Watch this, tape that - Thursday

We're over the hump. It's a quick ride down the other side.

8:00
Watch this: "Surviving Survivor" (CBS): The show profiles some of the former castaways and most memorable moments.
Tape that: "Bones" (FOX): This show is taking a more comedic turn, but I'm still enjoying the chemistry among the cast.
See it online: "The Deep End" (ABC): Is anybody watching this?

9:00
Watch this: "CSI:" (CBS): The team investigates the deaths of two high school students.
Tape that: "The Office" (NBC): Dunder Mifflin is sold.
See it online: "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC): Derek begins his new role as hospital chief while Bailey and Meredith's patient awakens during surgery. That's gotta hurt.

10:00
Watch this: "Private Practice" (ABC): A couple have a horrible choice to make when they need to decide which of their two daughters to save with their newborn's blood.
Tape that: "Project Runway" (Lifetime): Now that Ping is gone, who's going to fill the weirdo role?

Watch this, tape that - Wednesday

Here's what's on:

8:00
Watch this: "Super Bowl's Greatest Commercials" (CBS): There's nothing else on. Prep for the weekend.

9:00
Watch this: "American Idol" (FOX): The prelims conclude. Let's get to cutting!
Tape that: "Criminal Minds" (CBS): I've recovered from the whole weird doll episode and giving this show a try again. A con artist turns killer as he slips deeper into mental illness.
Catch it later this week: "Law & Order: SVU" (NBC): Show will most likely repeat on Saturday.
See it online: "Modern Family" (ABC). Gloria needs legal advice.

10:00
Watch this: "Shear Genius" (Bravo): Cause I'm a sucker for reality competitions.
Tape that: "Ugly Betty" (ABC). The network is pulling the plug on "Betty" at the end of the season. See it while you can.
See it online: "CSI: NY" (CBS): The team delves into the world of vampires. What show hasn't jumped on that bandwagon?

Second place is still losing

I'm at least 5 hours behind on my TV watching, so if you miss talking about your favorite shows, feel free to drop me a line. While everyone else is watch the Super Bowl, I'll be watching "24" and "Make It or Break It" online.

"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, 9:00): I can't believe "Loser" had the nerve to go head-to-head against "Lost". Thankfully I was taping "Lost", but that meant sitting through 2 hours of this overblown show. No fast forwarding tonight. Sad face.

The Blue and Yellow teams returned to the ranch to see which pair had lost the most weight after 30 days. The team who wins not only gets immunity, but also has the only vote at this week's elimination. Before the weigh-in, the Blue and Yellow are treated to a last chance workout. Bob calls it a "rite of passage," but it looked like aerobic torture to me. I work out with a trainer and let me tell you - people who do that must have some sort of "mean gene". (Sorry, Dan!) The Blue team loses a combined total of 63 lbs., but the Yellow team smashes them by losing 76 with O'neal losing 51 lbs. of it.

Pause it: This show is so freakin' long and repetitive. I ran to Metropolitan Market to get my free pineapple. When I got back I learned that Jillian had clearly gotten her therapist license since she was going around digging into everyone's psyche. Michael, the lone member of the White team had won immunity and the Pink team had earned a two-pound disadvantage. The saddest part was Metropolitan Market was out of free pineapples.

At the final weigh-in, Michael is on par to break the record for losing 100 lbs. the fastest. He's got 17 more to go to best Rudy from last season. Pink overcame their two-pound deficit by pulling a good number. The Red team was slowly sliding towards that dreaded yellow line and for a second I thought they were going to reap what they had sowed for throwing the first two weigh-ins. But it was John, the last member of the Brown team twins, who got sent home. I really wanted him to make it to makeover week just so I could see what his neck looked like without that beard on it. Thank goodness he had shaved it in the "where-are-they-now" clip.

Last chance rant: Miggy said she had an appendectomy, but it seemed like she went in for a hang nail. Who works out the day after surgery?

