Checking in, checking on

Hey Watch Party followers! Now before you start throwing your TV remotes at me, let me explain my absence. See, what had happened was I took a trip home to Arkansas to see my nieces graduate from high school. The two weeks I was away just happened to be the end of the Spring TV season. I watched every finale: "Glee", "Survivor" (Yay, Sandra!), "Grey's Anatomy" (Whoa, crazy Columbine shooter guy!) ... I saw them all. But there wasn't a long enough break in the action for me to write about anything I was watching.

That was May. Fast forward to the summer months when TV is nothing but reality, and my reality is nothing but fantasy. I usually use the summer to catch up on my reading ("Game Change," anyone?), but this summer I thought I'd give dating a whirl. And you know what I've discovered? It eats up a lot of my TV-watching time. It also takes a lot of patience to date a guy who doesn't have cable and his 152,000-inch TV comes with only 10 channels. *Placing remote to temple, pulling trigger* So what does a person with no cable do when they visit a person who has over 200 channels? They surf, of course. We barely get through 5 minutes of one show before he's moved on to the next. And who watches those video channels, anyway? My remote never goes higher than the Encore movie channel!

In any case, he'll be around for awhile which means I have to find a way to balance having a social life with continuing the Watch Party. Oh, no ... no. I don't have a solution right now! I'm working on it. But here are some thoughts on what I have been watching this summer:

"Big Brother" (CBS): The show comes on multiple times a week which means multiple times for ramped up drama. Aside from the lame "saboteur" twist, the show has produced plenty of humor and drama. Who knew the "Kosher King," meek little Andrew, would leave a wake of victims with his vengeful exit speech? Seeing Kristen and Hayden squirm over their reveal showmance was priceless. And producers, can you please tell Rachel to tone it down in the Diary Room? Her "excited voice" is as bad as that dye job. I'm rooting for Britney! The show airs on Sundays, Wednesdays and Thursdays.

"Top Chef: D.C." (Bravo, Wed., 9:00): Why do the judges keep rewarding Angelo for his Asian dishes? To me it shows that that's the only thing he knows how to cook. And shouldn't a top chef have more than soy sauce and sushi under his apron? I'm just sayin'!

"Project Runway" (Lifetime, Thurs., 9:00): Has anyone been paying attention to the commercials for this season? Let's just say they look more like advertisements for a Lifetime movie than a sewing show. The show promised a huge twist, but it failed to deliver. They made it seem as if multiple people would be cut in the first episode when all they did was dump the wrong person for a guy who basically made a Snuggie. The bigger twist is that the show is 90 minutes this season, meaning they won't be replaying it the same night like they usually do. Do us a favor, Lifetime! Save that extra 30 minutes and give us more shots of the actual garments. I don't care to see the designers' faces when their model takes the runway. Oh, and please loose the dark backdrop. You can barely see the clothes if the material is anything other than white. Or is it just me?

"So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX, Wed. & Thurs.): In an effort to revamp the show, the network has taken my favorite summer staple and made a mockery of it. When I first heard they were doing an all-star season, I was excited to see some of the best contestants compete again. But all they did was bring back 3 people I actually remember and a gang of dancers who were voted off their seasons early. I didn't watch the audition rounds so I have no attachment to any of the contestants. The one guy I was pulling for (ballet dancer Alex) was sidelined by an injury just one week after he performed a smokin' hot hip-hop number along side Season 4's tWitch Boss (yes, that's how he spells it). Watch the performance here.

I'll try to do a better job of checking in more often. But I'll leave you with this little nugget in the meantime. Be easy, TV Watch Party crew!

Take a knee

I know I have been so out of the loop on blogging, but I just had to chime in on one of THE best episodes of "Friday Night Lights" (NBC, 8:00) EVER.

"FNL" is already one of the most underrated shows on television and it pains me to think how many people miss out on the goodness that is Dillon, Texas. I have gone through plenty of "favorite shows" during my years of TV watching, but there has never been a show that touches me as deeply as "Friday Night Lights". If you aren't watching it then shame on you. I have Seasons 1-3 if you need to borrow them. In this episode, "The Son", Matt learns that his father died in combat in Iraq, and he's left to shoulder the burden of planning the funeral of a man he barely knew. Pause it: As soon as I saw the Casualty Assistance Officer and Grandma Saracen crying I ran to grab my tissues.

