Bless this mess

I'm baaaaack! Sorry I've been away for so long, but it's taken me a few days to get back on track after traveling the last 2 weeks. I've been in 3 times zones and missed countless hours of TV. I was in the beginning stages of withdrawal. Let's get to it!

"Hoarders" (A&E, 10:00): Had I not designed the page in The Seattle Times with the story about hoarding, I may have missed this second-season premier. "Hoarders" has become A&E's hottest new show and I'm one of those people who got sucked into the vortex of junk these people have accumulated. Tonight's episode featured Augustine, a 68-year-old woman from Louisiana whose house is on the verge of condemnation.

Augustine's children, Susan and 28-year-old Seattleite Jason, are at the end of their rope with mom. Jason was removed from the home when he was in 8th grade and sent to live with his sister - a three day stay that turned into 10 years. Both feel mom chose garbage over raising children and the level of resentment they have towards her is palpable. Neither one of them have an emotional attachment to Augustine and feel they have to help her as a moral obligation.

Augustine wasn't taking the blame for anything (Mom, is that you?). She had excuses coming out the wazoo about how she ended up living in a state of squalor. And the stuff she was saving was ridiculous: diapers, crochet kits ... I had to get up and go brush my teeth when they found her dentures underneath a pile of garbage - and she wanted to keep them!! Augustine is classified as a category 5 hoarder and it did, indeed, look like a hurricane had blown through that house.

This was the first hoarder house that was actually cleaned to the point where you could see the floor. The cleaners removed a total of 8,000 lbs. of trash and even chipped in their own money to buy her a new chair to plop down in front of the TV. Pause it: The last thing this woman needs is a new nesting place. She barely told the men 'thank you' for the hard (and possibly toxic) work they had done.

Do you have any hoarding tendencies? I hang on to receipts and greeting cards, but they don't keep me from finding my bed at night. I'm just saying ...

Happy Thanksgiving

Top 8 Shows I'm Most Thankful For (because 5 was too hard; 10 ... too easy):

8. The Amazing Race

7. The Office

6. Grey's Anatomy

5. Brothers & Sisters

4. Survivor

3. CSI:
2. Glee
1. Friday Night Lights

Top 6 Things I'm Most Thankful For (that really matter):

6. Being employed

5. Some of the most supportive friends anyone could ever want

4. All the struggles that I've endured for the last 6 years, which made me much stronger

3. Jeff Meddaugh, the only person who can make me smile when I'm down

2. Family, especially my nieces and nephews

1. God

With regret

Hey TV Watch Party people! Sorry to say there won't be any "Watch this, tape that" releases this week. I'm still on vacation and this week I'm in Arkansas with family for the holidays. You all know how that goes.

The party will pick up on Friday, November 27, with some thought about the shows I've missed and maybe spill some deets about my trip through NYC ... maybe.

Until then, keep the party going!

Watch this, tape that - Weekend Edition

It's the weekend!!!

FRIDAY
8:00
Watch this: "Ghost Whisperer" (CBS). Aiden befriends the ghost of a girl who died from leukemia.

9:00
Watch this: "Medium" (CBS). Allison is able to predict people's life expectancy using a mysterious pair of glasses.

10:00
Watch this: "White Collar" (USA).
Also on: "20/20" (ABC). Barbara interviews Sarah Palin.

SATURDAY
9:30
Watch this: "DCC: Making the Team" (CMT).

SUNDAY
8:00
Watch this: "The Amazing Race" (CBS). The teams travel to Prague.
Tape that: "2009 American Music Awards" (ABC). It's Taylor's year.

10:00
Watch this: "Cold Case" (CBS). Murder of a Chinese-American teen is reopened.

Fool me twice ...

Just a few thoughts on tonight's episode of "Survivor" (CBS, 8:00) ...

First of all, Oh Em Gee! Russell has become one of the top 3 people to ever play this game. EVER! The guy has found not one, not two but THREE hidden immunity idols with little or no clues. This guy's instinct on where to look for those idols is amazing! Galu members knew the only way they were going to find it was to follow Russell around all day. Even after he managed to shake Dave in a sprint through the jungle, I still didn't think Russ would be able to find a third one. But of course, he did. Now the guy I absolutely DETESTED in the beginning is the guy I'm rooting for.

I was with John in his anger over being volunteered to take the votes. Galu was stupid for not running their plan by him. Besides, who would have volunteered for that? Obviously Dave and Monica were not going to. I don't blame John one bit for flipping, but I would've never guessed that Foa Squared would be winning the numbers game at this point. Pause it: I'm even more surprised that Jaison is still around.

The Tribal Councils from Samoa have been some of the best ever. I can count on one hand the number of tie votes. That made tonight's blindside of Laura that much sweeter. The look on Erik and Kelly's faces from the jury were priceless, but Shambo, you could've contained your glee just a little bit.

For the record, Rupert and Richard are the other two. Must be the Rs.

Watch this, tape that - Thursday

You can watch every one of these shows online! Go out and have fun tonight.

8:00
Watch this: "Survivor" (CBS). After what Russell did last week, you can't miss it.
Tape that: "Bones" (FOX). Booth's grandfather moves in with him.
See it online: "Flash Forward" (ABC).

9:00
Watch this: "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC). Bailey's disapproving father shows up.
Tape that: "The Office" (NBC). Michael heads to New York. Maybe I'll bump into him.
See it online: "CSI:" (CBS). A murder at a bowling alley is investigated.

10:00
Watch this: "Private Practice" (ABC). Cooper gets arrested.
Tape that: "Project Runway" (Lifetime). The winner is announced. They had better call Carol Hannah's name.

Somebody to lean on

See how much I love you?! I'm sitting in Brooklyn, NY at 2:52 am (East Coast Time) writing this blog. There was no way I was going to miss "Glee", even if I am on vacation. But don't fret ... I am doing more than just sitting around watching TV. Later today it's the Brooklyn Museum of Art and a Manhattan comedy club. Here are my thoughts on tonight:

"Glee" (FOX, 9:00): When Mr. Schue made the announcement that the glee club would be doing ballads, I was totally ready to see some killer duets. What we got was crazy stalker crush story where several people were falling for their singing partners. Rachel fell for Mr. Schue after she was forced to pair up with him; Kurt admitted he was in love with Finn ever since the day they met; and even though they are already a couple, Finn professed his love to Quinn and their unborn baby. Too bad he decided to do it in front of Quinn's parents. Her dad kicked her out and she moved in with Finn. Pause it: I soooo wish I could do a cool mash-up with their names, but all I get Quinn ... or Finn. Not nearly as cute as Quick (Quinn/Puck) or Finchel (Finn/Rachel).

And let's just discuss this little love triangle that has quickly turned into a pentagon: Kurt loves Finn who thinks he should love Quinn who's really in love with Puck who was hooking up with Rachel who loves Finn. It'll be interesting to see how this clusterf*#@ plays out now that Puck has confessed to Mercedes that he's the baby daddy. And where was Coach Sue? I didn't chuckle out loud not once during this episode!

Featured songs:
"Endless Love" by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie
"I'll Stand By You" by the Pretenders
"Young Girl" by Gary Puckett (Union Gap)
"Don't Stand So Close to Me" by The Police
"Crush" by Jennifer Paige
"[You're] Having My Baby by Paul Anka
"Lean On Me" by Bill Withers

"America's Next Top Model" (CW, 8:00): Tyra crowns the show's first petite model: 5'7" Nicole Fox. It was a competition of quirky dork vs. girl-next-door, and not since Cycle 3 (Eva vs. Yaya) have I been so torn about who I wanted to win. Of course Laura's southern charm made her the perfect representative for Cover Girl, but Nicole had the best portfolio and you can't be a model if you can't book the job. I'm sure we haven't seen the last of Laura, but right now it's Nicole's time to rip the runway. Rewind: Did it really take Nicole 22 takes to get her commercial down? That's got to be a Top Model record! Are you happy Nicole won or were you a Laura fan?

