Dear Watch Party attendees,
So sorry that I haven't been posting. Once again my laptop and I are engaged in a heated battle. I wanted it to do more work and just like the last man I dated, it quit on me. So the laptop is taking a break and getting a tune up but will be back and running just in time for "Lost" and sweeps period. If it's any consolation, the only show I regret not being able to discuss was Monday's premiere of "Damages". If you have thoughts or questions, please send them to tvwatchparty@gmail.com.
As always, keep watching.
Your loving Watch Party host,
Resa
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Seeing Double
Sorry for the late posting. My laptop and I got into a huge fight last night. It won. Here are some highlights (and low ones) from Thursday:
"The Deep End" (ABC, 8:00): Definitely a low. I can't believe ABC put this poorly acted, poorly written and richly uninteresting story on the air. When I think a show is bad, it's really bad cause I'll watch pretty much anything. But I could barely get through this train wreck, which basically took the dialogue from the pilot episode of "Grey's Anatomy" and copied it almost word for word.
Pause it: The show has already been dubbed "'Grey's Anatomy' with lawyers". Why confirm that by copying every plot point right down to two characters who barely know each other having sex on the floor a la Derek and Meredith? Even the most original line referenced "Grey's": "I'd rather have a colonoscopy at a teaching hospital." The final straw for me was having Kate Burton, who played Meredith's mother, as a guest star. C'mon!
The show follows a group of recent Ivy-League law graduates who enter the working world as associates at a big law firm. The only reason I tuned in was because Tina Majorino, left, is one of the young lawyers. Most people may remember her as glamour-shot-picture taking Deb from "Napoleon Dynamite", but for me she will forever be Molly Singer from "Corrina, Corrina", one of my all-time favorite movies. Majorino plays Addy, the female version of George O'Malley. The show also has a Bailey-esque character, a not-so-McDreamy and an Izzie with red hair.
It's going to be hard for this show to establish itself as something new if they continue to pair it with "Grey's" and "Private Practice". I guess for now, ABC Thursdays will just be three hours of hot doctors and lawyers who care too much and speak too fast.
"Project Runway" (Lifetime, Thurs., 10:00): I missed the first few minutes but I was able to
jump right in. Following the tradition of making functional garments out of unconventional materials, the designers had to turn a plain potato sack in to a party look for their models. To make matters worse, the models got to pick the designers instead of the other way around.
Some of the instructions must have been lost in translation because Jesus and Ping, right, struggled on the challenge. Jesus skirted (tee hee) around the rules by covering his sack with some crazy, sewn-together ribbon crap and Ping thought the models were dressing for a country pasture party. Her dress was bland and the model's booty was hanging out of the back.
Jay couldn't pull it together and was only half done with his dress at the end of day one. But he rallied and came up with a beautiful, black cocktail dress. Ben's produced a hot little number that you could see you any red carpet, but it was Amy's burnt burlap look that I wanted to see hanging in my closet. (And hang is what it would do because I have too many rolls to wear my back out like that).
On the runway, the judges call out Jay, Mila, Amy and Pamela, along with Jesus and Ping. They all loved Amy's dress, but the win went to Jay. I really wanted Amy to win because her dress looked expensive but you could still tell it was a potato sack. Ping made it through even though her dress came with a built-in air conditioner, leaving Pamela and Jesus in the bottom two.
Pamela's dress wasn't the best designed garment, but the denim dye job she put on it was fantastic. It really looked like a jean dress. Jesus, on the other hand, completely missed the point of the challenge but the judges kept him around for another week. He'd better churn out some awesome clothes next week or I'm revolting. It's his second time and we're only 2 weeks in!
Finishing touches: I'm really hating the way the camera cuts to the designers when the models hit the runway. The whole point of the show is to see these cool clothes! Who cares about the designer's reaction?
CHANNEL SURFING
"The Deep End" (ABC, 8:00): Definitely a low. I can't believe ABC put this poorly acted, poorly written and richly uninteresting story on the air. When I think a show is bad, it's really bad cause I'll watch pretty much anything. But I could barely get through this train wreck, which basically took the dialogue from the pilot episode of "Grey's Anatomy" and copied it almost word for word. Pause it: The show has already been dubbed "'Grey's Anatomy' with lawyers". Why confirm that by copying every plot point right down to two characters who barely know each other having sex on the floor a la Derek and Meredith? Even the most original line referenced "Grey's": "I'd rather have a colonoscopy at a teaching hospital." The final straw for me was having Kate Burton, who played Meredith's mother, as a guest star. C'mon!
The show follows a group of recent Ivy-League law graduates who enter the working world as associates at a big law firm. The only reason I tuned in was because Tina Majorino, left, is one of the young lawyers. Most people may remember her as glamour-shot-picture taking Deb from "Napoleon Dynamite", but for me she will forever be Molly Singer from "Corrina, Corrina", one of my all-time favorite movies. Majorino plays Addy, the female version of George O'Malley. The show also has a Bailey-esque character, a not-so-McDreamy and an Izzie with red hair.
It's going to be hard for this show to establish itself as something new if they continue to pair it with "Grey's" and "Private Practice". I guess for now, ABC Thursdays will just be three hours of hot doctors and lawyers who care too much and speak too fast.
"Project Runway" (Lifetime, Thurs., 10:00): I missed the first few minutes but I was able to
jump right in. Following the tradition of making functional garments out of unconventional materials, the designers had to turn a plain potato sack in to a party look for their models. To make matters worse, the models got to pick the designers instead of the other way around.Some of the instructions must have been lost in translation because Jesus and Ping, right, struggled on the challenge. Jesus skirted (tee hee) around the rules by covering his sack with some crazy, sewn-together ribbon crap and Ping thought the models were dressing for a country pasture party. Her dress was bland and the model's booty was hanging out of the back.
Jay couldn't pull it together and was only half done with his dress at the end of day one. But he rallied and came up with a beautiful, black cocktail dress. Ben's produced a hot little number that you could see you any red carpet, but it was Amy's burnt burlap look that I wanted to see hanging in my closet. (And hang is what it would do because I have too many rolls to wear my back out like that).
On the runway, the judges call out Jay, Mila, Amy and Pamela, along with Jesus and Ping. They all loved Amy's dress, but the win went to Jay. I really wanted Amy to win because her dress looked expensive but you could still tell it was a potato sack. Ping made it through even though her dress came with a built-in air conditioner, leaving Pamela and Jesus in the bottom two.
Pamela's dress wasn't the best designed garment, but the denim dye job she put on it was fantastic. It really looked like a jean dress. Jesus, on the other hand, completely missed the point of the challenge but the judges kept him around for another week. He'd better churn out some awesome clothes next week or I'm revolting. It's his second time and we're only 2 weeks in!
Finishing touches: I'm really hating the way the camera cuts to the designers when the models hit the runway. The whole point of the show is to see these cool clothes! Who cares about the designer's reaction?
CHANNEL SURFING
- "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC, 9:00): I hope this was Izzie's last episode. I was glad to see Karev give her the heave-ho! Now if only Shonda Rhimes would do the same, that would be one giant step for "Grey's" lovers. Get rid of her already!!!!
- On "Private Practice" (ABC, 10:00), Maya announced she's pregnant - at the tender age of 15. Naomi wanted to force her into having an abortion, even though it's completely against her beliefs. Audra McDonald was phenomenal and I could feel her hand across my face when she slapped Maya. I'm hoping this storyline breathes some much needed life into this flatlining show.
Watch this: Hope for Haiti
All major networks will suspend regular programming to air "Hope for Haiti," a telethon designed to raise money for relief efforts in Haiti after last week's devastating earthquake. Show begins at 8:00 p.m.
Big love
I'm so mad at myself for not doing my research. You can watch full episode of "High School Reunion" (TV Land, Wed., 7:00) online the next day. URGH!!! I can't believe I missed that! Now that I'm caught up, let's discuss Wednesday's show.
It's late-bloomer Rachelle's time to shine when she's selected to get a hall pass. She immediately sets her sights on Joe, the class hunk, and hopes that their time alone will lead to a love connection. Pause it: How many times is she going to tell us that she just got out of a long relationship with a controlling spouse? Jodi, Joe's high school sweetheart, was seething with white hot hate at him for once again making her look stupid while he runs off with Rachelle. Apparently Joe was quite the ladies man in high school and did a lot of running around behind Jodi's back. Still, Jodi came to rekindle the flame. Joe, not so much. He proclaims they are better off as friends then spends the day making out with Rachelle in a lagoon. Jodi later bonds with class nerd Cyndi, telling her that being popular wasn't as glamorous as one would believe. Pause it: Try telling that to the kid who got beat up after school today ... but I know what she means.
I don't know why Jodi wants to hook back up with Joe, especially now that we see how he treated her in high school. I thought I'd be with my high school sweetie forever, too, but after one semester of college I saw how many fish were out there and believe me, there were a plenty!
Meanwhile, troublemaker/borderline racist Joe also snags a hall pass and asks Summer Girl Elena to accompany him to the beach. Elena takes the date and promises to use the time telling Joe that his antics are no longer funny. She tells him he has diarrhea of the mouth and that he's constantly saying ignorant things. His response: "Go f%#& yourself". John says he doesn't want to change and Elena proclaims wants nothing more to do with him. I'd already written him off as a lost cause in the first episode after he refused to apologize to Eric for his homophobic comments.
Do you remember your first high school boyfriend? I'm not talking about first loves, but the first guy you seriously dated. Do you know where they ended up? Would you date them again if given the chance? Me? Not just no, but HELL NO!
It's late-bloomer Rachelle's time to shine when she's selected to get a hall pass. She immediately sets her sights on Joe, the class hunk, and hopes that their time alone will lead to a love connection. Pause it: How many times is she going to tell us that she just got out of a long relationship with a controlling spouse? Jodi, Joe's high school sweetheart, was seething with white hot hate at him for once again making her look stupid while he runs off with Rachelle. Apparently Joe was quite the ladies man in high school and did a lot of running around behind Jodi's back. Still, Jodi came to rekindle the flame. Joe, not so much. He proclaims they are better off as friends then spends the day making out with Rachelle in a lagoon. Jodi later bonds with class nerd Cyndi, telling her that being popular wasn't as glamorous as one would believe. Pause it: Try telling that to the kid who got beat up after school today ... but I know what she means.I don't know why Jodi wants to hook back up with Joe, especially now that we see how he treated her in high school. I thought I'd be with my high school sweetie forever, too, but after one semester of college I saw how many fish were out there and believe me, there were a plenty!
Meanwhile, troublemaker/borderline racist Joe also snags a hall pass and asks Summer Girl Elena to accompany him to the beach. Elena takes the date and promises to use the time telling Joe that his antics are no longer funny. She tells him he has diarrhea of the mouth and that he's constantly saying ignorant things. His response: "Go f%#& yourself". John says he doesn't want to change and Elena proclaims wants nothing more to do with him. I'd already written him off as a lost cause in the first episode after he refused to apologize to Eric for his homophobic comments.
Do you remember your first high school boyfriend? I'm not talking about first loves, but the first guy you seriously dated. Do you know where they ended up? Would you date them again if given the chance? Me? Not just no, but HELL NO!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
So Amazing
A pair of cowboys, a former teen beauty queen, a pair of models and some reality-show favorites are among the 11 teams that will race around the world for the $1 million grand prize on "The Amazing Race". Season 16 premieres Feb. 14, at 8:00 p.m on CBS.
Teams will start in Los Angeles and have to make their way to the airport via public transportation - no taxis and no rental cars (Good luck with that!). The racers then head to Valparaiso, Chile. Other stops include France and the Seychelles, which is located off the east coast of Africa. "It takes forever to get there," says executive producer Bertram van Munster.
