Keep your heroes close

How excited am I to learn that On Demand now features shows from NBC. The network used to charge to watch their shows, but now you can see "The Office", "Trauma" and "The Marriage Ref" within hours after they air. I guess that makes up for the whole Leno/Conan debacle. Now, check out what happened on ...

"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): Wow! The Heroes really are turning out to be some of the most conniving players to ever walk the beaches of Samoa! Gone is that good-guy act that led scores of "Survivor" fans to vote these castaways back on the islands. It's been replaced with double-talk and backstabbing, with J.T. leading the pack.

After voting off Cirie at Tribal Council, Colby calls J.T. his hero for voting with him and Tom. J.T. apologizes for his tricky move, but says his vote was cast for the good of the team, not for personal reasons. He swears to Amanda that he would never turn on her, but she claims she can see right through him. "If he wants to play this game, game on. Bring it on," she challenges. Over on the Villains' beach, Coach is leading his tribe in a session of "Dragon Slayer Chi" - a mixture of chanting, inflated ego and made up yoga movements. Everyone except Russell is participating. He's out looking for the hidden immunity idol, which he finds after two days of digging.

Things get more than a little heated at the Reward Challenge. It's a game of foot-dodge-basketball and the prize is a chocolate feast. Pause it: After not having any real food except fish and chicken for 10 days, eating pounds of chocolate doesn't sound appealing at all. (Unless I get to lick it off of James's abs). Jeff Probst offers the tribes a sample of the candy to whet their appetites, but the Heroes sternly refuse. Colby dismisses the plate and tells Probst he's ready to get to the competition. "I got the message, brother. We'll go when I'm ready!" he snaps at Colby. Rupert explains that they want to send the message that they are focused. They should've just eaten the chocolate. At the start of the challenge, James injures his knee and the medics get called in to assist him. He's pulled out of the game after he's unable to walk around on it. The battle continues to get rough as B-Rob and J.T. duke it out then later turns into a full-out brawl after J.T. body slams Coach and Rupert accidentally lobs Jerri into a pole. It looked like a scene out of WWE. The score is now tied and Jerri scores the final point, giving the Villains yet another win. James is given a splint for his knee and the Villains head off to enjoy their feast. Pause it: Can you really say they enjoyed it when most of them ended up with sugar headaches?

While his other teammates are swimming, Russell confides in Parvati that he's found the hidden idol. "Grab on to these coattails!" he tells her. "I don't ride coattails, baby," she replies. Russell brings Coach into his inner circle and being the gullible idiot that he is, bows down to "King Russell" and allows him to "knight" him. Coach says that he'd love to stay loyal to B-Rob, but appreciates Russell's trust in him.

Amanda is sulking around the Heroes' beach, weighing her options if James is taken out of the game. She really wants James to stay because he looks out for her. Rewind: In Cirie's exit interview with TV Guide, she reveals her disappointment in Amanda's game, saying she can't think for herself. Without Cirie or Parvati calling the shots, Amanda is as lost as the prodigal son. Lucky for her, James comes limping back to camp with his knee wrapped in bandages. The medics can't explain what's wrong with him and he does his best to convince the tribe he's fine. He says he's going to "make some lemonade out of his lemon knee." Candice isn't buying it calling James "dead weight."

At the Immunity Challenge, the castaways play a blind puzzle game where everyone on the course is blindfolded while one player sits on a perch calling out directions. Colby, B-Rob, Rupert and Jerri have all played this game before. James is the caller for the Heroes, Jerri for the Villains. James does a great job yelling out directions. The Heroes grab their puzzle pieces quickly and open up a huge lead over the Villains. But once again, the Heroes fail at the putting the puzzle together and the Villains win their 4th Immunity Challenge. Let the Heroes' finger pointing begin.

Upon return to camp, J.T. points out that it's established that the Villains "can beat them at everything except Sumo wrestling." James claims that Tom isn't contributing to the team and moves to get him voted out. Candice adamantly objects and thinks voting off James is their best bet. Rewind: J.T.'s game play is way more sneaky than it was the first time around and I'm not sure if I like it. What I loved about him in his season was that he was a down-home country boy with a friendly smile and southern charm. Now he looks and sounds like a used-car salesman. J.T. is playing both sides and all the tribe members are looking for his vote even though his loyalty is in question. "He's clearly just playing the hand that suits him today," Colby says.

