Watch this, tape that - Tuesday

For all of you who have been holding your breath waiting for "Idol" to return, you can exhale now. Here's what's on:

8:00
Watch this: "American Idol" (FOX). Season 9 kicks off with the standard open auditions. If you're tuning in to see new judge Ellen DeGeneres, you've got a few more weeks to go. She wasn't hired until after the audition process. I didn't watch a single episode last season, but me loves me Ellen so I may drop in from time to time. Two hour premiere. (Good Lord help us all!)
Tape that: "The Biggest Loser" (NBC). Time for medical evaluations. As if stripping down and getting on a scale in front of friends and families wasn't embarrassing enough, now the contestants find out that their real age is 53 when they're only 22. Gotta tear 'em down to build 'em back up.

9:00
Watch this: "Independent Lens" (PBS). Takes a look at The Young at Heart Chorus, a senior citizens group who sings unconventional songs. Sounds cute.
Tape that: "How the Earth Was Made" (History). Examining The Ring of Fire, a circle of volcanoes around the Pacific.
Also on: "Frank the Entertainer in a Basement Affair" (VH1). I caught about 10 minutes of this show the other day. If you're coming back for more then I'm officially embarrassed for you.

10:00
Watch this: "Teen Mom" (MTV). I've given up on Farrah having any redeeming qualities. Got my finger on speed dial for Child Protective Services.
Tape that: "Tabatha's Salon Takeover" (Bravo). In the Season 2 finale, the saucy Aussie takes on a failing Illinois salon.
See it online: "The Good Wife" (CBS.com). A high-school quarterback dies from an overdose of painkillers. Also available through On Demand.