Team Players

Happy Halloween! I don't usually blog on Saturdays but I had to make an exception. I've seen some scary stuff today and we need to talk!

"Ugly Betty" (ABC, Fri., 9:00): This is my first time getting to review the show this season, and I'm happy to say it has maintained the sense of humor that I love so much. I still think Marc and receptionist Amanda have some of the funniest dialogue spoken on television. Betty has undergone a serious transformation, both inside and out. She's speaking her mind, standing up for herself and even wearing more fashionable clothes (even if they are still color uncoordinated). I like this new side of Betty. Let's just hope the writers don't muck it up by giving her a top model makeover.

Betty is falling behind in her duties as junior editor so Marc is made her temporary assistant. Still bitter over losing the position, he goes out of his way to prove she doesn't deserve the promotion. They later find out that Betty won the job in a coin toss, not because she was qualified. Pause it: How sucky would it be to find out you got your job because you were 'tails'? In the end, Marc helps Betty salvage her story (ironically on the 10 worst jobs in New York) from being cut from the edition and she shares her byline with him. Do you think Marc deserved the job over Betty? Do you know someone who's been promoted when you know they aren't qualified?

Who was that?: I barely recognized Jamie-Lynn Sigler ("The Sopranos"). She looks like Angelina Jolie in the movie "Gia"... Yes, that's YaYa from Cycle 3 of "America's Next Top Model". She's making quite a name for herself on the small screen.

"Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team" (CMT, Sat., 9:00): The candidates are fitted for their DCC uniforms and I can't think of anything more frightening than having to try on that skimpy outfit. Most of the girls are a size 4 or 6 but that's not good enough for Mrs. "Yes Ma'am" Kelli Finglass. She wants you to wow her when you put it on. Pause it: I'll wow you, all right, but not in a good way. And FYI Mrs. "Yes Ma'am" Kelli Finglass ... you may have been a size 4 when you made the squad *cough (in 1984)* but you are not one now *cough (size 8).

The girls also had to complete the Power Squad Army Fitness Test, given by DCC personal trainer Jay Johnson. Rewind it: "Wife Swap" fans will remember him from one of the episodes. To make the Power Squad, girls must do 2 minutes of push ups, 2 minutes of sits ups and a 2 mile run, earning 208 points out of 300. One girl missed said she only did 63 sit ups. Pause it: Don't feel bad, honey. Here are my stats - 4 push ups, 8 (and a half) sit ups and a run-walk to the refrigerator.

Three girls get called into the office: Bottom Heavy, Wet Noodle and No Can Dance. I don't know their names but this is how Mrs. "Yes Ma'am" Kelli Finglass talks about them. Noodle is sent home because she lacks performance power. No surprise there since the judges have been dissing her since day one. Next week the candidates take a 16-story leap of faith into a net. I'm sure Mika from "The Amazing Race" would just love this!

Watch this, tape that - Weekend Edition

If you're not going out to Halloween parties, here's a weekend rundown.

FRIDAY
8:00
Watch this: "Ghost Whisperer" (CBS). It's an ode to "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow".

9:00
Watch this: "Ugly Betty" (ABC). Marc is assigned to be Betty's temporary assistant while she works on a story about terrible jobs.
Tape that: "Medium" (CBS). Allison's dreams cast her into a horror movie. Poor Joe isn't getting any sleep tonight.

10:00
Watch this: "White Collar" (USA). I'm going to give the caper another try. Tonight, Neal and Peter infiltrate New York's Fashion Week.

SATURDAY
9:00
Watch this: "Making the Team: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders" (CMT). The candidates try on the infamous DCC uniform. Muffin tops be warned.

SUNDAY
8:00
Watch this: "The Amazing Race" (CBS). The teams race through the Netherlands and take on Dutch dancing.

9:00
Watch this: "Desperate Housewives" (ABC). Bree drifts farther away from Orson as her affair with Karl kicks into high gear.
See it online: "Three Rivers" (CBS). I haven't been watching, but this one sounds like it's worth a look. A school bus crashes and the group rushes to save lives.

10:00
Watch this: "Brothers & Sisters" (ABC). I'm hoping they revisit Holly's lack of funds.
Tape that: "Cold Case" (CBS). Lily and Valens investigate the 1980 murder of a jockey.

Bored by reality

It was a surprisingly mundane night, but I did learn something from a "real housewife": Everybody has a "Pooky 'n 'nem" saved in their cell phones ... just in case something pops off and you need backup. I gotta get me a "Pooky"!

"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): With their chief Russell out of the game, Galu elects Shambo to be their next leader. At the reward challenge, it was wants vs. needs as the survivors played a game of memory for items to help out at camp. Galu redeemed themselves by picking a tarp and a fire-starting kit, foregoing a point for each item they kept. It didn't much matter as they still beat Foa Foa. A great deal of hypocrisy erupts among the women when Shambo chooses to exclude Laura from the reward and send her over to Foa Foa. Ashley whines that Laura is a strong girl and didn't deserve it to be left out. Pause it: They were playing a memory game, but the ladies of Galu must have short ones. Didn't they do the same thing to Shambo ... twice? How about you just be thankful she didn't send you, Twiggy.

At the immunity challenge, Foa Foa leader Mick believes his tribe chief necklace has a hex on it and leaves it back at camp. Too bad he was wrong - Galu gives them another spanking, handing Foa Foa its 8th loss out of 10 challenges. Jaison throws himself under the bus at Tribal Council by saying he gave up during the immunity competition (no $@!&, Sherlock), but the tribe blindsides Liz and just like that, they're down to four. With the merge around the corner, Foa Foa has their work cut out for them. Maybe they should try some Galu's yoga exercises. It couldn't hurt.

"Project Runway" (Lifetime, 10:00): You knew it was going to be a long night for local boy Logan when the designers are told to create a companion piece for their winning looks and he doesn't have a winning look to create a companion piece to. He's allowed to use the gown he made from the first challenge and I knew right then he had cut his last pattern. Not only did he churn out an outfit for Judy Jetson, but he stole part of the look from another designer's previous dress. Pause it: You can't get by on looks alone, buddy. You've got to have some creativity in the greasy-haired head of yours. In his parting words, Logan says he's not a designer for 90% of the population. That means he's designing for the 10% of Americans who have a fear of wearing nice clothes.

Althea snags another win with her jiggly breasted model, and Irina's anger could not be hidden. She accused Althea (in front of the judges) of stealing her over-sized sweater design. I was glad to see someone else besides "Mean Irina" get a victory.

CHANNEL SURFING
On the "Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion" (Bravo, 10:00), the conversation was as dull as Sheree's weave ponytail. The women were extremely defensive and it was very awkward to watch. The fact that Kandi had to explain why she and A.J. weren't together at the time of his death was enough to make me change the channel. Bravo milked that situation for everything it was worth by having her show up just weeks after A.J.'s funeral. Pause it: What was up with Kim bogarting in on Kandi's grief? She was speaking over Kandi like she was the one who'd lost him. The only significant (and I use that word loosely) thing revealed tonight was that NeNe and Kim made up after the alleged choking incident. I'll be tuning in for Part II next week, when Kim "performs" her single "live". That's a party I will not be tardy for.

I learned something very interesting on "CSI:" (CBS, 9:00) tonight. The part of the brain that controls thought and reason sits on top of the part that controls learned habits and repetitive behavior. That is why a person can still brush their teeth and make breakfast with a gaping, near-fatal head wound. See, zombies do exist.

News Break - No more "Trauma"

NBC has decided not to order any more episodes of the freshman medical drama “Trauma.” This was one of my favorite new shows of the fall season, and as usual, NBC comes along and kills a great show. Single tear falling. Thanks, network heads, for once again choosing money over quality TV.

The rest of its original 13-episode order will continue to air on Monday nights, but network officials did not say what would replace “Trauma.” (Look for a silly reality show to take it's place).

