Resa's Rundown

I don't even know where to start. I really have no excuse for not blogging this week other than the fact that my work schedule has changed and I no longer have the time or energy to blog every night. I told myself that if I ever felt like this blog was keeping me from enjoying television then I wouldn't write. I'm not there yet, but sometimes I just want to enjoy mindless entertainment without the pressure of keeping notes. With that being said, I'll try to touch on some highlights from this week.

"Trauma" (NBC, Mon., 9:00): Once again, Nancy goes rogue and performs a risky procedure in the field. But this time it costs a young cheerleader her mobility when she's paralyzed from the neck down. Nancy's mentor and wannabe dad Joe suffers the consequences - he's fired as chief of surgery from the hospital after Nancy's real dad throws him under the bus.

"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, Tues., 8:00): I was so angry when Melissa, left, won her way back into the game last week, but I couldn't have been any more happy when she got her comeuppance for the third time! For the challenge, the first person to lose 2 percent of their body fat wins immunity. Melissa, the smallest player in the game, only needs to lose 4 lbs to win. But if they push the button to weigh in and miss their target, they are out of the competition. Bob warns Melissa not to lose sight of why she's on the ranch, but all she can focus on is game play. Sam ends up winning the challenge, dropping 10 lbs. in 4 days. After the rest of the contestants gang up on her during a swimming challenge, Melissa loses her second chance at immunity, and gets a one-pound disadvantage at the weigh in. She falls below the yellow line with Andrea and in her last ditch effort to stay in the game, tries to persuade them to keep her in the game because they can all beat her. It was a compelling argument but the losers didn't fall for it. They'd rather keep a harmonious house than have her negative, game-play energy infecting the house.

"The Good Wife" (CBS. Tues., 10:00): The show spins a different web as they tell the story from the perspective of the jury when a college student is accused of killing her roommate. I've been called for jury duty, but I've never served. This episode seemed like a very realistic portrayal of what might go down behind the closed doors of a deliberation room. Sadly, the accused girl copped a plea deal - 10 years for manslaughter - right before the jury came back to say she was found not guilty.

"Parenthood" (NBC, Tues., 10:00): The show got off to a slow start, but it's earned a spot on my do-not-miss list. Jason Katims, who serves as producer on one of my favorite shows ("Friday Night Lights") has definitely put his stamp on "Parenthood". It's poignant, it's raw and it's funny. "FNL" alum Minka Kelly guest stars as autistic Max's behavioral aide, Gaby. She's there to help the family cope with his asperger syndrome and mom Kristina feels the sting when Gaby is able to get Max to do things she's never been able to. Kristina's constant worry is also puts a strain on her marriage after she starts faking the big O during sex. Elsewhere, Crosby finally tells his parents that he's the father of a five-year-old boy and Sarah decides to go out with Amber's English teacher. I like this show because the family dynamic is so touching. It's nice to see a family on TV that actually loves and respects one another. If you haven't tuned in, do it soon before NBC pulls the plug on another great drama.

"South Park" (Comedy Central, Wed., 9:00): This had to be one of THE funniest (and true) episodes of all time! This spoof on the Facebook phenomenon has Kyle up in arms after his friends unfriend him because he friends a kid who has no friends. (Did you get that?) The whole thing just reinforces the idea that social networking is more about the networking part than it is about the social aspect. Here's a snippet from the show. The full episode can be viewed by clicking here.



"Ugly Betty" (ABC, Wed., 10:00): It's Hilda's wedding day and Betty finds herself with old flame Henry as her +1 after she drunk dials him during her trip to Paris. He shows up with his kid in tow and announces that he's moving back to New York just as Betty is offered a job running her own magazine in Paris. She accepts the position, setting up next week's series finale. Also, Justin comes out of the closet at the wedding reception, and Daniel realizes he has feelings for Betty. It's going to be a sad goodbye. *Single tear falling*

Timing is everything

It was a quick night, thank you Lord! I was three and out, just in time for reruns of "Will & Grace". I loves me some Karen Walker and Jack McFarland. But I digress. Let's discuss ...

"America's Next Top Model" (CW, Wed., 8:00): Tyra has definitely had some questionable model choices over the last 13 cycles, but she really outdid herself this season. There's something about these models that scream "low brow" and I'm not talking about the Groucho Marx eyebrows she let Raina keep after her makeover. The majority of them reek of poor taste while the others blend in with the wallpaper. I throw up my hands and jut out my hip.

It's the girls' first official photo shoot and they are thrown into the deep end right from the jump. They get to pick one item of clothing to model, but they must choose wisely because the rest of their body will be nude. Pause it: Those are accessories honey, not clothes. And ain't no bracelet big enough, no scarf long enough to cover up the hot messes that some of these models are.

My favorite girl so far, Gabrielle (right) opted for a pair of sequined leggings. She is uber cocky but I love her look. She looks like she could be in one of those posters I see when I walk past Abercrombie and Fitch or American Eagle. I like that she's so sure of herself, but in the world of reality competition shows, that's means she'll be on the chopping block.