"In the Spotlight With Robin Roberts: Janet Jackson" (ABC, 10:00): For anyone who has ever lost someone close to them, one of the most painful things in the world is getting that call telling you that some you love has passed away. I tragically lost a niece 2 years ago and I will never forget how hard it was to hear the news over the phone. So I can totally sympathize with Janet Jackson when she spoke about losing her brother and hearing about it first on CNN, then confirmed over the phone. Yes, Michael Jackson was an entertainer but he was also someone's father, someone's brother, someone's friend. To have a death be overshadowed with controversy and suspicion takes away from the grieving process. Janet says she copes by nervously smiling. How sweet is that?

I didn't expect Janet to be very candid and she didn't reveal much that we didn't already know about her. But it was nice to see a member of the Jackson family talk about Michael without trying to cash in on his death (I'm glaring at you Jermaine, LaToya, Joe). Plus, Janet has a really great smile.

I miss you, Roshundalyn.

Watch this, tape that - Wednesday

This is the one day of vacation that I may just be plopped on the couch. Watch Party in New York!!

8:00
Watch this: "America's Next Top Model" (CW). A winner is selected and goes on to star in those useless commercials that air during the show.
Tape that: "So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX). Elimination night

9:00
Watch this: "Glee" (FOX). It's ballad night! Mr. Schue divides the club into pairs for duets, but one kid gets sick.
Tape that: "Law & Order: SVU" (NBC). Benson becomes a murder suspect when her DNA is linked to a biker-gang member's death.
See it online: "Modern Family" (ABC). I like this show and you should too.
Also on: "Criminal Minds" (CBS); "America's Next Top Model" (CW). Highlights from the season.

10:00
Watch this: "Top Chef: Las Vegas" (Bravo). The chefs face off in an elite cooking competition.
Tape that: "In the Spotlight With Robin Roberts: Janet Jackson" (ABC). Janet speaks out about her brother's death.
See it online: "CSI: NY" (CBS); "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" (MTV).

Watch this, tape that - Tuesday

I'm doing a lot of taping while I'm gone. Try and keep up.

8:00
Watch this: "So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX). The Top 14 perform.
Tape that: "V" (ABC). The Visitors get visas. Wonder how long they had to wait for their background checks.
Also on: "The Biggest Loser" (NBC, 8:30). The players get makeovers! Please shave off that guy's beard. I'm sure that's at least 2 lbs.

10:00
Watch this: "Tabatha's Salon Takeover" (Bravo). This L.A. salon just may be too much for Tabatha.
Tape that: "The Good Wife" (CBS). Alicia defends an accused arsonist. When are we going to get back to the cheating husband plot?
Also on: "The Hills" (MTV). I just may run for them tonight.

Empire State of Mind

Your TV Watch Party host is taking a break from blogging as I travel through the Burroughs of New York and spend time in Arkansas with my family for Thanksgiving. I will try to check in when I can, but I can't make any promises. You will, however, get your daily dose of "Watch this, tape that".

Happy Thanksgiving and I'll see you in 2 weeks!!

Watch this, tape that - Monday

Don't ask questions, just do what I say.

9:00
Watch this: "Trauma" (NBC). The teams responds to an accident involving a wedding at sea and a speedboat collision.
Tape that: "Gossip Girl" (CW). Blair tries to get Lady GaGa to perform at a private concert.
See it online: "Lie to Me" (FOX). A teen believes he was kidnapped as a baby.

10:00
Watch this: "CSI: Miami" (CBS).
Tape that: "I Want to Work for Diddy" (VH1). Now that Poprah is back, expect even more yelling and swearing.
Also on: "Jon & Kate Plus 8" (TLC). Penultimate episode. The end is finally near.

Weekend wrap-up

It seems like forever since I last blogged. Since I watch about 30 hours of TV Sunday-Thursday, I try not to turn it on on Fridays and Saturdays. Here are some thoughts about the weekend viewing:


"Ghost Whisperer" (CBS, Fri., 8:00): There was actually a decent plot, but I wish they would get to the gettin' with the Aiden storyline. It's far more interesting to hear a kid talk about the ghosts he sees than it is to see Melinda running all over town half dressed. We've all heard how kids are supposed to have some sort of sixth sense about these things. I just want to know if you're able to talk to spirits, is there ever such a thing as an "imaginary friend"? Rewind: I just realized why Aiden isn't believable as Melinda's son. He's supposed to be a 5-year-old, but his huge front teeth make him look at least 8 or 9. My dental assistant sister says it's normal for some kindergartners to have big teeth, but I want to see Aiden's driver's license! Also, has anybody noticed that ever since J.Love started dating Eli-portrayer Jamie Kennedy in real life, she has more scenes with him than with on-screen hubby, Jim? He came back from the the dead for Melinda and they have her running around with her Eli like they're Fred and Daphne.

"Ugly Betty" (ABC, Fri., 9:00): I hope you guys caught this episode because it was the first time the word "gay" was used in reference to Justin. I've been waiting for four seasons for them to address this topic! It's very telling that as viewers we automatically make assumptions about characters based on stereotypes. I'm pretty sure Justin is gay and just not ready to come out. But I'm basing my conclusion on the googly eyes he made at a male dancer last season, not because of his fierce fashion sense. After being named Homecoming Queen (yes, Queen) Justin turns the joke back on the student body by accepting the crown. When everyone is saying how proud they are, he squashes it with three words: "I'm not gay." Mentor Marc's reply: "Then he's not." I love both Justin and Marc, and it's been really fun watch Marc step in and be Justin's buddy as he transitions through high school. I even detected a bit of adoration slash crush in Justin's eyes when he was asking Marc for advice. I'll definitely be following this storyline to see if Justin gets his heart broken by an unrequited crush.

What do you guys think about Betty's transformation this season? I like this new confidence she has about her, but this physical metamorphosis she's got going on kind of takes away from the charm that is "ugly Betty". I'm guessing America Ferrera is getting tired of the braces. ... OH!! And who thinks Daniel is making a suicide pact and doesn't even know it!! Idiot.

"Medium" (CBS, Fri., 9:00): The most beautiful moment of this show came in the last 2 minutes when it's revealed why a teen aged boy spent his whole life thinking he was someone else. After he was born, his dead father would come to him at night and tell him about his life. ... because only children can see spirits. "Ghost Whisperer" and "Medium" go so well together!!!

Show up and shut up

SPOILER ALERT!! I'm watching "Friday Night Lights" on Direct TV's 101 network so if you're waiting until NBC airs the episodes in 2010, read no further!

Sorry it's taken me so long to post on "FNL". I'm preparing for vacation and the clock has not been on my side. In any case ...

I'm so glad I have access to Direct TV. I would get get down on my knees and kiss it's feet if I were into that kind of thing ... or if it had feet. Direct TV airs the show commercial free and it makes those 44 minutes fly by.

After last week's bonfire of solidarity, Coach Taylor's Lions no longer have uniforms. They set out on a fund-raising mission which was more about building team unity than raising money. The boys had to push a car up and down the street, yelling for the residents of East Dillon to contribute. Little did they know, Coach Taylor was pulling the money from his own pockets and sending Tim Riggins ahead of the car giving money to people to drop into the bucket. Pause it: Can you imagine what it would've done to team morale if they knew the coach was bribing people to give money? When Coach Taylor asks the school principal for money to buy new uniforms, he tells Coach that nobody ever expected him to take the job and he's nothing more than a joke.