Watch this, tape that - Thursday

At least there's one night this week where shows aren't repeats.

8:00
Watch this: "Survivor" (CBS). After Russell's dramatic exit last week, we're getting closer to a tribal merge. Could tonight be the night?
Tape that: "Flash Forward" (ABC). Dominic Monaghan, whom we last saw as Charlie on "Lost", joins the cast.

9:00
Watch this: "CSI:" (CBS). A football coach is murdered and his entire team fall under suspicion.
Tape that: "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC). Derek continues to test Chief Webber's authority as he tackles the case of a lab tech with a tumor wrapped around his spine. Sounds painful ... for Chief Webber.
See it online: "The Office" (NBC.com).

10:00
Watch this: "The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion" (Bravo). Part 1 of 2, because they just can't sum of these ladies in one episode.
Tape that: "Private Practice" (ABC). Violet is already hanging on by a thread and now she has to face her attacker Katie in court.
See it at 11:00: "Project Runway" (Lifetime). It's been a boring season. Don't stress yourself out if you can't stay up to watch.

Everything's a challenge

With "Glee" on hiatus for the World Series, every show was about competing. Don't get me wrong, I love a good match-up, but tonight the competitions were a little uneven. Let's get to it.

"America's Next Top Model" (CW, 8:00): Even Hollywood is feeling the crunch of the recession as Tyra moves the six remaining models to Hawaii instead of somewhere overseas. Pause it: I didn't get the memo about Hawaii becoming a fashion capital, but I'll roll with it. Upon arrival,the girls are taught to surf for a photo shoot. Erin wins the challenge and gets a helicopter ride around the island. The 18-year-old then complains that she wanted a tangible prize like jewelry or a shopping spree, allowing us to see why 21-year-old Brittney hates her so much.

Pause it again: This season has the most dry, vanilla personalities ever to hit the catwalks of "Top Model". Brittney and Nicole are both void of any human emotion. Meanwhile, Erin thinks she's bubbling over with personality when in reality she's as blank as that hair color Tyra gave her. And speaking of hair, Tyra should be ashamed of herself for letting Sundai walk around looking like that. As a black woman and a model, she should know that Sundai's weave needs some more glue on it.

Tyra steps behind the lens again, and in an ode to Hawaii's most famous resident (winking at you, Mr. President) she has the girls made over into biracial women. Nicole has the best picture of the week as a Greek/Mexican woman, while SURPRISE! Erin and Brittney walk the runway to the bottom two. Undeserving Erin gets a pass and Brittney sobs her way back to being a mathematician. Chin up, Britt. With your love of numbers at least you'll be able to add up how you went so wrong in this competition.

"Top Chef" (Bravo, 10:00): Yay! A quickfire challenge I can sink my teeth into! The chefs must make a TV dinner based on popular television shows. Seattle's own, Robin, picks the "Sesame Street" knife and proceeds to make her usual plate of poo that puts her in the bottom two ... again. There's only two women left in the competition, and with Jennifer coming off the hinges and Robin serving up continuous crap, it's any wonder why "Top Chef" didn't do a double elimination just to get rid of them.

For the elimination challenge the chefs get to create a menu for Tom Colicchio's restaurant, Craftsteak Steak House. They all have their proteins picked out then enter vegetarian extraordinaire Natalie Portman to throw a wet blanket over the fire. Pause it: Thank you, rocket scientist Robin for letting us know that vegetarians are people too. The chefs are left scrambling for ideas and flipping coins for ingredients. Robin decides to make something she's never made before while Jennifer puts together a side dish and serves it as an entree. They both end up in the bottom two along with Motormouth Mike, who's ultimately told to pack his knives and go over an undercooked leek. Just watching this episode made me want a big, juicy steak with a ground beef chaser. I do not see converting to vegetarianism in my near future.

"Real World/Road Rules Challenge" (MTV, 10:00): The Challengers are down to just 7 members while the Champions are still stacked at 12. The simmering pot of mangled relationships (Cohutta, KellyAnne, Wes and Johanna) has finally reached its boiling point and Wes wants to go against Cohutta in The Ruins. Veronica finds out her team plans to throw her in against KellyAnne but the plan is shot down when the vote is deadlocked. The whole team then has to vote without discussion. Veronica gets a reprieve and they throw in Ibis instead. She decides to take on Kimberly.

Ibis hasn't proven herself in any of the challenges and probably would've been sent home already if her team wasn't on a winning streak. To make matters worse she shows up at The Ruins looking like she's going to a luau - full make-up, side ponytail and a flower in her hair. In the end, both Kimberly and Cohutta win and Ibis and that egotistical ginger Wes is sent packing. Thank you, Lord!

Watch this, tape that - Wednesday

As we get closer to sweeps period, a lot of shows are moving into repeats. It's a nice chance to watch the shows that I would normally view online.

8:00
Watch this: "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" (ABC). It's Halloween. Be festive!
Tape that: "America's Next Top Model (CW). Tyra and company move to Hawaii where the girls are transformed into biracial models. If I were on this cast I would be pissed. Other models traveled to Italy, London, China, Australia and they get Hawaii?

9:00
Watch this: "Modern Family" (ABC). It's the first day of school, and Jay and Gloria don't see eye-to-eye on Manny's outfit.
Tape that: "Law & Order: SVU" (NBC). The FBI (and Benson's former lover) intrudes on a case.
Also on: "Criminal Minds" (CBS) is a repeat.

10:00
Watch this: "Top Chef: Las Vegas" (Bravo). Now this is my kind of challenge! The chef-testants use television shows to create TV dinners.
Tape that: "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" (MTV). The exes get a little heated. Big surprise.

Twists and turns

Tuesday finally has something to offer with the return of one of my favorites. Now if I could just convince NBC to move "Law & Order: SVU" back to the 10:00 slot, I could call it a night.

"So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX, 8:00): I'm apprehensive about FOX's decision to air this show two months after picking a winner. "SYTYCD" usually airs in the summer, so the network is risking viewer fatigue by putting on a new season so quickly. The dancers are already feeling the stress as they are hit with the same injury curse that has stricken the contestants on "Dancing With the Stars". Billy Bell was removed from the cast after coming down with an illness (I hear it's mono), and Noelle is sitting out this week with a knee injury. To top it off, baseball is interrupting the Wednesday schedule, so the judges, not the viewers, decide who goes home tonight.

The Season 4 cast with Twitch, Katee, winner Joshua and Will has always been my favorite, so I also look for dancers who have personality to match their talent. Here are a few standouts:

• Russell has been my favorite since day one. He's partnered with Noelle, but since she's sidelined with an injury, he's forced to dance the foxtrot with choreographer Melanie LaPatin. I was impressed that he was able to lift that big woman! While the judges said the technique wasn't there, Russell still has that "it" factor.
• Contemporary dancer Kathryn really surprised me in her hip hop routine. Dave Scott constructed the one of the two best routines of the night. Season 2 contestant-turned-choreographer Travis Wall put together a number that had me on the edge of my chair.
• 19-year-old Jakob Karr came out of nowhere. He tackled a Tyce DiOrio Broadway number and was quite impressive.

The judges had the nerve to put Russell and Billy's replacement Brandon in the bottom four. Why pick on the guy who had no partner and the one who was given a day and a half to learn the routine? Ultimately, Brandon never has a chance to unpack and is sent home. For the girls the judges unanimously voted to off Ariana. But I'm under the impression that if Noelle can't return next week, the voted off girl is brought back. See you next week, Ariana.

"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, 8:00): It's head-to-head week and the losers have to weigh in against a member of the opposing team. Blue team wins the challenge and gets to pick the contenders. Bob leads the Black team through a grueling pool workout while Jillian pushes Amanda past her breaking point in the gym. "Why are these contestants so freakin' difficult this season?" Jillian mutters. Black team gets a two pound advantage in their first challenge win, but ends up losing the weigh-in. Blue team's Rudy breaks the campus record for losing 100 pounds in the fastest time (7 weeks). Black sends Abby home when clearly it's Daniel that's weighing their team down - literally. Fast forward: If I was forced to hear how Abby lost her family in a car accident one more time, I was going to rip my eyelashes out one by one. It's not that I didn't feel her pain. I was just tired of feeling it. And I think Shay's plan is to cry the weight off. GEEZ! That heifer cries a lot!