When news spreads around Dillon that Matt's dad was killed, the Taylors rally around the former football star in support. Julie (along with best friend Landry) try to help him through his grief. Tami steps in to help with funeral arrangements and Coach Taylor gives him a shoulder to cry on. With so much attention spent on Matt's grandma, I forgot he even had a father. I remember the episode in Season 1, when his dad shows up and Matt thinks he's there to stay. But it turns out his dad had reenlisted for the fourth time and was leaving Matt to care for his aging grandmother. That's a heavy load to carry for a high school junior. Back then it was obvious that Matt looked at Coach Taylor as a father-figure, so it was even more poignant when he walks Matt home after he reveals how much he resented his own dad.

I've said it before: Anything I see pertaining to the military these days make me tear up immediately. My friend's brother recently returned from Iraq, so watching this episode where there was a military funeral with a 21-gun salute just reminds you how lucky these men are who are get to come home to their loved ones. The Watch Party had completely dissolved into a ball of tears by the time the funeral was over. When Matt grabbed the shovel and began burying his father, I was a complete mess. It wasn't just tears streaming, it was to the point of almost hyperventilating. I haven't been this moved by a show since ... I don't know when I've been this moved by a show!!

In true "Friday Night Lights" form, we get reminders of what it's like to be from a small town and how close-knit the residents of Dillon, Texas are. Having Lyla return for the funeral and seeing Coach Taylor watch Smash play in a televised football game are pleasant little surprises that we get from the writers. It was also very moving to see Tim Riggins, his brother and Landry getting Matt drunk then taking him to the funeral home to see his dad's body, even after the parlor director advised him it was a bad idea. These people care about each other, and I care about them.

Most of the characters on "FNL" undergo some sort of transformation. Tyra went from school tramp to college student. Smash went from arrogant football star to a humble one. And Lyla Garrity went from cheerleader captain to slut to religious zealot back to slut then college co-ed. I think Matt is the only person who hasn't changed. Yes, he was a popular football star, but underneath he has remained the same loving, insecure boy we met four seasons ago. But GEEZ! Can we let up on the guy for a second? Bad things just keep happening to Matt Saracen. It sucks to never see him catch a break. He gave up art school in Chicago to stay with his girlfriend, Julie, only to find out she's applying to colleges all over the country. Now he works at a pizza place and attends a local junior college. Could it get any worse for Matt? Let's just hope they send his character away with a happy ending.

Around the town

• Vince and Luke are still at each other's throats. While the team is starting to turn around, these two are still antagonizing one another. A stolen wallet leads to a brawl in the street which leads to the boys getting arrested and Coach Taylor bailing them out. Pause it: So funny to see Vince handing Luke his wallet back as they pass the streets 5th and Shady.
• JD McCoy is turning into such a prick. I can't believe I was rooting for him last season.
• Vince is named Conference Player of the Week and part of the award is speaking to little kids. His speech to them: "Don't panic, stay cool and get paid." Enough said!
• When did Landry become such a lady's man? The kiss he planted on Jess didn't come from the same guy who was crushing on Tyra for two years before making a move on her. Way to go Landry!

This entry was originally posted in December 2009, after watching it on DirecTV.

Check in

Just quickly checking in to say that yes, I did watch the finale of "Survivor" and yes, I have plenty of thoughts about it. But they'll have to wait until I am no longer surrounded by 12 brothers and sisters and a gazillion nieces and nephews who are all demanding a piece of my attention. Until then, make sure you're watching "Friday Night Lights" (NBC, Fri., 8:00). It's hands down THE BEST SHOW ON TELEVISION!

Bait and switch

My sisters think it's crazy for me to blog while I'm on vacation, especially given all the other things I could be doing besides watching TV. (They have never quite understood my love for all things television). I have only watched about 3 hours of TV in the past 5 days, which for me would be the equivalent of trying to quit smoking cold turkey. But I couldn't let Thursday go by without giving some quick thoughts on "Survivor" (CBS, Thurs., 8:00).

