If you're at home watching TV on New Year's Eve, come sit next to me! I'm actually going out tonight but if you're inclined to stay home and watch the festivities on TV here are your choices:
"Dick Clark's Primetime New Year's Rocking Eve" (ABC, 10:00): The usual fanfare from Times Square. Ryan Seacrest hosts.
"New Year's Eve with Carson Daly" (NBC, 10:00): Carson is only slightly more annoying than Ryan Seacrest. Choice is yours.
"New Year's Eve Star Showdown" (Disney, 8:00): For those of you who are letting the kids stay up late, get your fill of the Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez and other Disney stars.
"Notarized: Top 100 Videos of 2009" (BET, 8:00): BET gives a rundown of the best videos of the year. Requirements: Must be a fan of rap, R&B and loud talking. I'll drop in and out before I hit the town.
Not interested in New Year programming? Try "No One Would Tell" (LMN, 10:00). Candice Cameron-Bure ("Full House") and Fred Savage ("The Wonder Years") star in this 1996 tale of a high-school wrestler who abuses his girlfriend. Not the most cheerful way to ring in 2010, but still a good movie.
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Here's to good TV in 2010! Thanks for coming to the Watch Party!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Watch this, tape that - Wednesday
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY to my niece, Asiah Lynn! Aunt Resa loves you! (Orange is her favorite color!)
A good night for repeats. Here are some shows worth catching the second time around:
"Glee" (FOX, 8:00-10:00): A 2-hour block of some of the best episodes this season - "Vitamin D" and "Throwdown". The first hour is the one where the Glee Club goes boys vs. girls and must do a mash-up of songs. "Throwdown" is the episode that made me want to marry Sue Sylvester. "Santana! Wheels! Gay Kid! Asian! Other Asian! Aretha! Shaft!" You have to see it to appreciate that line.
"The Office" (NBC, 8:00-10:00): A mini marathon of some of the last episodes of the season.
"The Real World: DC" (MTV, 10:00): OK, it's not a repeat, but I'm sure it will feel like one. I'm only watching because it finally features a city that I care about and I can probably name some of the streets.
Oh! "The Truman Show" is on TNT at 10:00. It's one of my favorite movies. Who hasn't felt like their life was a TV show?
A good night for repeats. Here are some shows worth catching the second time around:
"Glee" (FOX, 8:00-10:00): A 2-hour block of some of the best episodes this season - "Vitamin D" and "Throwdown". The first hour is the one where the Glee Club goes boys vs. girls and must do a mash-up of songs. "Throwdown" is the episode that made me want to marry Sue Sylvester. "Santana! Wheels! Gay Kid! Asian! Other Asian! Aretha! Shaft!" You have to see it to appreciate that line.
"The Office" (NBC, 8:00-10:00): A mini marathon of some of the last episodes of the season.
"The Real World: DC" (MTV, 10:00): OK, it's not a repeat, but I'm sure it will feel like one. I'm only watching because it finally features a city that I care about and I can probably name some of the streets.
Oh! "The Truman Show" is on TNT at 10:00. It's one of my favorite movies. Who hasn't felt like their life was a TV show?
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Eat. Cry. Moan.
I did a whole lot of channel surfing during the 10:00 hour. Here are some observations:
I only watched the first hour of the "Kennedy Center Honors" (CBS, 9:00), but the parts I did see were really funny. It was cool watching Robert De Niro get props for his work, but even cooler to see the humble expression on his face as friends and colleagues talked about his contributions to cinema. Oh, and that band was really great. Can anybody tell me the name of that jazz song they played?
"Teen Mom" (MTV): I missed the first 15 minutes of the episode and when I tuned in, Catelynn's mom had announced they were moving to Richmond. I'm really annoyed with her mom because she seems like one of those women who always picks a loser boyfriend then goes along with everything he says. The fact that he's Tyler's (Catelynn's boyfriend) dad raises the ick factor. Catelynn is allowed to temporarily move in with Tyler and his mom and she lays down only one rule: no sleeping in the same room. Pause it: How about adding "no sex under my roof" as a rule? I'm just saying ... might as well make it plain. Catelynn says she just wants her mom to put the adoption behind her so they can move on, but how can mom do that when Cate and Ty have big ol' baby tattoos on their shoulder and stomach? Mom will move on when you do, guys.
I must have missed a big chunk of Farrah's story too because when she came on she was talking about going to culinary school. Where did that come from? I saw a glimmer of hope when she went to the doctor to get birth control pills, but her idiocy reigned supreme when she hid them from her parents by putting them in the refrigerator. After her dad finds it, he questions why she would be putting herself in situations where she would need birth control. "We got a beautiful gift from a mistake," he says. But Farrah isn't hearing it and she later leaves Sophia with her mom while she goes out to party. Pause it: It's quite obvious Farrah's parents can't get the top off their can of "Whoop-Ass". *Sliding mom a bottle opener*
Last week, I was really proud of Maci for dumping Ryan, but tonight she took a step backward by getting back together with him. She says she misses having him around whenever baby Bentley gets fussy, but I can't seem to recall a time when Ryan was around for the baby being fussy, calm, sleeping, eating, etc. Pause it: Does anyone else think that Ryan looks like a thinner version of Levi Johnston? I have a feeling that Maci will be regretting her decision in the near future.
Amber and Gary are still going at it. Amber is struggling to keep up in her G.E.D. classes while he somehow manages to find time to get out of the house for "a little break." When Amber comes in complaining about how filthy their house is, Gary replies, "All you do is go to school for six hours a week and watch the baby." Pause it: Everybody take cover from the s*%t that's about to hit the fan. Amber tells Gary that she doesn't want to be with him anymore and decides to move into a hotel room for the week. After she's packed up the car and is ready to drive off, that's when he has a change of heart. That sound you hear is Amber's tires squealing as she drives off, leaving him crying like the big-ass baby that he is. Amber is over Gary and I am too.
"Tabatha's Salon Takeover" (Bravo): Fab Tab breezed into the Windy City to tackle Chicago Male, a three-year-old, gay salon that only services men. The owner, Scott, is a businessman, but has never owned or operated a hair salon and can't understand why the place is only running at 25%. Pause it: That's because the other 75% of your could-be clients have vaginas. The unprofessional staff stood around all day eating, texting and talking sexually to clients.
Scott wanted to create something that was just for men in one of the largest gay communities in the country, but his 30-minute business model was dragging down the quality of service. I can't even wash my hair in 30 minutes, let alone give someone a proper haircut. After Tabatha announces there would be changes at the salon, she says, "The staff all stared at me like gay deer in headlights."
The stylists are all taken to Paul Mitchell to get a crash course in women's hair, but I'll tell you this: I will not be getting a haircut by someone who basically got the G.E.D. of women's hairstyling. Of course all of Tab's suggestions are implemented and Chicago Male opens it's doors to the female kind. They could always change the name to Chicago She-Male and only take drag queens. At least they could've stayed true to Scott's all-male clientele rule. It's all in the details.
CHANNEL SURFING
MTV's new show "The Buried Life" is just "The Bucket List" for young people ... I sat through bits and pieces of "Mo'Nique" because the former cast of "The Game" was on it. I love that show, and I'm still cursing CW for getting rid of one of the funniest, most entertaining, black sitcoms ever to air. At least BET was nice enough to pick it up.
I only watched the first hour of the "Kennedy Center Honors" (CBS, 9:00), but the parts I did see were really funny. It was cool watching Robert De Niro get props for his work, but even cooler to see the humble expression on his face as friends and colleagues talked about his contributions to cinema. Oh, and that band was really great. Can anybody tell me the name of that jazz song they played?
"Teen Mom" (MTV): I missed the first 15 minutes of the episode and when I tuned in, Catelynn's mom had announced they were moving to Richmond. I'm really annoyed with her mom because she seems like one of those women who always picks a loser boyfriend then goes along with everything he says. The fact that he's Tyler's (Catelynn's boyfriend) dad raises the ick factor. Catelynn is allowed to temporarily move in with Tyler and his mom and she lays down only one rule: no sleeping in the same room. Pause it: How about adding "no sex under my roof" as a rule? I'm just saying ... might as well make it plain. Catelynn says she just wants her mom to put the adoption behind her so they can move on, but how can mom do that when Cate and Ty have big ol' baby tattoos on their shoulder and stomach? Mom will move on when you do, guys.
I must have missed a big chunk of Farrah's story too because when she came on she was talking about going to culinary school. Where did that come from? I saw a glimmer of hope when she went to the doctor to get birth control pills, but her idiocy reigned supreme when she hid them from her parents by putting them in the refrigerator. After her dad finds it, he questions why she would be putting herself in situations where she would need birth control. "We got a beautiful gift from a mistake," he says. But Farrah isn't hearing it and she later leaves Sophia with her mom while she goes out to party. Pause it: It's quite obvious Farrah's parents can't get the top off their can of "Whoop-Ass". *Sliding mom a bottle opener*
Last week, I was really proud of Maci for dumping Ryan, but tonight she took a step backward by getting back together with him. She says she misses having him around whenever baby Bentley gets fussy, but I can't seem to recall a time when Ryan was around for the baby being fussy, calm, sleeping, eating, etc. Pause it: Does anyone else think that Ryan looks like a thinner version of Levi Johnston? I have a feeling that Maci will be regretting her decision in the near future.
Amber and Gary are still going at it. Amber is struggling to keep up in her G.E.D. classes while he somehow manages to find time to get out of the house for "a little break." When Amber comes in complaining about how filthy their house is, Gary replies, "All you do is go to school for six hours a week and watch the baby." Pause it: Everybody take cover from the s*%t that's about to hit the fan. Amber tells Gary that she doesn't want to be with him anymore and decides to move into a hotel room for the week. After she's packed up the car and is ready to drive off, that's when he has a change of heart. That sound you hear is Amber's tires squealing as she drives off, leaving him crying like the big-ass baby that he is. Amber is over Gary and I am too.
"Tabatha's Salon Takeover" (Bravo): Fab Tab breezed into the Windy City to tackle Chicago Male, a three-year-old, gay salon that only services men. The owner, Scott, is a businessman, but has never owned or operated a hair salon and can't understand why the place is only running at 25%. Pause it: That's because the other 75% of your could-be clients have vaginas. The unprofessional staff stood around all day eating, texting and talking sexually to clients.
Scott wanted to create something that was just for men in one of the largest gay communities in the country, but his 30-minute business model was dragging down the quality of service. I can't even wash my hair in 30 minutes, let alone give someone a proper haircut. After Tabatha announces there would be changes at the salon, she says, "The staff all stared at me like gay deer in headlights."
The stylists are all taken to Paul Mitchell to get a crash course in women's hair, but I'll tell you this: I will not be getting a haircut by someone who basically got the G.E.D. of women's hairstyling. Of course all of Tab's suggestions are implemented and Chicago Male opens it's doors to the female kind. They could always change the name to Chicago She-Male and only take drag queens. At least they could've stayed true to Scott's all-male clientele rule. It's all in the details.
CHANNEL SURFING
MTV's new show "The Buried Life" is just "The Bucket List" for young people ... I sat through bits and pieces of "Mo'Nique" because the former cast of "The Game" was on it. I love that show, and I'm still cursing CW for getting rid of one of the funniest, most entertaining, black sitcoms ever to air. At least BET was nice enough to pick it up.
Watch this, tape that - Tuesday
Surprise, surprise! There's real TV on tonight! Hallelujah! I'm not going to tell you what to watch or tape, but here's what's on:
"Kennedy Center Honors" (CBS, 9:00): I won't be watching this, but a buddy of mine said it's one of the most entertaining shows of the year. And here I was thinking it was "Glee". Appearances by Meryl Streep, Martin Scorsese, Sting, Matthew Broderick, Aretha Franklin and Jon Stewart.
"Kennedy Center Honors" (CBS, 9:00): I won't be watching this, but a buddy of mine said it's one of the most entertaining shows of the year. And here I was thinking it was "Glee". Appearances by Meryl Streep, Martin Scorsese, Sting, Matthew Broderick, Aretha Franklin and Jon Stewart.