"Monica: Still Standing" (BET, 10:00): Monica Arnold is definitely not the same soft, shy girl I listened to in the early 90s. She's battling her way back from the trauma of seeing her boyfriend commit suicide in front of her and struggling to find the right songs for her new album. I don't think this show will be as good as Keyshia Cole's. Her show was full of raw emotion and family turmoil that there was no denying it's authenticity. "Still Standing" has a chance to be an emotional journey, but right now all the focus is on saving her career. Unless there's an episode that makes me cry, I'll be watching this one when it's on repeat. And just FYI, there is no pole vault event in a triathlon, Rocko.

Watch this, tape that - Tuesday

Not much on tonight, but everything is in 2-hour blocks.

8:00
Watch this: "So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX). You've seen what they can do, now it's time to see what the Season 6 Top 20 can do. I've got my favorites ... do you?
Tape that: "Biggest Loser" (NBC). Derek Jeter visits the ranch and the contestants go head-to-head in the weigh-in.
It'll play again: "Hip Hop Awards '09" (BET). Mike Epps hosts this event honoring hip hop artists in 15 categories. Ice Cube receives the Hip Hop Icon Award. Has anyone warned Kanye?

10:00
Watch this: "The Hills" (MTV). Holly slips deeper into a drunken stupor. It's Spencer and Heidi to the rescue.
Tape that: "Monica: Still Standing" (BET). Series premier that follows 90s singer Monica Arnold. I don't know that she can top Keyshia Cole's show, but I'll give it a look see.
It's a repeat: "The Good Wife" (CBS). It's the one about the stripper claiming she was raped.

Oh, the horror!

I must be losing it because I forgot to set my recorder today. Imagine my horror when I returned home and saw it wasn't taping. Luckily most of the shows I watch on Mondays can be seen online. Gotta love technology ... sometimes.

"Trauma" (NBC, 9:00): It's Halloween in San Francisco and injuries abound! There's chemical burns on a teen prankster, a kid hit by a car while trick-or-treating, and a nightclub fire. Turn on the sirens!

Most of the show focused on Boone and Tyler. Pause it: I'm amazed at the way they carry on normal conversations as they are walking up to all that blood and guts. The EMTs are divided into districts for the Halloween debauchery and these two get sent to the gay district, Castro. Boone is obviously uncomfortable with all the drag queens and openly gay men, so I knew they had to be setting it up to reveal Tyler is gay. After three years of riding together Boone admits he suspected (it was the sideburns), but he never asked. I hope this doesn't completely ruin their camaraderie. They are my favorite set of EMTs so it would be a shame to see Boone ask for another partner over this.

The rest of the show was a little mundane considering the heavy topic between Boone and Tyler. Rabbit continues to surprise me with his soft nature around children. And I won't be surprised when he and intern Diana hit the sheets. Rabbit also taught me something interesting. Halloween may be the night of bizarre injuries but Christmas is the day of domestic violence calls.

Amidst all the chaos there were some funny lines:
Partygoer seeking help for an injured friend: "Help! Sarah Palin's all messed up!" Tyler: "You're preaching to the choir. I don't know how I'm going to fix Sarah Palin."
Marissa to Rabbit, after being assigned an ambulance with broken windows: "It looks like 'Pimp My Ride - The Chris Brown Edition.'"

"Jon & Kate Plus 8: You ask, Kate answers" (TLC, 9:00): Kate responds to viewer questions. We've heard it all before, but there were some surprises. Here is a sampling.

• On what happened to the dogs: She ask Jon to return them to the breeders because she admittedly couldn't meet their needs.
• On how much sleep she gets: Roughly 4 or 5 hours a night. I get the same amount of sleep as a woman with 8 children. Scary.
• Hired help: A full-time babysitter, a girl that helps at night, a house cleaner and a yard crew. It's all about keeping the kids safe, but I'm sure not having to do your own dishes is an added bonus.
• On remarrying: She doesn't want to get married again but doesn't want to be alone either. "Maybe when I'm 73 and a half," she says.
• Money for the kids: There is a healthy (and untouchable) amount set aside for their education.
• Career goals: She says she wants to be on television or be the voice of a cartoon character in a movie. How about you've already become a caricature of yourself, Mrs. Gosselin. For the love of all that's holy, wrap up your 15 minutes and head back to obscurity.

TLC obviously favors Kate or they wouldn't keep giving her these hour-long specials. Next week she sits down for an interview with an NBC reporter. Can I get some "Kate Plus 8 Minus Screen Time?"

For Lori

A friend wanted me to check out this show. Luckily it was already on my to-watch list!

"White Collar" (USA, Fri., 10:00): In the series premier, Matt Bomer plays Neal Caffrey, a sexy and sophisticated, world-class con artist who's been charged for everything from art theft to racketeering. With his talents, he could be one of the country's wealthiest men but all he wants to do is search for his girlfriend who up and vanished. (It's always about a girl). Neal escapes from prison - very easily, I might add - to go searching for Kate but she's blowing in the wind. He's caught by FBI agent Peter Burke, the man who put him in jail in the first place. Neal strikes a deal with the agent: In exchange for his freedom, Neal will help him catch elusive criminal, "The Dutchman". And with the click of an ankle monitor, Neal was free.

Pause it: Who knew it was so easy to get out of jail. Prisoners take note: if you have a special talent, share that with the nearest prison guard. If I were Agent Burke I would be embarrassed that a 2-bit, white-collar criminal could solve cases faster than me. And there was a spark between Burke's wife and Caffrey when he showed up at their house. How much would it suck to lose your wife to the man you put in jail? Not saying that's where this is going, but it could get dicey.

The show looks interesting enough. The relationship between Neal and Agent Burke is humorous, but I don't know if it's enough to sustain a show like this. If the crimes don't get more intriguing, this show could become the next "Prison Break" - good for one season, but not much more than that. I'll stick with it another week or two since there's not much else on on Fridays.

Let me know

Want to recommend a show? Having trouble posting a comment? Got a question or some scoop about your favorite show? Send me a message at tvwatchparty@gmail.com.

Weekend Wrap-up

Let's talk about the weekend. Friday night was full of fear while Sunday was all about being hot - physically and literally. Here's a rundown.

Friday
"Medium" (CBS, 9:00): When Allison hears a baby crying in her dreams, she realizes it's a cry for help from an infant who has been kidnapped. Joe is rightly concerned when Allison is stricken with a bout of baby fever and steals the baby herself once he's found. When she calls Joe to tell him where she's hiding he bluntly says "You already have children, and they don't want to only see you on visitor's day." Pause it: The police stormed in on Alli like she was hiding Elian Gonzalez. Were all the big guns really necessary for a woman who works for the district attorney's office?

It's obvious Joe loves his wife, but I'm amazed he doesn't sleep in a separate bedroom. If my spouse woke me up every night the way Allison does we'd be headed for divorce court. And who calls in the middle of the night and says "I hope I didn't wake you"? Seriously.

Poor Bridgette is suffering with "Jan Brady syndrome". She's horrible at learning to play the clarinet, but baby sister Marie plays perfectly without one lesson. She whines to dad that she's known as "everybody's sister" and I know exactly how she feels. All through high school I was "Kevin's sister". It's always Kevin, Kevin, Kevin! Turns out Marie was just being haunted by a ghost who passed away before finishing a song he was writing.

I'm still angry that CBS canceled so many of my favorite shows, but I like that they are recycling actors from now defunct shows. The baby's mom was played by Abby Brammell from "The Unit".