Coach Taylor calls in a favor to his friend at Under Armour (nice product placement guys) and asks for more time in paying for the $5,000 order. The rep needs a partial payment of $3,000 so Coach whips out the family checkbook and writes a note that was probably hotter than a whore in church. When Tami asks if he forgot to write down a check in the ledger, he says yeah ... $45 for dry cleaning. He could've at least made it a couple hundred. There are a lot of numbers between 3,000 and 45. After Tami learns the truth, the couple argue in that cute Taylor way, eventually making up after he apologizes.

Poor Luke Cafferty! He's on the verge of getting his clocked cleaned by jealous Vince Howard. Luke is doing everything he can to show the coaches how badly he needs football. He's offense, he's defense, the cheerleader, the mascot and he probably paints the stripes back on the field after each game. Apparently Vince knows nothing about football because during East Dillon's second game, Luke was on his way to scoring the team's only touchdown and Vince misses a block on purpose. Rewind: In pretty much all teeny-bopper football movies, this is how the star player becomes paralyzed. Vince still manages to score a TD after a botched punt, but he'd better watch how he talks to Coach Taylor. That ass chewing Coach gave him was the maddest I've ever seen him. I don't know if his face can get any redder than that.

And finally ... Buddy Garrity's paranoia gets the best of him and he admits to the G.O.B (Good Ol' Boosters) that he did, indeed, tell Coach Taylor about the mailbox. "I put it there, I can do whatever I want with it," he yells. I could not believe it when he told off Joe McCoy, calling him a "cancer" to the Panther team. "You need to polish that ring of yours. It's lookin' a bit tarnished," he quips. I knew it was just a matter of time before Buddy left the fold to follow Coach Taylor. He knows what Eric can do with a football program. (Do you guys mind if I call him Eric?)

I'm really enjoying all the characters they are introducing. Jess, Landry's soon-to-be love interest, is fun to watch and is the complete opposite of Tyra and Lyla. I'm warming up to Luke Cafferty, too. He was a little prick in the first episode, but now that I know his story, I can empathize with him. I was loving Vince on day one, even if his attitude stinks. By bringing in all these new faces, they are trying to distract us from the actors that are about to leave (prep your Kleenex for next week). I appreciate the writers for trying to soften the blow.

Watch this, tape that - Weekend Edition

Here are your best bets for the weekend.

FRIDAY
8:00
Watch this: "Ghost Whisperer" (CBS). A ghost leads Melinda to his murdered body, entangling her in a criminal mystery.

9:00
Watch this: "Ugly Betty" (ABC). Justin tries to make friends after getting advice from Marc.
Tape that: "Medium" (CBS). Ariel starts dating a boy who Allison suspects is a killer.

10:00
Watch this: "White Collar" (USA). I haven't written much about it, but after last week's show it's back on the watch list.

SATURDAY
9:00
Watch this: "DCC: Making the Team" (CMT). It's photo shoot day! How sucky to have your picture made in the uniform and not make the team.

SUNDAY
8:00
Watch this: "The Amazing Race" (CBS). Let's go Globetrotters!!!

9:00
Watch this: "Desperate Housewives" (ABC). After Katherine has her arrested, Susan starts questioning her marriage.

10:00
Watch this: "Cold Case" (CBS). The team investigates the 1991 murder of a girl in foster care.
Tape that: "Brothers & Sisters" (ABC). Ojai await the results from a wine festival.

Changing tides

I'm batting a thousand this week. Last night my power went out and tonight I set my VCR for the wrong channel. I had to wait for ABC to upload the shows. Please forgive me. I have vacation on the brain.

"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): Russell, Russell, Russell! You sly devil, you! I actually found myself rooting for the guy. Anyone who goes out and finds yet another immunity idol without a clue should pass go and head straight to the final two. After returning from Tribal Council, Russell realizes he's in big trouble. He knows his only hope is to find another idol, but Erik took his back to the ponderosa. At least I thought that was the one he was referring to. Rewind: If I remember the rules correctly, once a hidden immunity idol is flushed out it can be put back into play. Kudos to Russell for reading his rule book.

At the reward challenge, Aiga is divided into two teams and the winners are treated to a waterslide and a feast. The purple team (Monica, Dave, John, Shambo and Kelly) wins reward and they later find it comes with a clue to another hidden idol. They all agree to share the information with only Galu members, but by this time, Russell had already found it hidden under a bridge. He confides in Shambo that he's found the idol and she agrees to keep her mouth shut if they can vote off Laura. Cut to Laura smoking her competition at the immunity challenge. Time for plan B.

Russell tell his Foa Squared friends that he has the idol and they should allow Galu to write his name down. Foa will vote for Kelly, he'll play the idol and once the votes cast against him are void, she will go home in a blindside. I held my breath for the entire vote count! It is very rare on this show that someone comes up with a plan and manages to carry it out in such a masterful way. I hated Russ in the beginning but he's definitely won my respect for finding countless ways to outwit his competitors. The idol goes back into play and I can only hope Probst can find a crewmember who's better at hiding that thing. If Russ finds it for a third time I'll know the show is rigged.

Pause it: Even though she's on my fantasy team, Monica has been pretty useless the whole game. The one time she comes up with a good idea (to have a backup plan in case Russell has the idol) her Galu tribe tells her it's impossible that he'd have it. Smooth move guys. Smooth.

"CSI: Trilogy" (CBS, 9:00): When I first heard that the CSI franchise would be doing a crossover event I was really excited. It's been a long time coming and I was excited to see what kind of case would tie the three cities together. MAJOR LETDOWN! Wamp, wamp. Since we're talking about a trilogy, here are the three things I learned from this crossover:

1. Horatio Caine still sucks. He has always sucked and will continue to suck until they shut down the Miami lab. "CSI: Miami" is the weakest of the franchise, but I continue to watch out of brand loyalty.
2. The New York team runs a lot! They are constantly chasing down perps or running after something. They may want to invest in some Segways.
3. Even with it's revolving door of characters, the original "CSI:" is, and always will be, the best of the three. Vegas has the coolest cast, the best cases and the sexiest CSIs. I'm blowing kisses at you, Nick Stokes.

CHANNEL SURFING
On "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC, 9:00), Christina is marking her territory in a pissing contest with the new cardio attending. She's focused on beating the new doctor in the operating room, but she'd better start paying attention because the new "cardio god" wants her man, Dr. Owen. Chief Webber fell off the wagon and decided the best thing is for him to step away from doing surgeries. I wonder if Meredith is going to use Webber's drinking problem as a way to make Derek the new chief.

From what I could see tonight, Meana Irina is going to win "Project Runway" (Lifetime, 10:00) even though her entire line is black, gray and tan. And what is up with all the oversized sweaters and coats they were all designing? You win one challenge with a luxe sweater now everyone is making them. Get inspired ladies!

After school special

As I mentioned before, a power outage prevented me from watching all of my shows last night. But being the dedicated blogger (and TV lover) that I am, I was up watching TV until 7:30 this morning. Here's what I watched before my eyes started crossing.

"Glee" (FOX, 9:00): The World Series kept us apart for so long I almost forgot it was back! I like the little recaps they give us before the show starts. It's a quick little reminder of all the plots they've got going.

I wasn't disappointed in this episode, but I didn't love it either. We all know that "Glee" is not just a show about great singing. It's about acceptance and not being afraid to be different. This episode touched on every sensitive subject you could possibly imagine: teen pregnancy, Down syndrome, people with disabilities and sexuality. Even with all these touchy topics, I expected them to hold their ground and come out swinging. Instead of tackling the subjects with the biting humor that I love, we got a funny, but watered down version of "South Park". Kind of like an after school special.