CHANNEL SURFING
Some tidbits I learned from the "Teen Mom Reunion" (MTV, 10:00): In the words of Carrie Bradshaw from "Sex and the City," Maci and Ryan are "so over they need a new word for over." Ryan said he sees his son Bentley as an obligation and if Maci wasn't the mother of his child he would never speak to her again. RUDE! ... Amber and Gary got back together and he moved into her apartment. Amber said there's a chance she may be pregnant again and I have to say, she was looking a little preggers in the face ... Catelynn and Tyler are putting off marriage until after college. Baby Carly's adoptive parents sent a letter and pictures and we are able to see her first Christmas and christening. Very touching. ... Farrah is still Farrah and defiant until the end. I was feeling a little sympathy for her at first, but once her mother took the stage with her, she reverted back to her old b!&chy self. No word on the outcome of her mother getting arrested for allegedly choking her.

"American Idol" (FOX, 8:00): The audition stage is almost over and Denver was the next to last stop. The talent turned out in droves and 26 people made it through to Hollywood.

After these messages: I'm loving the new Pemco commercials with the "you go, no you go" guy and the "goat renter" guy. They really hit the Seattle stereotypes right on the head.

Watch this, tape that - Tuesday

FINALLY! It's here! The final season of "Lost" has arrived! God has answered my prayers and brought exciting TV to Tuesday nights.

8:00
Watch this: "The Biggest Loser" (NBC): The eliminated teams return to the ranch after 30 days at home to try to reenter the competition.
Tape that: "Lost: The Final Chapter" (ABC): A series recap looks at the first five seasons. You'll definitely need to watch this before jumping into the premiere.
Catch it later: "American Idol" (FOX). The best clips will be on YouTube.

9:00
Tape that: "Lost" (ABC): Some of you may want to watch it live but beware of the brain crushing twists and turns. I've already seen the first four minutes and I know from experience there will be more than one occasion that you'll wish you could rewind that.

10:00
Watch this: "Teen Mom" (MTV): Dr. Drew chats with the girls and we see where they are now. Since "Lost" is taping, you might as well watch.
Catch it on second run: "The Michael Vick Project" (BET): My curiosity is piqued.
See it online: "The Good Wife" (CBS): Nothing else matters when "Lost" is on. Sucks to be you, Alicia.

Damaged goods

There are a lot of good shows that air on Monday night. The 10 p.m. time slot is jammed packed so it's a freaking juggling act that has me up well past 3 a.m. to catch shows on second run. And I'm getting sloppy with my recording skills. I set my recorder to only tape 4 minutes of "24," so I'll have to watch that online. But I guarantee you it wasn't as good as ...

"Damages" (FX, 10:00): Since I didn't get a chance to blog about last week's episode, let me bring you up to speed:

Patty Hewes, played by Glenn Close (above), has been appointed by the government to recover billions of dollars in stolen assets from the largest investment fraud in U.S. history. Pause it: Think Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme times 5. Patty's former protege/victim Ellen is now working for the District Attorney's office, but she and Patty are still working the same case. The common goal is to bring down the Madoffs ... er, Tobin family and recoup the money for thousands of families.

We already know that Patty's recently appointed partner Tom Shayes is this season's mystery death. It's the who and the why that they haven't revealed yet. We also know the he was a victim of Tobin's Ponzi scheme and that his family lost everything. Tom is still in touch with Ellen, but it's not clear if they are romantically involved. I tend to think not. Tom doesn't seem like the type.

The other mystery is who was behind the wheel of the car that crashed into Patty. This show goes back and forth in time so much that I can hardly tell when we're six months later or in the present. The car is registered to Tom, but I don't really care who was driving it. It was just great to see Patty shaken for once.

I'm loving how they are using a current event as the basis of this season's plot. Most ripped-from-the-headlines shows are poorly done *cough "Law & Order" cough*, but "Damages" has turned Ponzi into a psychological thriller. Who's loving this season? Who's on your short list for Tom's murder?