Saturday
"Law & Order: SVU" (NBC, Wed., 9:00): I missed the show earlier in the week (shaking my fist at TiVo) but I was able to catch it on repeat. I was worried we were going to go down another soap box road but surprisingly, they stuck to the script.

The law: Benson and Stabler are called to the home of a mom who catches her son wrestling naked with a friend. The boy was being molested and as soon as the stepfather entered the scene, I knew he was the culprit. Pause it: How careless of Benson and Stabler to constantly point fingers at people without any foundation. Yeah, the stepdad was creepy but they had no proof of his guilt.

The order: Dad wants to cut a deal upon his arrest and offers to help the cops bust a bigger ring of pedophiles. Enter Our Special Love, a group of child molesters who find nothing wrong with loving prepubescent kids. Rewind: "South Park" did an episode about a group like this called NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Love Association). At first I thought it was a joke but after a quick Internet search, I found it is, indeed, a real group. VOMITING!!! Thankfully, the leader of Our Special Love is sentenced to 3,000 years in jail. Somehow that doesn't seem long enough.

Turn that up: Did we already know Dr. Wong was gay or did he subtly come out just now? It was kind of startling, just like when D.A. Serena Southerlyn asked if she was fired because she was a lesbian. Totally came from left field. And is there ever a time when a 30-year-old man should be sleeping with an 11-year-old girl? I didn't think so. (Passing you the vomit bucket)

Sunday
"The Amazing Race" (CBS, 8:00): The teams are still running around Dubai. CBS must've really liked this location to do two episodes there. I'm just thankful that no teams have fallen into the pattern of making uneducated comments when traveling through foreign countries. The race continued with a row-a-dingy roadblock, a detour of counting gold or building hookahs and a plunge down a six-story waterslide known as the "Leap of Faith".

My favorite team, the Globetrotters, started out at the front of the pack, but quickly fell behind when Big Easy couldn't figure out the combination to his briefcase with the next clue inside. So imagine my surprise when they sped through the detour of measuring out $500,000 worth of gold. I guess there's a difference between being good with numbers and being good at math, no? I love this team because they manage to stay both calm and positive under all that pressure. They didn't even yell at the cab driver when he took them to the wrong location.

It wasn't a good night for Team Saving Ourselves for Marriage, Mika and Canaan. Mika was overcome by her fear of water AND heights so the waterslide was a definite no-go for her. After she refused to complete the task, they were eliminated. Would Mika still be your girlfriend if she possibly cost you a million dollars? Were the Globetrotters wrong for taunting Mika about the slide or is all fair in love and racing? Next stop: The Netherlands!

Geography lesson: The waterslide as located at Atlantis: The Palm resort in Dubai. What a beautiful oasis. The pit stop was on one of the vast beaches surrounding the hotel, Dolphin Bay Beach. I gotta get to Dubai!

"Brothers & Sisters" (ABC, 10:00): Sarah's parisian lover has flown 6,000 miles to see her and she has to stash him away at mom's house when her kids return home a day early. Gilles Marini ("Dancing With the Stars", full-frontal nudity guy in "Sex and the City") plays Luke Laurent and everyone except Nora is taken in by his charm. Of course ABC found a way to work in Marini's dance skills by having him teach Rebecca and Justin a wedding dance. Who knew Rebecca could tango?

Holly finds out she's broke after investing all her money in a Ponzi scheme. All she has left are her stocks in Ojai and her house, which she had better doublecheck to make sure she didn't finance through WaMu. Holly is feeling the pinch after promising Rebecca a dream wedding and she doesn't have enough money to pay for it. See people! You spend the money after the wedding, no on it! Oh, and Kevin and Scotty found a surrogate to carry their baby. She's a pursemaker. I'm going to just roll with that.

Random thoughts: ABC's blatant product placement of the Kindle digital book ... could you be any more obvious? The way everyone was fawning, including Uncle Saul, over Luke getting out of the pool was some of the funniest Walker family dialogue in a long time. Paige went through a growth spurt, but whoever cut her hair should be shot. The Geisha look is not flattering on tweens. Speaking of hair, Kevin is in need of a haircut. No white man should ever try to rock an afro. Lastly, it's great to see some plot follow-through. Did anyone notice recovering drug addict Justin drinking water at dinner while everyone else was sipping wine?

Watch this, tape that - Monday

Here's what's on.

8:00
Watch this: "So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX). The Top 20 dancers are introduced and the audience gets a chance to see their personalities before the competition begins.
Tape that: "Lincoln Heights" (ABC Family). I had given up on this show for a minute, but it's picking back up. Tonight, Tay enters a singing contest held by Trey Songz.

9:00
Watch this: "Gossip Girl" (CW). Chuck finally opens that club he's been squawking about.
Tape that: "Jon & Kate Plus 8" (TLC). Normally I would avoid this mess of a show, but tonight is a full hour of Kate answering viewer questions.
See it online: "Lie to Me" (FOX). Cal's loyalty is tested when an old friend attempts to pull him into some criminal activity. Keep your enemies close ...

10:00
Watch this: "CSI: Miami" (CBS). It's a repeat. Calleigh collapses from severe smoke inhalation.

Watch this, tape that - Weekend Edition

It's Saturday! Go out and see Chris Rock's new docu-comedy "Good Hair". Go to seattletimes.com for movie times and listings.

Sunday
8:00
Watch this: "The Amazing Race" (CBS). I don't know where the teams are going, but I'm along for the ride.

9:00
Watch this: "Desperate Housewives" (ABC). Susan and Katherine finally go at it.

10:00
Watch this: "Cold Case" (CBS). A female pilot's 1944 death is investigated.
Tape that: "Brothers & Sisters" (ABC). The Walkers meet Sarah's new lover. And have dinner. And then a fight.

Watch this, tape that - Friday

Here's what's good.

8:00
Watch this: "Ghost Whisperer" (CBS). Melinda tries to help Eli's patient, who thinks he's being haunted by his sister's ghost.

9:00
Watch this: "Medium" (CBS). You can't watch one ghost show without the other.
Tape that: "Ugly Betty (ABC). One of Hilda's customers helps Betty get the scoop on a top designer.

9:30
See it if you can: "Chris Rock: Never Scared" (Comedy Central). It's from 2004, but the humor is still relevant. Count on Comedy Central to censor the swearing.

10:00
Worth a look: "White Collar" (USA). Series premier; An unlikely partnership forms between a con artist and an FBI agent who have been playing cat and mouse for years. When Neal escapes from a maximum-security prison to find his long-lost love, Peter nabs him once again. Rather than returning to jail, Neal suggests an alternate plan: He'll provide his criminal expertise to assist the Feds in catching elusive criminals in exchange for his freedom. Initially wary, Peter finds that Neal provides insight that can't be found on the right side of the law.

Know your limits

Thursday night television brought a lot of excess: wealth, exhaustion, lesbian kissing. Sometimes people just don't know when to quit, but hospitalization and foreclosure may be a good place to start.

"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): Fifteen days have passed since the contestants landed at Samoa and it's been pouring rain for at least eight. Galu chief Russell works through the downpour while everyone else is trying to keep warm. At the challenge, the tribes learn that win or lose, both teams will be going to tribal counsel and voting someone off. Galu's Russell passes out on top of the puzzle, and at first it looks as though he's just winded. In what Jeff Probst calls "his scariest moment in 19 seasons of 'Survivor'", Russell's heart rate and blood pressure plummets and he faints with his eyes wide open. For the first time in the show's history, a challenge is called, no one wins the reward, and no one gets sent home.

I have a lot of thoughts about what went down tonight. First off, when you know someone is working too hard, even if he is the leader, wouldn't you be a little more forceful in making them sit down and take a break? Even the president takes a vacation. And what was up with offering pizza as the reward. These people have been living in a torrential downpour for a week! Why not offer that tarp that Galu passed on? Lastly, Russell cried like a beeyotch when told the game was over for him. I know people try out for this show multiple times before they finally make it, but I'm 99.9% sure Russell's family would've rather he come home without the million than in a "Survivor" body bag. It's just a game people!