"20/20: Blind Side: The 
True Story Behind the Movie" (ABC, 10:00): The fact that I've seen this movie 3 times should tell you where I'll be at 10 p.m. If you haven't already seen "The Blind Side", then you should put that on your list of things to do today. It truly is one of the most heartwarming movies I have ever seen (and this is coming from someone who is typically not a fan of Sandra Bullock). Check out the family that inspired her Golden Globe nominated role.
True Story Behind the Movie" (ABC, 10:00): The fact that I've seen this movie 3 times should tell you where I'll be at 10 p.m. If you haven't already seen "The Blind Side", then you should put that on your list of things to do today. It truly is one of the most heartwarming movies I have ever seen (and this is coming from someone who is typically not a fan of Sandra Bullock). Check out the family that inspired her Golden Globe nominated role."Tabatha's Salon Takeover" (Bravo, 10:00): The saucy Aussie is back and taking over a sinking Chicago salon.
"Teen Mom" (MTV, 10:00): Amber finally reaches her breaking point and tries to move out. The only thing standing in her way is baby Leah. Oh, the woes of being a teen-aged mother.
"One Big Happy Family" (TLC, 9:00): Think "The Biggest Loser" condensed version. Take note "Loser": This show is only 30 minutes ... get in and get out!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Where's the filth?
I thought it was going to be a blog-free week, but there were some interesting tidbits tonight. Take a look-see:
"Hoarders" (A&E, 10:00): I don't know why I get so excited when I see Washington state residents on this show. The production company, Screaming Flea Productions, is based out of Seattle, so it's not a stretch to see local people on here but it still excites me! Tonight's episode featured 39-year-old Shannon from Spanaway. Pause it: Shout out to Pierce County! What up y'all!
Because of the condition of her home, Shannon is on the verge of losing her four children to Child Protective Services. Her son moved into a shed in the backyard and lived there for two years before moving in with his grandmother. Husband Tim works 75 hours a week to avoid coming home so you know the house is in bad shape. To top it all off, they have 17 cats and 5 dogs ... and that's minus the 22 cats that had been removed from the house the week before. Ummm, how do I put this mildly? That's freakin' nasty, dude.
Just as the crew was getting ready to start filming, CPS shows up "unannounced," but the exchange just "happens" to be caught on video tape. Shannon's sister thought CPS was coming with an ultimatum - clean up or else - but what they got was served with papers to have the kids removed from the home. Shannon is angry and wants to know who reported her. Pause it: Shan, honey, it would behoove you to look over at that camera crew that's filming from across the street. I wouldn't put it past the network to put in a call just to get a little added drama for the show.
I'm wondering where A&E is taking this show. The first season spent at least 30 minutes showing us just how filthy these houses are. In tonight's episode, they spent 90% of the show discussing the mental aspect. That's all fine and good because I know that hoarding is a legitimate disease or whatever, but I tune in for the gross-out factor and I want more filth!
Some housekeeping items: It's hard to take that psychiatrist/hoarding expert seriously when she looks like a more glamorous version of Tonya Harding ... The other half of the show focused a mother from Arizona. After cleaning her house she has an epiphany: "I don't need a maid, I need a psychiatrist." Gee, ya think?
CHANNEL SURFING
"Hoarders" (A&E, 10:00): I don't know why I get so excited when I see Washington state residents on this show. The production company, Screaming Flea Productions, is based out of Seattle, so it's not a stretch to see local people on here but it still excites me! Tonight's episode featured 39-year-old Shannon from Spanaway. Pause it: Shout out to Pierce County! What up y'all!
Because of the condition of her home, Shannon is on the verge of losing her four children to Child Protective Services. Her son moved into a shed in the backyard and lived there for two years before moving in with his grandmother. Husband Tim works 75 hours a week to avoid coming home so you know the house is in bad shape. To top it all off, they have 17 cats and 5 dogs ... and that's minus the 22 cats that had been removed from the house the week before. Ummm, how do I put this mildly? That's freakin' nasty, dude.
Just as the crew was getting ready to start filming, CPS shows up "unannounced," but the exchange just "happens" to be caught on video tape. Shannon's sister thought CPS was coming with an ultimatum - clean up or else - but what they got was served with papers to have the kids removed from the home. Shannon is angry and wants to know who reported her. Pause it: Shan, honey, it would behoove you to look over at that camera crew that's filming from across the street. I wouldn't put it past the network to put in a call just to get a little added drama for the show.
I'm wondering where A&E is taking this show. The first season spent at least 30 minutes showing us just how filthy these houses are. In tonight's episode, they spent 90% of the show discussing the mental aspect. That's all fine and good because I know that hoarding is a legitimate disease or whatever, but I tune in for the gross-out factor and I want more filth!
Some housekeeping items: It's hard to take that psychiatrist/hoarding expert seriously when she looks like a more glamorous version of Tonya Harding ... The other half of the show focused a mother from Arizona. After cleaning her house she has an epiphany: "I don't need a maid, I need a psychiatrist." Gee, ya think?
CHANNEL SURFING
- I'm having a hard time writing about "Men of a Certain Age" (TNT, 10:00). It's a really good show and I enjoy watching it, but the pace is kind of lazy and the comedy is a little subdued. Maybe I need to be a certain age to understand. Don't give up on it. It's a show worth watching.
- We finally made it to the final two on "I Want to Work for Diddy" (VH1, 10:00). Miss Ivory got the boot, leaving wine steward Daniel and lady football player Ebony to duke it out for the coveted assistant position. Finale airs next Monday.
Worth a second look
I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday season. While all of you are gathered around your Christmas trees and ringing in the new year, I'm pulling my hair out by the lack of things to watch on TV. But this week there are some reruns that are worth watching again. Here are my Monday pickings:
"Lie to Me" (FOX, 9:00): A football star is accused of statutory rap, and the Lightman Group is called in to see if he's telling the truth or not.
Catch a fresh helping of "Hoarders" (A&E, 10:00): A woman who lost custody of her son because of her hoarding. Or try flipping over to "Men of a Certain Age" (TNT, 10:00). The Thoreaus end up socializing with Joe's ex wife at a school event. I like this show. You should too.
"Lie to Me" (FOX, 9:00): A football star is accused of statutory rap, and the Lightman Group is called in to see if he's telling the truth or not.
Catch a fresh helping of "Hoarders" (A&E, 10:00): A woman who lost custody of her son because of her hoarding. Or try flipping over to "Men of a Certain Age" (TNT, 10:00). The Thoreaus end up socializing with Joe's ex wife at a school event. I like this show. You should too.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Last word
Since nothing is on TV besides Christmas movies and holiday specials, this will be my last blog for the week. I may drop in from time to time in the next few days, but only to remind you of a good repeat or some New Year specials. Merry Christmas! Your present is a big ol' helping of ...
"Teen Mom" (MTV, Tues., 10:00): I wanted to spend this posting talking about Maci (with son, Bentley) and how responsible she's trying to be, but I feel and Farrah rant coming on.
These two girls are like night and day. Maci is still trying to make a life for herself. She dropped her loser boyfriend Ryan when he showed no interest in being a dad. She signed up for online classes because she didn't want to leave Bentley with a sitter. And she realizes how much she's given up to be a mom. Farrah on the other hand hasn't given up anything, farming out her parenting duties to her mom while she chases down loser after loser boy toys. When Pick of the Week Shaq ditches her to hang out with his friends, she pulls the same stunt she pulled with Cole, only this time she didn't have to drive two hours to confront him. He politely tells her he's only 18 and not in the business of being a baby daddy to a baby that ain't his. Farrah is angry that he "wasted her time," but I'm pissed that she wasted mine. Pause it: You can tell how much time Farrah spends with baby Sophia. She was trying to feed that poor little thing a big honkin' piece of bread, and not the soft little bread slices ... I'm talking a whole chunk of baguette! That baby is 8 months, not 8 years. Jesus couldn't even break that bread! While Maci is striving to be like her college-bound friends, Farrah's only aspiration is to work at an upscale restaurant. Way to dream big, Cupcake!
It's been four months since Catelynn and Tyler gave their daughter Carly up for adoption, but Tyler's dad keeps ripping off the Band-Aid every chance he gets. Rewind: Honestly, I think Catelynn and Tyler are ripping off their own bandages by trying to keep up with the baby's new life. If that were me, I would need more time to get used to the baby being gone before I would want to see pictures of her living a life with someone else. But that's just me. Daddy Butch, fresh off a prison stint, has the nerve to question their decision to give up their daughter even though he's missed a huge part of his son's life by being locked up. Butch says he'd live in a truck with the baby if he had to. LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH YOU DOUGHNUT HOLE! Babies are expensive! Like I said before, I admire Catelynn and Tyler for making a mature and selfless decision, however, it is time for them to realize that they are not parents. Giving birth may make them a mom and dad, but looking at pictures and reading e-mails does not make them parents. The parents are the people who took the time to document Carly's growth then e-mailed to tell them about it. That's a parent ... and apparent.
Amber has been racing to a breakdown for weeks now and she almost made it to the finish line tonight. Her car breaks down, forcing her to miss her GED classes and 'fiance' Gary won't let her borrow his car. After the car stalls when she's out with the baby, Gary won't answer his phone and her friend has to drop her off at her dad's apartment. Gary shows up 4 hours later asking, "Why didn't you call me?" then follows up with he was resting in bed and taking a shower. Amber's dad steps in and all hell breaks loose. Gary insults dad and Amber, with all of her built-up, post-pregnancy anger, takes Gary's face and gives it a good shove into the door! Pause it: Waiting for the standing ovation to subside. Gary has to be the most useless piece of man to grace MTV, and that's saying a lot for a network that gave us Spencer Pratt. The two later make up and Amber says she doesn't want to be with someone who isn't going to be there for her. I don't blame you, honey! Next time Gary feels the need to 'take a nap', he'd better sleep with one eye open.
Some funny observations:
"Teen Mom" (MTV, Tues., 10:00): I wanted to spend this posting talking about Maci (with son, Bentley) and how responsible she's trying to be, but I feel and Farrah rant coming on.These two girls are like night and day. Maci is still trying to make a life for herself. She dropped her loser boyfriend Ryan when he showed no interest in being a dad. She signed up for online classes because she didn't want to leave Bentley with a sitter. And she realizes how much she's given up to be a mom. Farrah on the other hand hasn't given up anything, farming out her parenting duties to her mom while she chases down loser after loser boy toys. When Pick of the Week Shaq ditches her to hang out with his friends, she pulls the same stunt she pulled with Cole, only this time she didn't have to drive two hours to confront him. He politely tells her he's only 18 and not in the business of being a baby daddy to a baby that ain't his. Farrah is angry that he "wasted her time," but I'm pissed that she wasted mine. Pause it: You can tell how much time Farrah spends with baby Sophia. She was trying to feed that poor little thing a big honkin' piece of bread, and not the soft little bread slices ... I'm talking a whole chunk of baguette! That baby is 8 months, not 8 years. Jesus couldn't even break that bread! While Maci is striving to be like her college-bound friends, Farrah's only aspiration is to work at an upscale restaurant. Way to dream big, Cupcake!
It's been four months since Catelynn and Tyler gave their daughter Carly up for adoption, but Tyler's dad keeps ripping off the Band-Aid every chance he gets. Rewind: Honestly, I think Catelynn and Tyler are ripping off their own bandages by trying to keep up with the baby's new life. If that were me, I would need more time to get used to the baby being gone before I would want to see pictures of her living a life with someone else. But that's just me. Daddy Butch, fresh off a prison stint, has the nerve to question their decision to give up their daughter even though he's missed a huge part of his son's life by being locked up. Butch says he'd live in a truck with the baby if he had to. LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH YOU DOUGHNUT HOLE! Babies are expensive! Like I said before, I admire Catelynn and Tyler for making a mature and selfless decision, however, it is time for them to realize that they are not parents. Giving birth may make them a mom and dad, but looking at pictures and reading e-mails does not make them parents. The parents are the people who took the time to document Carly's growth then e-mailed to tell them about it. That's a parent ... and apparent.