First of all, the episode was nothing more than a glorified Sprint commercial. I guess I was supposed to be looking at how cool the phone was but all I kept thinking was how dirty their hands were while they were handling that shiny phone.

Secondly, I've had just about all I can stand out of Russell. When he called the girls "unappreciative little bitches" after Jerri didn't invite him along on the reward win, I wanted to punch him in the face. I wonder if he talks about his wife and daughters like that when he doesn't get his way. I'm pretty sure it will be him, Sandra and Parvati in the final 3. I'm pulling for Sandra, but I know Parvati has got the game in the bag.

Lastly, that immunity challenge reminded me of the game they played many seasons ago there the castaways had to stand in some weird Chinese contraption holding coins between their fingers. It looked really painful and I don't know that I could've held that position for 17 minutes. Pause it: But I'm certain I could've lasted longer than Colby's 15 seconds. Give that guy a V-8 and send him home.

Parvati wins immunity, foiling Russell's plan to backdoor her out of the game. He immediately sets his sights on Rupert, after giving Colby and Rupert his word that he was with them until the finals. Rupert and Colby vote to get rid of Sandra, who calmly plays the hidden idol. Rupert is shut down and gives the others the stink eye on his way out.

Tune in Sunday at 8 for the finale and reunion show. I can't wait to see Russell lose again. Although, I fear he may shoot himself if he doesn't get the title this time around.

Time out

I'm going to be leaving on a jet plane this week, heading to Arkansas for graduations and such. I'll be checking in periodically (i.e., "Survivor" night), but I'll do my best to have you come over if I see something worth watching.

Sour grapes

I was convicted this week after a coworker (and TV Watch Party attendee) told me that they miss my "Amazing Race" updates because that was their way to keep up with the show. I've taken notes on every episode, but for some reason, I haven't felt compelled to write about it ... until now. It's finale night!

"The Amazing Race" (CBS, 8:00): After last week's elimination of the detectives, I told my Watch Party cohort Mary that I would be OK with Don't Ask, Won't Tell (Dan and Jordan) winning the race if 8 Seconds (cowboys Jet and Cord) didn't come in first. Cut to me a week later completely pissed that the cowboys didn't win. Pause it: I could've dragged out the suspense until the end by giving you a play-by-play of what went down, but at this point it doesn't even matter. The real story is whether or not Dan and Jordan cheated their way into first and if the Sexy Lezzies' finish-line tirade ruined the show. *Checking 'yes' box on the survey*

At the start of the leg, the teams are told to hop a 6,000 mile flight to San Francisco. The teams are all even because the ticket counter doesn't open until 10:45 the next morning. Rewind: That really sucked because Don't Ask, Won't Tell were about 4 hours behind the cowboys. Now this is where it gets dicey: While Jet and Cord slept in line at the ticket counter, Dan and Jordan cut in front of them. The normally calm cowboys were rightly ticked off. "If they wanna drop the gloves, they can drop the gloves," Jet says. Once on the plane, Dan talks a flight attendant into letting them move to empty seats in first class.

There is a lot of buzz about whether moving to first class is cheating, but the rules of the race say you must BUY tickets in coach, but if you are moved or given seats in first or business class, that's OK. As for the cutting in line, that was just effed up. It's one thing to jockey for first place by trying to get tickets on a tight flight, but what Dan and Jordan did was just poor sportsmanship. Yes, they are competing for a million dollars, but what's great about "The Amazing Race" is that teams (for the most part) keep it clean (sort of). Maybe I'm just salty because the cowboys were so nice to the other teams. Good Karma should've been their cab driver on this leg.

For a last leg, the challenges weren't that hard: a 120-foot vertical climb, navigating a virtual world and solving a memory puzzle about eliminations. The virtual world was the most entertaining, only because of the way Cord was yelling out fake instructions while Dan was giving Jordan directions. "Do a back flip!" "Sashay!" "Ballet move!" I had to watch it twice because we were laughing so hard.

Where are Fred and Velma, you ask? They got stuck with an Asian cab driver who didn't understand them yelling at him and each other. "I want to punch you in the face," Caite lovingly yells at Brent. They never could catch up and ended up coming in third behind the cowboys.