"Project Runway" (Lifetime, 10:00): There are only seven designers left and we're down to the last threads. Tonight's challenge was to create a design based on a location that inspires them. Pause it: Actually, the locations are places that inspire Michael Kors, but you get the point. Local boy Logan is last picked and gets stuck with Hollywood as his locale. He decides to make a pair of skinny jeans and a tank top with suspenders. Give me a minute while I take a nap because Logan is boring me to sleep. That outfit says Fremont, not Hollywood. Irina takes another win with her furry Aspen fantasy and Nicolas is out with a look that was not Greek to me.

"Real Housewives of Atlanta" (Bravo, 10:00): The season two finale served as a wrap up to the first season as we see how the ladies have progressed over the past year (not too far, I must say). Here's where the housewives leave off:

• Lisa and Ed are forced to "restructure" now that Ed's no longer playing in the NFL for $3 million a year. They decide the best thing for them financially is to move into Ed's nine-acre bachelor pad that he's been using as storage. Lisa calls it downsizing. I call it foreclosed property within the next 6 months.
• Sheree finally launches her clothing line She by Sheree. It seemed as if Dwight saved the show, but by fashion-industry standards it would still be considered a hot mess. The clothes lacked cohesion and most of those looks had been done before. If this were "Project Runway" she would be out.
• Kim is still bragging that she's engaged to Big Poppa, but can you be engaged when your fiance is still married? Her song may be number three on the iTunes dance chart, but Kim is still a zero in my book. Who drinks wine at 11 a.m.? I don't even eat eggs that early.
• Newest castmember Kandi was finally able to see some resolution between her mom and fiance A.J., so that makes it even more sad to know he was killed a few weeks ago. Shame on Bravo for not editing out A.J.'s scenes. I like Kandi because was the most relatable woman on the show this season. I hope she can move beyond her tragedy and come back for another season.
• My girl NeNe really disappointed me this season. Instead of being the tell-it-like-it-is diva that I came to love, she came off as an egotistical bitch. I'm glad she was able to get peace in her paternity issue, but her attitude offset my joy for her. Sorry NeNe, it's you that needs to be checked, boo.

CHANNEL SURFING
Maybe I'm not paying enough attention when it's on, but "Flash Forward" (ABC, 8:00) is losing it's luster for me. Tonight's big reveal was that the agent whose flash forward brought about the whole mosaic thing may have been drunk at the time. The only thing I found interesting was the reporter asking the president what he saw in his flash forward. It certainly would've been helpful if this had happened in real life, before we went searching for those weapons of mass destruction. Just keeping it real.

On "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC, 9:00), a burn victim dies in the ER for no apparent reason and the story unfolds from the multiple points of view of the doctors who treated her. Even though the plot was a recycled episode of "ER", this was one of the best episodes they've had in a while. The patient died after one of the doctors missed a simple step in her initial exam, and it made me wonder how many people lose their lives because the doctor didn't check their throats or press on their bellies or look at their pupils. But, the thing that most disturbed me was that Lexie is supposed to have a photographic memory. Why didn't the panel just ask her to recap the whole scene and fill in the blanks using testimony from the other doctors? Just an observation.

Watch this, tape that - Thursday

Hmmm, looks like sweeps is just around the corner as some shows take a break and air repeats. Here's the best of the rest:

8:00
Watch this: "Survivor" (CBS). Another person is medically removed from the game. The previews have already given away who it is, but I'd like to hear Probst's take on it.
Tape that: "Flash Forward" (ABC). Mark goes in front of the Senate to answer questions about the blackout.
See it online: "Bones" (FOX). It's a repeat, but you can find out how Cam became the mother of a teenager. It's a touching episode.

9:00
Watch this: "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC). More heads will roll as a burn victim suddenly dies in the ER and all the residents have to explain themselves to the chief.
Tape that: "The Office" (NBC). Jim and Pam return from their honeymoon to find Michael has an interesting new love interest.
See it online: "CSI:" (CBS). Repeat of Grissom's last episode. See how Langston joined the team.

10:00
Watch this: "Private Practice" (ABC). Violet is still suffering from post-traumatic stress from her attack.
Tape that: "Real Housewives of Atlanta" (Bravo). Sheree's clothing line is finally launched. (Insert She by Sheree joke here).
See it later: "Project Runway" (Lifetime). I know this show was taped a year ago so maybe that's why I don't care about these people. Plus they already got rid of all the good designers.

Healthy competition

The running theme tonight was competition, and I know if I were on any of these shows I would have to pack my knives and be out of the running for New Directions. Let's get to it!

"Glee" (FOX, 9:00): It's more mash-ups as Emma and Ken solicit the glee club to come up with a wedding song. She wants something elegant and traditional while he wants the Thong Song. Mr. Schue struggled to get the tunes to work together and that seemed to be the undercurrent of the show: things not mashing up. You've got football vs. glee, Puck and Rachel, Emma and Ken. A lot of matches made in high school hell. After growing tired of "slushy facials", Finn chooses football over glee club, but returns after a pep talk from Mr. Schue.

I find it very heartwarming the way the "gleeks" stand up for one another. Even though they aren't part of the popular circles, they've carved out quite a niche for themselves. And who knew that Mr. Schue was such a dancer. He has a very Justin Timberlake quality about him ... surprisingly talented but kind of a dork. What do you think of a Rachel/Puck pairing? Could they be the Bobby and Whitney of "Glee"?

Overheard

• Quinn, whining about no longer being popular: "Status is like currency - when your bank account is full you can get away with doing just about anything."
• Kurt, after taking a "slushy facial" for the team: "Someone get me to a day spa, stat!" Then the camera pans to him marching into the girls' bathroom.
• A heartbroken Coach Sue taking her anger out on Mr. Schue: "... And if it's one minute late, i will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark cold night, I will steal away into your home and punch you in the face."
• Kurt with more insight on slushies: "You know why they call them 'slushies' don't you? Because your butt looks like one if you have too many of them."

Featured songs
Bust a Move - Young MC
Thong Song - Sisqo
Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond
I Could Have Danced All Night - from "My Fair Lady"
What a Girl Wants - Christina Aguilera

"Top Chef: Las Vegas" (Bravo, 10:00): For the high-stakes quickfire challenge, the chefs are in a tag team cook-off. Seattle chef Rocky Robin is picked last and she says it's because she's a mom. I think it's because she's a bad cook. As usual, she's on the losing team.

Finally, it's Restaurant Wars! This is my favorite time on "Top Chef" because it really exposes who knows what they are doing and who shouldn't be allowed in a kitchen. The brothers end up on the same team and I haven't seen so much discord between family members since Cain and Abel. Pause it: I really wish the Voltaggio brothers would simmer down. Someone needs to turn the heat down on their fire. I'm tired of watching their rivalry.

Here's my scorecard:
Names: Revolt and The Mission. I don't know who in their right mind would eat at a restaurant called Revolt. That's not a visual I want with my food. Score one for The Mission.
Menu: Mission served practically all meat dishes with no dessert. For Revolt, Robin finally gets something right with her pear dish, as it was a favorite among the judges. At least we know she can make something. Point for Revolt.
Service: Both teams were lacking in front-house service, but Laurine was totally overwhelmed and even forgot to explain the dishes to the patrons. Over at Revolt, Eli came off as confident and chatty and the judges loved his enthusiasm. Match point goes to Revolt.

Laurine was told to pack her knives and I agreed with their decision. But how bad would it suck to lose a cooking show for being a bad hostess and not your cooking abilities. Do you think Laurine should've went home? Are you revolting the Voltaggio brothers?