Amber has been racing to a breakdown for weeks now and she almost made it to the finish line tonight. Her car breaks down, forcing her to miss her GED classes and 'fiance' Gary won't let her borrow his car. After the car stalls when she's out with the baby, Gary won't answer his phone and her friend has to drop her off at her dad's apartment. Gary shows up 4 hours later asking, "Why didn't you call me?" then follows up with he was resting in bed and taking a shower. Amber's dad steps in and all hell breaks loose. Gary insults dad and Amber, with all of her built-up, post-pregnancy anger, takes Gary's face and gives it a good shove into the door! Pause it: Waiting for the standing ovation to subside. Gary has to be the most useless piece of man to grace MTV, and that's saying a lot for a network that gave us Spencer Pratt. The two later make up and Amber says she doesn't want to be with someone who isn't going to be there for her. I don't blame you, honey! Next time Gary feels the need to 'take a nap', he'd better sleep with one eye open.
Some funny observations:
- After Farrah confronts Shaq, she thanks him for 'the talk' they had. That's what you call a talk? If a guy ditches me then I find out he's kickin' it at a friend's house, you best believe there will be some finger waggin', lip smackin' and neck rollin'. That's not how we roll at the Watch Party!
- Amber, Amber, Amber. Please stop wearing those short little dresses where I can see your uterus hanging out. And for that baby's sake, lose the "Jersey Shore" fingernails and get a regular manicure. It's a wonder little Leah has any eyeballs.
- Ryan tells Maci they should forget everything and just start over. YOU WISH, BUDDY! He's the one who was out all night partying and leaving Maci to do all the parenting. I'd want her to forget that little detail too.
- One last jab at Farrah: She was upset about being dumped because she had a baby. Honey, you were dumped because a baby is a big ol' c*#!blocker. Gotta call 'em like I see 'em.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Comments?
A lot of people (OK, 3) have said they have trouble leaving comments. I don't know what the issue is, but if you hit the button more than once your comment will post. Be persistent! Don't let it take you down! I could lie and say I'm trying to get the issue resolved, but it's a free site. What can you do?
If you really want to chat, inbox me at tvwatchparty@gmail.com!
If you really want to chat, inbox me at tvwatchparty@gmail.com!
Did that really just happen?
I learned the hard way how not to spoil "Survivor" finale night. It's a masterful dance of avoiding all social networking sites, no Internet surfing and definitely no TVs allowed on the CBS station at work. I even handed off my last page to another designer so as not to find out the winner. (Thanks, Mary!) And I made it. I managed to get through the whole night without any spoilers so that I could watch Evil Russell be crowned the winner of "Survivor: Samoa"! He's got this in the bag right? WRONG!!!
Wrong, wrong, wrong!!!! I sat through 2 hours to watch the jury hand the million dollar prize to ... Natalie? Huh? What? You've got to be freaking kidding me! Natalie White, the coat-tail rider from Van Buren, Arkansas, walked away with the title and Russell was left visibly pissed. Pause it: I wasn't a Natalie fan, but shout out to my home state of Arkansas! What up, E-Town! (That's England, to those of us in the know). Now that that's out of the way, let me go back and see where this show went off the rails.
Wrong, wrong, wrong!!!! I sat through 2 hours to watch the jury hand the million dollar prize to ... Natalie? Huh? What? You've got to be freaking kidding me! Natalie White, the coat-tail rider from Van Buren, Arkansas, walked away with the title and Russell was left visibly pissed. Pause it: I wasn't a Natalie fan, but shout out to my home state of Arkansas! What up, E-Town! (That's England, to those of us in the know). Now that that's out of the way, let me go back and see where this show went off the rails.After 37 days, Russell was still as focused as he was on Day 1. He came to Samoa with one goal and one goal only: to win the game of "Survivor". Galu had entered the merge at an 8-4 advantage and one-by-one, Foa Foa picked off each member. Natalie made her only power move of the game by getting Galu to vote off one of their own first. *Your seat's this way, Erik*. In blindside after blindside, he was followed by Kelly, Laura, John, Monica, Dave and Shambo. Brett, the last pesky little sucker from Galu, proved harder to kill, winning three immunity challenges in a row. Foa was finally forced to turn on one of their own and Jaison went down in flames. Pause it: No love lost on that one. He'd shut down on Day 3 anyway. At the last immunity challenge, it was Russell and Brett in a game of balance and concentration ... kinda like stacking plates on a stick, except it was a little statue. After finding three hidden immunity idols, Russell finally manages to win one, sending Brett to join the rest of his tribe on the jury. It's down to Mick, Natalie and Russell for the million.
When it came time to address the jury, Mick went the route of Amanda Kimmel ("Survivor: China/Micronesia), giving the jury his puppy-dog eyes and sob story about playing the game with morals. Bad move, buddy. The jury hates long faces. Natalie played the "I-may-have-rode-his-coattails-but ..." card. She went on and on about not wanting to be a "strong woman" player because they got voted off quickly. So basically you want to win the game for being weak? Russ came out with his gun locked and loaded and was not apologizing for it. He let everybody know why they were sitting on the jury and how he was the mastermind behind each and every vote. "Survivor" juries usually fall for the make-no-apologies statements, but the Samoa cast came to the feasting table with a bag of chips, most likely from their shoulders.
Going into the last 15 minutes, I really thought Russell had won the game. He played Survivor like it was a game of chess and even had the nerve to "coach" Mick and Natalie on how to answer the jury questions. Russell, you are crazy like a fox and I love it! This is the same guy that I absolutely LOATHED that the start of the season. Cut to me leading a one woman hotness parade through my apartment, cheering him on while he gave his speech.
The questions from the jury were all routine and I'm thinking, "Just hand Russ the check already!" Then here comes Erik. I think he is the sole reason why Natalie won, with his "perception is not reality" tirade. But for a quick second, he had me sold on his reasoning. Why reward the person who played the better game just because he was evil and entertaining. Why not give the prize to someone who played a dull game, but a nice game? Erik basically said that being on a game show doesn't excuse you from being a kind person. That's all fine and good, but this is "SURVIVOR"! I watch this show because people do and say things that they couldn't get away with in their real lives. There are a couple of coworkers and Facebook friends that I would love to vote off my island, but I live vicariously through Russell as he cuts people off at the knees then hides their canes so they can't walk. Sad, I know. But thoroughly entertaining.
When Jeff Probst called Natalie's name as the winner, poor Russell looked like his dog had died in Hurricane Katrina (karma?) I don't think there has ever been a contestant who wanted to win the game as badly as he did, going so far as to offer Natalie $10,000 for the "title" of "Survivor". At least he won the $100,000 prize for Player of the Season. Even though I was extremely disappointed with the outcome, I have to admit this was a very interesting piece of social commentary. Why do we reward people who gain success through lying, cheating and stealing (I'm looking at you, banking industry)? Did Russell really go too far or was the jury just full of bitter Bettys?
Season 20 premiers Feb. 11 and I think it may answer all of my questions. It's villans vs. heroes - the most vile, ruthless players vs. the 3 or 4 people who won the game by being nice. Instead of "Outwit, Outlast, Outplay" it's "Return, Revenge, Redemption". I have a feeling that Russell will be the last 'R' on that logo.
One last thing that's nagging at me: Laura is a GRANDMOTHER! At age 39! Wow! I mean, WOW! Is 39 the new 50? I'm just asking.
Watch Party at my place! See you on the 11th!
Friday, December 18, 2009
News Break - Divorce Edition
It's the day in divorce around Hollywood. I guess some of these couples would consider this a Christmas present.
Beyonce's parents, Tina and Matthew Knowles, are calling it quits after 30+ years of marriage. “The decision to end our marriage is an amicable one. We remain friends, parents, and business partners,” the couple said in a statement to The Associated Press. “If anyone is expecting an ugly messy fight, they will be sadly disappointed. We ask for your respect of our privacy as we handle this matter.”
And finally, squinty-eyed Leann Rimes's hubby, "I'm Not Gay" Dean Sheremet officially filed for divorce in Los Angeles citing “irreconcilable differences”. That's just a fancy term for "My wife was in a TV movie and fell for her co-star then they started hooking up". The couple, who married in 2002, announced their split back in September. Luckily, they have no children together.
Jon and Kate (of "Plus 8" fame) have officially ended their 10 year marriage, after making us suffer through countless fake-tear interviews and tabloid magazine covers. Kate gets the house and kids. Jon gets to foot the bill. Too bad he squashed their cash-cow show on TLC. How are you going to pay child support for eight kids when you can't make any public appearances. Sucks to be you, buddy.
For anyone interested in dating Jon, the line forms to the left.
Beyonce's parents, Tina and Matthew Knowles, are calling it quits after 30+ years of marriage. “The decision to end our marriage is an amicable one. We remain friends, parents, and business partners,” the couple said in a statement to The Associated Press. “If anyone is expecting an ugly messy fight, they will be sadly disappointed. We ask for your respect of our privacy as we handle this matter.”Those paternity lawsuits get 'em every time. Try wrapping it up next time, Pops. Saves you from having to "Put a Ring On It".
And finally, squinty-eyed Leann Rimes's hubby, "I'm Not Gay" Dean Sheremet officially filed for divorce in Los Angeles citing “irreconcilable differences”. That's just a fancy term for "My wife was in a TV movie and fell for her co-star then they started hooking up". The couple, who married in 2002, announced their split back in September. Luckily, they have no children together. Rimes has been linked with Eddie Cibrian ("CSI: Miami") for months. He filed for divorce from his wife of eight years in August.
Watch this, tape that - Weekend
Here's what's on for the weekend:
Holiday specials
FRIDAY
"Frosty the Snowman" (CBS, 8:00).
"Frosty Returns" (CBS, 8:30).
"Christmas Unwrapped: The History of Christmas" (History, 8:00). Tracing the origin of Christmas.
SATURDAY
"The Santa Clause 2" (ABC, 8:00).
"Elf" (CBS, 8:00).
"Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa" (NBC, 8:00).
SUNDAY
"The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause" (ABC, 8:00).
Looks like an easy weekend. Enjoy the last bits of 2009.
SUNDAY
8:00
Watch this: "Survivor: Samoa" (CBS). We made it to the end, now comes the fun part. The finalists are drilled by the jury. Stick around for the reunion airing at 10:00.
10:00
Tape that: "The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty" (A&E). Jermaine continues to milk the spotlight for all it's worth.
Holiday specials
FRIDAY
"Frosty the Snowman" (CBS, 8:00).
"Frosty Returns" (CBS, 8:30).
"Christmas Unwrapped: The History of Christmas" (History, 8:00). Tracing the origin of Christmas.
SATURDAY
"The Santa Clause 2" (ABC, 8:00).
"Elf" (CBS, 8:00).
"Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa" (NBC, 8:00).
SUNDAY
"The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause" (ABC, 8:00).
Looks like an easy weekend. Enjoy the last bits of 2009.
SUNDAY
8:00
Watch this: "Survivor: Samoa" (CBS). We made it to the end, now comes the fun part. The finalists are drilled by the jury. Stick around for the reunion airing at 10:00.
10:00
Tape that: "The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty" (A&E). Jermaine continues to milk the spotlight for all it's worth.
Business in the front, scheming in the back
I would've posted sooner, but I got caught up watching Natalie Portman in "Where the Heart Is" on CMT. It's the movie where she gives birth to the baby in Wal-Mart ... and the one she'd probably remove from her resume if given the chance. Here's what went down on ...
"Survivo
r" (CBS, 8:00): Brett is the last standing member of Galu ... wait. I forgot that Shambo was once a member of that tribe, but she jumped ship a long time ago. I can't recall any player in recent "Survivor" history who was so blatant in their disloyalty to their original tribe. The Renton renegade went rogue as soon as she got the chance to spend time with Foa Foa. Sending Shambo to their camp is ultimately what led to the Galu sitting on the jury.