In this episode titled "Wheels", Mr. Schue wants the club to rally around wheelchair-bound Artie when the school won't pay for a handicap-accessible bus to transport him to regionals. While the group loves Artie, they aren't very sympathetic to his plight, so Mr. Schue makes them all spend three hours a day in a wheelchair and adds a wheelchair number to the program. He then challenges Coach Sue to hold open tryouts for the cheerleading squad and pressures her to choose someone who's not so beautiful on the exterior. Coach throws him for a loop when she picks Becky Johnson, a girl with Down syndrome, to join the Cheerios. He's sure she has an agenda, but the truth is Coach Sue has an older sister with Down syndrome whom she visits on a regular basis. She also writes a check for three new wheelchair ramps for the school.

Pause it: Wow! Sue Sylvester has a sensitive side. It was cool to see her as the good guy for once but I like her surly attitude so I hope she's not too soft for long.

The show has been getting a lot of flack from advocacy groups for people with disabilities. Kevin McHale, who plays Artie, doesn't use a wheelchair so some groups criticized FOX for not hiring disabled actors. Pause it: I'm going to take my chances on getting pelted with rotten tomatoes, but groups like PETA, NAACP, PFLAG and any other initials need to relax! Seriously! First of all, it's just television. Second of all, would you rather have no attention on your cause or can you just shut up and reap the benefits of having your minority group portrayed on TV. I understand why you exist and I applaud you. But for now I need you to sit down and put a sock in it so I can enjoy my shows without a press release on how unfairly you're treated. We all want reparations of some sort. I'll accept mine in the form of an Emmy for this show. Anyway ...

Elsewhere around Glee Club: Kurt and Rachel compete in a "Diva-Off" to see who gets the to sing their favorite song, "Defying Gravity". I didn't like the song (I'm more of a Mariah fan) so I didn't care who won. Quinn is feeling the financial pain of pregnancy and pressures Finn to get a job. With Rachel's help he lands one, but only because he faked being wheelchair-bound and threatened to call the ACLU if they didn't hire him. Good for Finn for stepping up but too bad he's such an idiot. Where's Maury Povich when you need him? Archie and Tina bond over their handicaps. They were making a pretty cute love connection until she reveals that she fakes her stutter. Have you ever faked a disability or illness? I have, but I can't say or else I'd be fired.

Funny lines

• After new Cheerio Becky complains about the tough routine, Coach Sue says, "You think this is hard? Try auditioning for "Baywatch" and being told that they're going in another direction. That was hard."
• Finn, explaining to Coach Schue why they don't have time for a bake sale: "Kids are busier than when you went here. We've got homework and football and teen pregnancy ... lunch."

Featured music
"Dancin' With Myself" - Billy Idol
"Defying Gravity" - Wicked (musical)
"Proud Mary" - Ike and Tina Turner

Watch this, tape that - Thursday

Try and keep up.

8:00
Watch this: "Flash Forward" (ABC). I really want to like this show so I keep tuning in.
Tape this: "Bones" (FOX). Seems like forever since we saw the team. Tonight they investigate the death of a little person who was a well-known wrestler.
See it online: "Survivor" (CBS.com). If CBS weren't so good about posting their shows really fast, I say watch it live. But here you get it virtually commercial free.

9:00
Watch this: "CSI:" (CBS). The trilogy wraps up with Ray searching for a missing girl being held hostage by human traffickers.
Tape that: "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC). Owen recruits a fellow Iraq-war vet to be the new cardio surgeon. I'm sure Christina will have plenty to say about that.
See it online: "The Office" (NBC.com). The rumor mill is crankin'!

10:00
Watch this: "Private Practice" (ABC). A nervous newlywed overdoses on a sexual stimulant. I wonder if Charlotte has anything to do with that.
Tape that: "Project Runway" (Lifetime). Part 1 of 2. The designers head home to work on their collections.

Riding the reality wave

I got my reality check when the electricity went out for almost an hour. Here's yours:

"America's Next Top Model" (CW, 8:00): The four remaining girls learn hula hip-hop and the winner gets a Maui vacation. For the life of me I can't figure out what this has to do with modeling (unless they are trying out for the part of "hoochie" in a Lil Wayne video). Before a Pele (goddess of volcanoes) photo shoot, the models learn that two girls will be going home. I totally called Laura a fresher version of Rachel Hunter before Ty Ty and the judges did. Nicole served up her usual hot plate of fierce and they'll be going head-to-head in an unknown designer's fashion show. Pause it: You'd think with all her clout, Tyra could at least get a big name designer. I think Nicole is going to take it, but I wouldn't mind if Laura wins. Everyone who was happy to see Erin go, raise your hand! Which model are you pulling for?

"So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX, 8:00): For the first time this season the vote is in the hands of the viewers and you guys almost got it right. Almost. The bottom three vote-getters were Ellenore & Ryan, Pauline & Peter and Kevin & Karen. What happened to Mollee and Nathan? They totally should've been in Ellenore & Ryan's spot. We're reminded that America votes for their favorite dancer, not necessarily the best one. Pause it: The best dancer never wins on this show. (I'm winking at you, Will, from Season 4 and Brandon from Season 5). The curse of the quickstep strikes again as Pauline and Peter are sent home. Thank goodness all of the tappers are gone. Good on them for making it onto the show, but seriously ... a tap dancer would never win this competition.

A few thoughts: I wish Nigel would stop comparing this season's dancers to Season 5. We've moved on; you need to as well. ... Was anyone else creeped out by the tall man in the midst of all those young, screaming girls after the commercial break. He looked out of place and kind of perverted.

"Real World/Road Rules Challenge" (MTV, 10:00): Unfortunately for the Challengers, lazy Casey is still around. She is the most useless piece of skin I have ever seen on these challenges. These people came to win money and she's acting like she's at MTV Beach House. The Champions win again and Johanna chooses to battle Sarah in The Ruins saying she could never live it down if she lost to Casey. And even though Cohutta has knocked out two power players, Darrell picks him because he has banked the most money so far. Johanna has been on four of these challenges and this is her first time being in a one-on-one showdown. Pause it: She must've been getting by on her looks because she proved tonight she's not as strong as people have made her out to be. Time to get a real job, Joey. Darrell beats Cohutta and now has the biggest cashpot with $31,000. What's that I see on Darrell's back? Looks like a target.

Watch this, tape that - Wednesday

It's musical mayhem! "Glee" is back and we can celebrate country music!

8:00
Watch this: "43rd Annual CMA Awards" (ABC). Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley host this 3 hour hoedown with performances by Taylor Swift, Daughtry, Tim McGraw and more.
Tape that: "America's Next Top Model" (CW). The final four models are reduced to two.
Get the results online: "So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX.com). It's just a results show. Any dancing highlights will be posted on YouTube. Trust me.

9:00
Watch this: "Glee" (FOX). FINALLY!! It's back! Rachel competes against Kurt for a solo; Quinn's medical bills are piling up.
Tape that: "Criminal Minds" (CBS). Gavin Rossdale guest stars. A serial killer is following a rock star's tour schedule. You could sit this one out and check in on ...
"Law & Order: SVU" (NBC). Stabler's son gets into some serious trouble. Does he have any well behaved kids?

10:00
Watch this: "CSI: NY" (CBS). The trilogy continues as Langston and other Las Vegas lab techs arrive in New York.
Tape that: "Top Chef: Las Vegas" (Bravo). The chefs create breakfast-in-bed dishes and later participate in a hotel-themed challenge.
See it on second run: "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" (MTV, 11:00). As the end approaches, the Challengers want to get rid of Casey, their weakest team member.

