New beginnings

Everybody wants a second chance, but does everybody really deserve one? That was definitely the running theme among the shows I watched tonight. From re-launching a career to dating after divorce to decluttering a filthy house, everyone was searching for a new beginning. But not everyone got their happy ending. Here's a rundown:

"Men of a Certain Age" (TNT, 10:00): It's been a long time since a show made me laugh so hard that I cried, but that's exactly what happened while watching this show.

Now don't be alarmed when I say this, but I have never seen an episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" so I wasn't really sure what to expect when I latched on to this show. But Ray Romano's comedic timing and subtle humor makes this a show that will leave feeling entertained. In this episode, Romano's character Joe recounts to his buddies the ups and downs of his first date in 20 years.

Terry, the man-whore of the group, sets Joe up with his friend Dori. It was so funny listening to him tell the story as we got to see how each moment played out. We've all been there before with the clunky first encounter and the stress of picking the right outfit. But to hear this teen-aged conversation between three middle-aged men was priceless. Pause it: Who else winced during Joe and Dori's awkward instant message exchange? C'mon, Joe! Everybody knows it's all about the fantasy.

Joe's nervous energy was so endearing, especially when he forgets Terry's advice and opts for "weird honesty". Instead of lying, Joe decided to tell the truth, no matter how bizarre it would make him look. Forget LOL, I was literally doubled over guffawing during their bungled make-out session. I can't do this episode any justice trying to explain it in my blog and I won't ruin the ending. You gotta see it for yourself online or watch it via On Demand. It's definitely worth a second date!

Some funnies:

• Joe to Terry while shopping for condoms: "How do I know if it's my size?" Terry: "See if they have a fitting room."
• Joe, explaining to Dori his escape plan if the date was going south: "I was going to start a fire in the bathroom and wait for the sprinklers to go off."
• Owen, getting frustrated by the length of the story: "Did you get the black eye by falling asleep and banging your head on the table because the story took too long?"
• Terry: "Joe, I told you not to think!" Joe replies, "I was trying not to."

Question: Do you have an "out" for a bad first date? I can't tell you mine on here, but I'd love to hear about your escape route from a crappy date.

"Hoarders" (A&E, 10:00): Sometimes you have to wonder why people agree to be on a show like this. Or better yet, why producers agree to tell certain stories when it's obvious these people need more that just a cleaning crew. Linda, a 56-year-old from Virginia, says her house is very cluttered. Pause it: That's your first mistake, honey - not recognizing the filth. Clutter is a stack of papers on the dining room table. You've got piles of rotting food and clothes on yours.

Carrie and Jared, Linda's kids are on the verge of severing all ties with their mother because they feel like they're the ones doing the parenting by constantly having to tell her what to do. "If she wants a new life she's gotta get rid of the old," Carrie says. The tension is thick between mother and daughter, and they spend more time arguing than they do cleaning. Even the professional cleaner acknowledges that the family needs therapy before they can tackle a job like Linda's. They wasted 2 days cleaning out her garage only to have her go through all the trash and take most of it back inside the house.

Rewind: The cleaning guy introduced himself as an "extreme cleaning expert". I would argue that being an extreme cleaner would lump you into a category as someone who suffers from an obsessive compulsive disorder of their own. Am I right or am I right people? And I learned about a new disease tonight: chronic disorganization. The guy who sits next to me at work has that same illness. Sorry, Rob. I gotta call it like I see it.

"Fantasia For Real" (VH1, 10:00): Per usual, a recording artist on the verge of releasing a new album decides to do a reality TV show. This time it's "American Idol" Season 3 winner Fantasia Barrino. Pause it: Whatever happened to good old promotional tours and public appearances? Fanny's last album was a flop compared to her 2004 debut Free Yourself, and given her recent financial problems, she's going to need a hit record post-haste.

I'm assuming the show is supposed to show us how Fantasia battles back from the brink of financial ruin, but all it really does is shift the blame to her mooching family. She's supporting six people on one income but the fact that she's without money is her fault, not theirs. As someone who comes from a large family and been used as an ATM a time or two, I know how hard it is to say 'no' to a sibling in need. But if I can't pay my own bills because I'm too busy helping someone else, that's on me. Fantasia needs to get a backbone, especially when it comes to her freeloading brother Joe, aka Teeny. This dude has such a sense of entitlement that he has the nerve to spend the day shopping for Ferraris instead of getting off his ass and looking for a job. I see him landing in the same place that I've relegated Jermaine Jackson: my s#&! list.

"Fantasia" isn't nearly as raw as Keyshia Cole's BET hit "The Way It Is", but you can't deny the girl's got talent. I'll stick around if only to get a preview of her new album, but I'll have the volume at about a 5. Her speaking voice is like listening to those Budweiser frogs: cute at first but gets old after the third time. Oh, and lose the extreme close-ups. If they zoom in any closer you could see Tasia's tonsils.

CHANNEL SURFING
Once again I fell asleep before the ending of "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" (ABC Family, 8:00), but all they do is talk about sex and babies. This show makes it seem like sex is the only thing that teenagers are struggling with today. What about drug use or dealing with school bullies or cheating on tests? It can't all be about sex can it?

"Make It or Break It" (ABC Family, 9:00): Are the writers going to tag team Emily's love interests every other season? At first she was falling for Razor (awful nickname) then he left town and she fell for Damon. But wait! Damon's in a band so he has to move to L.A. so Emily is catchin' feelings for Razor again. Looks like the writing team is running short on ideas.