Back at the Aiga beach, Natalie and Brett are bonding over the good book and after 34 days, realize they have more in common than religion and body odor. So at the reward challenge, Natalie chooses Brett and Mick to play on her team, raising suspicion with Shambo, Jaison and Russell that they may have an alliance in the works. The challenge itself looked really cool and it was something that "Survivor" has never done before. I'm always amazed at the puzzles the crew comes up with. *Sending resume, completed Sudoku book to CBS.* The teams were playing for a feast and a good night's sleep away from camp. It looked like Nat's team was going to pray in a win, but Russell, Sham and Jaison managed to eek out a victory. It was Jaison's first time to win a reward ('bout time!), and once he was full of roasted pig he says, "I have been fortified by the power of food, now I'm about to get jiggy with it."
The immunity challenge was a game of memory and numbers as the survivors had to count various items, each amount giving them a number to open a combination lock. Brett, being the stealth competitor that he is, comes from behind to win back-to-back immunity challenges and foiling Foa's plan to get rid of him. Mick's name gets thrown into the mix along with Shambo's. Now the question is do they vote off one of their own or betray Sham, the Galu who got them to the comfortable place they are now. Cut to Shambo's torch getting snuffed. Turns out, it wasn't such a hard question after all.
Rewind: Shambo's hair was front, center and party in the back in this episode. After she makes a comment about needing a haircut, Russell goes on a two-minute rant about her femullet. "She can store food in it." Later at the reward challenge, Jeff Probst doesn't miss his opportunity to get in some jabs. "How long have you had that hair?" Sham says she's had it since 1986. I was in like, the 3rd grade. Lose the mullet, Shambo! Somewhere in the forest, a raccoon is shivering.
CHANNEL SURFING
"CSI:" (CBS, 9:00): Everything I need to know I learned from Nick Stokes. Useless fact: A "John Wayne shot" is when a guy takes a shot to the shoulder then shakes it off "like it's a mosquito bite". I can do that.
"Survivo
r" (CBS, 8:00): Brett is the last standing member of Galu ... wait. I forgot that Shambo was once a member of that tribe, but she jumped ship a long time ago. I can't recall any player in recent "Survivor" history who was so blatant in their disloyalty to their original tribe. The Renton renegade went rogue as soon as she got the chance to spend time with Foa Foa. Sending Shambo to their camp is ultimately what led to the Galu sitting on the jury.Back at the Aiga beach, Natalie and Brett are bonding over the good book and after 34 days, realize they have more in common than religion and body odor. So at the reward challenge, Natalie chooses Brett and Mick to play on her team, raising suspicion with Shambo, Jaison and Russell that they may have an alliance in the works. The challenge itself looked really cool and it was something that "Survivor" has never done before. I'm always amazed at the puzzles the crew comes up with. *Sending resume, completed Sudoku book to CBS.* The teams were playing for a feast and a good night's sleep away from camp. It looked like Nat's team was going to pray in a win, but Russell, Sham and Jaison managed to eek out a victory. It was Jaison's first time to win a reward ('bout time!), and once he was full of roasted pig he says, "I have been fortified by the power of food, now I'm about to get jiggy with it."
The immunity challenge was a game of memory and numbers as the survivors had to count various items, each amount giving them a number to open a combination lock. Brett, being the stealth competitor that he is, comes from behind to win back-to-back immunity challenges and foiling Foa's plan to get rid of him. Mick's name gets thrown into the mix along with Shambo's. Now the question is do they vote off one of their own or betray Sham, the Galu who got them to the comfortable place they are now. Cut to Shambo's torch getting snuffed. Turns out, it wasn't such a hard question after all.
Rewind: Shambo's hair was front, center and party in the back in this episode. After she makes a comment about needing a haircut, Russell goes on a two-minute rant about her femullet. "She can store food in it." Later at the reward challenge, Jeff Probst doesn't miss his opportunity to get in some jabs. "How long have you had that hair?" Sham says she's had it since 1986. I was in like, the 3rd grade. Lose the mullet, Shambo! Somewhere in the forest, a raccoon is shivering.
CHANNEL SURFING
"CSI:" (CBS, 9:00): Everything I need to know I learned from Nick Stokes. Useless fact: A "John Wayne shot" is when a guy takes a shot to the shoulder then shakes it off "like it's a mosquito bite". I can do that.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Watch this, tape that - Thursday
I'm so behind on "Flash Forward" I'm not even sure it's worth catching up on. But now would be the time. Mostly repeats of your favorites tonight.
Holiday specials
"Saturday Night Live Christmas 2009" (NBC, 8:00).
8:00
Watch this: "Survivor" (CBS). Russell has made it this far. Can he go all the way? Only one more episode left!
9:00
Watch this: "CSI:" (CBS). A shootout at a gun store? Hope the shooter was quick on the draw.
10:00
Go to bed early tonight ... unless you're a fan of "The Mentalist" (CBS).
Holiday specials
"Saturday Night Live Christmas 2009" (NBC, 8:00).
8:00
Watch this: "Survivor" (CBS). Russell has made it this far. Can he go all the way? Only one more episode left!
9:00
Watch this: "CSI:" (CBS). A shootout at a gun store? Hope the shooter was quick on the draw.
10:00
Go to bed early tonight ... unless you're a fan of "The Mentalist" (CBS).
"This is not just about football"
SPOILER ALERT!! I'm watching "Friday Night Lights" on Direct TVs 101 network so if you're waiting until NBC airs the episodes in 2010, read no further!
So Matt Sarac
en is gone. Really gone. I mean, I knew that last week, but watching Julie nurse a broken heart made mine break too. For three years we've watched her and Matt fall in love so I feel shortchanged that they didn't give the relationship some sort of closure. I know it happens like that in real life sometimes but this is TV. I wanted my happy ending. Pause it: Chin up, Jules. Been there, done that, went to therapy about it then claimed the visits on my taxes.
To help herself out of the break-up slump, Julie signs up for every extracurricular activity she can find, including the beautifully named Academic Smackdown, a Quiz Bowl-like school competition that she also sucks Landry into. "Do you realize the irony behind the term 'academic smackdown?'" he quips. Julie ends up breaking down after finding out that Matt has been in contact with his family but hasn't bothered to call her. Where do you think Matt took off to? Chicago to give art school another try? I hope it's somewhere close so he can come home and visit us. The only thing that could drive this story home is if Julie finds herself in the family way and Matt is forced to come back to take care of the baby.
Elsewhere around the town, Coach Taylor picks Vince to be quarterback for the East Dillon Lions. I am loving the slow build of the relationship between the two of them. When the police show up to search Vince's locker after someone accuses him of carrying a gun, Coach Taylor takes his time confronting him. He offers Vince a pep talk about the importance of staying out of trouble, but Vince isn't as trusting of Coach just yet. "Am I just another player who can throw the ball and run fast?" he says. "If I break my ankle and can't play no more, you still going to come around here?" Vince obviously sees Coach as the father he doesn't have, so getting attached to someone who may leave at any moment doesn't have much appeal. It was very telling when Vince shows up at Coach Taylor's house and hands him a paper sack with the gun inside. I hope Coach doesn't disappoint him. If he's telling Vince to walk the right path, the least he can do is help him read the map.
Dillon High is awarded the Blue Ribbon of Excellence and they have Tami to thank for that. She's been the principal for a year and has already turned the school around. The staff takes her out to celebrate and as soon as they cut to a karaoke bar I thought Tami was being set up to be caught in a compromising position. Well, she was put in a position alright. One of the drunk teachers plants a kiss on her as they waited for a cab. Pause it: Tami is far more diplomatic about that situation than I would've been. I know he was drunk and all, but he definitely would've gotten a tongue lashing and it wouldn't have been that French kiss he was going for.
There were a lot of sweet moments in this show, but one of the most tender was when "Tinker", one of the football players, shows up to help Luke fix a fence for his father. Luke had already missed practice and was falling asleep during school when "Tinker" offers to lend a hand. "Friday Night Lights" is set against the backdrop of football, but like Vince said, "This is not just about football." This show has always been about showcasing the best and worst sides of people's personalities; their joys and heartbreaks; their pride and their shame. You can't help but to melt when Riggins gently explains to Becky why her father will never be the type of dad she wants. Or when Luke's dad realizes his son is a great football player. Those are the moments that bring me back to Dillon, Texas, every week ... not football.
It's three weeks until we get a new episode. I'll try not to hurt myself during the wait.
So Matt Sarac
en is gone. Really gone. I mean, I knew that last week, but watching Julie nurse a broken heart made mine break too. For three years we've watched her and Matt fall in love so I feel shortchanged that they didn't give the relationship some sort of closure. I know it happens like that in real life sometimes but this is TV. I wanted my happy ending. Pause it: Chin up, Jules. Been there, done that, went to therapy about it then claimed the visits on my taxes.To help herself out of the break-up slump, Julie signs up for every extracurricular activity she can find, including the beautifully named Academic Smackdown, a Quiz Bowl-like school competition that she also sucks Landry into. "Do you realize the irony behind the term 'academic smackdown?'" he quips. Julie ends up breaking down after finding out that Matt has been in contact with his family but hasn't bothered to call her. Where do you think Matt took off to? Chicago to give art school another try? I hope it's somewhere close so he can come home and visit us. The only thing that could drive this story home is if Julie finds herself in the family way and Matt is forced to come back to take care of the baby.
Elsewhere around the town, Coach Taylor picks Vince to be quarterback for the East Dillon Lions. I am loving the slow build of the relationship between the two of them. When the police show up to search Vince's locker after someone accuses him of carrying a gun, Coach Taylor takes his time confronting him. He offers Vince a pep talk about the importance of staying out of trouble, but Vince isn't as trusting of Coach just yet. "Am I just another player who can throw the ball and run fast?" he says. "If I break my ankle and can't play no more, you still going to come around here?" Vince obviously sees Coach as the father he doesn't have, so getting attached to someone who may leave at any moment doesn't have much appeal. It was very telling when Vince shows up at Coach Taylor's house and hands him a paper sack with the gun inside. I hope Coach doesn't disappoint him. If he's telling Vince to walk the right path, the least he can do is help him read the map.
Dillon High is awarded the Blue Ribbon of Excellence and they have Tami to thank for that. She's been the principal for a year and has already turned the school around. The staff takes her out to celebrate and as soon as they cut to a karaoke bar I thought Tami was being set up to be caught in a compromising position. Well, she was put in a position alright. One of the drunk teachers plants a kiss on her as they waited for a cab. Pause it: Tami is far more diplomatic about that situation than I would've been. I know he was drunk and all, but he definitely would've gotten a tongue lashing and it wouldn't have been that French kiss he was going for.
There were a lot of sweet moments in this show, but one of the most tender was when "Tinker", one of the football players, shows up to help Luke fix a fence for his father. Luke had already missed practice and was falling asleep during school when "Tinker" offers to lend a hand. "Friday Night Lights" is set against the backdrop of football, but like Vince said, "This is not just about football." This show has always been about showcasing the best and worst sides of people's personalities; their joys and heartbreaks; their pride and their shame. You can't help but to melt when Riggins gently explains to Becky why her father will never be the type of dad she wants. Or when Luke's dad realizes his son is a great football player. Those are the moments that bring me back to Dillon, Texas, every week ... not football.
It's three weeks until we get a new episode. I'll try not to hurt myself during the wait.
Now we know he can dance
Hopefully everyone that is reading this blog knows by now that Russell Ferguson, the 20-year-old krumper from Boston, is the winner of "So You Think You Can Dance" Season 6. Russell dazzled the judges and viewers alike with his charming personality and his ability to adapt to every style of dance thrown his way.
I have been on Team Russell since Day 1, and finally, the viewers got it right for a change. The best dancer (by my standards) finally won! Second runner-up Jakob was tough competition and I still would've been happy if he'd won. He can bend his body in ways that no man should ever attempt. But Jakob was already a very polished dancer. Russell was untrained in any style of dance so it was cool to watch him progress each week, tackling new styles with ease. I was worried that the judges loved him a little too much. I usually makes the viewers vote for an underdog.
Poor Russell hurt his leg during the repeat performance from the three hip-hop dancers. He had to sit out for the rest of the show and we watched his top routines on playback from the original performances. BOO! He didn't seem all that banged up when they called his name for winner ... but lucky for him he's got $250,000 to cover those medical bills.
