Sweet and sauerkraut

I took Sunday off and coincidentally, it fell on Oscar night. I want to make something perfectly clear: I do not give a flying monkey about the Academy Awards. Emmys? Yes! Oscars? NO! I rarely go see movies and the ones I do see are hardly ever nominated ("The Hangover" anyone?) I will admit that I did see "The Blind Side" three times - in the theater! And it was worth the $10 every time! Here's a quick recap of ...

"The Amazing Race" (CBS, 8:00): What started out as a slightly dull leg quickly turned into a hilarious night of hijinks as teams gobbled sauerkraut, guzzled beer and belched their way through Hamburg, Germany.

Teams say goodbye to Argentina and fly 8,000 miles to Frankfurt, Germany. They must then take a train to Hamburg for the next clue. After a rocky last leg, the Sexy Lezzies agree that the word for the day is "respectful". Team 8 Seconds and the Defective Detectives (Louie and Michael, left) are able to catch the first train while the Lezzies and Don't Ask, Won't Tell miss it by mere seconds. They end up on a later train with the rest of the teams.

At the Roadblock, the teams encounter an Intersection - two people from different teams must partner up to complete the task - a 150-foot tandum bungee jumping. 8 Seconds and Defective Detectives send Michael and Jet, who refuses to take his hat off during the plunge. "A real cowboy's hat never comes off," he reasons. Pause it: Well, Jet must be a Stetson man because that hat stayed glued like weave on a black woman. They breeze through the challenge and go their separate ways. Asian Persuasion pairs with Team No Name (father/daughter Steve and Allie), while the Lezzies get with the other gay. Jokes Dan, "She's (Carol) is like the lesbian aunt I never had. Showmance is forced to team up with Fred and Velma, as they are the last two teams to the clue box.

At the Detour, teams had a choice between soccer or sauerkraut - hit five targets from the penalty line or shovel down a plate of kraut before a band finishes playing the sauerkraut polka. Defective Detectives opt for the sauerkraut, but most of the teams head to the soccer field. Asian Persuasion's Joe has a bum knee which he tweaked during the bungee jump. They quickly give up and head for the sauerkraut. Team No Name killed at soccer and get out of there just as 8 Seconds shows up. Pause it: Who knew two cowboys would be so good at soccer? Not only are they llama whisperers, but they can now bend it like Beckham.

Team Showmance (Jeff and Jordan, left) pick the kraut challenge, but get stuck with a cab driver who leads them to the end of the earth after typing an incorrect address into his navigation system. Now in last place, Jordan say, “We should’ve just done the soccer thing.” Jeff's reply: “What do you mean, this guy would’ve typed it in his GPS; we would’ve ended up in Switzerland.” They finally get to the Detour, but aren't able to eat the pickled cabbage fast enough. Jeff says, "See you later, sauerkraut" and they head over to the soccer field.

At the second half of the Detour, the teams are made to drink a glass boot full of beer at the Haifisch Bar. Most of the teams were excited to get a drink but once they took a swing they all realize that it wasn't their father's beer. Rewind: I'm still laughing at the sound Asian Persuasion's Joe made when he started gagging on the beer. He sounded like a mix between the exorcist and a squealing pig. I watched it at least four times! The Defective Detectives are the first the get through the task and head to the Pit Stop. Going from worst to first, they win a $5,000 Discover gift card. Asian Persuasion and Team No Name take second and third, respectively.

Showmance and Fred and Velma drag up the rear all day and it's a foot race between dumber and dumbest to the Pit Stop. "If we get eliminated, I'm going back to that bar," Jordan says. Fred and Velma ultimately find the Pit Stop first, making Jeff and Jordan the last team to arrive. But like many unworthy teams before them, they get a reprieve as it's a non-elimination leg. Their 15 minutes is extended for another week. Fast Forward: They'll have to overcome a Speed Bump in the next leg if they want to stay in the competition.

Geography lesson: The Pit Stop for this leg of the race was the Indra Club in Hamburg's Red Light District. It's the first place the Beatles played in Hamburg, Germany.