"Cold Case" (CBS, 9:00): In 2005, an Army recruiter was found shot in an alley just two days before he was set to deploy for Iraq. In the initial investigation, Michael Donley was written off as a disgraced soldier who was shot after robbing a pawn shop. The roundup of suspects included a handful of recruits Donley was helping, along with their angry parents, a cheating spouse and a grieving father whose son died during deployment. Rush and Valens finally figure out he was murdered by one of his female recruits who felt he was deserting her to go off to war. Pause it: She really wanted the Army signing bonus.
It should certainly be clear by now how I feel about soldiers, although this wasn't one of those episodes that tug at the heartstrings. It focused more on the darker side of the Army - asking high school kids to sign up during a time of war. At least this recruiter had some sympathy about what he was doing. "My place is over there with those kids I send," he explained to his would-be killer. I also learned an interesting term from this episode. A "Jody" is a higher-ranking soldier who doesn't go to combat, but stays home and "takes care of" your wife for you. I wonder if they get workman's comp for that.
Rewind: When did Lily Rush get a ready-made family? They just brought the girl's daddy back last season. I don't remember them introducing a half-brother and a stepmom, but now she's sitting down to dinner with them like they have known each other for years. And were they having full-on meal at 2:00 am? I thought so.
"Desperate Housewives" (ABC, 9:00): I knew it was just a matter of time before the writers found a way to work in Teri Hatcher's love of pole dancing as exercise. At the reading of ex-husband Karl's will (he was the character who died last week), Susan was surprised to learn that the man who had cheated on her their entire marriage, left her part ownership of a strip club. Pause it: The Double Ds Gentlemen's Club ... certainly makes me think about exercise. Susan learns from one of the strippers that Mike is a regular at the club and later tries to forbid him from going back. Mike protests that the club is a client of his plumbing business and he won't be told what to do. Cut to Teri Hat ...er, Susan stripping to prove her point. I know TV shows like to give it's actors a chance to show off some of their other skills but c'mon now! Pole dancing? We've seen her do it on Letterman. We've seen her do it on Oprah. What I would really like to see her doing is putting her head inside an oven with the gas on. I'm just saying.
Elsewhere on Wisteria Lane: Tom volunteers to fill in for Lynette while she's recovering from losing the baby, but all she can worry about is not having a job after she gives birth. You know how she likes to wear the pants in the Scavo house ... Bree's minister guilts her into bringing Orson home and taking care of him to atone for her affair with Karl. Orson's initial angry soon turned into contempt and he's planning on running Bree ragged as his personal home-health aide. And in the funniest plot of the episode, Gabby's daughter Juanita learns she's not what she thought she was. "We're Mexican? I thought we were American!" Gabby asks, "How could you not know you were Mexican? We eat Mexican food all the time!" Juanita replies, "We eat Chinese food, too. Does that mean I'm Chinese?" Checkmate.
It's about time this show recognized that the Solis family are the only brown people on Wisteria Lane. Yes, there was that black family a few seasons ago, ironically called the Applewhites, but we all know how that ended! Umm hmm! I wonder what would happen if some Abdullahs moved next door. Now that would be a block party worth going to.
"Brothers & Sisters" (ABC, 10:00): A Watch Party viewer pointed out how this show is becoming more and more like a soap opera each week and after this episode, I have to agree. I can't even remember one plot that was worth remembering other than Holly trying to take down the Walker family. Pause it: That's so "Dynasty" circa 1984. I can still enjoy the show for what it's worth, but there is still one thing that is driving me insane: Justin's facial expressions. Or should I say expression - he only has one and he's making it in this picture. The best part of the show for me was seeing one of my favorite child actors in a small guest role. Khamani Griffin was the cutie pie son of Eddie Murphy in the movie "Daddy Day Care". He was also the little kid on "Grey's Anatomy" that had me sobbing for hours. He was really adorable as Bobby Jr. on the show "All of Us" so I'm hoping he's going to grow into those rabbit teeth he's developing. I guess it's not just seniors who get "long in the tooth."
"The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty" (A&E, 10:00): The show picks up with Jermaine still throwing a tantrum over his failed tribute concert for Michael. Ever the comedian, Marlon quips, "The only thing I know about Vienna is the Vienna sausages we used to eat in Gary." The episode was a revolving door of funny lines so I barely noticed if it had a storyline or not. I don't even have to waste time ragging on Jermaine because his brothers did it for me.
The guys head to a fish market to buy meat for grilling, Jackie points to a bug-eyed fish and says that's what Jermaine's pink eye looked like. Later, Tito marinates the steaks with red wine, even though Muslim convert Jermaine doesn't drink. In his confessional time he say he hopes his brother doesn't see this episode and finishes it off with "As-Salamu Alaykum". Hi-larious! Other funny lines from the show:
- "Y'all are flatter than y'all woman's ass!" - Tito, politely telling his brothers they sound out of tune.
- "Jermaine is right ... when you're doing a 'Jermaine Jackson' record. Right now you're doing a record with the Jacksons." - Marlon, after Jermaine claims they should be trying to sound like him.
CHANNEL SURFING
I guess "Ghost Whisperer" (CBS, Fri., 8:00) must be running out of storylines for Melinda. They already have a professor who can hear ghosts, and now we have Delia's son Ned who is majoring in occult sciences so that he can "sense" them. And when can we get back to the sappy and sentimental "GW"? It's too dark and twisted now.
Casting couch: That was Kadeem Hardison, aka Dwayne Wayne, from 90s sitcom "A Different World" playing the radio DJ in the flashback sequence. It's a different world indeed.
After these messages: If you squint hard enough, the lady in the Crestor commercials looks like Madam Secretary Hillary Clinton ... The previews for ABC's new dramedy "The Deep End" look like "Grey's Anatomy" with lawyers.
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