They come in pieces ... always

I'm a day late and a dollar short, but I just got a chance to watch Monday's episode of the CSI Trilogy. Add that with the mystery of "V" and I had myself one heck of a night.

"CSI: Miami - Trilogy Part I" (CBS, 10:00): There are so many moving parts to this story, I wish that CBS would've just made a little movie or put all the shows on one night. On the other hand, I guess I could've just saved all the episodes and watched them on the same night. Shruggsies.

When the severed arm of one girl and the leg of another turns up in the Everglades, one of the body parts traces back to a missing girl from Las Vegas. Enter Ray Langston from the Vegas Crime Lab. It's obvious from their video phone conference that Miami has some serious equipment in their lab - holograms, tabletop computer screens ... Are you telling me Langston had to fly all the way to Florida to tell them they should be looking for a butcher? When Langston arrives, he's treated like a rock star. Pause it: That must have been a really good book he wrote.

The body parts start piling up when the CSIs find a foot. After realizing they may have closed two cases, there's still another one open. Time to make that trip to the Big Apple. Rewind: This plot reminded me of a real-life story where feet started washing up on the shores of Vancouver, British Columbia. At least they were wearing shoes. And how cool was it that Horatio gave a shout out to fallen CSI Warrick Brown. Very nice touch to remind us that the Vegas lab is still mourning their friend.

"V" (ABC, 8:00): I'm not one who really gets into shows about aliens, and I can't explain why I have allowed this one to get to me. I was actually scared watching the opening of this episode. It's not the fear of aliens, but the fear of not being able to trust anyone. The show was driving up my blood pressure.

It's anyone's guess who's a V and who's not. I totally missed the big reveal last week when my tall drink of hot chocolate, Morris Chestnut as Ryan, turned out to be a V. He's a good V, though, having fallen in love with a human and working to stop his alien brothers. I'm going out on a limb and guessing that the high priest (the older guy) is a V. He's much to sympathetic to their plight, even for a man of the cloth. I also think most of the FBI are Vs, too. See how I'm freaking out? They said don't trust anyone, and I don't. My buddy Michael pointed out that their hidden skin looks like cavier. It looks disgusting.

Tyler is one day into his job as a V ambassador and he's already dismissed for fighting. They come in peace, always ... remember? Pause it: Tyler is to this show what Kim Bauer was to "24": an annoying nuisance. Drop this storyline quickly please! I had better not see Tyler going on the run with a kidnapped child and fighting off mountain lions.

Does this show freak you out as much as it does me? Who else do you think is part of the Vs?

Reality rundown

I am so proud of myself because I was literally watching three shows at one time tonight. THREE! And I still managed to keep up! It's the little things. Here are the highlights.

So You Think You Can Dance (FOX, 8:00): Adam Shankman talks too much! When FOX announced they were making him a permanent judge I was thinking this could be a nice mix. What I didn't realize is that by giving him a seat on the panel there would be no guest judges. I miss hearing the commentary from the other professional dancers. Shankman just rambles on and on and on ... and on and on and on. He's probably still talking now.

There weren't too many exciting routines. I hate any sort of 70s disco and tonight was the revival of the hustle. I don't know why the choreographers feel the need to throw in all these death lifts and death spins. I hope they throw in some death insurance (and maybe a helmet). I also hate it when they make them dance with props. If it's not a top hat or a stationary chair, they shouldn't be dancing with it. If that prop doesn't work the way it's supposed to, they blame it on the dancers, not the choreographers.

Best routine of the night was the African jazz routine by Noelle and Russell. I wish I had taped it so I could watch it on playback because it was amazing. And as much as I don't want to be a Legacy fan, he is growing in this competition. He totally out-danced his partner Kathryn in their Broadway number. I used to think contemporary dancers had the upper hand on this show, but I'm starting to think it's actually the hip hoppers. Their lack of training makes them much more adaptable. I see Russell and Legacy in the Top 6.


"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, 8:00): In a "Biggest Loser" first, two players are sent home this week. Ali announces that there will be both a yellow line and a red line. The player who falls below the red line will automatically be sent home, and the two players who fall below the yellow line will be put to a vote. Jillian makes it clear to Bob that she wants Shay to stay because Shay needs to stay. Bob wants to make sure Amanda is still around.

At the challenge, Rudy wins immunity and Shay is upset that Rudy didn't help her win. I'm starting to see a pattern with Shay. She wants people to help her win, but she never does anything to help herself. Pause it: Everybody needs to be there, Shay. They just stopped eating before they got as big as you. Don't hate on them for realizing their problem sooner than you. During the workout, Jillian calls Shay out on all her crying. Thank you, Jillian! I thought I was going to have to come out to the ranch and smack her across the face.

At the weigh-in, Shay loses 17 pounds and breaks the record for the woman to lose 100 pounds the fastest. Danny also loses 17 and breaks the 100 pound mark. Daniel's second chance comes to an end as he falls below the red line. It's Bob vs. Jillian for the elimination when both their pet projects, Shay and Amanda, fall below the yellow line. In a stunning vote, the players send Shay packing and she cries her way back to Newport Beach.

CHANNEL SURFING
The bossy Aussie heads to the beaches of Miami on "Tabatha's Salon Takeover" (Bravo, 10:00). Pablo, a 21-year-old salon owner, doesn't even do hair; he just likes the business aspect of owning a business, and he's not even good at that. He owes $19,000 in back rent, is $75,000 in debt and lives off $400 a month he gets from working at a bar.

The salon wasn't the problem in this episode, it was the staff. Color specialist and salon meanie Joy wants upscale clients but dresses like a hooker. The rest of the stylists treat Pablo like he's the shampoo boy, not their boss. Tabatha says Joy looks like "a leather washed up hooker troll doll." OUCH! After Tab whips the place into shape, Allure Salon has a lead stylist in Irina, Joy gets to keep her job and Pablo is able to pay off $6,000 of his debt. "He really filled his big boy pants ... with his balls," Tabatha quips.

Over on "The Hills" (MTV, 10:00), Kristin must really enjoy seconds because she's gone back twice for a helping of boyfriends (for thirds if you believe the tabloids). First she nibbled on Audrina's ex, Justin. Now she's eating of Jayde's plate with a bite of Brody. Pause it: The garbage truck runs on Tuesdays. I'm sure Brody will be sitting in it next week. Both Jayde and Audrina are gluttons for relationship punishment. I'm so over seeing them go "on a break" with their boyfriends only to go running back the next week. At least Kristin has enough self-respect to move on when Justin started acting up. Too bad she moved in the wrong direction.

Heidi and Spencer have only been married for two months and she's screaming about having a baby. Spence, being the loving hubby that he is, immediately goes to a urologist for a consult on a vasectomy. He thinks it's like a faucet that he can turn off and on when he's ready to make a baby. (Clearly, he missed health class that day). I was LOLing when the doctor explained the procedure using diagrams and pictures. Spencer was squirming like his testicles were in a vise-grip. It was like watching a cartoon the way he bolted out of that office. I'm still laughing 3 hours later.

Another mundane Monday

It was a ho-hum night for TV. I can usually get a little bit of excitement from "Trauma" or at least find some whacked out idiot to laugh at on "I Want to Work for Diddy" but they both left me cold. Even the much-talked-about threesome on "Gossip Girl" was nothing more than three people kissing then waking up next to each other. Shame on you GG for getting that parent's group all up in arms. Here's a recap of what happened.

"Trauma" (NBC, 9:00): After a gunfight breaks out and an innocent restaurant patron is shot, Nancy and Glenn arrive on the scene. As they are loading the victim into the rig, the police show up with the apprehended suspect. Sergeant Lyons, a friend of Nancy's, proceeds to bash the perp's head in in front of a gang of witnesses. When Glenn and Nancy are called in to explain what happened, Nancy lies for the cop while Glenn's loose lips sink Sgt. Lyon's ship.