Here are the teams:
Caite Upton, 20 & Brent Horne, 28
Relationship: Dating Models
(She's the former Miss Teen South Carolina who entertained us with the infamous "some-people-don't-have-maps" answer during the 2007 Miss Teen USA pageant)
Louis Stravato, 47 & Michael Naylor, 45
Relationship: Colleagues - undercover detectives
(They certainly can't call themselves "undercover" after being on this show"
Steve Smith, 57 & Allie Smith, 23
Relationship: Father - Daughter
Jeff Schroeder, 31 & Jordan Lloyd, 22 (of "Big Brother" fame)
Relationship: Newly Dating
Monique Pryor, 39 & Shawne Morgan, 39
Relationship: Moms - Attorneys
Jet McCoy, 30 & Cord McCoy, 29
Relationship: Brothers - bull-riding cowboys
Adrian Davis, 40 & Dana Davis, 39
Relationship: Married
Jody Kelly, 71 & Shannon Foster, 22
Relationship: Grandmother - Granddaughter
Carol Rosenfeld, 47 & Brandy Snow, 40
Relationship: Dating
Daniel Pious, 24 & Jordan Pious, 22
Relationship: Brothers
Joe Wang, 42 & Heidi Wang, 37
Relationship: Married
Watch this, tape that - Thursday
Here's what's on:
8:00
Watch this: "The Deep End" (ABC). A few weeks ago I called this show "Grey's Anatomy" with lawyers. The comparison stands.
Tape that: "Bones" (FOX). Brennan and Booth work on a top-secret case for the govenment.
9:00
Watch this: "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC). Izzie is back and wants her hubby back. Too bad he slept with Little Grey last week.
Tape that: "The Office" (NBC). First fresh episode of the new season.
See it online: "CSI:" (CBS). A legendary golf pro is murdered during a high-profile tournament.
10:00
Watch this: "Project Runway" (Lifetime). After last week's great week show, I'm looking forward to seeing what the designers turn out tonight.
Tape that: "Private Practice" (ABC). Sam and Naomi learn that daughter Maya is pregnant.
8:00
Watch this: "The Deep End" (ABC). A few weeks ago I called this show "Grey's Anatomy" with lawyers. The comparison stands.
Tape that: "Bones" (FOX). Brennan and Booth work on a top-secret case for the govenment.
9:00
Watch this: "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC). Izzie is back and wants her hubby back. Too bad he slept with Little Grey last week.
Tape that: "The Office" (NBC). First fresh episode of the new season.
See it online: "CSI:" (CBS). A legendary golf pro is murdered during a high-profile tournament.
10:00
Watch this: "Project Runway" (Lifetime). After last week's great week show, I'm looking forward to seeing what the designers turn out tonight.
Tape that: "Private Practice" (ABC). Sam and Naomi learn that daughter Maya is pregnant.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Watch this, tape that - Wednesday
It's a night for big humor. Enjoy!
8:00
Watch this: "American Idol" (FOX). I missed last night's auditions in Chicago, but I'll be tuning in for this one. I think they are in Orlando.
Tape that: "High School Reunion" (TV Land). Jodi becomes jealous when her former high school sweetheart Joe goes on a date with Rachelle. Check your local listing for this. My guide says it comes on at 7 and 8 p.m. PST.
9:00
Watch this: "Modern Family" (ABC). Mitchell thinks Jay's friend is gay. Plus, if you watch this you'll have 30 minutes of free time afterwards!
Tape that: "Criminal Minds" (CBS). "SVU" is a repeat so treat yourselves to something new.
10:00
Watch this: "CSI: NY" (CBS). A quarterback for the Lingerie Football League is found murdered in a locker room hot tub.
Tape that: "Ugly Betty" (ABC). I'm so glad this show is back on Wednesdays. Too bad they buried it at 10.
8:00
Watch this: "American Idol" (FOX). I missed last night's auditions in Chicago, but I'll be tuning in for this one. I think they are in Orlando.
Tape that: "High School Reunion" (TV Land). Jodi becomes jealous when her former high school sweetheart Joe goes on a date with Rachelle. Check your local listing for this. My guide says it comes on at 7 and 8 p.m. PST.
9:00
Watch this: "Modern Family" (ABC). Mitchell thinks Jay's friend is gay. Plus, if you watch this you'll have 30 minutes of free time afterwards!
Tape that: "Criminal Minds" (CBS). "SVU" is a repeat so treat yourselves to something new.
10:00
Watch this: "CSI: NY" (CBS). A quarterback for the Lingerie Football League is found murdered in a locker room hot tub.
Tape that: "Ugly Betty" (ABC). I'm so glad this show is back on Wednesdays. Too bad they buried it at 10.
Please, pass the chips ... from your shoulder
First off, let's welcome new follower Cedric to the Watch Party! Yay! When I hit 10 I'll know I've made it. Pull up a chair Ced! No hogging the remote.
"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, Tues., 8:00): I don't know what it is about this show that makes me want to grab a bag of Doritos. Or popcorn. Or pizza. I used to work out during the commercial breaks by doing jumping jacks or fast walking around my living room. Pause it: My downstairs neighbors did not like this. But the heavier the contestants get, the less motivated I am. I say to myself, "Well at least I'm not that big." Sad, but true.
"Loser" checks in on the Blue and Yellow teams ... you remember them don't you? The sad sacks who were sent home before they even got to unpack. The teams are halfway through their 30-day stint at home, both trying to lose weight to come back to the ranch.
Now maybe someone can help me figure this out. People come on this show because they can't lose the weight by themselves at home. Then when they are forced to earn a spot on the ranch, they go home and drop 10, 20, 30 lbs. I'm no gym rat by any means, and only a handful of things annoy me more than people who say they like to workout. But why the motivation now? Is it the money? Being on TV? Screw the ranch! If it were me, I'd find more pride in being able to lose the weight on my own. Pause it: For those of you who are about to jump down my throat, let me say that I do have a gym membership and I work with a personal trainer (Hi Dan!) But it take a HUGE effort to drag out of bed and go to the gym every other day. Hence, the personal trainer. It's all about accountability. Hey, if it affects my wallet, it affects my weight. But enough about my fat rolls ...
The teams were divided into students and teachers. The teachers would workout with Jillian and Bob then would have to share their knowledge with the students. Only the students' weight loss would count at the weigh in. Pink team wins the temptation challenge and gets to determine the student/teacher match-ups. Green team's Migdalia immediately gets angry with being made the teacher because she knew it was her week to shine on the scale. During the workout, she completely shuts down and walks out on Jillian, threatening to quit the show. Pause it: I was never able to really figure out what Migdalia's problem was, but she was extremely annoying. She eventually said Jillian made her angry by calling her out on her parenting skills. I knew she wasn't going anywhere, but kudos to her for finding a way to not finish her workout by throwing a tantrum. (I've done that with my trainer, too except I threaten to vomit then go and lay down on a locker-room bench for 10 minutes. Sorry, Dan! My arms were hurting!)
At the weigh-in, Gray team has immunity and the choice to switch one team's student/teacher pairing. Instead of using White team's Maria's weight, they opted to make Michael's count after watching him piss around in the gym all week and not give 100% in his workouts. Their switch paid off and White team fell below the yellow line. Maria took the bullet and asked players to keep her son - and heaviest contestant ever - in the game.
Looks like more fireworks next week! With a quick push of the pause button I was able to see that Melissa will drop 28 lbs. next week. Do you think the Red Team is throwing the weigh-ins for a big payoff like this? Or was Melissa really not putting in work? I love it when the trainers go all renegade on the losers! Especially Bob!
I'm going to introduce a new segment to "Biggest Loser" recaps. We'll call it "Plug of the Night". With all the product placements, it's anyone's guess how there's not a big Brita logo in the corner of the TV screen instead of NBC's peacock. Tonight's winner is Walgreens. "What am I going to use to ice my knee when I'm at home," wonders John. Hmmm, I don't know ... maybe a pack of ice. Did we really need to know that Walgreens makes little bags with Velcro to put your ice cubes in? I'm just sayin'.
CHANNEL SURFING
Tune in next Tuesday for the season finale of "Teen Mom" (MTV, 10:00) where Tyler will pop the question to Catelynn and Maci makes a decision about her and Ryan's future. MTV is also coming back with a second season of "16 and Pregnant". The show will follow the lives of 10 new girls as they struggle with the reality of teen pregnancy. You won't want to miss it. Premieres February 16.
"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, Tues., 8:00): I don't know what it is about this show that makes me want to grab a bag of Doritos. Or popcorn. Or pizza. I used to work out during the commercial breaks by doing jumping jacks or fast walking around my living room. Pause it: My downstairs neighbors did not like this. But the heavier the contestants get, the less motivated I am. I say to myself, "Well at least I'm not that big." Sad, but true.
"Loser" checks in on the Blue and Yellow teams ... you remember them don't you? The sad sacks who were sent home before they even got to unpack. The teams are halfway through their 30-day stint at home, both trying to lose weight to come back to the ranch.
Now maybe someone can help me figure this out. People come on this show because they can't lose the weight by themselves at home. Then when they are forced to earn a spot on the ranch, they go home and drop 10, 20, 30 lbs. I'm no gym rat by any means, and only a handful of things annoy me more than people who say they like to workout. But why the motivation now? Is it the money? Being on TV? Screw the ranch! If it were me, I'd find more pride in being able to lose the weight on my own. Pause it: For those of you who are about to jump down my throat, let me say that I do have a gym membership and I work with a personal trainer (Hi Dan!) But it take a HUGE effort to drag out of bed and go to the gym every other day. Hence, the personal trainer. It's all about accountability. Hey, if it affects my wallet, it affects my weight. But enough about my fat rolls ...
The teams were divided into students and teachers. The teachers would workout with Jillian and Bob then would have to share their knowledge with the students. Only the students' weight loss would count at the weigh in. Pink team wins the temptation challenge and gets to determine the student/teacher match-ups. Green team's Migdalia immediately gets angry with being made the teacher because she knew it was her week to shine on the scale. During the workout, she completely shuts down and walks out on Jillian, threatening to quit the show. Pause it: I was never able to really figure out what Migdalia's problem was, but she was extremely annoying. She eventually said Jillian made her angry by calling her out on her parenting skills. I knew she wasn't going anywhere, but kudos to her for finding a way to not finish her workout by throwing a tantrum. (I've done that with my trainer, too except I threaten to vomit then go and lay down on a locker-room bench for 10 minutes. Sorry, Dan! My arms were hurting!)
At the weigh-in, Gray team has immunity and the choice to switch one team's student/teacher pairing. Instead of using White team's Maria's weight, they opted to make Michael's count after watching him piss around in the gym all week and not give 100% in his workouts. Their switch paid off and White team fell below the yellow line. Maria took the bullet and asked players to keep her son - and heaviest contestant ever - in the game.
Looks like more fireworks next week! With a quick push of the pause button I was able to see that Melissa will drop 28 lbs. next week. Do you think the Red Team is throwing the weigh-ins for a big payoff like this? Or was Melissa really not putting in work? I love it when the trainers go all renegade on the losers! Especially Bob!
I'm going to introduce a new segment to "Biggest Loser" recaps. We'll call it "Plug of the Night". With all the product placements, it's anyone's guess how there's not a big Brita logo in the corner of the TV screen instead of NBC's peacock. Tonight's winner is Walgreens. "What am I going to use to ice my knee when I'm at home," wonders John. Hmmm, I don't know ... maybe a pack of ice. Did we really need to know that Walgreens makes little bags with Velcro to put your ice cubes in? I'm just sayin'.
CHANNEL SURFING
Tune in next Tuesday for the season finale of "Teen Mom" (MTV, 10:00) where Tyler will pop the question to Catelynn and Maci makes a decision about her and Ryan's future. MTV is also coming back with a second season of "16 and Pregnant". The show will follow the lives of 10 new girls as they struggle with the reality of teen pregnancy. You won't want to miss it. Premieres February 16.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Watch this, tape that - Tuesday
It's a busy week for me so I may drop the ball on a few shows. But here are some options:
8:00
Watch this: "American Idol" (FOX). Auditions roll into the Windy City and I can't wait to see who becomes the next "Viral Idol". Mr. Pants on the Ground, your 15 minutes are almost up.
Tape that: "The Biggest Loser" (NBC). The losers are split into teachers and students, then are made to train each other. Also, one contestant contemplates leaving after a conflict with Bob and Jillian.
