opportunity to campaign for Laura to go.

The immunity challenge is a game of T-ball, and two people get to win immunity: one girl and one guy. Pause it: You mean to tell me you'll let these people wrestle together, but they can't play T-ball? Please!!! It looks like Russell is about the take the win, but it's John who get the W. And of course, Laura wins for the girls because the person that people scheme to vote off is always the one who's a clutch player.

Camp is like a swarm of angry bees as players strategize about who to vote off. Both Russell and Erik have immunity idols and both think they're calling the shots. At Tribal Council, Erik comes down with a horrible case of condescending antagonist, and manages to insult every member of Foa Squared. Jaison calls him out on his arrogance and ultimately has the last word. Erik gets blindsided and is sent packing after (stupidly) not playing his idol. The tribe did manage to flush out Russell's though, leveling the playing field since both idols are out of the game. I wonder how big was Erik's slice of humble pie. Had to be pretty big to satisfy the appetite of his inflated ego.

Rewind the tape: I haven't seen a blindside this good since the girls of "Survivor All-Stars" tricked Ozzy into not playing the idol. Russell is definitely playing the 'outwit' portion of the game but not very well. He tipped his hand to three too many people. Looks like that cocky attitude just may earn him a bed next to Erik at the ponderosa.

"CSI:" (CBS, 9:00): Talk about tables turning. There were so many plot twists in this episode I could barely keep up. Two seemingly unrelated crimes turn out to be connected by a weird revenge plot. A teen-aged boy is brutally beaten, but he refuses help from the CSIs because he doesn't want to admit he was sexually assaulted. Across town, a man is found shot to death in a burned-out electronics store. It was a long, confusing road but the dots connect with the boy being raped by the man found in the store. It was kind of one of those sister's-boyfriend's-brother type stories that lost me when a stripper was thrown in the mix. I still learned something, though: most dust particles contain trace amounts of fecal matter. That's poop.

Despite the loss of some major characters (single tear falling for Grissom and Warrick), the show has managed to stay fresh and hasn't missed a stepped when introducing new players. Instead of forcing us to believe a doctor could become a CSI overnight, they remind us that newbie Langston is still learning. The conversation about him taking multiple classes was a great attention to detail for plot continuity. And how much do I heart Greg and Nick? They are the sexiest nerds on television.

CHANNEL SURFING

• It's Irina, Carol Hannah and Althea heading to fashion week on "Project Runway" (Lifetime, 10:00). Too bad this show is a year old and their fashions are probably already outdated.
• The online commercial during "CSI:" was about a cheesemaker who lets us in on a little secret: cheese is a moldy bacteria with controlled decay. Which proves my point for not liking it.
• Do you think the agent killing himself on "Flash Forward" (ABC, 8:00) will actually alter someone else's outcome?

Bored by reality

It was a surprisingly mundane night, but I did learn something from a "real housewife": Everybody has a "Pooky 'n 'nem" saved in their cell phones ... just in case something pops off and you need backup. I gotta get me a "Pooky"!

"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): With their chief Russell out of the game, Galu elects Shambo to be their next leader. At the reward challenge, it was wants vs. needs as the survivors played a game of memory for items to help out at camp. Galu redeemed themselves by picking a tarp and a fire-starting kit, foregoing a point for each item they kept. It didn't much matter as they still beat Foa Foa. A great deal of hypocrisy erupts among the women when Shambo chooses to exclude Laura from the reward and send her over to Foa Foa. Ashley whines that Laura is a strong girl and didn't deserve it to be left out. Pause it: They were playing a memory game, but the ladies of Galu must have short ones. Didn't they do the same thing to Shambo ... twice? How about you just be thankful she didn't send you, Twiggy.

At the immunity challenge, Foa Foa leader Mick believes his tribe chief necklace has a hex on it and leaves it back at camp. Too bad he was wrong - Galu gives them another spanking, handing Foa Foa its 8th loss out of 10 challenges. Jaison throws himself under the bus at Tribal Council by saying he gave up during the immunity competition (no $@!&, Sherlock), but the tribe blindsides Liz and just like that, they're down to four. With the merge around the corner, Foa Foa has their work cut out for them. Maybe they should try some Galu's yoga exercises. It couldn't hurt.