The only good thing about the show was the banter between Boone and fresh-out-the-closet Tyler. He's been dumped by his boyfriend and Boone tries to be the supportive friend. It was all very cute. To get under his skin, Tyler goes into naughty detail about the sexual aspects of being gay, telling Boone, "You haven't been touched 'til you've been touched by a doctor." Cut to Boone nearly vomiting. If NBC really is cancelling this show the last few episodes better be good. It's the least they could do after letting me get invested in a show before snatching it away.

"Lie to Me" (FOX, 9:00): Agent Reynolds's (Mekhi Phifer) past comes back to haunt him when it's revealed he spent two years deep undercover as a criminal. Apparently he became addicted to the lifestyle (and cocaine) and ends up killing a man. Nothing much to see here except a lot of close-ups of an angry Mekhi Phifer. The one thing that made this show interesting is the one thing they hardly do anymore: show famous faces conveying the same emotions that they are trying to decipher. They only gave us one example tonight - defiance - and we get Bill O'Reilly and Saddam Hussein.

Question: Do you think Dr. House and Cal Lightman could be related? They have the same surly look and pompous attitudes. I'm calling FOX to see if they can work in a crossover.

"I Want to Work for Diddy" (VH1, 10:00): The teams must design an ad that embodies the new Sean John logo (which is really just the old logo with a black box behind it). Downtown wins again after Uptown hands in a tacky picture that was nothing but fur and crotch. The loss falls on Nick's shoulders, who had crowned himself King of All-Knowing and he's called down to the carpet, taking loud-mouth Ivory with him. But his self-inflated ego was no match for Ivory and Nick was fired. Thank god cause his attitude made me want to punch him dead in the nose.

Oh yeah, Poprah (Poor man's Oprah) from last season is back. I don't know what it is about VH1 reality shows, but I think voice decibel must be a question on the application. Must every person on this show speak as if they are trying to make a deaf person hear? Take it down a notch people. You're wearing a microphone.

Watch this, tape that - Tuesday

Here are the highlights:

8:00
Watch this: "So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX). The Top 16 perform. (2 hours)
Tape that: "V" (ABC). A "seeker" among the Visitors tracks Erica and the priest. I'm diggin' this show so I hope it doesn't lose it's luster the way "Flash Forward" did.

9:00
Watch this: "Biggest Loser" (NBC). The show actually starts at 8:00 but the first hour is just a lot of sweating and crying. They recap the first hour, so you're just in time to see who gets sent home.

10:00
Watch this: "The Good Wife" (CBS). Alicia finds herself attracted to another man while they work together to defend a law partner's daughter.
Tape that: "Tabatha's Salon Takeover" (Bravo). Tab tries to refurbish a Miami salon. I said tries.
See it on second run: "The Hills" (MTV). Airing at midnight. Spencer contemplates getting a vasectomy. Please, for humanity's sake, go through with that.

Watch this, tape that - Monday

Sweeps are here!! Sweeps are here!! For those of you who don't know what that means, sweeps period is when TV shows cart out their best plot twists, special guest or cliffhangers ... all in the name of charging more for advertising. It's Black Friday for TV. Here's whats on:

8:00
Watch this: "Lincoln Heights" (ABC Family). It's the 2-hour season finale. Cassie tells Charles she wants to go to college in New York. Charles one-ups her by saying he's considering joining the Army.

9:00
Watch this: "Trauma" (NBC). There's only a couple of episodes left. Enjoy them while you still can.
Tape that: "Gossip Girl" (CW). It's the threesome you've all been waiting for. Well, at least the 10 of you who are still watching.
See it online: "Lie to Me" (FOX.com). Someone is lying about something. This time it's staff member Reynolds.
Catch it on second run: "I Want to Work for Diddy" (VH1, 11:00); "Jon & Kate Plus 8" (TLC, midnight).

10:00
Watch this: "CSI: Miami" (CBS). It's the start of the "CSI: Trilogy" as Langston of the Las Vegas crime lab arrives in Miami. You don't want to miss this!

Roll out

Here's your Sunday sampler.

"The Amazing Race" (CBS, 8:00): The competition is the closest it's ever been. The remaining teams have all run good races up to this point and it's really anybody's game. I knew my Globetrotters would still be here, along with Team Chip & Dale (Sam & Dan). I'm a little surprised by some of the others. Most boy/girl pairings would've imploded by now, and Team Dad Doesn't Know Me (father/son Gary and Matt) has the oldest player left in the game at the ripe old age of 47. I guess it's a testament to these couples strong relationships to be able to make it this far without ripping each other's lips off.

Teams make their way to Stockholm, Sweden. When Flight Time announced that it was his birthday I knew it could go either way for the Globetrotters. Either they would get eliminated in dramatic fashion or come in first. At the Detour, teams make their way through a theme park to find the Fritt Fall, a ride that plunges 24 stories in three seconds. Flashback: I rode something similar to this at Disney World in Florida called the Tower of Terror. A part of my stomach is still on that ride. Flight Time didn't even allow himself to scream. That's some self control you got there, partner. Team then must play ring toss for a travel gnome before heading to the Road Block. Pause it: How cute was it that the Globetrotters gave theirs a name?!

After a second Detour that involved explosives, the racers made their way to the Road Block Switchback, a task from a previous season that only one person could perform. When I heard they would be repeating the infamous "needle in a haystack" challenge from season 6, I knew these teams were in trouble. It was one of the most daunting tasks in "Race" history. Teams search a sprawling field of hay bales looking for one of only seven clues. The first time around, one team spent 10 hours searching. Women give birth faster than that!

I was really disappointed in Cheyne (Team Unmarried Married Couple) for making Meghan do the task. Yes, boys and girls are created equal, but he totally punked out on this one. Even Brian paused to think about making Ericka do it, but at least he stepped up. Matt made his dad do the searching, saying dad had been around hay all his life. (Matt is one lazy kid). Chip & Dale were coming apart at the seams. Is it bad that I enjoyed watching them yell at each other? Flight Time got his birthday wish as the Globetrotters came in first. These guys definitely have the best luck, being able to find the clue in less than two hours. Dad manages to find a clue after almost 3 hours and luckily for them, it was a non-elimination leg. Normally I hate those, but Gary totally deserved a second chance after baling all that hay. (Giving Matt the stink eye).

"Brothers & Sisters" (ABC, 10:00): Kitty wants to try alternative medicine and positive thinking instead of chemotherapy. She wants to eliminate all the stress from her life and focus her energy on bringing in good vibes. I know some people won't agree with me, but it was nice, if not heartbreaking, to see someone being vulnerable with cancer. Most of the time we see people get a diagnosis then become all empowered and vow to fight a good fight. I think Kitty's reaction mirrors what most women feel. This questioning of why this happened to her and the uncertainty of her future. When she realized her hair was falling out, she didn't pretend to be strong. She hid in the bathroom and sobbed. Call me pessimistic, but I liked the realism. Kitty does eventually shave her head, but the scene is very muted and not over-the-top dramatic.

As for the rest of the Walker clan, Scotty finds out his parents are separated because his dad cheated; Sarah is worried that her Parisian boy toy is a little too young and Rebecca finds out she's pregnant. When would be a good time to discuss Kevin's hair? Dude is in need of a trim. Seriously!