At Tribal Council, Probst needles James: "My niece could beat you in a race right now." "No, she can't," James deadpans. Eventually, fingers start to point in Tom's direction after Rupert and James say Tom doesn't like to follow. Tom bites back by saying James's voting strategy is to shut up and do what he's told. James then challenges the tribe to vote him out if they think they can win with Tom. "We'll still be cool," he promises. After the final vote, it's mass over class as Tom torch is snuffed, proving James is more valuable with a bum leg t

I noticed that Candice ended up voting for Tom. I assume she was smart enough to realize she'd be next if she voted with Colby and Tom.

THE SCORECARD

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• "The Office" (NBC, 9:00): Jim returns from paternity leave to find that Dwight has converted his workstation into a "megadesk" - a huge desk built out of Jim, Pam and his desk. Jim returns the favor by building "quad desk", three (yes, three) desks stacked like a pyramid. Michael tries to impress Jo, the new owner of Dunder Mifflin, but it's warehouse worker Darrell who catches her eye with a fresh idea and is given his own office next to Michael's. I wonder if that means we'll get to see more of Darrell. I love the way he interacts with Michael.
• "Project Runway" (Lifetime, 10:00): The designers get to create a look based on the elements - earth, water, air and fire - that also incorporated a hairstyle to match. Jonathan wins with his interpretation of air through laughter. I understood his concept, but I didn't think the look was all that. Ben and Amy, one of my favorites, end up in the bottom two - both for bad construction. Amy has made some really great clothes but the outfit she came up with tonight was so strange that even Lady Gaga would call it weird. Ultimately, the judges forgave her "cat in a baby sling" garment and sent Ben packing for his ill-constructed pantsuit.
• On "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC, 9:00), Callie thinks she's finally in a stable relationship then learns that her pediatrician girlfriend doesn't want to have children. A pediatrician who doesn't want kids? How much does she hate her job?
  

Dream crushers

And here I was thinking Thursday was going to be a boring night. Let's not waste time ...

"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): OH. EM. GEE! That's all I can say about this show. We've reached the part of the game where my heart starts beating out of my chest and my stomach is in KNOTS for 45 minutes - all the strategizing makes me nervous. Russell has officially become Survivor's best player ever. The man is a beast, and I can't believe it's taken the other survivors 33 days to realize what a force he is. For the last 4 weeks, I have been leading a one-lady hotness parade carrying Russell's banner (and for that I'm only slightly embarrassed). But seriously, he basically dropped his pants at Tribal Council, revealed a massive pair of immunity idols and dared Aiga to cut 'em off.

In case anyone wants to know, Aiga is the name of the merged tribe, but they haven't used that since Day 20. The group is still divided by tribal lines, with Shambo redistricting herself into Foa Foa. You would think after last week's blindside of John (and herself) she would be hip to Russell's square. But "Shan With the Plan" still thinks she's running the show and 'cocky' is not a good color on her. Word of Russell's wealth is spreading around camp and he confronts his fellow Foas to see who spilled the beans. Rewind: Did Jai'son look hungry? tired? sleepy? when he was passing around Russell's bank statement? I didn't think so. He said he honestly didn't remember and I want to believe him. If he hadn't have played his race card so early in the game, maybe he could've whipped it out here. (See previous post for rules on playing the race card).

The first immunity challenge was a Survivor bowling tournament. It was Jai'son and Dave in the final round and Dave choked under the pressure, handing Jai'son his second immunity win. Cut to Tribal Council where Dave gets bounced despite some last minute scrambling by Galu. The second challenge was a bean bag basket toss thingy that Brett (who?) comes out of nowhere to win. When he gets back to camp he starts trying to make a power play by getting Foa Squared to turn on Russell. Pause it: Who is this guy and where has he been the whole show? You're all big and bad with that idol necklace on, Brett, but I dare you to make a move without one ... pansy.