"Project Runway" (Lifetime, 10:00): You knew it was going to be a long night for local boy Logan when the designers are told to create a companion piece for their winning looks and he doesn't have a winning look to create a companion piece to. He's allowed to use the gown he made from the first challenge and I knew right then he had cut his last pattern. Not only did he churn out an outfit for Judy Jetson, but he stole part of the look from another designer's previous dress. Pause it: You can't get by on looks alone, buddy. You've got to have some creativity in the greasy-haired head of yours. In his parting words, Logan says he's not a designer for 90% of the population. That means he's designing for the 10% of Americans who have a fear of wearing nice clothes.

Althea snags another win with her jiggly breasted model, and Irina's anger could not be hidden. She accused Althea (in front of the judges) of stealing her over-sized sweater design. I was glad to see someone else besides "Mean Irina" get a victory.

CHANNEL SURFING
On the "Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion" (Bravo, 10:00), the conversation was as dull as Sheree's weave ponytail. The women were extremely defensive and it was very awkward to watch. The fact that Kandi had to explain why she and A.J. weren't together at the time of his death was enough to make me change the channel. Bravo milked that situation for everything it was worth by having her show up just weeks after A.J.'s funeral. Pause it: What was up with Kim bogarting in on Kandi's grief? She was speaking over Kandi like she was the one who'd lost him. The only significant (and I use that word loosely) thing revealed tonight was that NeNe and Kim made up after the alleged choking incident. I'll be tuning in for Part II next week, when Kim "performs" her single "live". That's a party I will not be tardy for.

I learned something very interesting on "CSI:" (CBS, 9:00) tonight. The part of the brain that controls thought and reason sits on top of the part that controls learned habits and repetitive behavior. That is why a person can still brush their teeth and make breakfast with a gaping, near-fatal head wound. See, zombies do exist.

Before I break

It's my last post before I get away for the weekend. I thought about blowing it off, but you know I love me some Thursday primetime.

"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): UGH! It's the gross food challenge week! This is one of my least favorite things to see on this show besides emaciated girls in swimsuits. I haven't been able to sit through one of these since they were made to drink cow's blood on "Survivor: Africa".

The game was played roulette style - whatever the ball lands on goes into the blender. Jellyfish and milk, anyone? How about a glass of sea slug guts and water? You drink the shake, you win the steak. After Ashley was unable to chug hers down, Galu wins reward. Downer for Shambo, who is sent home with Foa Foa and doesn't get to partake in the protein. Pause it: That's what you get for losing that chicken last week.

The rain took center stage as it poured on the camps for 48 hours straight. I thought this was clearly a time when production should've been suspended for a day or two. The skin on their hands looked like it was falling off. Foa Foa lost immunity and because of the rain, the tribe was unable to strategize about who they wanted to see gone. It didn't matter though because Ashley was voted out by a vote of 5-1. Do you think conditions like the torrential rain tonight are just part of surviving or is there a time when production should step in for the sake of safety?

CSI: (CBS, 9:00): It was a game of racism vs. reality tonight when a white policeman kills a black fellow officer and the CSIs must determine if the shooting was an accident or premeditated. I really liked how this story played out because you could see the judgements being formed but nobody verbalized how they felt. Anyway you looked at it, prejudice could be formed. But in the end it was just a case of one officer taking action in the line of duty and one trying to help a kid.

Did anybody catch that it was Enrique Murciano (formerly Danny Taylor of "Without a Trace" fame) playing the gang cop? At first I thought it was a crossover episode then I realized that "Trace" was based in New York and "CSI:" is set in Vegas. That was quickly followed by the memory that "Trace" was canceled because CBS wanted to make room for a lame reality show about neighborhoods. CBS was without a clue.

Reality check
"Project Runway" (Lifetime, 10:00): Bob Mackie, the "Sultan of Sequin", drops by to task the designers with creating an extravagant stage look. Two days and $300 to come up with an outfit for Christina Aguilera? They could've did that with a 2 hours and a Victoria's Secret gift card. You know Xtina likes it "dirty". Local boy Logan hangs on by a thread while table mate Carol Hannah wins the challenge. Give it up Logan. They're only keeping you around for eye candy.