CHANNEL SURFING
On "Desperate Housewives" (ABC, 9:00), Julie confides in Lynette about her affair with Dominic. Being the good, feisty neighbor/friend that she is, she confronts Dominic and threatens to reveal his secret if he doesn't stay away from Julie. I was pleasantly surprised to see the Scavos sit Julie down like she was their own daughter and school her on her stupidity. It proved how much they value their relationship with Susan.
Rewind the tape: Does Bree really know how to cook or does she just go around borrowing recipes from everybody on Wisteria Lane? Tonight she wanted to use Angie's Italian recipes. Didn't she try to steal a pie recipe from Katherine two seasons ago? It's not really cooking if you have to use a recipe. I'm just saying.

(Online) Channel Surfing

I watched a lot of television via the web tonight. Online TV has to be the greatest invention since real TV.

"Ugly Betty" (ABC, Fri., 9:00): I was beginning to think they had changed the name of this show to "Everybody Hates Betty" with the horrible way she's being treated. Last week she was being tortured by lover-scorned Matt. Now she has to deal with feelings of being replaced by Natalie, Daniel's new assistant slash grief counseling buddy. It sucks that she has to be everyone's go-to person but when she needs a shoulder to cry on, no one shows up for her. Thank God she has a supportive family.

Wilhelmena is being blackmailed to protect her daughter Nico, who supposedly killed her boyfriend. Turns out, she didn't kill anyone. She's using a fake murder plot to get her momma dearest to pay up. Talk about someone not being hugged enough as a child. Willy must have done some pretty awful things for Nico to come after her this way. Too bad her mom is broke. Pause it: This storyline wreaks of Wisteria Lane.

I'm starting to feel a little empathy for Amanda. She wants so badly to be taken seriously. If she would stop worrying so much about Betty's exterior, they could forge a really strong bond together. I know they're getting along much better now, but I don't like to see Betty being dumped on like that.

"DCC: Making the Team" (CMT, Sat., 9:00): I missed the makeovers, but I did catch the girls doing a 16-story free fall into a net. What that has to do with being a cheerleader, I have no idea. But my whole body was shaking as I was watching it. I even let out a scream at one point. One girl says, "Oh my god, it is so much scarier than it looks." Looked pretty darn scary to me, honey! After the Minshew sister mishap, Kaime is asked to join the training camp. She's only ... oh... a MONTH behind the other girls. Kelli says she would've made the cut the first time, but her look was off. Wow. Way to set women back about 50 years. Poor Cathleen gets the ax after being called into the office for the 3rd time.

"Medium" (CBS, Fri., 9:00): Allison is forced to rent a car after someone rams into her parked station wagon. She starts hearing conversations through the car's navigation system, which helps her solve a bank robbery case. See, she doesn't just talk to dead people. And that's why I won't own a car that has a GPS in it. Mapquest is fine by me.

Guess who's coming to dinner

I usually don't watch television on Friday and Saturday nights, but there I had nothing to entertain myself. (Sheepishly glancing at stack of books in my "to read" pile).

"V" (ABC, Tues., 8:00): I'm kicking myself for not taping the pilot when it first aired, and I'm karate kicking ABC in the stomach for waiting 5 days to post it online. That being said, "V" sucked me in as soon as that tall drink of mocha goodness, Morris Chestnut, entered the scene. Give me a minute while I enjoy this hot chocolate.

The show opens with what appears to be an earthquake but is really just 29 spaceships settling over New York and every other major city in the world. No big deal, right? Flashback: The scene looked like it was straight out of "Independence Day". A woman's face appears on the bottom of the ship proclaiming that they come in peace. Anna is the Obama of the visitors (or Vs) and wants to offer everything they know to us earthlings. Pause it: The Vs say they can cure 65 ailments. Do stretchmarks count as an ailment cause I need that remedy. I hope they take insurance. At the end of her speech, people were cheering and clapping. Really people? A SPACESHIP is hovering over your city. You stand there clapping. I'll in church repenting and making sure my insurance policies are up to date.

There were a lot of twists and creepy turns that come to a head at a secret meeting called by a man who says we shouldn't trust the Vs. A gunfight breaks out and I can't tell who's a V and who's a human. The only way to know is by the skull ... humans have one, Vs dont. So far I can see that Erica (Elizabeth Mitchell) and the priest are indeed human. But the rest of these people are a mystery.

This show sets up some very interesting conversation on religion, government and terrorism. Can we trust our government leaders at a time of crisis. How do you know if your next door neighbor isn't part of a sleeper terrorist cell (or an alien)? Does God accept those who only come to him in times of turmoil and for nothing else? I want to know the Vs are and I'm along for the ride on this spaceship!

Funny, funny: During her first broadcast interview, the Visitor High Commander Anna says that they want to offer medical care for everyone. The interviewer slowly replies, "You want universal health care?" (Good luck with that, lady!)

Let's finish it!

SPOILER ALERT!! I'm watching "Friday Night Lights" on Direct TV's 101 network so if you're waiting until NBC airs the episodes in 2010, read no further!

I would so hate to be on Tami Taylor's bad side, but I definitely want her to be my new BFF. She's smart, sassy and not easily intimidated. The way she put the smack down on Joe McCoy and the G.O.B. (Good Ol' Boosters) earned her a spot in my Sister Circle. Pause it: The Sister Circle is an elite club that includes Oprah, Michelle Obama, Karen Walker and Jack MacFarland ("Will & Grace"), Arianna Huffington, Julia Roberts and my BFF Jeff. It's very hard to get in.

Tami is the every-woman character that's hard to come by on TV these days. A working wife and mother of two who floats between both roles effortlessly. She's the kind of mother a daughter tells her secrets to and the woman every man wants by his side at a dinner party. Tami Taylor is who I hope to be when I grow up (but with a better paying job than high school principal).

The action picks up with the fallout of Coach Taylor forfeiting last week's game. The whole team has quit and he's left with nothing. When Landry lays into him about the way he deserted the team, it's one of the rare times we get to see Coach in an unflattering light. Enter Buddy Garrity who squeals that Dillon High's star running back, Luke Cafferty, has a fake address and belongs at East Dillon. When Joe McCoy learns that Luke must transfer, he corners Tami with the threat of the Panthers being stripped of all their state titles won under the leadership of her husband. Tami never waivers and calls him in front of the G.O.B., asking if the men around the table knew their rings were at risk because of Joe's threats.

Coach Taylor calls a special practice for Saturday night and asks Vince to help him put the team back together. In a show of solidarity, they burn their old uniforms and the tapes from the forfeited game. Luke, who is very desperate to play football, even tosses in his Dillon Panthers t-shirt. They decide they're going to "finish it" together. If Vince keeps stepping up the way he did in this episode, I see him becoming a team captain. I thought he was going to be another Smash, but he's going down the path of becoming the next Matt Saracen - the kid with the hard-knock life, but the heart of a champion.

Random thoughts: If Tim Riggins joins East Dillon's coaching staff, do you think he'll change his ways? ... I chuckle every time he encounters someone and they ask, "Aren't you Tim Riggins?" ... Landry Clarke is still one of the most endearing characters on this show. The day he graduates will be the day I hunt down the writers of ths show and beg them to make him a schoolteacher at East Dillon.

Watch this, tape that - Weekend Edition

It's the weekend, baby!

FRIDAY
8:00
Watch this: "Ghost Whisperer" (CBS). Melinda worries about Aiden when he mentions "the shadows"; Jim is suspicious of a colleague.

9:00
Watch this: "Ugly Betty" (ABC). Daniel gets another new assistant and Claire Meade's history with Cal is revealed.
Tape that: "Medium" (CBS). Allison rents an SUV with a radio that allows her to hear real conversations. On Star, this is not.
Also on: "Say Yes to the Dress" (TLC).

10:00
Watch this: "20/20" (ABC). Rihanna speaks out for the first time about her relationship with Chris Brown. The conclusion of her "Good Morning, America" interview.