A few notes about this season:
I have been on Team Russell since Day 1, and finally, the viewers got it right for a change. The best dancer (by my standards) finally won! Second runner-up Jakob was tough competition and I still would've been happy if he'd won. He can bend his body in ways that no man should ever attempt. But Jakob was already a very polished dancer. Russell was untrained in any style of dance so it was cool to watch him progress each week, tackling new styles with ease. I was worried that the judges loved him a little too much. I usually makes the viewers vote for an underdog.Poor Russell hurt his leg during the repeat performance from the three hip-hop dancers. He had to sit out for the rest of the show and we watched his top routines on playback from the original performances. BOO! He didn't seem all that banged up when they called his name for winner ... but lucky for him he's got $250,000 to cover those medical bills.
A few notes about this season:
- Adding Adam Shankman as a permanent judge was a bad idea. Awful. What was wrong with the rotating panel of choreographers? The only other person I would hated listening to more would've been Lil C. The way he phrases his comments drives me insane!
- The show did itself a disservice by airing back-to-back seasons within 6 weeks of each other. The ink was barely dry on Season 5 winner Jeanine's check before they were holding auditions for the next season. The plan obviously backfired because they didn't even have enough weeks to get to a final 4. We had to endure a Top 6 where there were no group dances or final solo performances.
- Not having Mia Michaels really brought down the level of dancing. There was some standout choreography from former contestant Travis Wall (give the guy an Emmy already) and Sonya Tayeh, but it's time to bring in some fresh hip hop dancers. Nothing against Tabitha and Napoleon, but their routines don't have as much sizzle as Shane Sparks' numbers had.
- Please stop with the lame guest performers. J-Lo? Adam Lambert? Really? All Lambert did was prove why he lost "American Idol". Whoever told him he could sing shout be carted out to pasture and shot. SHOT! And as much as I love me some Mary J. Blige, she did not belong on this show. Save it for "Dancing With the Stars", sister.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Watch this, tape that - Wednesday
This week is moving like molasses. Here's what's on tonight:
Holiday specials
"Prep & Landing" (ABC, 8:00).
"Christmas With the Mormon Tabernacle Choir" (PBS, 8:00).
8:00
Tape this: "So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX). You could watch this 2-hour finale live, but if you're like me you'll want to watch the repeat performances of the season's best routines more than once. Go Russell!!!
9:00
Watch this: "Top Chef: Las Vegas" (Bravo). It's the reunion special.
Tape that: "Criminal Minds" (CBS). An ex-con escapes while in BAU custody. Expect the word 'unsub' to be used about 23 times.
Catch it on second run: "Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Ruins" (MTV). Another reunion.
Holiday specials
"Prep & Landing" (ABC, 8:00).
"Christmas With the Mormon Tabernacle Choir" (PBS, 8:00).
8:00
Tape this: "So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX). You could watch this 2-hour finale live, but if you're like me you'll want to watch the repeat performances of the season's best routines more than once. Go Russell!!!
9:00
Watch this: "Top Chef: Las Vegas" (Bravo). It's the reunion special.
Tape that: "Criminal Minds" (CBS). An ex-con escapes while in BAU custody. Expect the word 'unsub' to be used about 23 times.
Catch it on second run: "Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Ruins" (MTV). Another reunion.
... in all the wrong places
Sorry for not posting on Monday night. I was at a holiday party and didn't get a chance to watch everything. But when I finally did, I was really disappointed. Delko's special return to "CSI: Miami" was nothing more than him doing the same job, just working for the opposite side. Diddy didn't fire anyone. Even "Hoarders" didn't tug at gag reflex like it normally does. Tuesday was a little better. Here's the rundown:
"T
een Mom" (MTV, 10:00): The action picks up with Maci's baby daddy, Ryan, returning home after working a 6-week job away from home. He immediately heads out to hang with his boys, leaving Maci to take care of baby boy Bentley. She later moves out of their apartment and back in with her parents. Maci seems sincere about moving out, but we'll see how long she lasts before she caves to Ryan's magnetic charm. Pause it: Let's give Ryan time to go out and buy some magnetic charm. We're back in 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2
Farrah (at left with daughter Sophia) is still in the running for being world's bitchiest teen mom. She determined not to be a single mom so she's trying to date her way through the male population in her hometown. This week loser is Shaq, a black kid she met at work. And stereotypes be damned, his favorite food is ... wait for it ... chicken, which she promises to cook for him. Rewind: I hope she does a better job with that chicken than she did with that microwave pizza last week.
Farrah needs a serious reality check and her sister is determined to give it to her. When sis calls her out for focusing on dating instead of spending time with Sophia, Farrah storms out and whines to her granny that she's a good mom. Cut to her driving off with Sophia on the hood of her car. OK, she didn't do that, but you see where I'm going with this.
Amber desperately wants to be a high school graduate and set out to get a diploma. Too bad her career counselor says her only option is a Good Enough Diploma. At least she's trying to do something with her life. She scores well on her GED pretest and she finally gets a ray of hope.
Catelynn and Tyler did a commendable deed when they gave their daughter Carly up for adoption, but now it's time to let go of the strings. They talk about their baby like she's on loan to her new parents. They have an open-adoption agreement but that doesn't entitle them to the stuff they are asking for. I think it's generous of the parents to send them pictures and emails about Carly, but I don't blame them for wanting to keep a little bit of distance. Catelynn believes it's her right as a mother to know Carly's last name, but I've got news for you hon: You're a mother, but you're not the mother. Sorry for the harsh reality, but just because you've given birth doesn't make you mature.
CHANNEL SURFING
"T
een Mom" (MTV, 10:00): The action picks up with Maci's baby daddy, Ryan, returning home after working a 6-week job away from home. He immediately heads out to hang with his boys, leaving Maci to take care of baby boy Bentley. She later moves out of their apartment and back in with her parents. Maci seems sincere about moving out, but we'll see how long she lasts before she caves to Ryan's magnetic charm. Pause it: Let's give Ryan time to go out and buy some magnetic charm. We're back in 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2Farrah (at left with daughter Sophia) is still in the running for being world's bitchiest teen mom. She determined not to be a single mom so she's trying to date her way through the male population in her hometown. This week loser is Shaq, a black kid she met at work. And stereotypes be damned, his favorite food is ... wait for it ... chicken, which she promises to cook for him. Rewind: I hope she does a better job with that chicken than she did with that microwave pizza last week.
Farrah needs a serious reality check and her sister is determined to give it to her. When sis calls her out for focusing on dating instead of spending time with Sophia, Farrah storms out and whines to her granny that she's a good mom. Cut to her driving off with Sophia on the hood of her car. OK, she didn't do that, but you see where I'm going with this.
Amber desperately wants to be a high school graduate and set out to get a diploma. Too bad her career counselor says her only option is a Good Enough Diploma. At least she's trying to do something with her life. She scores well on her GED pretest and she finally gets a ray of hope.
Catelynn and Tyler did a commendable deed when they gave their daughter Carly up for adoption, but now it's time to let go of the strings. They talk about their baby like she's on loan to her new parents. They have an open-adoption agreement but that doesn't entitle them to the stuff they are asking for. I think it's generous of the parents to send them pictures and emails about Carly, but I don't blame them for wanting to keep a little bit of distance. Catelynn believes it's her right as a mother to know Carly's last name, but I've got news for you hon: You're a mother, but you're not the mother. Sorry for the harsh reality, but just because you've given birth doesn't make you mature.
CHANNEL SURFING
- If Russell doesn't win "So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX, 8:00), you have the judges to thank for that. They've been hanging out in his butt all season, singing his praise. But America tends to hate that and always votes for the person least likely to win. *Looking at Kathryn significantly* I'm sure she'll win because the best dancer has never won the competition. Sorry Russell. Enjoy that second place trophy, but if you win, you owe me money for my phone bill. I voted multiple times ;-)
- I was all geared up to write about "The Good Wife" (CBS, 10:00), but the storyline was as old as Cain and Abel. A detention center gets kickbacks for every kid sent to juvie. Did I not beg for this story to be different? It's already been done on multiple shows this season. Originality people. That's what wins awards.
- "How the Earth Was Made" (History, 9:00): Finding out how the Sahara desert was made was about as dry as the desert itself. I'm so sorry for recommending it. Please see the cashier for your refund.
- "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" returns January 4 on ABC Family. Now that Amy has had the baby the action is really lame. I hope they come back with better stories.
- "The Colbert Report" (Comedy Central): Stephen Colbert is freakin' hilarious. Thanks for calling out Washington state for it's "holiday tree" and taking "Christ" out of Christmas. A wag of the finger to Gov. Gregoire. And his rap performance of "Empire State of Mind" alongside Alicia Keys earned him a heap of street cred! Mad props, yo! (or whatever it is they say in New York).
- "The Real World: DC" (MTV) premiers next Wednesday. Is this show still relevant to anyone born after 1990?
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Watch this, tape that - Tuesday
Finally, a break from all the Christmas stuff. Too bad Tuesdays are still a dull day for TV. Here's your guide:
8:00
Watch this: "So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX). Part 1 of the Season 6 finale. The remaining 6 dancers perform.
9:00
Watch this: "How the Earth Was Made" (History). It's not my usual fair, but it sounds interesting. Tonight they explore how the Sahara desert in northern Africa was formed.
10:00
Watch this: "The Good Wife" (CBS). Alicia investigates a judge after he overturns a simple plea bargain she arranged. This had better not end the way I think it will, with the judge receiving kickbacks for sending kids to jail. Been there, done that on 3 other shows this season.
Tape that: "Teen Mom" (MTV). It's probably wishful thinking to hope that Farrah grew up in a week's time.
Catch it on second run: "Tabatha's Salon Takeover" (Bravo). Fab Tab works to mend an L.A. salon that's run by a young, lazy owner. Make her cry, Tabatha!
8:00
Watch this: "So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX). Part 1 of the Season 6 finale. The remaining 6 dancers perform.
9:00
Watch this: "How the Earth Was Made" (History). It's not my usual fair, but it sounds interesting. Tonight they explore how the Sahara desert in northern Africa was formed.
10:00
Watch this: "The Good Wife" (CBS). Alicia investigates a judge after he overturns a simple plea bargain she arranged. This had better not end the way I think it will, with the judge receiving kickbacks for sending kids to jail. Been there, done that on 3 other shows this season.
Tape that: "Teen Mom" (MTV). It's probably wishful thinking to hope that Farrah grew up in a week's time.
Catch it on second run: "Tabatha's Salon Takeover" (Bravo). Fab Tab works to mend an L.A. salon that's run by a young, lazy owner. Make her cry, Tabatha!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Watch this, tape that - Monday
Happy Birthday to my niece, Charlotte!
Another week of holiday shows. I'll navigate you through them, just try to keep up. Here's what's on:
Holiday specials
"Jennifer Hudson: I'll Be Home for Christmas" (ABC, 8:00). J-Hud sings your Christmas favorites.
9:00
Watch this: "Lie to Me" (FOX). A farm march turns dangerous when one protester parks his truck full of explosives near the Treasury building. That can't be safe.
10:00
Watch this: "Men of a Certain Age" (TNT). The premier was good enough for me to have a second helping. Tonight, Joe considers moving from his hotel room to an apartment.
Tape that: "Hoarders" (A&E). A man risks eviction from subsidized housing. You may want to watch with your hand sanitizer nearby.
See it online: "CSI: Miami" (CBS.com). Delko is back, but he's testifying for the defense. AWKward!
Catch it on second run: "I Want to Work for Diddy" (VH1). Show plays again at midnight, but if you're at home during the day, the show comes on at 11:00 am ... before it airs in prime time. Don't ask me why. VH1 has no logic.
Another week of holiday shows. I'll navigate you through them, just try to keep up. Here's what's on:
Holiday specials
"Jennifer Hudson: I'll Be Home for Christmas" (ABC, 8:00). J-Hud sings your Christmas favorites.
9:00
Watch this: "Lie to Me" (FOX). A farm march turns dangerous when one protester parks his truck full of explosives near the Treasury building. That can't be safe.