Great line I heard on "Damages": "You're only as happy as your saddest child." Think on that.


CHANNEL SURFING

• "Men of a Certain Age" (TNT, 10:00): I was happy to see that Joe is still dating Dori. They make a cute couple. I had to laugh at Owen sneaking into the kitchen to eat in the middle of the night because I eat like that too. At least he can blame his sweet tooth on being a diabetic. Mine? I just like to eat.
• On "Hoarders" (A&E, 10:00), one of the subjects was a Houston firefighter. He should have just burned his own house down and started over. And I understand the brotherhood of firemen, so seeing them all willing to help clean was touching, but if I were in that situation I would definitely NOT have my coworkers helping me clean out my place. "Resa, why are you hanging on to this size 8 when you know you're a ..." The horror!!!
• WOW!!! Ryan, played by Jonathan Togo, on "CSI: Miami" (CBS, 10:00) has packed on a few pounds. He looks like he's entering his second trimester.
• "Fantasia for Real" (VH1, 10:00) I don't know who's more useless: Teeny for having no motivation to find a real job, or Fantasia for enabling him to have no motivation to find a job.

Watch this, tape that - Monday

I'm back!!! So sorry for the unplanned hiatus. My laptop got an "attitude adjustment". Too bad it cost me my grocery stipend. Priorities ...

8:00
Watch this: "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" (ABC Family): Unless you're willing to sit through "The Bachelor" (ABC), your pickings are slim.

9:00
Watch this: "Make It or Break It" (ABC Family): Did I not tell you this teen romp is addicting? Payson gets a surprising romantic gesture at school.
Tape that: "24" (FOX): I'm still mad at the writers for having Jack get his face bashed in only to have not nary a drop of blood on him at the end of the hour. It's called continuity people!
See it on second run: "BET Honors" (BET). Show will air again Saturday at 8:00.

10:00
Watch this: "Men of a Certain Age" (TNT): Joe's bookie runs a scam by exploiting his golfing skills.
Tape that: "Damages" (FX): This show travels through time more than that island on "Lost". You'll need to tape it just to keep up.
See it online: "CSI: Miami" (CBS): A killer is set for execution but gets a 24-hour stay after doubt is cast on his guilt.
See it on second run: "Hoarders" (A&E). Sorry that second run is at 2 a.m.
Also on: "Fashion Police" (E!): A recap of Grammy fashion; "Fantasia for Real" (VH1): Dysfunction at it's finest.

The letdown

I get my laptop back. I'm excited to sit down and start blogging again then nothing. NOTHING. ABC gives me nothing to work with.

I wanted to like "Desperate Housewives" (Sun., 9:00), I really did. But the show needs to get rid of Angie Bolen already and move on with the story. The writers have obviously ran out of storylines for Susan and Mike. They have an ex-stripper living with them now. The only couple of interest is Bree and Orson, and even their scenes left me feeling guilty for chuckling at their banter about suicide.

"I forbid this! Do you hear me? You will not be killing yourself!" Bree exclaims. "... If I have to, I will be with you 24 hours a day!" Orson replies, "Well, being bored to death was not how I was planning to go, but we can try it your way." Morbid, I know.

I can usually count on a few laughs from the Scavos, but I'm tired of Tom and Lynette's my-wife-is-a-b#$&h schtick. The whole therapist thing was just time filler.

And do we even need to discuss "Brothers & Sisters" (Sun., 10:00)? This show is so predictable now. Phone conversation leads to dinner at the Walkers where a fight breaks out, thus setting up the plot for the episode. I thought I was watching "Brothers & Sisters", not "24". The best thing from this episode was watching Holly whore herself to get the upper hand on Ojai. Let's get it together writers!

CHANNEL SURFING
The Plavix commercial where the hospital gurney is following the unsuspecting man around is just downright creepy. But sadly, it was the most intriguing thing I saw tonight.