Russell didn't get this far by being stupid. The first thing he did upon arrival at Tribal Council was pull out his idol and put it around his neck. Monica, who's been laying low since her near-torch snuffing early in the game, decides now would be the time to open her mouth. Pause it: Really Monica? Really? You're on my fantasy team, heifer! You just handed my chocolate cake trophy over to my opponent, Jackie.

I was on the edge of my seat during the vote reading and I can honestly say I thought Russell's arrogance would be his downfall tonight. Alas, Foa sticks with their leader and votes off Monica, my most worthless fantasy pick ever. Whoever wants to join my one-lady hotness parade and cheer Russell on to the finish, raise your hand!!!

CHANNEL SURFING

"The Office" (NBC, 9:00): In their special holiday episode, Phyllis gets to fulfill her dream of being the office Santa. She turned her request in 11 weeks ago and Jim gave her the all clear. So imagine her anger when Michael shows up decked out in his Old Saint Nick suit yelling "women can't be Santa Claus".

The power struggle continues throughout the Christmas party with Michael heckling Phyllis's performance and revealing everyone's secret Santa. Jim finally forces Michael to leave, but he comes back dressed as Jesus. Not as funny as the "Santa Claus is Coming to Scranton" episode from Season 2, but it still offered some hiliarious lines like this one: "You can't yell out, 'I need this, I need this' as you try to pin an employee to your lap." - Jim, to a pouting Michael.

"CSI:" (CBS, 9:00): I love it when they have quirky cases like this. The fellas kidnap lab tech Henry to celebrate his birthday. They drive to a nearby city only to get run off the road. They make it to the restaurant and see it's been shut down since March, but also discover a dead body inside. There was quite a bit of gross stuff, but that's how I like my "CSI:"! Did anyone else laugh when the Greg, frustrated about not being able to find a phone signal says, "If I can't find a phone I'm going to make one" then he goes off and does some MacGyver-type stuff and fashions a telephone. Not bad for a Level 2 CSI.

CAN I GET A JUDGE'S RULING?: Just an observation, but one would think that NBC execs are watching an awful lot of shows on FOX. First they described their new show, "Sing-Off", as "Glee" meets "American Idol", two FOX network shows. Then they have virtually the same storyline on "Law & Order: SVU" that "Bones" had on talk show hosts inciting people to commit murder. I know "SVU" aired first, but I think that Dick Wolf must have gotten a copy of their script somehow. I'm just saying ...

Big gambles

Thursday was a night full of risk-taking and some of these people didn't know when to fold. Here's what happened:

"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): I told my best friend Jeff that this was the best season of "Survivor" ever to which he replied, "You said the same thing about last season. You say that every season." That just goes to show that even in it's 19th season, "Survivor" manages to bring something new and exciting every year. This season, that excitement comes in the form of a man named Russell.

I know I say it every week, but it bears repeating: I can't believe I'm pulling for a guy I absolutely detested in week one. He has stolen the crown for 'outwit' and will probably skate through to the end. No one else in Samoa is playing the game as hard as he is, and I'm actually impressed at the things he's managed to pull off. Who got the brunt of his conniving ways tonight? I'll tell you that later. First, lets talk about "Survivor Auction"!

Along with the dreaded eat-gross-stuff challenge, the auction is one of the highlights of each season - $500 and no sharing money or food! I think I have figured out the best strategy for playing this game: Bid half your money on the first item, which is usually some sort of food. There's no guarantee that you'll get something better in a later round or that they will reveal what's under the cover. Even better, save your money for that one item that pertains to the game. You never know what kind of advantage you can get from those clues. Jai'son was smart to spend his money on that immunity advantage. It ultimately helped him win safety at Tribal Council. And even though John bid on a clue to the hidden immunity idol that Russell had already found, it still helped him confirm that someone had it. Pause it: Call me crazy, but I wouldn't bid on food items when I'm already starving. Getting a taste of food then going back to bugs and fish would turn my stomach inside out.