9:00
Watch this: "Human Target" (FOX). It's a repeat of the series premiere. I thought I'd give it a go.
10:00
Watch this: "White Collar" (USA). A corrupt group of brokers is investigated. I got behind on this show when I went on vacation and never caught back up, but it was entertaining. I'll try it again.
Tape that: "Teen Mom" (MTV). It was reported last weekend that Farrah's mom was arrest for choking her. Not saying I condone it, but if ever there were a kid who needed to be choked ...
Also on: "Millionaire Matchmaker" (Bravo). I enjoy this show when there's nothing else on. Bravo will repeat it at least 14 times before next Tuesday. "The Good Wife" (CBS) is a repeat.
8:00
Watch this: "American Idol" (FOX). Auditions roll into the Windy City and I can't wait to see who becomes the next "Viral Idol". Mr. Pants on the Ground, your 15 minutes are almost up.
Tape that: "The Biggest Loser" (NBC). The losers are split into teachers and students, then are made to train each other. Also, one contestant contemplates leaving after a conflict with Bob and Jillian.
9:00
Watch this: "Human Target" (FOX). It's a repeat of the series premiere. I thought I'd give it a go.
10:00
Watch this: "White Collar" (USA). A corrupt group of brokers is investigated. I got behind on this show when I went on vacation and never caught back up, but it was entertaining. I'll try it again.
Tape that: "Teen Mom" (MTV). It was reported last weekend that Farrah's mom was arrest for choking her. Not saying I condone it, but if ever there were a kid who needed to be choked ...
Also on: "Millionaire Matchmaker" (Bravo). I enjoy this show when there's nothing else on. Bravo will repeat it at least 14 times before next Tuesday. "The Good Wife" (CBS) is a repeat.
We've got a situation
Sorry about the delay. I had some technical difficulties with the recorder (ie, I forgot to set it). I have now seen the first four hours of Day 8 on "24" (FOX, Sun., 9:00), and I can now conclude that this is not a show I'll be able to blog about. I may be able to discuss a few plot points here and there, but there are so many moving parts to this show that it's just too hard to take notes and enjoy it at the same time. Here's what I can tell you:- Day 8 takes place in New York and picks up a short time after the events of last season.
- Jack Bauer is a grandpa! He and daughter Kim have finally patched up the rift between them and he is moving back to Los Angeles with her family.
- President Taylor is now divorced and she sent her daughter to prison for murder.
- Chloe is no longer the expert at CTU. She returned to work after her husband lost his job, but instead of being the star, she's the new tech-in-training.
- Jack is pulled back into CTU to stop an assassination attempt on Omar Hassan, president of the fictional Islamic Republic of Kamistan who's in New York to sign a peace treaty with the U.S.
What I have never liked about "24" is the ridiculous sub-plots. And why does the threat always have to come from inside CTU? They haven't revealed a mole just yet, but it's only a matter of time before we find out that some low level agent is working with the enemy.
Are you excited about the return of Jack Bauer or is it feeling like more of the same?
TURN THAT UP!
Some funny lines overheard on "Desperate Housewives" (ABC, Sun. 8:00):- "Wow! A model and a poet. So while you're doing porn, he can make the dialogue rhyme." - Angie Bolen to her son and Gabby's niece, after their career plans.
- Bree to Orson: "You know the magic word - it has 6 letters." Orson: I know a word that has 3. If you don't give me my food, I'm going to shove that fork up it!"
Monday, January 18, 2010
Watch this, tape that - Monday
Welcome to the Watch Party. Pull up a chair!
8:00
Watch this: "24" (FOX). The season premiere continues with Jack Bauer chasing down leads on the assassination attempt.
Tape that: "Secret Life of the American Teenager" (ABC Family). Old habits die hard. I'll drop it next week, I promise.
9:00
Watch this: "Make It or Break It" (ABC Family). If you're not tuned into "24", watch Kaylie as she heads to L.A. and gets bitten by fame.
Tape that: "Life Unexpected" (CW). Series premiere. A kid meets her birth parents. Tape it just in case it's lame and you can fast forward.
10:00
Watch this: "Hoarders" (A&E). A home filled with clothes or a home filled with decorating supplies? Take your pick.
Tape that: "CSI: Miami" (CBS). I'll admit I'm a week behind, but I can see them all online.
Catch it on second run: "Fantasia for Real" (VH1). I have to tune in to see if Fanny lets her brother have it.
8:00
Watch this: "24" (FOX). The season premiere continues with Jack Bauer chasing down leads on the assassination attempt.
Tape that: "Secret Life of the American Teenager" (ABC Family). Old habits die hard. I'll drop it next week, I promise.
9:00
Watch this: "Make It or Break It" (ABC Family). If you're not tuned into "24", watch Kaylie as she heads to L.A. and gets bitten by fame.
Tape that: "Life Unexpected" (CW). Series premiere. A kid meets her birth parents. Tape it just in case it's lame and you can fast forward.
10:00
Watch this: "Hoarders" (A&E). A home filled with clothes or a home filled with decorating supplies? Take your pick.
Tape that: "CSI: Miami" (CBS). I'll admit I'm a week behind, but I can see them all online.
Catch it on second run: "Fantasia for Real" (VH1). I have to tune in to see if Fanny lets her brother have it.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Rubbernecking
Here's my confession: I have a morbid fascination with death. I'm not into the gore and guts, but I find myself wondering about a person's last moments, the afterlife and most importantly, who's going to find my private journals after I'm gone. (Jeff, you know what to do!)
I work for a newspaper and we get hundreds of stories everyday that are full of tragic tales like Anne Pressly and Jasmine Fiore. But what we don't always get is the human side - the pain of those family members who have lost a loved one. That's why shows like this are a must see for me. It's the chance for mothers and fathers, friends and lovers to share their stories.
"TV Murders: Jasmine Fiore and Anne Pressly" (TLC, Sun., 9:00) recounts the details of the brutal murders or two blond beauties. Both of these stories have local connections for me. Anne Pressly was a popular TV anchorwoman in Little Rock, Arkansas, the capital city of my home state. I grew up about 30 minutes outside of Little Rock and my whole family still lives there. Jasmine Fiore's killer triggered a manhunt across Washington state. I live in Seattle and was working in the newsroom the night they thought they had Jasmine's killer cornered at the Canadian border in Blaine.
Jasmine was a 28-year-old bikini model whose whirlwind romance with a reality TV contestant may have cost her her life. Jasmine's body was found stuffed in a suitcase in a garbage bin with her fingertips and teeth removed. Police identified her by the serial number on her breast implants. Rewind: This is called the "CSI effect". People were so surprised when police said that's how they learned her identity, but they've been doing that on "CSI" for years. After learning that Jasmine was last seen with her estranged husband, Ryan Jenkins, police immediately turned their attention to finding him.
Ryan had just wrapped up a stint on the VH1 reality show, "Megan Wants a Milliona
ire" where he earned the nickname "Smooth Operator". He took meticulous steps to cover up Jasmine's murder (as if removing her fingers and teeth weren't enough). He then escapes to Canada after eluding the police, but later commits suicide by hanging himself in a motel closet. VH1 underwent much scrutiny about its background checks for reality contestants after it was discovered that Ryan Jenkins already had a record that included assault charges.
Anne Pressly, 26, was savagely beaten, raped and left for dead in her own home. Word of her attack left Little Rock in a state of shock, especially when details of how she had been beaten beyond recognition began to spread around the city. I was home visiting family for the holidays when Curtis Vance was arrested for Anne's murder. At that point I had only heard about the story through the national wire at the paper. It was quite strange hearing all the conspiracy theories from the locals, but there were some details that I found very hard to believe. The day of his arrest, I caught myself calling all of my sisters telling them to watch the news, even though I knew nothing about Anne Pressly or the suspect.
As sad and impersonal as it is, I think most people were fascinated with this case because of how badly she was beaten - this beautiful, blue-eyed blond whose entire face was broken. The way her face was described was left up to your own interpretation. Some people speculated that Anne had died that first day, and police were telling people she was alive until they had a suspect. Everyone was clamoring for a glimpse of the medical examiner's report, and a number of doctors and nurses were either fired or reprimanded for looking at Anne Pressly's medical records.
I think there's that morbid curiosity in all of us. We all rubber-neck at car accidents. We all want to see Michael Jackson's autopsy report. We all want to know the cause of death when we read the obituary of a young person. I don't think there's anything wrong with that as long as we remember that we are intruding on someone else pain.
For those of you who want a second look, this show will air again on Jan. 26, on the ID channel. Check your local listings for times.
I work for a newspaper and we get hundreds of stories everyday that are full of tragic tales like Anne Pressly and Jasmine Fiore. But what we don't always get is the human side - the pain of those family members who have lost a loved one. That's why shows like this are a must see for me. It's the chance for mothers and fathers, friends and lovers to share their stories.
"TV Murders: Jasmine Fiore and Anne Pressly" (TLC, Sun., 9:00) recounts the details of the brutal murders or two blond beauties. Both of these stories have local connections for me. Anne Pressly was a popular TV anchorwoman in Little Rock, Arkansas, the capital city of my home state. I grew up about 30 minutes outside of Little Rock and my whole family still lives there. Jasmine Fiore's killer triggered a manhunt across Washington state. I live in Seattle and was working in the newsroom the night they thought they had Jasmine's killer cornered at the Canadian border in Blaine.Jasmine was a 28-year-old bikini model whose whirlwind romance with a reality TV contestant may have cost her her life. Jasmine's body was found stuffed in a suitcase in a garbage bin with her fingertips and teeth removed. Police identified her by the serial number on her breast implants. Rewind: This is called the "CSI effect". People were so surprised when police said that's how they learned her identity, but they've been doing that on "CSI" for years. After learning that Jasmine was last seen with her estranged husband, Ryan Jenkins, police immediately turned their attention to finding him.
Ryan had just wrapped up a stint on the VH1 reality show, "Megan Wants a Milliona
ire" where he earned the nickname "Smooth Operator". He took meticulous steps to cover up Jasmine's murder (as if removing her fingers and teeth weren't enough). He then escapes to Canada after eluding the police, but later commits suicide by hanging himself in a motel closet. VH1 underwent much scrutiny about its background checks for reality contestants after it was discovered that Ryan Jenkins already had a record that included assault charges.Anne Pressly, 26, was savagely beaten, raped and left for dead in her own home. Word of her attack left Little Rock in a state of shock, especially when details of how she had been beaten beyond recognition began to spread around the city. I was home visiting family for the holidays when Curtis Vance was arrested for Anne's murder. At that point I had only heard about the story through the national wire at the paper. It was quite strange hearing all the conspiracy theories from the locals, but there were some details that I found very hard to believe. The day of his arrest, I caught myself calling all of my sisters telling them to watch the news, even though I knew nothing about Anne Pressly or the suspect.
As sad and impersonal as it is, I think most people were fascinated with this case because of how badly she was beaten - this beautiful, blue-eyed blond whose entire face was broken. The way her face was described was left up to your own interpretation. Some people speculated that Anne had died that first day, and police were telling people she was alive until they had a suspect. Everyone was clamoring for a glimpse of the medical examiner's report, and a number of doctors and nurses were either fired or reprimanded for looking at Anne Pressly's medical records.
I think there's that morbid curiosity in all of us. We all rubber-neck at car accidents. We all want to see Michael Jackson's autopsy report. We all want to know the cause of death when we read the obituary of a young person. I don't think there's anything wrong with that as long as we remember that we are intruding on someone else pain.
For those of you who want a second look, this show will air again on Jan. 26, on the ID channel. Check your local listings for times.
I pick, you pick
It's the official start of award season with the Golden Globes (NBC, Sun., 5:00) kicking off the revolving door of accolades. I try to stay away from award shows because my favorites are never nominated, let alone win any of the major categories (HELLO! "Friday Night Lights!" Wake up voters!) And here of late, premium cable programming has the monopoly on nominations. I don't usually make predictions either, but tonight I'll make an exception. Here are my picks in the top TV categories (Winners are in bold*):
BEST TELEVISION SERIES - DRAMA
Big Love (HBO)
Dexter (Showtime)*
House (FOX)
Mad Men (AMC)
True Blood (HBO)
I don't watch any of these shows because I don't have premium cable. Tried to get into "Mad Men" but I wasn't sold on it. I did see "Dexter" when it aired (watered down) on CBS for a season, and with all the buzz created from the finale, I'm going to go with that one. But I'm pretty certain it will go to "Mad Men".