At the finish line, the Lezzies are the only team that doesn't clap when Brent and Caite arrive at the check in. Pause it: Shame on usually-super-nice Phil for instigating Carol and Brandy, who are obviously still smarting about being U-Turned. "I don't want to hear 'sorry' from you. You purposely whacked us," Brandy screams. Talk about Debbie Downer! Not only did they have horrible attitudes on the race, but they proved what bitches they are by ruining what should've been a congratulatory moment for those who actually finished the race. Good for Caite for defusing the situation by not letting Brandy have the last word. "I'm the one standing here and not you." Touche.

Even though the cowboys didn't win, at least they left with some class and their integrity in tact, unlike Dan and Jordan, who successfully lived out his life-long dream of running the race, but will now carry the name "Team I Wanted the Cowboys To Win."

Some parting thoughts: If I ever hear the words "C'mon, bro!" again, I will fly to Rhode Island to beat Dan and Jordan with an ugly stick; I find it very ironic that the teams left Shanghai for California and everyone ended up Asian cab drivers.

CHANNEL SURFING
If you get some free time, check out last week's episode of "Medium" (cbs.com). It was quite the mix of time travel and ghost whispering. A fascinating show, indeed.

There's no crying in "Survivor"

What are the chances that as I prepare to go on vacation, I start coming down with something? I think my body senses that rest is right around the corner and is ready to start the vacation before it's actually time. Add that to the guilt I'm feeling for not blogging about "The Amazing Race" and you've got yourself a sickly scribe. For those of you who follow the show, it's 8 Seconds, Don't Ask, Won't Tell and Fred and Velma in the finals. The last leg wraps up in San Francisco on Sunday. Here's a quick recap of ...

"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): Last season, I had a love/hate relationship with Russell. In the beginning I hated him, but by the end of the game I loved the way he was able to manipulate people into doing whatever he wanted. This season? Not so much. It's strictly hate/hate. I hate the way he tries to control women. I hate the way he insults anyone with a face. I hate the way he cockily thinks he's running the show when, in reality, it's Parvati who is outwitting circles around him.

After Candice foolishly voted with the Villains at last the Tribal Council, Rupert and Colby return to camp with a plethora of adjectives to describe her. "Colby and I are on a sinking ship," Rupert says. "There are no other Heroes." His nice-cup finally runneth over and he calls Russell out for being a liar and swearing on his kids' life. "Rupert, I'm a Villain ... I'm here to make your life hell," Russell yells.

When the castaways show up for the challenge, Jeff Probst informs them that it's an immunity challenge. Pause it: It looked like some sort of torture device. Our defense department should take note. The players must stand on an uncomfortable perch, holding up one arm which is attached to a bucket full of colored water. Both Rupert and Parv played the game once before, with Parv winning after lasting for six hours. Probst warns them that he'll be tempting them with food items throughout the challenge. After one minute in, he comes out with a covered tray. Both Sandra and Russell immediately agree to step down before he even reveals the item. Luckily for them it was milk and cookies and not some sort of Samoan delicacy or fish eyes or goat's feet. Another 20 minutes goes by and Colby steps down for doughnuts and coffee. One by one they all step down, leaving Rupert and Parvati to battle for immunity. Rupert and his broken toe (and what looks like the same bandage he's been wearing since day one) can't get comfortable on the perch and falls off after an 70 minutes. Parvati wins immunity.

Before the tribe departs, Probst reads a clue to another hidden immunity idol for everyone to hear. Rewind: I wonder if he did that because of the Danielle/Amanda scuffle last week where the rules were blurry about who owns the clue once it's found. When they get back to camp, everyone scatters to find the "burning bush" the clue spoke of. Pause it: How funny was it that Sandra was actually looking for a bush that was consumed by fire. This is Samoa sweetie, not Israel. Sandra does end up finding the idol and smartly stashes it under a rock to go back and read later. Rupert, knowing his time is almost up, decides to pretend he found the idol. He stuffs a rock in his pants pocket and returns to camp.