At Tribal Council, Shambo was determined the get Dave voted off after he confronted her about her chicken-cooking skills. She's becoming quite the loose cannon and former Foa Squared members would be wise to cut her loose before she does them in. Russell persuades his group to go against her and get rid of John since John now knows he has the hidden idol. Score one more for Russell as John goes down in the 4th blindside. The look on his face was priceless! Well, maybe it was worth the money he spent on that clue! Have fun at jury duty, idiot!

"The Office" (NBC, 9:00): I love me some "Office," Lord knows I do. But tonight's episode crossed the line with a joke that was far worse than anything they have ever done on this show. Ten years ago, Michael promised a bunch of third graders that if they graduated from high school, he would pay their college tuition. Cut to 10 years later and "Scott's Tots" are all ready to matriculate, but Michael Scott isn't quite the millionaire he thought he would be by age 30 ... or 40. "I've made some empty promises in my life, but hands down, this was my most generous," says Michael.

So instead of receiving the college tuition they had worked so hard for, Michael gives them batteries for a laptop (lithium, of course). How cruel is that? As someone who volunteers at a school full of minority students, it was hard watching these kids heap praise on Michael then have him dash their hopes of being college students. Yes, they countered it at the end with the stat that "Scott's Tots" had a higher retention level than other kids, but still ... it was a bad storyline.

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There is no way anyone can eat and watch "Bones" (FOX, 8:00) at the same time. In their defense, they did warn me there was graphic content, but I had to put my spoon down when the flesh started falling off that body. But I don't know what was worse: the fleshless body or the glorified promo for the movie "Avatar". I know it's from 20th Century Fox, but c'mon guys! Enough with the self-promotion! This is "Bones", not "American Idol"!!! FYI: The lab tech guy is in the movie, so I'm sure they are just proud of their co-star.

Good grief

They say laughter is the best medicine. I think crying is too.

"Grey's Anatomy" (ABC, 9:00): This show is at it's best when it brings out raw emotion the way this episode did. Maybe it was because it centered around children, but I was a big, sobbing mass of sob. Ms. McCrybaby. Susie Sob-a-lot. You catch my drift.

Chief Webber forces Arizona to perform surgery on a kid who should have died 2 years ago. His filthy rich parents were donating $25 million to Seattle Grace Mercy West (say that five times fast) to find a cure for their son's disease. Wallace, beautifully played by Khamani Griffin, had been hospitalized for 7 months and on the verge of celebrating his 11th birthday. The surgery is successful but sepsis sets in and Wallace dies. On his birthday. Pause it: You're free to let your tears start flowing now.

I could never be a doctor, let alone a pediatric surgeon. One, I'm not tall enough. Two, how can you treat a kid for an extended period of time and not get attached? Arizona saw a patient when all Chief Webber could see was dollar signs. I completely lost it when she asked the parents if they wanted to see their son, and the mom did her bedtime ritual with him. When she became too overwhelmed with grief, Arizona finished it for her. "You have to do it three times or it won't work" is what Wallace would say. By this time, I had already soaked one sleeve and went to grab the tissues. With all the new cast members and chaos at Seattle Grace, it was nice to get a quiet episode for a change.

What did you think about Webber's tactics? Would you have performed the surgery if you were Arizona? Let's get some laughter in here!! I'm going to ...

"The Office" (NBC, 9:00): Jim and Pam get roped into a double date with Michael and Helene, Pam's mother. When he realizes how old she is, he dumps her over the birthday cake, prompting Pam to avenge her mom's heartbreak. She bullies Michael in to letting her punch him to make her feel better, but when Michael apologizes, she just smacks him instead. Who writes this stuff?

Dwight and Andy try to one up each other in a game of "return the favor". Dwight can be annoying sometimes, but I swear he comes up with some of the most outlandish explanations. When Michael suggest fishsticks are an aphrodisiac, Dwight responds, "You're thinking about deer penis." Again, who writes this stuff?

"Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion: Part 2" (Bravo, 9:00): The peaches were definitely a lot less combative this go 'round. They must have brought out the alcohol. Outside of hearing Kim butcher her own song the most revealing (and a little too much information) moment was Kim announcing that Dwight has a penile implant. I could've gone my whole adult life without ever knowing that. Excuse me while I gouge my eyes out.