10:00
Watch this: "Men of a Certain Age" (TNT). The premier was good enough for me to have a second helping. Tonight, Joe considers moving from his hotel room to an apartment.
Tape that: "Hoarders" (A&E). A man risks eviction from subsidized housing. You may want to watch with your hand sanitizer nearby.
See it online: "CSI: Miami" (CBS.com). Delko is back, but he's testifying for the defense. AWKward!
Catch it on second run: "I Want to Work for Diddy" (VH1). Show plays again at midnight, but if you're at home during the day, the show comes on at 11:00 am ... before it airs in prime time. Don't ask me why. VH1 has no logic.
One monkey don't stop the show
Sunday was a slow night.
"The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty" (A&E, 10:00): I debated whether or not I should watch this
show. I totally turned into one of those rubber-neckers who wanted to see if the train was going off the track. It didn't derail, but the conductor (Jermaine) is clearly falling asleep at the wheel. All the brothers are listed as executive producers, so I can't be sure how "real" this reality show is going to be. Supposedly this show wasn't going to see the light of day, but after Michael died, A&E saw an opportunity to ride the wave of people cashing in. But in all honesty, I was excited to see the show when I heard about it, and that was way before Michael died. Too bad A&E felt the need to milk his death until the teat was dry.
The Jackson 5 is reuniting for their 40th anniversary, but it's been a long time since they've been on stage together. Pause it: Clearly that hyperbaric chamber works though, because they Jermaine and Jackie look frozen in time. It isn't clear if Michael was on board with the idea, but the brothers talked as if he would be joining them. *Cough* Fat chance *Cough*.
Here are a few things I learned about the Jackson brothers:
"The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty" (A&E, 10:00): I debated whether or not I should watch this
show. I totally turned into one of those rubber-neckers who wanted to see if the train was going off the track. It didn't derail, but the conductor (Jermaine) is clearly falling asleep at the wheel. All the brothers are listed as executive producers, so I can't be sure how "real" this reality show is going to be. Supposedly this show wasn't going to see the light of day, but after Michael died, A&E saw an opportunity to ride the wave of people cashing in. But in all honesty, I was excited to see the show when I heard about it, and that was way before Michael died. Too bad A&E felt the need to milk his death until the teat was dry. The Jackson 5 is reuniting for their 40th anniversary, but it's been a long time since they've been on stage together. Pause it: Clearly that hyperbaric chamber works though, because they Jermaine and Jackie look frozen in time. It isn't clear if Michael was on board with the idea, but the brothers talked as if he would be joining them. *Cough* Fat chance *Cough*.
Here are a few things I learned about the Jackson brothers:
- They know their roles. Jermaine is the fame whore, and proud of it. Tito is the hot head (like father, like son). Jackie is the calm one and Marlon is the comedian, although I found Tito to be quite funny.
- Jermaine and Jackie don't get along that well, and both run and tattle to mommy when they don't get their way.
- Jackie, Marlon and Tito are still bitter about Jermaine staying with Motown when they jumped labels to CBS. That was like, before I was born ... move on guys.
- Tito is the only brother to never release a solo album. "I don't want to be a trivia question: Which brother of the Jackson 5 never released a solo album?"
- Jackie always takes his daughter to business meetings because she's more vocal with her opinions than he is.
Here is a breakdown of what's real and what's not:
Real: Their talent. No one is disputing it, but to see that they still have it after 40 years is amazing. Not real: Jermaine's tribute concert in Vienna. If they do indeed reschedule that show I'll walk on my lips. Real: The miniseries "The Jacksons: An American Dream". Just from their conversations, they confirmed that the movie was factual. And if you haven't seen it already, go out and rent it ... or wait for VH1 to play it. Not real: Jermaine's hair. It looks like he took a bottle of gel and some shoe polish and used it as gel and hair color.
There's only 6 episodes to this series so I'll probably be sticking around for it. Mainly so I can hate on Jermaine. The other guys seem fairly genuine and funny, and in the words of Jackie, "One monkey don't stop the show," so I'm not going to let Jermaine's antics keep me from tuning in.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Watch this, tape that - Weekend Edition
It's a very slow weekend. I'd rather you tape everything and go see "The Blind Side". Best movie I've seen all year! And that's something coming from a girl who spends 30+ hours a week watching TV.
Holiday specials for the weekend:
"Yes, Virginia (CBS, Fri., 8:00).
"Polar Express" (ABC, Sat., 8:00)
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" (CBS, Sat., 8:00)
"The Flight Before Christmas" (CBS, Sat., 9:00)
"It's a Wonderful Life" (NBC, Sat., 8:00)
"Christmas at the White House" (ABC, Sun., 10:00)
"Santa Baby 2" (ABC Family, Sun., 8:00)
Friday
9:00
Watch this: "Ugly Betty" (ABC). Cal hires a creative director to replace Wilhelmina; Ignacio prepares for the holiday feast with a new girlfriend.
Saturday
10:00
Watch this: "48 Hours Mystery: American Girl, Italian Murder" (CBS). A recap of the Amanda Knox saga since last week's verdict.
Sunday
Watch this: "The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty" (A&E). Series premier in back-to-back episodes. I don't think this show would've seen the light of day had Michael not died. In any case, it's another opportunity for Jermaine to ride his brother's coattail.
Tape that: "Cold Case" (CBS, 10:00). The murder of a hockey player.
Holiday specials for the weekend:
"Yes, Virginia (CBS, Fri., 8:00).
"Polar Express" (ABC, Sat., 8:00)
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" (CBS, Sat., 8:00)
"The Flight Before Christmas" (CBS, Sat., 9:00)
"It's a Wonderful Life" (NBC, Sat., 8:00)
"Christmas at the White House" (ABC, Sun., 10:00)
"Santa Baby 2" (ABC Family, Sun., 8:00)
Friday
9:00
Watch this: "Ugly Betty" (ABC). Cal hires a creative director to replace Wilhelmina; Ignacio prepares for the holiday feast with a new girlfriend.
Saturday
10:00
Watch this: "48 Hours Mystery: American Girl, Italian Murder" (CBS). A recap of the Amanda Knox saga since last week's verdict.
Sunday
Watch this: "The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty" (A&E). Series premier in back-to-back episodes. I don't think this show would've seen the light of day had Michael not died. In any case, it's another opportunity for Jermaine to ride his brother's coattail.
Tape that: "Cold Case" (CBS, 10:00). The murder of a hockey player.
Dream crushers
And here I was thinking Thursday was going to be a boring night. Let's not waste time ...
"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): OH. EM. GEE! That's all I can say about this show. We've reached the part of the game where my heart starts beating out of my chest and my stomach is in KNOTS for 45 minutes - all the strategizing makes me nervous. Russell has officially become Survivor's best player ever. The man is a beast, and I can't believe it's taken the other survivors 33 days to realize what a force he is. For the last 4 weeks, I have been leading a one-lady hotness parade carrying Russell's banner (and for that I'm only slightly embarrassed). But seriously, he basically dropped his pants at Tribal Council, revealed a massive pair of immunity idols and dared Aiga to cut 'em off.
In case anyone wants to know, Aiga is the name of the merged tribe, but they haven't used that since Day 20. The group is still divided by tribal lines, with Shambo redistricting herself into Foa Foa. You would think after last week's blindside of John (and herself) she would be hip to Russell's square. But "Shan With the Plan" still thinks she's running the show and 'cocky' is not a good color on her. Word of Russell's wealth is spreading around camp and he confronts his fellow Foas to see who spilled the beans. Rewind: Did Jai'son look hungry? tired? sleepy? when he was passing around Russell's bank statement? I didn't think so. He said he honestly didn't remember and I want to believe him. If he hadn't have played his race card so early in the game, maybe he could've whipped it out here. (See previous post for rules on playing the race card).
The first immunity challenge was a Survivor bowling tournament. It was Jai'son and Dave in the final round and Dave choked under the pressure, handing Jai'son his second immunity win. Cut to Tribal Council where Dave gets bounced despite some last minute scrambling by Galu. The second challenge was a bean bag basket toss thingy that Brett (who?) comes out of nowhere to win. When he gets back to camp he starts trying to make a power play by getting Foa Squared to turn on Russell. Pause it: Who is this guy and where has he been the whole show? You're all big and bad with that idol necklace on, Brett, but I dare you to make a move without one ... pansy.
Russell didn't get this far by being stupid. The first thing he did upon arrival at Tribal Council was pull out his idol and put it around his neck. Monica, who's been laying low since her near-torch snuffing early in the game, decides now would be the time to open her mouth. Pause it: Really Monica? Really? You're on my fantasy team, heifer! You just handed my chocolate cake trophy over to my opponent, Jackie.
I was on the edge of my seat during the vote reading and I can honestly say I thought Russell's arrogance would be his downfall tonight. Alas, Foa sticks with their leader and votes off Monica, my most worthless fantasy pick ever. Whoever wants to join my one-lady hotness parade and cheer Russell on to the finish, raise your hand!!!
CHANNEL SURFING
"The Office" (NBC, 9:00): In their special holiday episode, Phyllis gets to fulfill her dream of being the office Santa. She turned her request in 11 weeks ago and Jim gave her the all clear. So imagine her anger when Michael shows up decked out in his Old Saint Nick suit yelling "women can't be Santa Claus".
"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): OH. EM. GEE! That's all I can say about this show. We've reached the part of the game where my heart starts beating out of my chest and my stomach is in KNOTS for 45 minutes - all the strategizing makes me nervous. Russell has officially become Survivor's best player ever. The man is a beast, and I can't believe it's taken the other survivors 33 days to realize what a force he is. For the last 4 weeks, I have been leading a one-lady hotness parade carrying Russell's banner (and for that I'm only slightly embarrassed). But seriously, he basically dropped his pants at Tribal Council, revealed a massive pair of immunity idols and dared Aiga to cut 'em off.In case anyone wants to know, Aiga is the name of the merged tribe, but they haven't used that since Day 20. The group is still divided by tribal lines, with Shambo redistricting herself into Foa Foa. You would think after last week's blindside of John (and herself) she would be hip to Russell's square. But "Shan With the Plan" still thinks she's running the show and 'cocky' is not a good color on her. Word of Russell's wealth is spreading around camp and he confronts his fellow Foas to see who spilled the beans. Rewind: Did Jai'son look hungry? tired? sleepy? when he was passing around Russell's bank statement? I didn't think so. He said he honestly didn't remember and I want to believe him. If he hadn't have played his race card so early in the game, maybe he could've whipped it out here. (See previous post for rules on playing the race card).
The first immunity challenge was a Survivor bowling tournament. It was Jai'son and Dave in the final round and Dave choked under the pressure, handing Jai'son his second immunity win. Cut to Tribal Council where Dave gets bounced despite some last minute scrambling by Galu. The second challenge was a bean bag basket toss thingy that Brett (who?) comes out of nowhere to win. When he gets back to camp he starts trying to make a power play by getting Foa Squared to turn on Russell. Pause it: Who is this guy and where has he been the whole show? You're all big and bad with that idol necklace on, Brett, but I dare you to make a move without one ... pansy.
Russell didn't get this far by being stupid. The first thing he did upon arrival at Tribal Council was pull out his idol and put it around his neck. Monica, who's been laying low since her near-torch snuffing early in the game, decides now would be the time to open her mouth. Pause it: Really Monica? Really? You're on my fantasy team, heifer! You just handed my chocolate cake trophy over to my opponent, Jackie.
I was on the edge of my seat during the vote reading and I can honestly say I thought Russell's arrogance would be his downfall tonight. Alas, Foa sticks with their leader and votes off Monica, my most worthless fantasy pick ever. Whoever wants to join my one-lady hotness parade and cheer Russell on to the finish, raise your hand!!!