CHANNEL SURFING
Every time I see the opening of "America's Next Top Model" (CW) I keep wishing Bianca was still in the competition. She had the most striking face and it would've been nice to see a girl with a shaved head win. The models tackle interviews and it's a good thing they are cute (most of them) because speaking is not their forte. Erin gets a big head after winning the challenge then falls apart during her commercial. Laura reveals she's dyslexic and even though the girl with the most face time usually goes home, she manages to stay another week and Rae was out of the running for becoming America's Next Top Model. I wanted Erin to go, but she does take killer photos with that alien makeoverTyra gave her. Who is your model favorite?

On MTV's "Real World/Road Rules Challenge", Walla Walla whack job Tonya gets sent home after smacking Veronica across the face with a backhand that I've only seen give on soap operas and by Rick James. Tonya had about five too many, but it was Veronica who refused to walk away from a volatile situation. I'm not saying she deserved to be hit ... maybe just shaken a little. Challenge veteran Katie was sent packing after losing to rookie Sarah in the Ruins, and Danny lost to Darrell. At least no bodily fluids were exchanged. It's the small things.

"South Park" (Comedy Central) manages to equate wrestling with acting in a Greek tragedy in an episode aptly titled "W.T.F" (Wrestling Takedown Federation). After the kids see a WWE wrestling match, they decide to join a team, but when the coach tries to show them proper techniques they think he's gay and into child porn. The boys start W.T.F. which eventually turns into elaborate theater complete with wine, intermission and playbills. "South Park" continues to be one of the smartest shows on TV, no matter how immature. To take something as silly as WWE wrestling and turn it into a theatrical production ... that's genius at work.

Watch this, tape that - Wednesday

Best night for TV. Here's what's on.

8:00
Watch this: "So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX). The Top 20 dancers are selected. This is the time to pick your favorites as they highlight the dancers' path to making the Top 20.
Tape that: "America's Next Top Model" (CW). The models sharpen their interview skills.

9:00
Watch this: "Glee" (FOX). It's more mash-ups for New Directions Glee Club as the cool kids at school get a taste of their own medicine.
Tape that: "Criminal Minds" (CBS). The team profiles a serial killer who impregnates women then kills them after they give birth.
See it online: "Modern Family" (ABC).
Also on: "Law & Order: SVU" (NBC). You can't see it online, but you can download it or catch it on Saturday repeat.

10:00
Watch this: "Top Chef: Las Vegas" (Bravo). It's restaurant wars!!
Tape that: "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" (MTV). It's the train wreck I can't turn away from.
See it online: "CSI: NY" (CBS). A hip-hop dancer is murdered and the CSIs focus on a long list of rival dancers.

They're all losers

Thank goodness that Tuesdays are so boring. I'm still 8 hours behind.

"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, 8:00): The Blue team unlocked the key to victory and sends the Black team home for a week. I'll admit I got a little teary eyed seeing the contestants reconnect with their families, but I was hoping the Blue team were the ones who would be struggling for the week. I'm still pissed that Wild-Eyed Tracey got a free pass last week.

After a glorified advertisement for Subway, the teams weighed in. Danny managed to lose 15 lbs. by cooking all of his meals at home. It was a smart move and I wondered why other Black team members didn't go that route. Pause it: I know that's not how real life will always be, but you're still in the game and not at home yet. Couldn't you give up eating out for a week? Daniel gained a pound while at home, but it was Dina who was sent packing. I was happy to see she got a makeover once she got home. Her hair was looking super greasy and probably added to her weight on the scale. Now if we can just get Shay to stop crying, I could actually enjoy some of this show.

"The Hills" (MTV, 10:00): It's intervention time for Heidi's sister Holly, who's moved to L.A. and taken the art of drinking to a whole new level. At a party thrown by Heidi's boss, Brent Bolthouse, Holly could be seen doing the robot and carrying on annoying conversations with some of their most important clients. During Holly's "intervention" (if you can call it that when you meet in a Spanish restaurant and the person orders a margarita before even sitting down), Spencer once again comes off as the voice of reason, explaining to Holly that to make it in L.A. she's got to rein it in. Pause it: Why does this keep happening? I really, really dislike Spencer Pratt, but we're four episodes in and he's looking like the only person with any common sense.

Audrina breaks the cardinal rule of dating when she brings up her ex, Justin Bobby, while out with his friend Derek (which is the second rule of dating: don't date the ex's BF). Why do girls keep falling for Justin Bobby? What's his draw? His charm? Audrina was fishing hard for the right answers from Justin and he reeled her right on in with his "No-one-will-ever-compare-to-Audrina" speech. She is such a tool. Can you guess which one? Does anyone think this show is relevant at all? Am I the only one watching since Lauren left?

Quick Hits

Since I was on vacation, I'm just now getting a chance to see some shows from last week. I can't believe I'm about 11 hours behind!!! These are my thoughts on some of last week's highlights.

Friday
"The Oprah Winfrey Show" (KING-TV, 4:00): Mike Tyson comes face to face with Evander Holyfield for the first time since the 1997 ear-biting incident. To see Iron Mike Tyson appear as soft and vulnerable as he did was truly touching. And for Holyfield to come out and heap mounds of praise on him, even after Tyson admitted his first apology was insincere, showed an amazing amount of plain old human decency. This really was all about learning to forgive, forget and let go. Do you believe Mike Tyson is a changed man? I do. Raw emotion like that can't be faked. (Take note Balloon Boy's dad.)

"Ghost Whisperer" (CBS, 8:00): A haunted morgue? Scary. Seeing ghosts? Kind of cool. A dead body coming at you with a scalpel? Now that's just freakin' creepy! It's not even the obligatory Halloween episode and I was thoroughly creeped out. I dozed off watching this show and I kid you not, I was awakened by someone/thing shaking my foot.

Sunday
"Desperate Housewives" (ABC, 9:00): Ana falls for Gabi's ex lover/gardener John and Gabi is forced to come clean about her dirty past with him. Carlos and company suspect Lynette of having a boob job when it's really pregnancy chest. Lynette and Carlos have some weird boss/worker relationship. I know she's friends with his wife, but to flat out ask her about her "implants" was borderline sexual harassment, no? And ABC must really be on a tight budget. Did anyone notice Gabi had on the same shirt in every scene? It was just a different color.

"Brothers & Sisters" (ABC, 10:00): Justin and Rebecca decide on a destination wedding in Hawaii. Kitty undergoes her first round of chemotherapy and makes sister Sarah her "chemo buddy". Sarah keeps Kitty's mind busy by telling her lustful stories of her time in France. I liked how the filming made it look like an old movie, and I loved how Sarah dropped everything to return to her ailing sister's side. (Single tear falling).

Watch this, tape that

I'm back from hiatus, so it's time to turn your TVs back on.

8:00
Watch this: "The Biggest Loser" (NBC). Teams vie for a trip home to visit loved ones. Some forget to pack their new skills learned at the ranch, making it hard for them to make healthy choices.

10:00
Watch this: "The Good Wife" (CBS). A deadly train crash results in the deaths of three engineers, who are then blamed for the accident. They were probably texting.
Tape that: "The Hills" (MTV). It's intervention time for Heidi's sister Holly. Apparently making the switch from small-town Colorado to Hollywood is turning her into a heavy drinker.

Watch this, tape that - Weekend Edition

I'm headed to Sin City and I won't tell if you won't. This should cover you for the weekend.

Friday
8:00
Watch this: "Ghost Whisperer" (CBS). You would think the morgue is one of the safest place for a ghost, but this one is being haunted by a surgeon reliving a failed surgery.

9:00
Watch this: "Ugly Betty" (ABC). The move to Friday nights is the kiss of death for this once-golden comedy. Season 4 opens with Betty settling into her new digs as an associate editor at Mode.
Tape that: "Medium" (CBS).

10:00
Watch this: "Psych" (USA). Shawn's life is in danger. For real this time.

Saturday
I'll be rooting for the Arkansas Razorbacks as they take on the Florida Gators. Woooo Pig Sooie!