When Russell sees the bulge in Rupert's pocket (tee hee) he assumes that Rup has found the idol. "I know what a hidden idol looks like," he says. (Apparently it looks like a rock in your pocket). Russell tells his Villains that they must flush out the idol by splitting the votes between Rupert and Colby. They both opt for writing down Candice's name, which is funny because unbeknownst to Russell, Parv and the Pips want to get rid of Candice, too.

At Tribal Council, Probst probes Candice about her decision to flip to the Villains' side. She reasons that Amanda was next to go no matter how she voted. Colby tells her he's not buying her excuses and wants her to woman up about the real reason she jumped ship. She admits that she did it to advance herself in the game. After the votes are cast, Probst asks if anyone is going to play an idol. Rupert touches his pocket as if he's happy to see it, but alas, he has no idol. After a tight vote, Candice is voted out. Pause it: The Villains rode her hard and hung her up wet. In her parting words, she says, "Karma is a bitch sometimes." No truer words, girl. No truer words.

The castaways return to camp and Russell is furious again. His plan to split the votes was overruled by Parv and now he sees that he's not in control of the game anymore.

The second immunity challenge, is a puzzle race course. The first people to finish each round advances to the next one. The first round is a table maze and Rupert quickly finishes. Useless Colby brings up the rear while Sandra, Russell, Parv and Danielle join Rupert in the next round - a climbing wall. The players are given four pegs to use to get up the wall, but Russ practically runs up the almost-vertical spread. He moves ahead with Rupert and Parvati. The final round is a sliding puzzle. It looks like Rupert is about to escape the chopping block, but Russ comes from behind for the win. Dejected, Rupert says, "The lie of a rock in my pocket is not gonna save me tonight."

When the Villains discuss who they want gone, Parvati stresses that Rupert has to go next. She says that they are still five strong and they have plenty of time to worry about turning on each other. Russell, on the other hand, is worried about the weird bisexual current that's flowing between Parv and Danielle. He says it's supposed to be him and Parvati as a team, not her and Danielle. He wants to break up the happy couple and devises a plan to have them turn on each other. He tells each girl that the other wants to take her out of the game. What he didn't anticipate was Parvati challenging his information. She insists on talking to Danielle to get to the bottom of things. "If you do that, you're out of this game," Russ threatens. Parv counters with, "Don't tell me I can't have a conversation with anyone."

Once the girls talk, they realize that Russ's paranoia is getting the better of him. And now that the ladies know he lied, he's determined to eliminate Danielle. Getting rid of her will insure that Parvati will "stick to him like glue." Parv and Dani need Jerri's vote to make sure their plan to vote off Rupert goes down. She promises that she's sticking to the plan. Pause it: I'm at a loss as to why they didn't see this was a sign to blindside Russell.

This time at Tribal, Probst asks Rupert who's running the show. He says it's Parvati and Russell

who are in control of the game. It seems as if that answer stung Danielle a bit and she counters with the Villains make decisions together. Probst continues to needle Danielle about how things are going around camp. She tries to maintain the "one-big-happy-family" facade, but it crumbles when Jerri admits that camp was a little rowdy. Dani suggests it was just a misunderstanding and that everything is fine. Pause it: Did anyone notice how Danielle looked like Parvati's shadow, saying everything that Parv said 2 seconds after she said it. It was like Tribal Council was in Surround Sound. Danielle gets emotionally over Russell's distrust and starts sobbing. "We've been an alliance since the beginning," she cries. She says she's exhausted and the game is taking everything out of her. She then continues to seal her own fate when she reveals that she's closer to Parvati than Russell is. Cut to Parvati shaking her head and Dani's bonehead move. She basically turned her cards over for everyone to see. While Danielle is digging her grave, Russell is preparing her coffin - he whispers to Jerri to write down Dani's name. She complies and just like that, Danielle is done.

Again I have to ask: What is wrong with the castaways this season? I'm certain that Parvati has bathed in some magical potion that makes everyone fall for her charms. Why else would these people keep falling for her the way they do. The way Danielle was sobbing you would think she had some sort of girl crush on Parv. And Russell. Poor Russell. How devastated is he going to be when he loses this game for a second time? So much for that "Dumb ass girl alliance" comment. Like Candice said, karma is a bitch sometimes.