CHANNEL SURFING
"The Office" (NBC, 9:00): In their special holiday episode, Phyllis gets to fulfill her dream of being the office Santa. She turned her request in 11 weeks ago and Jim gave her the all clear. So imagine her anger when Michael shows up decked out in his Old Saint Nick suit yelling "women can't be Santa Claus". The power struggle continues throughout the Christmas party with Michael heckling Phyllis's performance and revealing everyone's secret Santa. Jim finally forces Michael to leave, but he comes back dressed as Jesus. Not as funny as the "Santa Claus is Coming to Scranton" episode from Season 2, but it still offered some hiliarious lines like this one: "You can't yell out, 'I need this, I need this' as you try to pin an employee to your lap." - Jim, to a pouting Michael.
"CSI:" (CBS, 9:00): I love it when they have quirky cases like this. The fellas kidnap lab tech Henry to celebrate his birthday. They drive to a nearby city only to get run off the road. They make it to the restaurant and see it's been shut down since March, but also discover a dead body inside. There was quite a bit of gross stuff, but that's how I like my "CSI:"! Did anyone else laugh when the Greg, frustrated about not being able to find a phone signal says, "If I can't find a phone I'm going to make one" then he goes off and does some MacGyver-type stuff and fashions a telephone. Not bad for a Level 2 CSI.
CAN I GET A JUDGE'S RULING?: Just an observation, but one would think that NBC execs are watching an awful lot of shows on FOX. First they described their new show, "Sing-Off", as "Glee" meets "American Idol", two FOX network shows. Then they have virtually the same storyline on "Law & Order: SVU" that "Bones" had on talk show hosts inciting people to commit murder. I know "SVU" aired first, but I think that Dick Wolf must have gotten a copy of their script somehow. I'm just saying ...
Thursday, December 10, 2009
"I think he's leaving"
SPOILER ALERT!! I'm watching "Friday Night Lights" on Direct TV's 101 network so if you're waiting until NBC airs the episodes in 2010, read no further!
By now you all know I have a blatant love affair going with "FNL". This week we had our first fight.
If last week's episode left me dissolved into a brown puddle of tears, this one had me East Dillon red. We all new Matt Saracen's day was coming, but is that really the way he's leaving us? No dramatic buildup? No heartfelt goodbye with Coach Taylor? Every original character has gotten a proper sendoff. Smash, Tyra, Street and Lyla all got the "special episode" treatment. And what does Matt get? He gets to drive off into the proverbial sunset.
To me, Matt Saracen is what "Friday Night Light" is all about. The small-town boy with big city responsibilities; the guy you root for and the guy you pity, all in the same breath. If Coach Taylor is the heart of Dillon, Texas, then Matt Saracen is it's soul. If that really was his last episode, I'll cry for him the way I cried for the rest of them. At least the writers let us know two things: one, that he received a $100,000 death gratuity because his father died in combat and two, we don't have to worry about his grandma because the insurance payments have her set for the rest of her life. Pause it: If Matt is gone does that mean that was the last of his mom and grandmother? Just stick the knife in and twist it, why don't cha?
Around the town
By now you all know I have a blatant love affair going with "FNL". This week we had our first fight.
If last week's episode left me dissolved into a brown puddle of tears, this one had me East Dillon red. We all new Matt Saracen's day was coming, but is that really the way he's leaving us? No dramatic buildup? No heartfelt goodbye with Coach Taylor? Every original character has gotten a proper sendoff. Smash, Tyra, Street and Lyla all got the "special episode" treatment. And what does Matt get? He gets to drive off into the proverbial sunset.
To me, Matt Saracen is what "Friday Night Light" is all about. The small-town boy with big city responsibilities; the guy you root for and the guy you pity, all in the same breath. If Coach Taylor is the heart of Dillon, Texas, then Matt Saracen is it's soul. If that really was his last episode, I'll cry for him the way I cried for the rest of them. At least the writers let us know two things: one, that he received a $100,000 death gratuity because his father died in combat and two, we don't have to worry about his grandma because the insurance payments have her set for the rest of her life. Pause it: If Matt is gone does that mean that was the last of his mom and grandmother? Just stick the knife in and twist it, why don't cha?
Around the town
- Coach Taylor and his East Dillon Lions faced off against their toughest opponent yet in their first televised game. The Lions still have milk on their breath, but they are starting to gel as a team. Vince and Luke must've had a really nice talk on that long walk home last week, because their relationship is starting to resemble that of Landry and Saracen. The Lions lost the game in the last seconds, but they gave that undefeated team 4 quarters of football hell.
- Speaking of Landry, he admits to Jess that he enjoyed their kiss and wants to see where things could go, but, oh yeah, he still has feelings for Tyra. She slaps him. No further explaination needed.
- Lyla Garrity stopped by to say hello to Tim. And by 'hello' I mean 'hello'! Lyla will be that girl who goes on to marry well, have 2.5 kids and drive an SUV. But deep down she will always pine for the grease-monkey loser she loved back in high school.
Watch this, tape that - Thursday
Here's what's on:
Holiday specials
"2009 Hollywood Christmas Parade" (MyNetworkTV). Susan Lucci serves as Grand Marshal.
8:00
Watch this: "Survivor" (CBS). It's a double-elimination week. Will Russell be able to coast along for another week or will he be forced to use his idol? Either way, I'll be glued to my TV screen!
Tape that: "Bones" (FOX). A man dressed up as Santa Claus blows himself up during a failed robbery attempt. 'Tis the season.
Also on: "Parks and Recreation" (NBC). I promised my friend Jeff I'd check it out if he'd watch "Modern Family". I'll let you know how it all plays out.
9:00
Watch this: "The Office" (NBC). It's only 30 minutes. Michael and Phyllis feud.
Tape that: "CSI:" Greg, Nick and Hodges discover two murders at a biker bar. I'm praying to see Nick Stokes in leather pants.
10:00
None of the shows I watch are original airings tonight, but check out "The Mentalist" (CBS). It's always good for channel surfing.
Holiday specials
"2009 Hollywood Christmas Parade" (MyNetworkTV). Susan Lucci serves as Grand Marshal.
8:00
Watch this: "Survivor" (CBS). It's a double-elimination week. Will Russell be able to coast along for another week or will he be forced to use his idol? Either way, I'll be glued to my TV screen!
Tape that: "Bones" (FOX). A man dressed up as Santa Claus blows himself up during a failed robbery attempt. 'Tis the season.
Also on: "Parks and Recreation" (NBC). I promised my friend Jeff I'd check it out if he'd watch "Modern Family". I'll let you know how it all plays out.
9:00
Watch this: "The Office" (NBC). It's only 30 minutes. Michael and Phyllis feud.
Tape that: "CSI:" Greg, Nick and Hodges discover two murders at a biker bar. I'm praying to see Nick Stokes in leather pants.
10:00
None of the shows I watch are original airings tonight, but check out "The Mentalist" (CBS). It's always good for channel surfing.
Debbie Downer
I was really excited for tonight, but it ended up being kind of a downer. Yes, the guy got the girl on "Glee", but it was a dark and painful drive getting there. The holidays are supposed to be a time of joyous TV. Tonight I got a big ol' hump of coal.
"Glee" (FOX, 9:00): I know I'll probably get a lot of comments on the contrary, but I didn't really enjoy this episode. While there were some real laugh-out-loud moments, I found the action to be really depressing.
Everyone in New Directions knows Puck is Quinn's real baby daddy except Rachel. Once she finds out the truth she promptly spills the beans to Finn, who believed he'd gotten Quinn pregnant by dry humping in the hot tub. Finn punches Puck then quits the Glee Club, leaving them one singer short for sectionals.
Mr. Schue is still on punishment over the whole mattress debacle, so he can't go to the competition with the group. Emma volunteers to take his place, even though she's supposed to be getting married the same day. "We just pushed it back a few hours so now it doesn't have to happen in broad daylight," she explained.
Once they arrive at sectionals, New Direction draws the last slot to perform and have to sit through two other show choirs sing songs from their set list. Coach Sue had passed it along to the competition to insure the Glee Club's (and Mr. Schuester's) demise. After a pep talk from Mr. Schue, Finn rides in on his white horse to save the day. New Directions wins sectionals and Mr. Schue turns Coach Sue in to Principal Figgins for giving away their set list. In the end, Mr. Schue gets the Glee Club back, Sue is suspended from coaching the Cheerios, and Emma is left at the alter but gets swept off her feet by Mr. Schue after confessing her love.
Funniest line heard all night - Sue to Mr. Schue: "I am reasonably confident that you will be adding 'revenge' to the long list of things you're no good at, right next to being married, running a high school glee club and finding a hairstyle that doesn't make you look like a lesbian." She then kisses her fingers, puts them to Schue's lips and says, "Love ya like a sista." Classic!
Featured songs
"And I Am Telling You ..." - "Dreamgirls"
"Don't Rain On My Parade" - "Funny Girls"
"You Can't Always Get What You Want" - The Rolling Stones
"My Life Would Suck Without You" - Kelly Clarkson
Rewind: Did you notice that the choreography was a mash-up of steps from all the numbers they'd performed?
"Barbara Walters Special - 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009" (ABC, 10:00): Here are my thoughts on why Barb thinks these people are fascinating:
REALITY CHECK
"So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX, 8:00): The stage is set for next week's finale and over 8 million votes were cast to narrow the field down to our Top 6. I don't remember their ever being six dancers in the finale, but I'm rolling with it. After a great opening number choreographed by Sonia Tayeh, Cat sends Ryan and Legacy, Ellenore and Mollee to the bottom 4. I was glad to see Mollee in the bottom. Her cutesy schtick was getting on my nerves. For the guys, it's hard to see any of them go. There's a lot of male talent this season and I'm not sure their female counterparts are dancing up to their skill. Fast forward through useless performances from The Wonder Girls and "Idol" winner Kris Allen to see Mollee and Legacy get the ax. I really hated to see him go. Nigel is always saying how "SYTYCD" is about dancers growing and progressing and for me that dancer was Legacy. Yes, his crying was annoying, but you could tell this B-Boy was really growing in different styles of dance.
So we have Ellenore, Ryan, Ashleigh, Kathryn, Jakob and my personal favorite, Russell competing for the title. Along with Legacy, he's the dancer I think has grown the most. And he's sort of cute. Sort of.
"Top Chef" (Bravo, 10:00): So it was the Voltaggio brothers vs. southern cook Kevin in one of the closest finales ever on "Top Chef". The 3 finalists won a combined total of 12 out of the 13 elimination challenges, so obviously they know how to make good food. Eliminated contestants were made sous chefs by a random knife draw, with Kevin getting the worst picks with Preeti and Ash. For the final challenge, the cooks had to create a 3-course meal. The first course was a box full of secret ingredients and they had to use everything in the box to create the dish. The second course was a free-for-all and the third course had to be a dessert. The judges later added a fourth course inspired by favorite childhood memories.
"Glee" (FOX, 9:00): I know I'll probably get a lot of comments on the contrary, but I didn't really enjoy this episode. While there were some real laugh-out-loud moments, I found the action to be really depressing.Everyone in New Directions knows Puck is Quinn's real baby daddy except Rachel. Once she finds out the truth she promptly spills the beans to Finn, who believed he'd gotten Quinn pregnant by dry humping in the hot tub. Finn punches Puck then quits the Glee Club, leaving them one singer short for sectionals.
Mr. Schue is still on punishment over the whole mattress debacle, so he can't go to the competition with the group. Emma volunteers to take his place, even though she's supposed to be getting married the same day. "We just pushed it back a few hours so now it doesn't have to happen in broad daylight," she explained.
Once they arrive at sectionals, New Direction draws the last slot to perform and have to sit through two other show choirs sing songs from their set list. Coach Sue had passed it along to the competition to insure the Glee Club's (and Mr. Schuester's) demise. After a pep talk from Mr. Schue, Finn rides in on his white horse to save the day. New Directions wins sectionals and Mr. Schue turns Coach Sue in to Principal Figgins for giving away their set list. In the end, Mr. Schue gets the Glee Club back, Sue is suspended from coaching the Cheerios, and Emma is left at the alter but gets swept off her feet by Mr. Schue after confessing her love.
Funniest line heard all night - Sue to Mr. Schue: "I am reasonably confident that you will be adding 'revenge' to the long list of things you're no good at, right next to being married, running a high school glee club and finding a hairstyle that doesn't make you look like a lesbian." She then kisses her fingers, puts them to Schue's lips and says, "Love ya like a sista." Classic!