SATURDAY
9:00
Watch this: "DCC: Making the Team" (CMT). More dancing. More cutting. More crying.

SUNDAY
8:00
Watch this: "Amazing Race" (CBS). The teams travel to Stockholm, Sweden.

9:00
Watch this: "Desperate Housewives" (ABC). Susan suspects Katherine of attacking Julie.
Tape that: "Three Rivers" (CBS). A little boy is crushed by a ride at the fair.

10:00
Watch this: "Brothers & Sisters" (ABC). Kitty wants to try alternative medicine to treat her cancer.
Tape that: "Cold Case" (CBS). I hope they let us in on what's happening to Valens's mom.

Good grief

They say laughter is the best medicine. I think crying is too.

"Grey's Anatomy" (ABC, 9:00): This show is at it's best when it brings out raw emotion the way this episode did. Maybe it was because it centered around children, but I was a big, sobbing mass of sob. Ms. McCrybaby. Susie Sob-a-lot. You catch my drift.

Chief Webber forces Arizona to perform surgery on a kid who should have died 2 years ago. His filthy rich parents were donating $25 million to Seattle Grace Mercy West (say that five times fast) to find a cure for their son's disease. Wallace, beautifully played by Khamani Griffin, had been hospitalized for 7 months and on the verge of celebrating his 11th birthday. The surgery is successful but sepsis sets in and Wallace dies. On his birthday. Pause it: You're free to let your tears start flowing now.

I could never be a doctor, let alone a pediatric surgeon. One, I'm not tall enough. Two, how can you treat a kid for an extended period of time and not get attached? Arizona saw a patient when all Chief Webber could see was dollar signs. I completely lost it when she asked the parents if they wanted to see their son, and the mom did her bedtime ritual with him. When she became too overwhelmed with grief, Arizona finished it for her. "You have to do it three times or it won't work" is what Wallace would say. By this time, I had already soaked one sleeve and went to grab the tissues. With all the new cast members and chaos at Seattle Grace, it was nice to get a quiet episode for a change.

What did you think about Webber's tactics? Would you have performed the surgery if you were Arizona? Let's get some laughter in here!! I'm going to ...

"The Office" (NBC, 9:00): Jim and Pam get roped into a double date with Michael and Helene, Pam's mother. When he realizes how old she is, he dumps her over the birthday cake, prompting Pam to avenge her mom's heartbreak. She bullies Michael in to letting her punch him to make her feel better, but when Michael apologizes, she just smacks him instead. Who writes this stuff?

Dwight and Andy try to one up each other in a game of "return the favor". Dwight can be annoying sometimes, but I swear he comes up with some of the most outlandish explanations. When Michael suggest fishsticks are an aphrodisiac, Dwight responds, "You're thinking about deer penis." Again, who writes this stuff?

"Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion: Part 2" (Bravo, 9:00): The peaches were definitely a lot less combative this go 'round. They must have brought out the alcohol. Outside of hearing Kim butcher her own song the most revealing (and a little too much information) moment was Kim announcing that Dwight has a penile implant. I could've gone my whole adult life without ever knowing that. Excuse me while I gouge my eyes out.

As the tables turn

There were lots of unexpected turns. Blindsides, hook-ups, plot twists ... try and keep up.

"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): Foa Foa is outnumbered 8 to 4 but lucky for them it's merge day! (Pulling out party hats, wine and cheese). The tribes are rewarded with a feast for making it thus far and move onto camp on Galu's beach. Pause it: Why do these people go for wine and beer after being hungry and thirsty for 19 days? Why not drinks some juice or water that doesn't have to be boiled? They renamed themselves "Aiga", which in Samoan means "extended family that lies to you." For all of Foa Squared's losses, they certainly had a plan going into the merge: divide and conquer. Galu revealed the crack between Laura and Shambo, giving Russell the opportunity to campaign for Laura to go.

The immunity challenge is a game of T-ball, and two people get to win immunity: one girl and one guy. Pause it: You mean to tell me you'll let these people wrestle together, but they can't play T-ball? Please!!! It looks like Russell is about the take the win, but it's John who get the W. And of course, Laura wins for the girls because the person that people scheme to vote off is always the one who's a clutch player.

Camp is like a swarm of angry bees as players strategize about who to vote off. Both Russell and Erik have immunity idols and both think they're calling the shots. At Tribal Council, Erik comes down with a horrible case of condescending antagonist, and manages to insult every member of Foa Squared. Jaison calls him out on his arrogance and ultimately has the last word. Erik gets blindsided and is sent packing after (stupidly) not playing his idol. The tribe did manage to flush out Russell's though, leveling the playing field since both idols are out of the game. I wonder how big was Erik's slice of humble pie. Had to be pretty big to satisfy the appetite of his inflated ego.

Rewind the tape: I haven't seen a blindside this good since the girls of "Survivor All-Stars" tricked Ozzy into not playing the idol. Russell is definitely playing the 'outwit' portion of the game but not very well. He tipped his hand to three too many people. Looks like that cocky attitude just may earn him a bed next to Erik at the ponderosa.

"CSI:" (CBS, 9:00): Talk about tables turning. There were so many plot twists in this episode I could barely keep up. Two seemingly unrelated crimes turn out to be connected by a weird revenge plot. A teen-aged boy is brutally beaten, but he refuses help from the CSIs because he doesn't want to admit he was sexually assaulted. Across town, a man is found shot to death in a burned-out electronics store. It was a long, confusing road but the dots connect with the boy being raped by the man found in the store. It was kind of one of those sister's-boyfriend's-brother type stories that lost me when a stripper was thrown in the mix. I still learned something, though: most dust particles contain trace amounts of fecal matter. That's poop.

Despite the loss of some major characters (single tear falling for Grissom and Warrick), the show has managed to stay fresh and hasn't missed a stepped when introducing new players. Instead of forcing us to believe a doctor could become a CSI overnight, they remind us that newbie Langston is still learning. The conversation about him taking multiple classes was a great attention to detail for plot continuity. And how much do I heart Greg and Nick? They are the sexiest nerds on television.

CHANNEL SURFING

• It's Irina, Carol Hannah and Althea heading to fashion week on "Project Runway" (Lifetime, 10:00). Too bad this show is a year old and their fashions are probably already outdated.
• The online commercial during "CSI:" was about a cheesemaker who lets us in on a little secret: cheese is a moldy bacteria with controlled decay. Which proves my point for not liking it.
• Do you think the agent killing himself on "Flash Forward" (ABC, 8:00) will actually alter someone else's outcome?

Watch this, tape that - Thursday

Now back to our regularly scheduled program ...

8:00
Watch this: "Bones" (FOX). The remains of an heir to a controversial chicken farm are found. PETA, you're up.
Tape that: "Flash Forward" (ABC). The agents investigate a Blue Hand club and it's possible link to some suicides.
See it online: "Survivor" (CBS). It's all the fun minus the 2 minute commercial breaks.

9:00
Watch this: "Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion" (Bravo). Part 2 of 2. Kim performs her song ... live. You can't miss this!
Tape that: "CSI:" (CBS). Two crimes that seem unrelated are discovered to be linked by a bizarre revenge plot.
See it online: "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC.com); "The Office" (NBC.com).

10:00
Watch this: "Private Practice" (ABC). The clinic hires a genetics specialist, and Naomi questions the idea of designer babies.
Tape that: "Project Runway" (Lifetime). I keep watching this show even though the outcome is so irrelevant given it was taped a year ago.
Also on: "Real Housewives of Orange County" (Bravo). Season 5 opens with a wilting economy. Welcome to the real world, ladies.