BEST ACTRESS - DRAMA
Glenn Close - Damages (FX)*
January Jones - Mad Men (AMC)
Julianna Margulies - The Good Wife (CBS)
Anna Paquin - True Blood (HBO)
Kyra Sedgwick - The Closer (TNT)
My gut tells me to go with Julianna Margulies but I think voters are going to reward Glenn Close with her second trophy as cutthroat attorney Patty Hewes. It doesn't matter though because the Globe will go to January Jones.
BEST ACTOR - DRAMA
Simon Baker - The Mentalist (CBS)
Michael C. Hall - Dexter (Showtime)
Jon Hamm - Mad Men (AMC)
Hugh Laurie - House (FOX)*
Bill Paxton - Big Love (HBO)
Again, I don't watch any of these shows but after hearing all the buzz about Hugh Laurie's performance in the season premier of "House," I watched the episode online. It was totally award-worthy, but once again, Jon Hamm will take the prize.
BE
ST TELEVISION SERIES - COMEDY OR MUSICAL
ST TELEVISION SERIES - COMEDY OR MUSICAL30 Rock (NBC)
Entourage (HBO)
Glee (FOX)*
Modern Family (ABC)
The Office (NBC)
My favorite new show this season, "Glee" just happens to fill the quota for this category - it's a comedy and a musical. While my money is on "Glee", I won't be disappointed if "Modern Family" wins.
BEST ACTRESS - COMEDY
Toni Collette - The United States of Tara (HBO)
Courteney Cox - Cougar Town (ABC)
Edie Falco - Nurse Jackie (HBO)*
Tina Fey - 30 Rock (NBC)
Lea Michele - Glee (FOX)
I saw the pilot episode of "Nurse Jackie" and haven't seen another episode since. I would love to see newbie Lea Michele score one on her first turn at bat, but these award shows love a sure thing.
BEST ACTOR - COMEDY
Alec Baldwin - 30 Rock (NBC)*
Steve Carell - The Office (NBC)
David Duchovny - Californication (Showtime)
Thomas Jane - Hung (HBO)
Matthew Morrison - Glee (FOX)
The comedy category is usually the most predictable. I would love to see "Glee" sweep the Globes, but Alec Baldwin will more than likely take home the trophy ... again. And I've never seen the show, but I would love to hear a Thomas Jane acceptance speech for playing a well-endowed prostitute. Only on HBO.
OTHER PREDICTIONS:
SUPPORTING ACTRESS: This should be the first of many awards for "Glee's" Jane Lynch. Her turn as Coach Sue was one of the most talked about performances of the year.
SUPPORTING ACTOR: It's a toss-up between Michael Emerson ("Lost"), Neil Patrick Harris ("How I Met Your Mother"), William Hurt ("Damages") and John Lithgow ("Dexter"). I'm pulling for Michael Emerson or William Hurt. But after NPH earned rave reviews for his hosting gigs, I fear he will win just because he's memorable.
As for movies, I want to see "The Hangover" win for best comedy and Mo'Nique to take home the Best Supporting Actress win for her role in "Precious".
I've pled my case. Bang the gavel. Who are you pulling for?
Friday, January 15, 2010
Watch this, tape that - Weekend
What a week. Time to exhale. Oh wait! "24" premieres on Sunday and the 10 o'clock hour is loaded. Better hold your breath again.
FRIDAY
8:00
Watch this: "Ghost Whisperer" (CBS). I'm kind of over Melinda, but I keep watching cause nothing else is on.
9:00
Watch this: "Medium" (CBS). I love the DuBois family. You should too!
SUNDAY
8:00
Watch this: "The Wronged Man" (Lifetime). A paralegal fights to prove the innocence of a wrongly convicted black man. You can tune in, but be warned that "24" starts at 9:00.
9:00
Watch this: "24" (FOX). 2-hour season premiere. Jack Bauer is in an Empire State of mind when the show moves to New York. Jack is drawn back into the homeland-security business when a Middle Eastern leader visits the U.S.
Tape that: "Cold Case" (CBS).
See it online: "Desperate Housewives" (ABC). Breathe easy, Wisteria Lane. Katherine is seeing a shrink.
Also on: "TV Murders: Jasmine Fiore and Anne Pressly" (TLC). The story behind the two gruesome murders of a swimsuit model and a TV anchorwoman. Show will repeat at midnight.
10:00
Watch this: "Brothers & Sisters" (ABC). Kitty ponders her future.
Tape that: "The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty" (A&E). The brothers' reunion concert is canceled.
Also on: "BET News: Obama One Year Anniversary Special" (BET). The title says it all.
FRIDAY
8:00
Watch this: "Ghost Whisperer" (CBS). I'm kind of over Melinda, but I keep watching cause nothing else is on.
9:00
Watch this: "Medium" (CBS). I love the DuBois family. You should too!
SUNDAY
8:00
Watch this: "The Wronged Man" (Lifetime). A paralegal fights to prove the innocence of a wrongly convicted black man. You can tune in, but be warned that "24" starts at 9:00.
9:00
Watch this: "24" (FOX). 2-hour season premiere. Jack Bauer is in an Empire State of mind when the show moves to New York. Jack is drawn back into the homeland-security business when a Middle Eastern leader visits the U.S.
Tape that: "Cold Case" (CBS).
See it online: "Desperate Housewives" (ABC). Breathe easy, Wisteria Lane. Katherine is seeing a shrink.
Also on: "TV Murders: Jasmine Fiore and Anne Pressly" (TLC). The story behind the two gruesome murders of a swimsuit model and a TV anchorwoman. Show will repeat at midnight.
10:00
Watch this: "Brothers & Sisters" (ABC). Kitty ponders her future.
Tape that: "The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty" (A&E). The brothers' reunion concert is canceled.
Also on: "BET News: Obama One Year Anniversary Special" (BET). The title says it all.
Who's who
The week of premieres continues with the return of some old favorites. The shows were so good that I found myself excited to host the Watch Party. It was a good night for TV! Let's talk about ...
"Project Runway" (Lifetime, 10:00): It's an all new season of "Runway," and an eclectic batch of designers are here to show us if they're worth their weight in sewing thread. Last year's fiasco of moving the show to L.A. left us without our favorite judges for most of the season, but Nina Garcia and Michael Kors are back as the show returns to New York City.
We have two area designers representing the Northwest: Seth Aaron, 38, of Vancouver, WA, and 28-year-old Janeane Marie from Portland, home of Season 5 winner Leanne Marshall. Pause it: FYI, I'm not gonna be calling this guy by 2 names all season. I'll give him another week before I find him a fitting nickname.
Looking at the designers' portfolios during introductions, there are quite a few interesting stitchers in the bunch. Double-duty Ping has a day job that allows her to "liberate the body movement": she a physical therapist. You can fully expect her to be the weird one. Maya's designs looked very fashion-forward and unique. There's Emilio, a costume designer from the Dominican Republic. And who can forget Anthony, the southern gay man with the biting sense of humor.
For the first challenge, Tim Gunn tasks the designers with creating a look that represents their point of view. They are given three minutes to grab fabric that has been spread through Central Park then another five minutes to edit down their choices to just five fabrics. "Tim says 'go' and we are like fat people at an open buffet in Vegas," Emilio says. They get one day to finish their creations and the winner gets immunity.
Janeane Marie is off to a rocky start when her little black dress becomes a little hot mess. She starts over with only two hours left in the day. Pause it: This chick is waaaay too emotional. It's only the first episode girl! I'm not gonna watch you cry your way through the season! Ping's outfit looked like she tossed a pile of fabric in the air and her model just stood underneath. Slap on some rope and you would've had yourself a parachute. I don't know what they wear over in Vancouver, but Seth Aaron's model looked like she was ready for a couture hoedown in the plaid frock he came up with. I loved Maya's ruffled-collar dress and Emilio's creative pattern, but Amy's dress looked exactly like a design from Leanne's final runway show with the fitted top and the bubble, wavy-flapped skirt.
I couldn't believe the judges loved Seth Aaron's dress, but fortunately it was Emilio's "deceptively simple" design and technical execution that earned him the first win. Anthony, over-confident Christiane and "Hershey chocolate bar" designing Jesus sweated it out in the bottom three. Heidi tells Jesus he's in, making Chrisitane Season 7's first casualty. She boasted alot about being a designer who uses a lot of color, and it would've been cool to see her make good on that promise. But her cocky attitude was a turn-off. Auf wiedersehen, Braggy McBraggerton!
Finishing touches: Anthony already established himself as the comic relief for this season. He gave us some of the funniest material since Santino Rice's impression of Tim Gunn in Season 2. Here are some of Anthony's funniest lines:
All the cliches are here: the troublemaker, the nerd, the late-bloomer and the football star. There's also the ladies man, the cheerleaders, the gay guy and the hot girls. When the classmates were arriving one-by-one, it was funny to watch their expressions as they quickly assessed who it was and how they remembered each other. But poor Cyndi, the class nerd, was unrecognizable. To make matters worse, they still didn't remember her even after she told them who she was. Talk about being invisible. But she won't be for long after she reveals she became an exotic dancer. *Handing Cyndi award for "Most Likely to be Remembered"*
Lissett and Elena called themselves "The Summer Girls" in high school. In their eyes they were the hottest, most popular girls in Chapparal High, but their peers thought otherwise. "They were the biggest bitches in school," says John the troublemaker. Lissett says she's back to prove she is more than just a pretty face. Pause it: Yes, sweetie, that's true. It's not pretty, it's plastic now. Here's your award for "Best Body On a Payment Plan". Football star Joe wants to rekindle the flame with high school sweetheart Jodi, but late-bloomer Rachelle hopes she can score a touchdown this time around. (Vomiting in mouth over Joe hearts Jodi. I'm sure they wore matching shirts, too.) And if I were ladies man Antanus's girlfriend before the show, I certainly wouldn't be after watching this episode. Dude, if you've been dating someone for three years, you're not single. You're damn near common-law spouses!
I didn't go to my 10-year reunion and I only keep in touch with a handful of my classmates (shout out to Jennifer and Piper!). You'll have to come to the Watch Party to follow these clowns!
The show airs on Wednesday nights but I caught this one on repeat.
"Project Runway" (Lifetime, 10:00): It's an all new season of "Runway," and an eclectic batch of designers are here to show us if they're worth their weight in sewing thread. Last year's fiasco of moving the show to L.A. left us without our favorite judges for most of the season, but Nina Garcia and Michael Kors are back as the show returns to New York City.We have two area designers representing the Northwest: Seth Aaron, 38, of Vancouver, WA, and 28-year-old Janeane Marie from Portland, home of Season 5 winner Leanne Marshall. Pause it: FYI, I'm not gonna be calling this guy by 2 names all season. I'll give him another week before I find him a fitting nickname.
Looking at the designers' portfolios during introductions, there are quite a few interesting stitchers in the bunch. Double-duty Ping has a day job that allows her to "liberate the body movement": she a physical therapist. You can fully expect her to be the weird one. Maya's designs looked very fashion-forward and unique. There's Emilio, a costume designer from the Dominican Republic. And who can forget Anthony, the southern gay man with the biting sense of humor.
For the first challenge, Tim Gunn tasks the designers with creating a look that represents their point of view. They are given three minutes to grab fabric that has been spread through Central Park then another five minutes to edit down their choices to just five fabrics. "Tim says 'go' and we are like fat people at an open buffet in Vegas," Emilio says. They get one day to finish their creations and the winner gets immunity.