Featured songs
"And I Am Telling You ..." - "Dreamgirls"
"Don't Rain On My Parade" - "Funny Girls"
"You Can't Always Get What You Want" - The Rolling Stones
"My Life Would Suck Without You" - Kelly Clarkson
Rewind: Did you notice that the choreography was a mash-up of steps from all the numbers they'd performed?
"Barbara Walters Special - 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009" (ABC, 10:00): Here are my thoughts on why Barb thinks these people are fascinating:
- Michelle Obama - She wears sleeveless dresses year-round
- The Jackson children - They're famous father died and now they can take their masks off.
- Sarah Palin - She went rogue, but owes her success to Tina Fey.
- Brett Favre - He's old and still plays football.
- Adam Lambert - He's gay and kissed another guy on TV. Call me country, but isn't that how gay works? Fascinating would be him kissing a goat or something.
- Glenn Beck - For creating an insurgence of the use of the word 'fascist'.
- Kate Gosselin - She had 8 kids then pimped them out on TV for swag and free trips. Then she divorced the man who destroyed her uterus.
- Tyler Perry - He has a lot of hyphens in his title (actor-director-producer-studio owner-black).
- Jenny Sanford - She didn't stand by her cheating husband. That's not fascinating either. That's thinking smart before taking him to the cleaners.
- Lady Gaga - Because she bleeds during her performances.
REALITY CHECK
"So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX, 8:00): The stage is set for next week's finale and over 8 million votes were cast to narrow the field down to our Top 6. I don't remember their ever being six dancers in the finale, but I'm rolling with it. After a great opening number choreographed by Sonia Tayeh, Cat sends Ryan and Legacy, Ellenore and Mollee to the bottom 4. I was glad to see Mollee in the bottom. Her cutesy schtick was getting on my nerves. For the guys, it's hard to see any of them go. There's a lot of male talent this season and I'm not sure their female counterparts are dancing up to their skill. Fast forward through useless performances from The Wonder Girls and "Idol" winner Kris Allen to see Mollee and Legacy get the ax. I really hated to see him go. Nigel is always saying how "SYTYCD" is about dancers growing and progressing and for me that dancer was Legacy. Yes, his crying was annoying, but you could tell this B-Boy was really growing in different styles of dance.
So we have Ellenore, Ryan, Ashleigh, Kathryn, Jakob and my personal favorite, Russell competing for the title. Along with Legacy, he's the dancer I think has grown the most. And he's sort of cute. Sort of.
"Top Chef" (Bravo, 10:00): So it was the Voltaggio brothers vs. southern cook Kevin in one of the closest finales ever on "Top Chef". The 3 finalists won a combined total of 12 out of the 13 elimination challenges, so obviously they know how to make good food. Eliminated contestants were made sous chefs by a random knife draw, with Kevin getting the worst picks with Preeti and Ash. For the final challenge, the cooks had to create a 3-course meal. The first course was a box full of secret ingredients and they had to use everything in the box to create the dish. The second course was a free-for-all and the third course had to be a dessert. The judges later added a fourth course inspired by favorite childhood memories.
As it usually goes on "Top Chef", the better cook crashed and burned (Kevin) and it was down to the dreaded brothers - refined Bryan or risky Michael. The judges told Bryan to pack his knives, giving the title to his cocky brother. Talk about leaving a bad taste.
"Real World/Road Rules Challenge" (MTV, 10:00): It was almost an upset as KellyAnne and Sarah took on four Tarzans and a Jane, but alas, the Champions pulled away at the end to bank the $160,000 prize. I wasn't surprised that the girls did as well as they did, but I was surprised at how weak Susie really is as a competitor. She's undefeated in one-on-one face offs, but boy, she has no stamina for the long challenges. In the end, Johnny was right about her weighing the team down, but she came in handy at during the puzzle part of the challenge. Pause it: Was anybody else annoyed that Susie kept saying how exhausted she was when she hadn't done anything? *Punching Susie in face and handing her check to more deserving Sarah and KellyAnne.*
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Welcome to the party
Make room on the sofa for Rob and Chuck who are joining the party. I consistently force Rob to listen to my television ramblings and recitation of TV show theme songs. Chuck and I worked together in San Antonio and share a love of all-things reality TV ... and not the good stuff. I'm talking the VH1 "I-Love-(insert washed up singer here)"-bad-reality-TV.
Chuck is good friends with Matt Hoover, "The Biggest Loser" winner of Season 3. He was kind enough to direct me to Matt's Facebook page where I promptly sent him a friend request so I can see how life after "Loser" is treating him.
Welcome to the Watch Party guys!
Chuck is good friends with Matt Hoover, "The Biggest Loser" winner of Season 3. He was kind enough to direct me to Matt's Facebook page where I promptly sent him a friend request so I can see how life after "Loser" is treating him.
Welcome to the Watch Party guys!
Watch this, tape that - Wednesday
Calling all Gleeks! It's the episode we've been waiting for. Oh, there's other stuff on too.
Holiday specials
"Shrek the Halls" (ABC, 8:00)
8:00
Watch this: "So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX). Two more dancers are sent home.
9:00
Watch this: "Glee" (FOX). It's the fall finale and you don't want to miss it. Quinn's baby daddy secret unravels as the sectionals competition approaches, threatening Glee Club cohesion at the worst possible time.
Tape that: "Modern Family" (ABC). Phil's dad pays a visit for the holidays.
10:00
Watch this: "Barbara Walters Special: The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009" (ABC). We already know that Lady Gaga, Tyler Perry and Sarah Palin made the list, but who's number one? This had better be good, Barbara!
Tape that: "Top Chef: Las Vegas" (Bravo). It all boils down to this! The Season 6 winner is announced.
See it online: "CSI: NY" (CBS.com). A nearly 100-year-old corpse is found in a vacant penthouse.
See it on second run: "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" (MTV). Can 2 girls really beat a team full of 4 guys and an undefeated girl? If they do it will be the best "Challenge" upset ever!
Holiday specials
"Shrek the Halls" (ABC, 8:00)
8:00
Watch this: "So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX). Two more dancers are sent home.
9:00
Watch this: "Glee" (FOX). It's the fall finale and you don't want to miss it. Quinn's baby daddy secret unravels as the sectionals competition approaches, threatening Glee Club cohesion at the worst possible time.
Tape that: "Modern Family" (ABC). Phil's dad pays a visit for the holidays.
10:00
Watch this: "Barbara Walters Special: The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009" (ABC). We already know that Lady Gaga, Tyler Perry and Sarah Palin made the list, but who's number one? This had better be good, Barbara!
Tape that: "Top Chef: Las Vegas" (Bravo). It all boils down to this! The Season 6 winner is announced.
See it online: "CSI: NY" (CBS.com). A nearly 100-year-old corpse is found in a vacant penthouse.
See it on second run: "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" (MTV). Can 2 girls really beat a team full of 4 guys and an undefeated girl? If they do it will be the best "Challenge" upset ever!
I was rushing home tonight because I thought Barbara Walters would be revealing her Top 10. I guess I should've read my own notes.
"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, 8:00): It's finale night and I find it highly ironic tha
t a weight loss show packs on so many extras to stretch drag this thing to two hours. First, second and last of all, Allison Sweeney is horrible at live-hosting. HORRIBLE! I find it painful to watch her at these finale shows. And let me just add my disclaimer now: If it sounds like I'm hating on these contestants, you are probably right. But don't pretend you weren't thinking the same thing. I say it so you don't have to.
"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, 8:00): It's finale night and I find it highly ironic tha
t a weight loss show packs on so many extras to stretch drag this thing to two hours. First, second and last of all, Allison Sweeney is horrible at live-hosting. HORRIBLE! I find it painful to watch her at these finale shows. And let me just add my disclaimer now: If it sounds like I'm hating on these contestants, you are probably right. But don't pretend you weren't thinking the same thing. I say it so you don't have to. So after 154 days and over 1,000 lbs. lost on the ranch, America votes Amanda into the final spot. Big mistake, America. I wasn't rooting for Liz, but you've already given Amanda her second chance. She was working on thirds. It is really inspiring to see how much weight these people drop, but sometimes when you transform your body, you also transform your face and that's not always a good thing. Abby, the woman who lost her husband and kids in a car accident, was barely recognizable. So was Danny. He looks like an older version of T.R. Knight (formerly Dr. George O'Malley from "Grey's Anatomy". Wild-Eyed Tracey is now Wild-Smile Tracey and favors a diabolical Molly Shannon. SCARY! But it was Rebecca, who remade her makeover into a bad Sandy Duncan. The whole season she whined that she was more than just a pretty face. Well now you're a pretty face with a bad haircut and color. Good thing Rebecca won that at-home prize money. She can spend her first $100 on a new hairstyle.
Shay would've looked better in a dress or skirt. Those pants didn't really do her weight loss any justice. Subway has pledged to follow her for the rest of her weight loss journey, and for every pound she loses between now and May 2010, they will pay her $1,000. Pause it: If I had somebody willing to pay me to lose weight then yes, I would probably get off my tail and run to the gym. But I don't so I will continue to eat my birthday cake until it's all gone.
Danny pulls off the upset, beating out Rudy and Amanda for the $250,000 prize. Here are the final standings by percentage of weight loss:
- Danny: 55.58%
- Rudy: 52.94%
- Rebecca: 49.82%
- Tracey: 47.2%
- Julio: 44.23%
- Antoine: 41.42%
- Abby: 40.49%
- Shay: 36.13%
- Allen: 35.69%
- Daniel: 35.58%
- Sean: 34.91%
- Amanda: 34.8% (I'm not absolutely sure since they didn't say it out loud.)
- Liz: 34.28%
- Dina: 31.23%
- Alexandra: 29.45%
- Coach Mo: 25.92%
New season of "Biggest Loser: Couples" begins Jan. 5. I like this show, but I liked it a lot more when it was coming on once a year. Commercial break: NBC is saying their new show "Sing-Off" is a cross between "American Idol" and "Glee", two shows that air on FOX. Whoever wrote that promo for NBC should be fired. This is the same network that disinvited the "Glee" cast from the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade because they felt it was giving them too much exposure.
CHANNEL SURFING
- "Tabatha's Salon Takeover" (Bravo, 10:00): Fab Tab finally met her match in Nikki, the owner of Brownes & Co. in Miami, Florida. European Nikki doesn't like how Americans need to be coddled and told how wonderful they are so she inflicts fear and negative feedback on them at every chance she gets. Her staff is so terrified of her, one stylist was afraid to admit she was a mother out of fear Nikki would turn on her. After Tabatha renovates the shop, Nikki rattles off a laundry list of things she doesn't like about the new salon: the paint, the waiting area, the floors. "Nikki is so insufferable that it makes me want to punch her," Tabatha says. Nobody would've blamed you, Tab. I don't typically use ugly words to describe people but I'll just say I'm glad I won't be seeing Nikki next Tuesday. (You know what I'm saying).
- "Teen Mom" (MTV, 10:00): I takes an awful lot of guts to come on TV and air your dirty laundry. (And I'm not talking about that fake stuff on "The Hills".) I'm talking about teen-aged girls who open themselves up to ridicule and judgement for getting pregnant in high school. MTV cranks out a lot of trash, but this is one show that parents should sit down and watch with their children. There's Amber, a girl who is so overwhelmed with anxiety that she's put on medication; Catelynn, who gave her daughter up for adoption but continues to have unprotected sex; young mom Maci who is supposedly engaged, but fails to set a wedding date; and then there's Farrah, Miss "I-Got-Pregnant-or-Whatever", wannabe model who seems to think life doesn't stop just because you're a teen mother. No Farrah, life doesn't stop, but yours should be coming up on a 'yield' sign at any minute now. Driving 2 hours to confront a boy about cheating on you (whom you've only been dating for 3 weeks) proves she has no clue about the importance of motherhood. Those are precious hours of her baby's life that she will never get back. This is one time I'll swallow that bitter pill and say, "Mother knows best." Put down the mirror, Farrah and pay attention.
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