Sunday
8:00
Watch this: "The Amazing Race" (CBS). Teams travel to Dubai in the United Arab Emirates where they face extremes of all kinds.

9:00
Watch this: "Desperate Housewives" (ABC). Bree comes to Katherine's aid in matters of love.

10:00
Watch this: "Cold Case" (CBS). The 1970 murder of a pioneer musician is reopened.
Tape that: "Brothers & Sisters" (ABC). Sarah returns from France with tales of love and romance. It's about time the Walkers had some fun.

Before I break

It's my last post before I get away for the weekend. I thought about blowing it off, but you know I love me some Thursday primetime.

"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): UGH! It's the gross food challenge week! This is one of my least favorite things to see on this show besides emaciated girls in swimsuits. I haven't been able to sit through one of these since they were made to drink cow's blood on "Survivor: Africa".

The game was played roulette style - whatever the ball lands on goes into the blender. Jellyfish and milk, anyone? How about a glass of sea slug guts and water? You drink the shake, you win the steak. After Ashley was unable to chug hers down, Galu wins reward. Downer for Shambo, who is sent home with Foa Foa and doesn't get to partake in the protein. Pause it: That's what you get for losing that chicken last week.

The rain took center stage as it poured on the camps for 48 hours straight. I thought this was clearly a time when production should've been suspended for a day or two. The skin on their hands looked like it was falling off. Foa Foa lost immunity and because of the rain, the tribe was unable to strategize about who they wanted to see gone. It didn't matter though because Ashley was voted out by a vote of 5-1. Do you think conditions like the torrential rain tonight are just part of surviving or is there a time when production should step in for the sake of safety?

CSI: (CBS, 9:00): It was a game of racism vs. reality tonight when a white policeman kills a black fellow officer and the CSIs must determine if the shooting was an accident or premeditated. I really liked how this story played out because you could see the judgements being formed but nobody verbalized how they felt. Anyway you looked at it, prejudice could be formed. But in the end it was just a case of one officer taking action in the line of duty and one trying to help a kid.

Did anybody catch that it was Enrique Murciano (formerly Danny Taylor of "Without a Trace" fame) playing the gang cop? At first I thought it was a crossover episode then I realized that "Trace" was based in New York and "CSI:" is set in Vegas. That was quickly followed by the memory that "Trace" was canceled because CBS wanted to make room for a lame reality show about neighborhoods. CBS was without a clue.

Reality check
"Project Runway" (Lifetime, 10:00): Bob Mackie, the "Sultan of Sequin", drops by to task the designers with creating an extravagant stage look. Two days and $300 to come up with an outfit for Christina Aguilera? They could've did that with a 2 hours and a Victoria's Secret gift card. You know Xtina likes it "dirty". Local boy Logan hangs on by a thread while table mate Carol Hannah wins the challenge. Give it up Logan. They're only keeping you around for eye candy.

News Break - Mia's Last Dance

Us Magazine is reporting that Emmy winner Mia Michaels has quit "So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX). Mia has been with the show since it's beginning and has choreographed some of the show's most memorable routines.

I wasn't a fan of contemporary dance until Mia Michaels came along. She really knows how to bring out the best in a dancer and it sucks for "SYTYCD" to lose her. Do you think Mia is pulling a Paula Abdul? Why do you think she's leaving?

Watch this, tape that - Thursday

Tonight's gonna be a good, good night.

8:00
Watch this: "Bones" (FOX). The murder of a Jeffersonian curator is investigated.
Tape that: "Flash Forward" (ABC). A patient's flash forward may be the key to finding a diagnosis.
See it online: "Survivor" (CBS). My fantasy team had better be in tact after tonight. Damn you, Monica!

9:00
Watch this: "CSI:" (CBS). One cop kills another. I hate when that happens.
Tape that: "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC). It's the first day of the Seattle Grace-Mercy West merger. Heads will roll and surgeons will battle to see who puts it back on.
See it online: "The Office" (NBC).

10:00
Watch this: "Real Housewives of Atlanta" (Bravo). Kim and Sheree plan an engagement party for Kandi. I foresee a lot of wigs and She by Sheree in this episode.
Tape that: "Project Runway" (Lifetime). If undeserving local boy Logan manages to stick around over another talented designer, I'm auf'ing myself.
See it online: "Private Practice" (ABC). Dr. Bailey visits Oceanside Wellness.

What a Wednesday

I'm in a zone with my impending vacation, so I'm going to keep it short and sweet.

"So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX, 8:00): The field started with 77 dancers and by the end only 38 were left standing. Next week we find out who makes the Top 20, but here's a recap of how they get there.

The choreographers led the dancers through a series of stylized routines: Laurie Ann Gibson taught a jazz routine, Mia Michaels for contemporary and Broadway for Tyce Diorio. Both Laurie Ann and Mia Michaels have earned reputations for being hard on the dancers, but I've seen Laurie Ann on "Making the Band" (MTV) and her bite is not as big as her bark. Pause it: You've come up Laurie Ann so don't ruin it by trying to be all Billy Badass. Mia took a gentler approach and that's when the dancers were able to shine.

One of the standouts tonight was crumper Russell. He danced through all the styles as if he's been classically trained. If he doesn't make the Top 20 it will be an injustice and I probably wouldn't watch the season. (NOT) This show is about taking someone who's already a talented dancer and making them extraordinary. Russell could be this season's Twitch. None of the girls are standing out right now, but I'm predicting married couple Ryan and Ashley will be split up with Ryan making it over his wife. I'm excited to see who makes the cut so let's get this show on the road.

"Glee" (FOX, 9:00): The episode was titled "Throwdown" but a more fitting name would've been "Coach Sue's Minority Report". WOW! She found a way to riff on every minority group you could think of. I'm sure a lot of people out there won't appreciate the humor in this episode, but I found it extremely funny.

After being made to co-sponsor the glee club, Coach Sue goes out of her way to pit the kids against each other as a way to divide and conquer. She takes all the minority students (Santana, Wheels, Gay Kid, Asian, Other Asian, Aretha and some other kid I couldn't figure out) and forms "Sue's Kids". She allows them to sing R&B instead of show tunes and also throw in some "pop-n-lock" dance moves. Eventually the club stands up to Coach Sue and Mr. Schue after their incessant fighting hinders their progress. From Finn: "If we wanted to hear mom and dad fight, those of us who still have two parents would just stay home on payday." Sue relinquishes the club back into the hands of Mr. Schue, but not before she blackmails the school blogger into leaking Quinn's pregnancy. I've said it before and I'll say it again: If this show doesn't win multiple awards for writing and acting, I'll suck on my big toe like it's a baby's bottle.

There were so many good quotes from tonight, you'll have to watch the show to get them all. Here are a few that I had to hear twice:

• Coach Sue on her love for minorities: "I like minorities so much I'm thinkin' about moving to California to become one."
• Sue, while yelling at Mr. Schue for flunking all the Cheerios: "Should they learn spanish? Sure, if they want to become dishwashers and gardeners. But if they want to be bankers and lawyers and captains of industry the most important lesson they could possibly learn is how to do a roundoff."

Featured songs:
Hate on Me - Jill Scott
Ride Wit Me - Nelly
No Air - Jordin Sparks with Chris Brown
You Keep Me Hangin' On - The Supremes
Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne

"Law & Order: SVU" (NBC, 9:00): A man wakes up with a head injury and a woman's he claims to have never met before is bludgeoned to death on the floor. Benson and Stabler aren't sure what to believe and set out to prove he knew the girl. It's later determined that the man is a recovering alcoholic who had blacked out after falling off the wagon. And in typical "L&O" fashion, the episode goes from being about solving a murder case to some far-fetched storyline from left field. Tonight's soap box of choice was the dangers of alcoholism.

I really hate how that kind of storytelling has become the way of the "L&O" franchise. The story was compelling all on its own, then they start beating you over the head with fact and myths about alcoholism. They finally drive it home by having the D.A. show up to court drunk. I'm citing this show for contempt. Bailiff!