Janeane Marie is off to a rocky start when her little black dress becomes a little hot mess. She starts over with only two hours left in the day. Pause it: This chick is waaaay too emotional. It's only the first episode girl! I'm not gonna watch you cry your way through the season! Ping's outfit looked like she tossed a pile of fabric in the air and her model just stood underneath. Slap on some rope and you would've had yourself a parachute. I don't know what they wear over in Vancouver, but Seth Aaron's model looked like she was ready for a couture hoedown in the plaid frock he came up with. I loved Maya's ruffled-collar dress and Emilio's creative pattern, but Amy's dress looked exactly like a design from Leanne's final runway show with the fitted top and the bubble, wavy-flapped skirt.
I couldn't believe the judges loved Seth Aaron's dress, but fortunately it was Emilio's "deceptively simple" design and technical execution that earned him the first win. Anthony, over-confident Christiane and "Hershey chocolate bar" designing Jesus sweated it out in the bottom three. Heidi tells Jesus he's in, making Chrisitane Season 7's first casualty. She boasted alot about being a designer who uses a lot of color, and it would've been cool to see her make good on that promise. But her cocky attitude was a turn-off. Auf wiedersehen, Braggy McBraggerton!
Finishing touches: Anthony already established himself as the comic relief for this season. He gave us some of the funniest material since Santino Rice's impression of Tim Gunn in Season 2. Here are some of Anthony's funniest lines:
- "My ultimate goal is to be one of the gown designers for Miss U.S.A. and Miss Universe. *whispering* I don't really care for Miss America."
- The guys were discussing who would get the broken bed which Jay volunteers to take because he's the smallest guy in the bunch. This leads to all the men announcing how much they weigh. "I'm 180" ... "I'm 145" ... "I'm 152"... "And I'm thirsty," says the husky Anthony.
- "I'm sweating like a baptist preacher!"
But what's funny to me may not be as entertaining to Mrs. Klum. When Anthony found out he was safe and made a dramatic deal about it, she rushed him off the stage with agitation in her voice.
It looks like the show is ready to bounce back from last season's snoozefest, and I'm excited to see these contestants rip the runway.
All the cliches are here: the troublemaker, the nerd, the late-bloomer and the football star. There's also the ladies man, the cheerleaders, the gay guy and the hot girls. When the classmates were arriving one-by-one, it was funny to watch their expressions as they quickly assessed who it was and how they remembered each other. But poor Cyndi, the class nerd, was unrecognizable. To make matters worse, they still didn't remember her even after she told them who she was. Talk about being invisible. But she won't be for long after she reveals she became an exotic dancer. *Handing Cyndi award for "Most Likely to be Remembered"*
Lissett and Elena called themselves "The Summer Girls" in high school. In their eyes they were the hottest, most popular girls in Chapparal High, but their peers thought otherwise. "They were the biggest bitches in school," says John the troublemaker. Lissett says she's back to prove she is more than just a pretty face. Pause it: Yes, sweetie, that's true. It's not pretty, it's plastic now. Here's your award for "Best Body On a Payment Plan". Football star Joe wants to rekindle the flame with high school sweetheart Jodi, but late-bloomer Rachelle hopes she can score a touchdown this time around. (Vomiting in mouth over Joe hearts Jodi. I'm sure they wore matching shirts, too.) And if I were ladies man Antanus's girlfriend before the show, I certainly wouldn't be after watching this episode. Dude, if you've been dating someone for three years, you're not single. You're damn near common-law spouses!
I didn't go to my 10-year reunion and I only keep in touch with a handful of my classmates (shout out to Jennifer and Piper!). You'll have to come to the Watch Party to follow these clowns!
The show airs on Wednesday nights but I caught this one on repeat.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Watch this, tape that - Thursday
Pull up a chair! Here's what's on:
8:00
Watch this: "Bones" (FOX). You can see it online if you want.
9:00
Watch this: "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC). Another crossover event. Addison helps McSteamy with an operation on his daughter. If "Grey's" really wants Addison back, they should get rid of "Private Practice" and bring her back. Enough with the crossover episodes.
Tape that: "CSI:" (CBS). Yay! I've missed the Vegas lab!
Also on: "30 Rock" (NBC). I don't watch it, but I thought I'd remind those who do.
10:00
Watch this: "Private Practice" (ABC). Well, you really don't have a choice but to watch if you want to see what happens with Mark's daughter.
Tape that: "Project Runway" (Lifetime). Season 7 premiere. After making us suffer through last year's mess of a show, "Runway" had better bring it this season.
8:00
Watch this: "Bones" (FOX). You can see it online if you want.
9:00
Watch this: "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC). Another crossover event. Addison helps McSteamy with an operation on his daughter. If "Grey's" really wants Addison back, they should get rid of "Private Practice" and bring her back. Enough with the crossover episodes.
Tape that: "CSI:" (CBS). Yay! I've missed the Vegas lab!
Also on: "30 Rock" (NBC). I don't watch it, but I thought I'd remind those who do.
10:00
Watch this: "Private Practice" (ABC). Well, you really don't have a choice but to watch if you want to see what happens with Mark's daughter.
Tape that: "Project Runway" (Lifetime). Season 7 premiere. After making us suffer through last year's mess of a show, "Runway" had better bring it this season.
Guys and dolls
Light night so I'm keeping it short and sweet.
"American Idol" (FOX, 8:00): At least 10,000 people turned out for the Atlanta auditions where Mary J. Blige joined the panel as guest judge. I'm not surprised that the Aye-Tee-El turned out a ton of talent. Seven of the 8 "Idol" winners are from southern states, although I wouldn't really consider Oklahoma as a southern state. (Sorry, Carrie Underwood). Jordin Sparks of Arizona is the lone outsider. I only watched 60 minutes of this extended show, but the part I did see made me proud to be a country girl.
Out of all the wacky people that trapsed in, only one audition really stood out to me. As I was listening to "country girl from the country" Vanessa Wolfe's sob story, all I could do was pray that she had some talent. It would've been a shame to sit through 2 minutes of her telling us how she wanted to break free from her small town only to have her be denied a ticket to Hollywood. And even though I didn't think her voice was that great , I still wanted her to make it through. "I'm gonna ride on a aeroplane!" she exclaimed.
I was shocked that annoying "Skii Bo Ski" could actually carry a tune, but oh so thankful that my recorder switched over to "Criminal Minds" before I could hear his spiel about how he's like a dollar store. Moving on ...
"Criminal Minds" (CBS, 9:00): I haven't watched this show in so long I've forgotten the names of the characters. I stopped watching this show for a period and after tonight, I remember why. Indeed, this had to be one of the creepiest episodes I have ever seen. I almost didn't finish watching it because the hairs on my arm were standing at attention.
Some crazy lunatic was kidnapping women, paralyzing them, then dressing them up like dolls. There was a lot of technical talk about physical immobility and mental awareness, but all I could focus on was how scary those girls looked. I don't know who those ladies were playing the parts, but if Emmys were handed for Best Actress With a Creepy Doll Face, those girls would definitely go home award winners. I will never look at a doll the same way again. Shudder!
Funny lines overheard on "Ugly Betty" (ABC, 10:00):
"American Idol" (FOX, 8:00): At least 10,000 people turned out for the Atlanta auditions where Mary J. Blige joined the panel as guest judge. I'm not surprised that the Aye-Tee-El turned out a ton of talent. Seven of the 8 "Idol" winners are from southern states, although I wouldn't really consider Oklahoma as a southern state. (Sorry, Carrie Underwood). Jordin Sparks of Arizona is the lone outsider. I only watched 60 minutes of this extended show, but the part I did see made me proud to be a country girl.
Out of all the wacky people that trapsed in, only one audition really stood out to me. As I was listening to "country girl from the country" Vanessa Wolfe's sob story, all I could do was pray that she had some talent. It would've been a shame to sit through 2 minutes of her telling us how she wanted to break free from her small town only to have her be denied a ticket to Hollywood. And even though I didn't think her voice was that great , I still wanted her to make it through. "I'm gonna ride on a aeroplane!" she exclaimed.
I was shocked that annoying "Skii Bo Ski" could actually carry a tune, but oh so thankful that my recorder switched over to "Criminal Minds" before I could hear his spiel about how he's like a dollar store. Moving on ...
"Criminal Minds" (CBS, 9:00): I haven't watched this show in so long I've forgotten the names of the characters. I stopped watching this show for a period and after tonight, I remember why. Indeed, this had to be one of the creepiest episodes I have ever seen. I almost didn't finish watching it because the hairs on my arm were standing at attention.
Some crazy lunatic was kidnapping women, paralyzing them, then dressing them up like dolls. There was a lot of technical talk about physical immobility and mental awareness, but all I could focus on was how scary those girls looked. I don't know who those ladies were playing the parts, but if Emmys were handed for Best Actress With a Creepy Doll Face, those girls would definitely go home award winners. I will never look at a doll the same way again. Shudder!
Funny lines overheard on "Ugly Betty" (ABC, 10:00):
- "You're not paid for your voice, you're paid to imitate mine!" - Wilhemina to Betty after she pitches a story that goes against the one she was assigned.
- "The ingredients are chicken broth, evil and dirt." - Justin complaining about the taste of the soup Bobby brought over to cure his fever.
Best line from Simon Cowell: "It's like a cat barking." Where does his mind go to come up with this stuff?
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Watch this, tape that - Wednesday
Now that we're finally out of the holiday slump, it's back to juggling the Wednesday Watch Party. Here are your viewing choices:
8:00
Watch this: "American Idol" (FOX). The auditions continue. Pace yourselves. We've got at least 2 more weeks of auditions. At least.
9:00
Watch this: "Modern Family" (ABC). Normally I would tell you to watch this online, but this show is simply too funny to miss!
Tape that: "Law & Order: SVU" (NBC). Now that Leno may be moving back to a time that I don't care about, maybe my beloved Benson and Stabler can move back to Tuesdays. Tonight, a wealthy couple are murdered, and their daughter is the prime suspect.
Also on: "Criminal Minds" (CBS). If you want to see it, better watch it live. It's not available on the web.
10:00
Watch this: "High School Reunion" (TV Land). Season 3 premiere. Take a trip with me to 1989 and reunite with some Las Vegas alumni. They totally have the class cliches pegged.
Tape that: "Brace for Impact: The Chesley B. Sullenberger Story" (TLC). As if meeting the president wasn't enough, now Capt. Sully gets his own TV special.
See it online: "Ugly Betty" (ABC.com). Daniel thinks Marc is undermining him.
Also on: "CSI: NY" (CBS). A brutal stabbing is probed and the team learns that some of the crime scene evidence was planted. Also available through On Demand.
8:00
Watch this: "American Idol" (FOX). The auditions continue. Pace yourselves. We've got at least 2 more weeks of auditions. At least.
9:00
Watch this: "Modern Family" (ABC). Normally I would tell you to watch this online, but this show is simply too funny to miss!
Tape that: "Law & Order: SVU" (NBC). Now that Leno may be moving back to a time that I don't care about, maybe my beloved Benson and Stabler can move back to Tuesdays. Tonight, a wealthy couple are murdered, and their daughter is the prime suspect.
Also on: "Criminal Minds" (CBS). If you want to see it, better watch it live. It's not available on the web.
10:00
Watch this: "High School Reunion" (TV Land). Season 3 premiere. Take a trip with me to 1989 and reunite with some Las Vegas alumni. They totally have the class cliches pegged.
Tape that: "Brace for Impact: The Chesley B. Sullenberger Story" (TLC). As if meeting the president wasn't enough, now Capt. Sully gets his own TV special.
See it online: "Ugly Betty" (ABC.com). Daniel thinks Marc is undermining him.
Also on: "CSI: NY" (CBS). A brutal stabbing is probed and the team learns that some of the crime scene evidence was planted. Also available through On Demand.
Life, liberty and the pursuit of instant fame
It was a crazy day and an even crazier night, so I had a hard time cramming it all in. But the Watch Party goes on with or without me so I figured I'd better suck it up. Here's what I saw between naps:
"American Idol" (FOX, 8:00): For the last few seasons, I have barely watched "Idol" past the audition rounds. I have soured on this show now that people have shucked the actual talent factor and show up for auditions with the I-want-to-be-on-TV-so-I'm-going-to-be-obnoxious routine. It's not like that doesn't happen on all reality-competition shows (remember "Sex" from "So You Think You Can Dance"?), but there is something about "American Idol" that brings out some of the most delusional people I have ever seen. There's also this sense of self-entitlement where everyone feels like they deserve to be famous. Pause it: How about finding a cure for ingrown toenails or figuring out what those numbers mean on "Lost"? That is something that will make you famous.
Season 9 auditions kick off in Boston where a crowd of 9,000 waited in the pouring rain for a chance to shine in front of Randy, nu-Paula and Simon. Pause it: FOX can deny, deny, deny but I'm most certain that bringing in Kara DioGuardi as a so-called "fourth judge" was the nail in Paula's coffin. Victoria Beckham of Spice Girl fame was brought in to fill the final chair. Pretty much everyone who makes it in front of the panel is seeking some sort of validation from Simon, the most biting judge in the history of reality TV. Pause it: Forget New York! If you can make it in front of Simon, you can make it anywhere. The fact that people show up begging for his approval should prove that "Idol" numbers will likely tumble after his exit.
Only 31 people made it through to Hollywood, so the talent was slim for the picking. There were a few standouts like 16-year old Katie Stevens (the girl with the ailing granny) and Ashley Rodriguez, who wowed the judges with an Alicia Keys song. But Boston wasn't without its weirdos either. Janet McNamera honed her skills by playing the "American Idol" video game. Sorry, honey! A mock "Idol" stage does not a star make. And I can't leave off Mere Doyle, the girl who harbors an obsession for anime and wanted to audition for "American Idol" to become famous in ... Japan?
I'll tell you, I've had coworkers say to me I have a nice voice, but you won't catch me trying to sing in front of an audience. I know what I sound like and they are just being polite. The people who try out for this show should realize that mommy and daddy don't make the most impartial judges.
Note to self: Get one of those "Idol" video games. I wouldn't mind hearing a digital Simon Cowell tell me I'm bloody awful. His best quip of the night - "Is this window open?" - after hearing Janet sing. I also laughed when Randy told Britney-Spears-song-murdering Pat Ford to "stop singing forever." Auditions continue Wednesday in Hotlanta.
I was so tired I could barely pay attention during "Teen Mom" (MTV, 10:00). Of course it would be the episode when Farrah finally decided to step up to the plate of motherhood and show some interest in caring for her daughter. "I can't believe I'm actually getting my work done with Sophia," she says. Well, Farrah, seeing as how this is the first time you've actually tried, we wouldn't have expected you to know that. And let's give it up for Amber, who in the midst of trying to get her G.E.D., fought putting her baby in daycare. Too bad she had to go against her wishes for the greater good of her family's future.
On the season finale of "Tabatha's Salon Takeover" (Bravo, 10:00), she helped a salon where all the stylists had one year of experience. FAIL! Those stylist weren't fit to cut a dog's hair, let alone a humans!
Did you watch "The Good Wife" (CBS, 10:00)? How funny is it that Alicia's ringtone for her mother-in-law is the theme song to "The Twilight Zone"?
After these messages: Why is Emmy-award winning actress Megan Mullally shoveling butter? Really? Butter? Those "Turn the Tub Around" commercials are not only annoying, they also make me want to "turn the volume down". In the words of Karen Walker: "What's this? What's going on here?"
"American Idol" (FOX, 8:00): For the last few seasons, I have barely watched "Idol" past the audition rounds. I have soured on this show now that people have shucked the actual talent factor and show up for auditions with the I-want-to-be-on-TV-so-I'm-going-to-be-obnoxious routine. It's not like that doesn't happen on all reality-competition shows (remember "Sex" from "So You Think You Can Dance"?), but there is something about "American Idol" that brings out some of the most delusional people I have ever seen. There's also this sense of self-entitlement where everyone feels like they deserve to be famous. Pause it: How about finding a cure for ingrown toenails or figuring out what those numbers mean on "Lost"? That is something that will make you famous.Season 9 auditions kick off in Boston where a crowd of 9,000 waited in the pouring rain for a chance to shine in front of Randy, nu-Paula and Simon. Pause it: FOX can deny, deny, deny but I'm most certain that bringing in Kara DioGuardi as a so-called "fourth judge" was the nail in Paula's coffin. Victoria Beckham of Spice Girl fame was brought in to fill the final chair. Pretty much everyone who makes it in front of the panel is seeking some sort of validation from Simon, the most biting judge in the history of reality TV. Pause it: Forget New York! If you can make it in front of Simon, you can make it anywhere. The fact that people show up begging for his approval should prove that "Idol" numbers will likely tumble after his exit.
Only 31 people made it through to Hollywood, so the talent was slim for the picking. There were a few standouts like 16-year old Katie Stevens (the girl with the ailing granny) and Ashley Rodriguez, who wowed the judges with an Alicia Keys song. But Boston wasn't without its weirdos either. Janet McNamera honed her skills by playing the "American Idol" video game. Sorry, honey! A mock "Idol" stage does not a star make. And I can't leave off Mere Doyle, the girl who harbors an obsession for anime and wanted to audition for "American Idol" to become famous in ... Japan?
I'll tell you, I've had coworkers say to me I have a nice voice, but you won't catch me trying to sing in front of an audience. I know what I sound like and they are just being polite. The people who try out for this show should realize that mommy and daddy don't make the most impartial judges.
Note to self: Get one of those "Idol" video games. I wouldn't mind hearing a digital Simon Cowell tell me I'm bloody awful. His best quip of the night - "Is this window open?" - after hearing Janet sing. I also laughed when Randy told Britney-Spears-song-murdering Pat Ford to "stop singing forever." Auditions continue Wednesday in Hotlanta.
CHANNEL SURFING
I was so tired I could barely pay attention during "Teen Mom" (MTV, 10:00). Of course it would be the episode when Farrah finally decided to step up to the plate of motherhood and show some interest in caring for her daughter. "I can't believe I'm actually getting my work done with Sophia," she says. Well, Farrah, seeing as how this is the first time you've actually tried, we wouldn't have expected you to know that. And let's give it up for Amber, who in the midst of trying to get her G.E.D., fought putting her baby in daycare. Too bad she had to go against her wishes for the greater good of her family's future.
On the season finale of "Tabatha's Salon Takeover" (Bravo, 10:00), she helped a salon where all the stylists had one year of experience. FAIL! Those stylist weren't fit to cut a dog's hair, let alone a humans!
Did you watch "The Good Wife" (CBS, 10:00)? How funny is it that Alicia's ringtone for her mother-in-law is the theme song to "The Twilight Zone"?
After these messages: Why is Emmy-award winning actress Megan Mullally shoveling butter? Really? Butter? Those "Turn the Tub Around" commercials are not only annoying, they also make me want to "turn the volume down". In the words of Karen Walker: "What's this? What's going on here?"
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Watch this, tape that - Tuesday
For all of you who have been holding your breath waiting for "Idol" to return, you can exhale now. Here's what's on:
8:00
Watch this: "American Idol" (FOX). Season 9 kicks off with the standard open auditions. If you're tuning in to see new judge Ellen DeGeneres, you've got a few more weeks to go. She wasn't hired until after the audition process. I didn't watch a single episode last season, but me loves me Ellen so I may drop in from time to time. Two hour premiere. (Good Lord help us all!)
Tape that: "The Biggest Loser" (NBC). Time for medical evaluations. As if stripping down and getting on a scale in front of friends and families wasn't embarrassing enough, now the contestants find out that their real age is 53 when they're only 22. Gotta tear 'em down to build 'em back up.
9:00
Watch this: "Independent Lens" (PBS). Takes a look at The Young at Heart Chorus, a senior citizens group who sings unconventional songs. Sounds cute.
Tape that: "How the Earth Was Made" (History). Examining The Ring of Fire, a circle of volcanoes around the Pacific.
Also on: "Frank the Entertainer in a Basement Affair" (VH1). I caught about 10 minutes of this show the other day. If you're coming back for more then I'm officially embarrassed for you.
10:00
Watch this: "Teen Mom" (MTV). I've given up on Farrah having any redeeming qualities. Got my finger on speed dial for Child Protective Services.
Tape that: "Tabatha's Salon Takeover" (Bravo). In the Season 2 finale, the saucy Aussie takes on a failing Illinois salon.
See it online: "The Good Wife" (CBS.com). A high-school quarterback dies from an overdose of painkillers. Also available through On Demand.
8:00
Watch this: "American Idol" (FOX). Season 9 kicks off with the standard open auditions. If you're tuning in to see new judge Ellen DeGeneres, you've got a few more weeks to go. She wasn't hired until after the audition process. I didn't watch a single episode last season, but me loves me Ellen so I may drop in from time to time. Two hour premiere. (Good Lord help us all!)
Tape that: "The Biggest Loser" (NBC). Time for medical evaluations. As if stripping down and getting on a scale in front of friends and families wasn't embarrassing enough, now the contestants find out that their real age is 53 when they're only 22. Gotta tear 'em down to build 'em back up.
9:00
Watch this: "Independent Lens" (PBS). Takes a look at The Young at Heart Chorus, a senior citizens group who sings unconventional songs. Sounds cute.
Tape that: "How the Earth Was Made" (History). Examining The Ring of Fire, a circle of volcanoes around the Pacific.
Also on: "Frank the Entertainer in a Basement Affair" (VH1). I caught about 10 minutes of this show the other day. If you're coming back for more then I'm officially embarrassed for you.
10:00
Watch this: "Teen Mom" (MTV). I've given up on Farrah having any redeeming qualities. Got my finger on speed dial for Child Protective Services.
Tape that: "Tabatha's Salon Takeover" (Bravo). In the Season 2 finale, the saucy Aussie takes on a failing Illinois salon.
See it online: "The Good Wife" (CBS.com). A high-school quarterback dies from an overdose of painkillers. Also available through On Demand.
New beginnings
Everybody wants a second chance, but does everybody really deserve one? That was definitely the running theme among the shows I watched tonight. From re-launching a career to dating after divorce to decluttering a filthy house, everyone was searching for a new beginning. But not everyone got their happy ending. Here's a rundown:
"Men of a Certain Age" (TNT, 10:00): It's been a long time since a show made me laugh so hard that I cried, but that's exactly what happened while watching this show.
Now don't be alarmed when I say this, but I have never seen an episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" so I wasn't really sure what to expect when I latched on to this show. But Ray Romano's comedic timing and subtle humor makes this a show that will leave feeling entertained. In this episode, Romano's character Joe recounts to his buddies the ups and downs of his first date in 20 years.
Terry, the man-whore of the group, sets Joe up with his friend Dori. It was so funny listening to him tell the story as we got to see how each moment played out. We've all been there before with the clunky first encounter and the stress of picking the right outfit. But to hear this teen-aged conversation between three middle-aged men was priceless. Pause it: Who else winced during Joe and Dori's awkward instant message exchange? C'mon, Joe! Everybody knows it's all about the fantasy.
Joe's nervous energy was so endearing, especially when he forgets Terry's advice and opts for "weird honesty". Instead of lying, Joe decided to tell the truth, no matter how bizarre it would make him look. Forget LOL, I was literally doubled over guffawing during their bungled make-out session. I can't do this episode any justice trying to explain it in my blog and I won't ruin the ending. You gotta see it for yourself online or watch it via On Demand. It's definitely worth a second date!
Some funnies:
Carrie and Jared, Linda's kids are on the verge of severing all ties with their mother because they feel like they're the ones doing the parenting by constantly having to tell her what to do. "If she wants a new life she's gotta get rid of the old," Carrie says. The tension is thick between mother and daughter, and they spend more time arguing than they do cleaning. Even the professional cleaner acknowledges that the family needs therapy before they can tackle a job like Linda's. They wasted 2 days cleaning out her garage only to have her go through all the trash and take most of it back inside the house.
Rewind: The cleaning guy introduced himself as an "extreme cleaning expert". I would argue that being an extreme cleaner would lump you into a category as someone who suffers from an obsessive compulsive disorder of their own. Am I right or am I right people? And I learned about a new disease tonight: chronic disorganization. The guy who sits next to me at work has that same illness. Sorry, Rob. I gotta call it like I see it.