Last bite: Robin is to "Top Chef" what Logan is to "Project Runway": a disappointment to Seattle and mediocre in her profession. She was in the bottom for the Quickfire Challenge and the for the Elimination round. Needless to say I won't be wearing his clothes or eating at her restaurant.

Watch this, tape that - Wednesday wonderland

You know what Wednesdays do to me.

8:00
Watch this: "So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX). The second round of Las Vegas callbacks narrows the field to our Top 20.
Tape that: "America's Next Top Model" (CW). It's go-see day!!!

9:00
"Watch this: "Glee" (FOX). It's the best entertainment you'll get all night! Co-Glee Coaches Sylvester and Schue get sent to the principal's office after Sue forces the kids to compete against each other.
Tape that: "Criminal Minds" (CBS). The team profiles a group of killers who travel in a pack and chooses victims randomly.
See it online: "Modern Family" (ABC). This is a fun show to come back to.

10:00
Watch this: "Top Chef: Las Vegas" (Bravo). Cheftestants must use pork and wine as ingredients. Interesting combination.
Tape that: "CSI: NY" (CBS). A cheating husband is killed and his wife confesses, but DNA says otherwise. We'll see about that.
See it online: "South Park" (Comedy Central). Butters wants to get a first kiss so the guys will stop making fun of him. Good luck with that.
Also on: "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" (MTV).

Everyone's a loser

I wish "Law & Order: SVU" would move back to Tuesdays. At least there would be some real drama in the 10 pm time slot.

"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, 8:00): I don't even know where to begin in this travesty. The game goes back to Blue against Black format, and the losers are presented with a temptation where the prize is the ability to choose the new teams and the trainer. Of course, Wild-Eyed Tracey wins the power and shakes up the course of the game. She allows the Orange team to remain in tact for the Black team and keeps her own partner Mo for Blue. The rest are split up and most are paired with the trainer they didn't want.

Pause it: I know this is a game show as well as a weight loss challenge, but it pisses me off that some people come on here and start focusing on the game. Obviously if you didn't need to lose weight you wouldn't be on the show. So why, Wild-Eyed Tracey, do you constantly throw these unnecessary boulders in the other contestant's path to healthy living? If these people need the support of their partner to motivate them, why take that away?

Wild-Eyed Tracey chooses Bob as her trainer, saying she had a connection with him. Jillian's response: "Bob has no connection with Tracey. It's just Tracey's way of getting out of the ass whipping that I have been waiting to deliver her for the last 3 or 4 weeks." Nicely put, Jillian. Liz was livid that she was split from partner Danny and for 90 minutes I listened to her threaten to send Wild-Eyed Tracey home the first chance she got. Blue team loses the weigh in and what does Liz do with that first chance? She votes for Mo. So much for getting even, Liz?

Did the Blue team get it right by voting off Mo? Do you think Wild-Eyed Tracey will skate through to the end without even working out? Does that tick you off as much as it does me?

Worth a chuckle: Jillian to Dina when she starts to flake out on her workout: "Your life's not changing today but at least your butt will get smaller ... at least that's something."

"The Good Wife" (CBS, 10:00): Either the show was so good I couldn't take notes, or it was so boring that I couldn't find anything to write about. Whatever the case, it was an interesting take on jury tampering. Alicia had to determine if a juror was being bribed in a class action lawsuit against a drug company. I guess we were supposed to be intrigued by the who's-fooling-who aspect, but it didn't prove itself to be a riveting way to tell the story.

I'm still wishing they spent more time on Alicia's situation with her husband. The show is supposed to center around his arrest and philandering ways, but is always takes a backseat to Alicia's court cases. I object!

Rewind that: On the premier episode of "The Hills" (MTV, 10:00), Audrina said that the "girl code" states that you don't date your friend's ex. Doesn't the "boy code" say you don't date your ex-lover's best friend? I'm just saying.
And did anybody hear Spencer say he was getting his tubes tied? Tubes. Tied. The sad thing is he's just that stupid enough to think his body comes with those. Hint to Spencer: they're located where your manhood used to be.

Watch this and that's all

Tuesday. Let's keep it simple.

8:00
Watch this: "The Biggest Loser" (NBC).

10:00
Watch this: "The Good Wife" (CBS). Alicia discovers jury tampering during a class-action lawsuit.
Tape that: "The Hills" (MTV). It's only 22 minutes when you tape it. The other 8 can be spent living your own life.

Also on tonight:
"Dancing With the Stars" (ABC, 9:00): Results show.
"NCIS: Los Angeles" (CBS, 9:00)
"Behind the Music" (VH1, 8:00): Profile of rapper 50 Cent.
"2009 Hip Hop Honors" (VH1): Celebration of Def Jam's 25th anniversary; Tracy Morgan hosts.

"The Oprah Winfrey Show" (KING-TV, 4:00): Oprah sat down with Mike Tyson in one of the most raw and riveting interviews I've ever seen. Tyson came off as a gentile giant and I was very impressed with the honesty in his answers. He made no excuses about his past as a womanizer, a drug user and a boxer who had slowly succumbed to all the negativity that fame had to offer.

I'm not typically a fan of Oprah, especially when she's trying to enlighten me with some new diet or new favorite thing. She's at her best when the focus is not on her, and she asked a lot of questions that I would be afraid to ask a man who once bit someone's ear off and served time for rape. But Tyson didn't back down or hesitate in his answers. The most revealing part of the interview was when she asked about the recent death of his 4-year-old daughter, Exodus, and he explained why he didn't want to know the details of her death. He said if he had found someone to blame then the anger would've taken over. It really showed the changed man in Mike Tyson. Pause it: I guess I'll buy what Oprah was shoveling: I have to rent the documentary "Tyson". I've heard good things about it already so technically I'm thinking for myself, no?

"Trauma" (NBC, 9:00): It's official. This is my second favorite new show of the fall season ("Glee" still tops my list). The acting and the action is something that's been missing from network TV since the early seasons of "ER". Tonight was the first time the show had opening credits, and I noticed that it's produced by Peter Berg. He produces another one of my favorites, "Friday Night Lights", so it definitely gives "Trauma" some credibility in my book.

The big ordeal of the night was an office shooting that left 12 people dead and 23 wounded. Boone was getting nagging calls from his wife as he desperately worked triage. Turns out she was in the office building where the shooting was taking place. Pause it: This is the main reason why people shouldn't screen phone calls. You never know who is in need of help.

For a second I thought this traumatic event would be the catalyst that brings Boone and Sela back together, but when he asked what she was doing in the building it's revealed she was visiting with an attorney. While Boone (played superbly by Derek Luke) is becoming one of my favorite stories to follow, Rabbit is the character that has all the lovable flaws. And he seems to be getting softer as the episodes go by, and I can't wait for the next medical mishap to see where he flies me. Who out there is loving "Trauma"?

"Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team 4" (CMT, 10:00): The show premiered Saturday, but I'm seeing it for the first time on repeat. It's round four for the DCC tryouts and I can never get enough of this show. Over 500 girls showed up, each trying to take one of the 45 spots needed to form the squad, and these judges don't give any breaks.

Round 1 is freestyle dance. The ladies have about 30 seconds to show off their best dance moves and try to get noticed by the judges ... in a good way. There's no denying this round is more about looks than talent. Most of the time the panel is whispering about big breasts, bad hair and flabby stomachs. The field is narrowed to about 120 girls for Round 2 and this time they learn the famous DCC kick line and a choreographed routine. This is where the judging gets really cutthroat because they don't leave room for any mistakes. I always feel bad for the girls who blank during the routines and can't pick it back up. You know you're Texas toast when the judges start whispering behind sheets of paper. Pause it: If a series of high kicks (with a hard fall into the splits) were the only thing standing between me and my dream of becoming a cheerleader, I'd still be dreaming. I could do that stuff 12 years ago. Now I'm just too bottom heavy for all that.