"Fantasia For Real" (VH1, 10:00): Per usual, a recording artist on the verge of releasing a new album decides to do a reality TV show. This time it's "American Idol" Season 3 winner Fantasia Barrino. Pause it: Whatever happened to good old promotional tours and public appearances? Fanny's last album was a flop compared to her 2004 debut Free Yourself, and given her recent financial problems, she's going to need a hit record post-haste.
I'm assuming the show is supposed to show us how Fantasia battles back from the brink of financial ruin, but all it really does is shift the blame to her mooching family. She's supporting six people on one income but the fact that she's without money is her fault, not theirs. As someone who comes from a large family and been used as an ATM a time or two, I know how hard it is to say 'no' to a sibling in need. But if I can't pay my own bills because I'm too busy helping someone else, that's on me. Fantasia needs to get a backbone, especially when it comes to her freeloading brother Joe, aka Teeny. This dude has such a sense of entitlement that he has the nerve to spend the day shopping for Ferraris instead of getting off his ass and looking for a job. I see him landing in the same place that I've relegated Jermaine Jackson: my s#&! list.
"Fantasia" isn't nearly as raw as Keyshia Cole's BET hit "The Way It Is", but you can't deny the girl's got talent. I'll stick around if only to get a preview of her new album, but I'll have the volume at about a 5. Her speaking voice is like listening to those Budweiser frogs: cute at first but gets old after the third time. Oh, and lose the extreme close-ups. If they zoom in any closer you could see Tasia's tonsils.
CHANNEL SURFING
Once again I fell asleep before the ending of "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" (ABC Family, 8:00), but all they do is talk about sex and babies. This show makes it seem like sex is the only thing that teenagers are struggling with today. What about drug use or dealing with school bullies or cheating on tests? It can't all be about sex can it?
"Make It or Break It" (ABC Family, 9:00): Are the writers going to tag team Emily's love interests every other season? At first she was falling for Razor (awful nickname) then he left town and she fell for Damon. But wait! Damon's in a band so he has to move to L.A. so Emily is catchin' feelings for Razor again. Looks like the writing team is running short on ideas.
"Men of a Certain Age" (TNT, 10:00): It's been a long time since a show made me laugh so hard that I cried, but that's exactly what happened while watching this show.
Now don't be alarmed when I say this, but I have never seen an episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" so I wasn't really sure what to expect when I latched on to this show. But Ray Romano's comedic timing and subtle humor makes this a show that will leave feeling entertained. In this episode, Romano's character Joe recounts to his buddies the ups and downs of his first date in 20 years.Terry, the man-whore of the group, sets Joe up with his friend Dori. It was so funny listening to him tell the story as we got to see how each moment played out. We've all been there before with the clunky first encounter and the stress of picking the right outfit. But to hear this teen-aged conversation between three middle-aged men was priceless. Pause it: Who else winced during Joe and Dori's awkward instant message exchange? C'mon, Joe! Everybody knows it's all about the fantasy.
Joe's nervous energy was so endearing, especially when he forgets Terry's advice and opts for "weird honesty". Instead of lying, Joe decided to tell the truth, no matter how bizarre it would make him look. Forget LOL, I was literally doubled over guffawing during their bungled make-out session. I can't do this episode any justice trying to explain it in my blog and I won't ruin the ending. You gotta see it for yourself online or watch it via On Demand. It's definitely worth a second date!
Some funnies:
- Joe to Terry while shopping for condoms: "How do I know if it's my size?" Terry: "See if they have a fitting room."
- Joe, explaining to Dori his escape plan if the date was going south: "I was going to start a fire in the bathroom and wait for the sprinklers to go off."
- Owen, getting frustrated by the length of the story: "Did you get the black eye by falling asleep and banging your head on the table because the story took too long?"
- Terry: "Joe, I told you not to think!" Joe replies, "I was trying not to."
Question: Do you have an "out" for a bad first date? I can't tell you mine on here, but I'd love to hear about your escape route from a crappy date.
"Hoarders" (A&E, 10:00): Sometimes you have to wonder why people agree to be on a show like this. Or better yet, why producers agree to tell certain stories when it's obvious these people need more that just a cleaning crew. Linda, a 56-year-old from Virginia, says her house is very cluttered. Pause it: That's your first mistake, honey - not recognizing the filth. Clutter is a stack of papers on the dining room table. You've got piles of rotting food and clothes on yours.Carrie and Jared, Linda's kids are on the verge of severing all ties with their mother because they feel like they're the ones doing the parenting by constantly having to tell her what to do. "If she wants a new life she's gotta get rid of the old," Carrie says. The tension is thick between mother and daughter, and they spend more time arguing than they do cleaning. Even the professional cleaner acknowledges that the family needs therapy before they can tackle a job like Linda's. They wasted 2 days cleaning out her garage only to have her go through all the trash and take most of it back inside the house.
Rewind: The cleaning guy introduced himself as an "extreme cleaning expert". I would argue that being an extreme cleaner would lump you into a category as someone who suffers from an obsessive compulsive disorder of their own. Am I right or am I right people? And I learned about a new disease tonight: chronic disorganization. The guy who sits next to me at work has that same illness. Sorry, Rob. I gotta call it like I see it.
"Fantasia For Real" (VH1, 10:00): Per usual, a recording artist on the verge of releasing a new album decides to do a reality TV show. This time it's "American Idol" Season 3 winner Fantasia Barrino. Pause it: Whatever happened to good old promotional tours and public appearances? Fanny's last album was a flop compared to her 2004 debut Free Yourself, and given her recent financial problems, she's going to need a hit record post-haste.I'm assuming the show is supposed to show us how Fantasia battles back from the brink of financial ruin, but all it really does is shift the blame to her mooching family. She's supporting six people on one income but the fact that she's without money is her fault, not theirs. As someone who comes from a large family and been used as an ATM a time or two, I know how hard it is to say 'no' to a sibling in need. But if I can't pay my own bills because I'm too busy helping someone else, that's on me. Fantasia needs to get a backbone, especially when it comes to her freeloading brother Joe, aka Teeny. This dude has such a sense of entitlement that he has the nerve to spend the day shopping for Ferraris instead of getting off his ass and looking for a job. I see him landing in the same place that I've relegated Jermaine Jackson: my s#&! list.
"Fantasia" isn't nearly as raw as Keyshia Cole's BET hit "The Way It Is", but you can't deny the girl's got talent. I'll stick around if only to get a preview of her new album, but I'll have the volume at about a 5. Her speaking voice is like listening to those Budweiser frogs: cute at first but gets old after the third time. Oh, and lose the extreme close-ups. If they zoom in any closer you could see Tasia's tonsils.
CHANNEL SURFING
Once again I fell asleep before the ending of "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" (ABC Family, 8:00), but all they do is talk about sex and babies. This show makes it seem like sex is the only thing that teenagers are struggling with today. What about drug use or dealing with school bullies or cheating on tests? It can't all be about sex can it?
"Make It or Break It" (ABC Family, 9:00): Are the writers going to tag team Emily's love interests every other season? At first she was falling for Razor (awful nickname) then he left town and she fell for Damon. But wait! Damon's in a band so he has to move to L.A. so Emily is catchin' feelings for Razor again. Looks like the writing team is running short on ideas.
Monday, January 11, 2010
News Break - So long, Simon
A mere 7 days before the premiere of "American Idol", the cantankerous - but always right - Simon Cowell has announced that Season 9 will be his last.
Cowell, the driving force behind Britain's hit "The X Factor", is bringing a version to the U.S. in the fall of 2011. He'll serve as a judge on the show as well as executive producer.
"The X Factor" is a talent competition that finds new stars in a variety of entertainment fields, not just music. The show has no age limit and groups are allowed to apply. Pause it: I can see it now - a group of Susan Boyle wannabes doing spoken word performances. The judges are also responsible for mentoring the talent.
Hopefully with Simon leaving, this will be the death of "Idol". I liked the show until they allowed the dreadful Taylor Hicks into the Top 12. Then I dropped in from time to time to see the audition shows. We all figured "Idol" could survive without Paula Abdul, and I'm looking forward to seeing what Ellen DeGeneres will bring to the show. But no Simon Cowell? That's like "Sesame Street" with no Big Bird.
Cowell, the driving force behind Britain's hit "The X Factor", is bringing a version to the U.S. in the fall of 2011. He'll serve as a judge on the show as well as executive producer."The X Factor" is a talent competition that finds new stars in a variety of entertainment fields, not just music. The show has no age limit and groups are allowed to apply. Pause it: I can see it now - a group of Susan Boyle wannabes doing spoken word performances. The judges are also responsible for mentoring the talent.
Hopefully with Simon leaving, this will be the death of "Idol". I liked the show until they allowed the dreadful Taylor Hicks into the Top 12. Then I dropped in from time to time to see the audition shows. We all figured "Idol" could survive without Paula Abdul, and I'm looking forward to seeing what Ellen DeGeneres will bring to the show. But no Simon Cowell? That's like "Sesame Street" with no Big Bird.
Watch this, tape that - Monday
It's a big week of premieres so hang on to your remotes and let's get the party started!
8:00
Watch this: "Secret Life of the American Teenager" (ABC Family). Anne meets up with an old flame. I hope he lights a fire under this show.
Tape that: "The Bachelor" (ABC). Unless you're living under a rock, you already know which chick was gettin' it on with one of the crew members. I'll probably tape it ... you know ... for, ummm, research purposes.
Also on: "How I Met Your Mother" (CBS); "Chuck" (NBC).
9:00
Watch this: "Make It or Break It" (ABC Family). The Rock's old coach, Marty, returns and the girls try to get him fired.
10:00
Watch this: "Hoarders" (A&E). I caught myself opening a bottle of moisturizer and I put the box it came in underneath the sink? Why am I saving that, you ask? I'm tuning in to get some clarity.
Tape that: "CSI: Miami" (CBS). A popular young singer dies after she's engulfed in flames during a concert. Sounds like something that's ripped from the headlines, but I can't recall Britney Spears catching on fire. Don't have time to watch? See it online or watch through On Demand.
See it on second run: "Men of a Certain Age" (TNT). It's on again at 1 am. You don't have to say it. I know.
Also on: "Fantasia For Real" (VH1). Series premiere. The network is following around another C-List star as if we care about their life. This time it's "American Idol" winner Fantasia Barrino. I'll let you know if it's worth checking out.
8:00
Watch this: "Secret Life of the American Teenager" (ABC Family). Anne meets up with an old flame. I hope he lights a fire under this show.
Tape that: "The Bachelor" (ABC). Unless you're living under a rock, you already know which chick was gettin' it on with one of the crew members. I'll probably tape it ... you know ... for, ummm, research purposes.
Also on: "How I Met Your Mother" (CBS); "Chuck" (NBC).
9:00
Watch this: "Make It or Break It" (ABC Family). The Rock's old coach, Marty, returns and the girls try to get him fired.
10:00
Watch this: "Hoarders" (A&E). I caught myself opening a bottle of moisturizer and I put the box it came in underneath the sink? Why am I saving that, you ask? I'm tuning in to get some clarity.
Tape that: "CSI: Miami" (CBS). A popular young singer dies after she's engulfed in flames during a concert. Sounds like something that's ripped from the headlines, but I can't recall Britney Spears catching on fire. Don't have time to watch? See it online or watch through On Demand.
See it on second run: "Men of a Certain Age" (TNT). It's on again at 1 am. You don't have to say it. I know.
Also on: "Fantasia For Real" (VH1). Series premiere. The network is following around another C-List star as if we care about their life. This time it's "American Idol" winner Fantasia Barrino. I'll let you know if it's worth checking out.
Love lockdown
Sundays are becoming such a bore. Only one more week before "24" returns to shake things up a bit. Here's what happened:
"Cold Case" (CBS, 9:00): In 2005, an Army recruiter was found shot in an alley just two days before he was set to deploy for Iraq. In the initial investigation, Michael Donley was written off as a disgraced soldier who was shot after robbing a pawn shop. The roundup of suspects included a handful of recruits Donley was helping, along with their angry parents, a cheating spouse and a grieving father whose son died during deployment. Rush and Valens finally figure out he was murdered by one of his female recruits who felt he was deserting her to go off to war. Pause it: She really wanted the Army signing bonus.
It should certainly be clear by now how I feel about soldiers, although this wasn't one of those episodes that tug at the heartstrings. It focused more on the darker side of the Army - asking high school kids to sign up during a time of war. At least this recruiter had some sympathy about what he was doing. "My place is over there with those kids I send," he explained to his would-be killer. I also learned an interesting term from this episode. A "Jody" is a higher-ranking soldier who doesn't go to combat, but stays home and "takes care of" your wife for you. I wonder if they get workman's comp for that.
Rewind: When did Lily Rush get a ready-made family? They just brought the girl's daddy back last season. I don't remember them introducing a half-brother and a stepmom, but now she's sitting down to dinner with them like they have known each other for years. And were they having full-on meal at 2:00 am? I thought so.
"Desperate Housewives" (ABC, 9:00): I knew it was just a matter of time before the writers found a way to work in Teri Hatcher's love of pole dancing as exercise. At the reading of ex-husband Karl's will (he was the character who died last week), Susan was surprised to learn that the man who had cheated on her their entire marriage, left her part ownership of a strip club. Pause it: The Double Ds Gentlemen's Club ... certainly makes me think about exercise. Susan learns from one of the strippers that Mike is a regular at the club and later tries to forbid him from going back. Mike protests that the club is a client of his plumbing business and he won't be told what to do. Cut to Teri Hat ...er, Susan stripping to prove her point.
I know TV shows like to give it's actors a chance to show off some of their other skills but c'mon now! Pole dancing? We've seen her do it on Letterman. We've seen her do it on Oprah. What I would really like to see her doing is putting her head inside an oven with the gas on. I'm just saying.
Elsewhere on Wisteria Lane: Tom volunteers to fill in for Lynette while she's recovering from losing the baby, but all she can worry about is not having a job after she gives birth. You know how she likes to wear the pants in the Scavo house ... Bree's minister guilts her into bringing Orson home and taking care of him to atone for her affair with Karl. Orson's initial angry soon turned into contempt and he's planning on running Bree ragged as his personal home-health aide. And in the funniest plot of the episode, Gabby's daughter Juanita learns she's not what she thought she was. "We're Mexican? I thought we were American!" Gabby asks, "How could you not know you were Mexican? We eat Mexican food all the time!" Juanita replies, "We eat Chinese food, too. Does that mean I'm Chinese?" Checkmate.
It's about time this show recognized that the Solis family are the only brown people on Wisteria Lane. Yes, there was that black family a few seasons ago, ironically called the Applewhites, but we all know how that ended! Umm hmm! I wonder what would happen if some Abdullahs moved next door. Now that would be a block party worth going to.
"Brothers & Sisters" (ABC, 10:00): A Watch Party viewer pointed out how this show is becoming more and more like a soap opera each week and after this episode, I have to agree. I can't even remember one plot that was worth remembering other than Holly trying to take down the Walker family. Pause it: That's so "Dynasty" circa 1984. I can still enjoy the show for what it's worth, but there is still one thing that is driving me insane: Justin's facial expressions. Or should I say expression - he only has one and he's making it in this picture.
"Cold Case" (CBS, 9:00): In 2005, an Army recruiter was found shot in an alley just two days before he was set to deploy for Iraq. In the initial investigation, Michael Donley was written off as a disgraced soldier who was shot after robbing a pawn shop. The roundup of suspects included a handful of recruits Donley was helping, along with their angry parents, a cheating spouse and a grieving father whose son died during deployment. Rush and Valens finally figure out he was murdered by one of his female recruits who felt he was deserting her to go off to war. Pause it: She really wanted the Army signing bonus.
It should certainly be clear by now how I feel about soldiers, although this wasn't one of those episodes that tug at the heartstrings. It focused more on the darker side of the Army - asking high school kids to sign up during a time of war. At least this recruiter had some sympathy about what he was doing. "My place is over there with those kids I send," he explained to his would-be killer. I also learned an interesting term from this episode. A "Jody" is a higher-ranking soldier who doesn't go to combat, but stays home and "takes care of" your wife for you. I wonder if they get workman's comp for that.
Rewind: When did Lily Rush get a ready-made family? They just brought the girl's daddy back last season. I don't remember them introducing a half-brother and a stepmom, but now she's sitting down to dinner with them like they have known each other for years. And were they having full-on meal at 2:00 am? I thought so.
"Desperate Housewives" (ABC, 9:00): I knew it was just a matter of time before the writers found a way to work in Teri Hatcher's love of pole dancing as exercise. At the reading of ex-husband Karl's will (he was the character who died last week), Susan was surprised to learn that the man who had cheated on her their entire marriage, left her part ownership of a strip club. Pause it: The Double Ds Gentlemen's Club ... certainly makes me think about exercise. Susan learns from one of the strippers that Mike is a regular at the club and later tries to forbid him from going back. Mike protests that the club is a client of his plumbing business and he won't be told what to do. Cut to Teri Hat ...er, Susan stripping to prove her point. I know TV shows like to give it's actors a chance to show off some of their other skills but c'mon now! Pole dancing? We've seen her do it on Letterman. We've seen her do it on Oprah. What I would really like to see her doing is putting her head inside an oven with the gas on. I'm just saying.
Elsewhere on Wisteria Lane: Tom volunteers to fill in for Lynette while she's recovering from losing the baby, but all she can worry about is not having a job after she gives birth. You know how she likes to wear the pants in the Scavo house ... Bree's minister guilts her into bringing Orson home and taking care of him to atone for her affair with Karl. Orson's initial angry soon turned into contempt and he's planning on running Bree ragged as his personal home-health aide. And in the funniest plot of the episode, Gabby's daughter Juanita learns she's not what she thought she was. "We're Mexican? I thought we were American!" Gabby asks, "How could you not know you were Mexican? We eat Mexican food all the time!" Juanita replies, "We eat Chinese food, too. Does that mean I'm Chinese?" Checkmate.
It's about time this show recognized that the Solis family are the only brown people on Wisteria Lane. Yes, there was that black family a few seasons ago, ironically called the Applewhites, but we all know how that ended! Umm hmm! I wonder what would happen if some Abdullahs moved next door. Now that would be a block party worth going to.
"Brothers & Sisters" (ABC, 10:00): A Watch Party viewer pointed out how this show is becoming more and more like a soap opera each week and after this episode, I have to agree. I can't even remember one plot that was worth remembering other than Holly trying to take down the Walker family. Pause it: That's so "Dynasty" circa 1984. I can still enjoy the show for what it's worth, but there is still one thing that is driving me insane: Justin's facial expressions. Or should I say expression - he only has one and he's making it in this picture. The best part of the show for me was seeing one of my favorite child actors in a small guest role. Khamani Griffin was the cutie pie son of Eddie Murphy in the movie "Daddy Day Care". He was also the little kid on "Grey's Anatomy" that had me sobbing for hours. He was really adorable as Bobby Jr. on the show "All of Us" so I'm hoping he's going to grow into those rabbit teeth he's developing. I guess it's not just seniors who get "long in the tooth."
"The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty" (A&E, 10:00): The show picks up with Jermaine still throwing a tantrum over his failed tribute concert for Michael. Ever the comedian, Marlon quips, "The only thing I know about Vienna is the Vienna sausages we used to eat in Gary." The episode was a revolving door of funny lines so I barely noticed if it had a storyline or not. I don't even have to waste time ragging on Jermaine because his brothers did it for me.
The guys head to a fish market to buy meat for grilling, Jackie points to a bug-eyed fish and says that's what Jermaine's pink eye looked like. Later, Tito marinates the steaks with red wine, even though Muslim convert Jermaine doesn't drink. In his confessional time he say he hopes his brother doesn't see this episode and finishes it off with "As-Salamu Alaykum". Hi-larious! Other funny lines from the show:
- "Y'all are flatter than y'all woman's ass!" - Tito, politely telling his brothers they sound out of tune.
- "Jermaine is right ... when you're doing a 'Jermaine Jackson' record. Right now you're doing a record with the Jacksons." - Marlon, after Jermaine claims they should be trying to sound like him.
CHANNEL SURFING
I guess "Ghost Whisperer" (CBS, Fri., 8:00) must be running out of storylines for Melinda. They already have a professor who can hear ghosts, and now we have Delia's son Ned who is majoring in occult sciences so that he can "sense" them. And when can we get back to the sappy and sentimental "GW"? It's too dark and twisted now.
Casting couch: That was Kadeem Hardison, aka Dwayne Wayne, from 90s sitcom "A Different World" playing the radio DJ in the flashback sequence. It's a different world indeed.
After these messages: If you squint hard enough, the lady in the Crestor commercials looks like Madam Secretary Hillary Clinton ... The previews for ABC's new dramedy "The Deep End" look like "Grey's Anatomy" with lawyers.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Watch this, tape that - Weekend
Let's embrace the first TV weekend of 2010 by watching some old favorites.
FRIDAY
8:00
Watch this: "Ghost Whisperer" (CBS). Grandview's radio station is being haunted by a ghost seeking revenge. Is there any other kind?
9:00
Watch this: "Medium" (CBS). A dead crime suspect contacts Allison to help redeem himself and to connect with his girlfriend.
SUNDAY
8:00
Watch this: "Celebration of Gospel" (BET). Get your praise on with this 10th anniversary showcase.
9:00
Watch this: "Desperate Housewives" (ABC). The network has been bragging that someone will die. They had better make good on that promise by killing off Orson and not some random Neighbor #2 character.
Tape that: "Cold Case" (CBS). The team reinvestigates the 2005 murder of an Army recruiter.
10:00
Watch this: "Brothers & Sisters" (ABC). I could kiss Kitty for putting a stop to Justin and Rebecca's wedding. Too bad she had to do it by nearly dropping dead during the ceremony.
Tape that: "The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty" (A&E). Yes, I'm still watching. The show would actually be funny if they dumped camera-whore Jermaine ... and I'm quite sure that's not the first time Tito, Marlon and Jackie have heard that.
FRIDAY
8:00
Watch this: "Ghost Whisperer" (CBS). Grandview's radio station is being haunted by a ghost seeking revenge. Is there any other kind?
9:00
Watch this: "Medium" (CBS). A dead crime suspect contacts Allison to help redeem himself and to connect with his girlfriend.
SUNDAY
8:00
Watch this: "Celebration of Gospel" (BET). Get your praise on with this 10th anniversary showcase.
9:00
Watch this: "Desperate Housewives" (ABC). The network has been bragging that someone will die. They had better make good on that promise by killing off Orson and not some random Neighbor #2 character.
Tape that: "Cold Case" (CBS). The team reinvestigates the 2005 murder of an Army recruiter.
10:00
Watch this: "Brothers & Sisters" (ABC). I could kiss Kitty for putting a stop to Justin and Rebecca's wedding. Too bad she had to do it by nearly dropping dead during the ceremony.
Tape that: "The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty" (A&E). Yes, I'm still watching. The show would actually be funny if they dumped camera-whore Jermaine ... and I'm quite sure that's not the first time Tito, Marlon and Jackie have heard that.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Watch this, tape that - Thursday
The night is a bust unless you're a sports fan.
Bowl game of the night: Citi BCS National Championship Game - Texas vs. Alabama (ABC, 8:00). I gotta root for the SEC. Roll Tide!
If you're not into the Cadillac college football games, you can catch repeats of "CSI" (CBS) from 8:00-10:00, or check out "Bones" on FOX at 8:00. But that's all I got for you.
Bowl game of the night: Citi BCS National Championship Game - Texas vs. Alabama (ABC, 8:00). I gotta root for the SEC. Roll Tide!
If you're not into the Cadillac college football games, you can catch repeats of "CSI" (CBS) from 8:00-10:00, or check out "Bones" on FOX at 8:00. But that's all I got for you.
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