The models were hoping that Angelea would choke, but she pulled off a fierce picture while modeling nothing put a pair of heels. My other favorite, country bumpkin Jessica, opted for a pair of shorts but was too worried about her granny seeing the pictures. Pause it: Get over it Jessie. You're on "Top Model" not "The 700 Club". My least favorite and most annoying girl, Alasia, was a train wreck, modeling a vest that she decided to wear backwards to cover her chest. Her pictures would've been much better had she just covered her face with it.

On the judging panel, Vogue editor-at-large Andre Leon Talley takes over for the flaming and flamboyant Miss J. Alexander, and Sally Hershberger, who did the girls' makeovers, is the guest judge. That Andre definitely adds something to the panel, although I'm not quite sure I like what he's serving up. He may be a little to sophisticated for the girls on this cycle with all of his French words and such. I had a hard time keeping up. And what was with all the blurring of the photos? On Ren's picture, all I could stare at was the big, pixelated blog on her thigh.I maybe mistaken, but I'm fairly certain that the va-jay-jay does not sit on the hip bone. What was up with that, Tyra?

My worst fears came true when Gabrielle and Alasia end up in the bottom two. I knew the judges were going to keep that annoying wench Alasia because Andre gave her lame photo a positive review while the other judges laughed at it. I hate the Gabrielle went so early. I think she definitely had potential to go all the way. *Shaking my fists at Mr. Talley*

In the second half of this overinflated episode, the girls practice their runway walks with "runway coach extraordinaire" Miss J. He tries to teach them that timing is everything by having them walk across a busy New York intersection while removing their coats.

For their first runway challenge, the girls get to model clothes for designer Rachel Roy. The model with the best walk gets to keep the garment she wears down the catwalk. The twist is that there will be two pendulums swinging at them from both directions. Good luck, ladies. Overconfident Alexandra, who by now has told us a million times that she's a perfectionist, falls not once, but twice on her turn down the runway. A few other girls are hit by the pendulum, but Alex is the only one who is actually thrown off the stage. Ginger-haired Brenda wins the challenge.

At the next photo shoot, the models pose for a beauty shot. Pause it: Well, as beautiful as you can be with water and wind being thrown in your face in 40 degree New York weather. This time it's Naduah's (above, left) turn to be cocky, saying that she's done so much modeling that she has this one in the bag. But at panel, it's Raina's photo that the judges fawn over while Naduah and Ren end up in the bottom two. Ren is saved even though she doesn't really want to be there, and Naduah is no longer in the running towards being America's Next Top Model. Good riddance to that boasting b*&#h.

"South Park" (Comedy Central, Wed. 10:00): With a subject matter like Tiger Woods and an episode titled "Sexual Healing", you have to expect some naughty innuendo. But leave it to Trey Parker and Matt Stone to find a way to make Tiger's infidelity society's fault because we "dangled the carrot". Pause it: I would beg to differ and say it was Tiger who was dangling the carrot, but this is a family blog.

In true "South Park" fashion, the writers treat sex addiction like it's an STD that the Center for Disease Control can handle. There's an "outbreak" of it among famous, wealthy men. They are the only ones who can catch it because "regular men just don't think of sex that often". Yeah right! And I'm sure they daydream about unicorns and rainbows!

The CDC decides to test the elementary school to see if any of the children are suffering from sex addiction. They flash an erotic photo in front of them then ask what color scarf the lady was holding. WOW! Poor Butters is mesmerized by the ... eh ehm, female nether region, making him test positive for sex addiction along with Kenny and Kyle. They enter "rehab" where they learn the cure for their disease is to avoid getting caught.

I laughed out loud for most of the show, but it's always the commentary that really cuts like a double-edged sword. On the one hand you've got Tiger Woods, who had no business doing what he did when he's got a wife at home. But on the other hand, what did people expect? He's still a man with a dangling carrot.

CHANNEL SURFING

• "Ugly Betty" (ABC, Wed., 10:00): As the show nears it's final episodes, the writers are going all out to tie up the loose ends. Hilda is engaged, Betty is undergoing a rapid transformation, and Justin ... well, Justin had his first kiss tonight - from a girl AND a boy! The writers are still being very ambiguous about his sexuality and I love that we know, but we really don't know. Know what I mean? And how much is the Watch Party going to miss the comedic duo that is Marc and Amanda? While on their way to the hospital to visit an ailing Willy, her doctor stops them on the street and warns the two about bringing her more work. "What are we supposed to do? Kill her?" Amanda asks. "Can't. She'll only grow stronger," Marc replies. Hi-larious!
  

After these messages: Surely I can't be the only one who has seen advertisements for schoolinpjs.com. Really? School in PJs? How does that look on a resume? Can you really get a job at Microsoft with that degree? "Yes, Mr. Gates, I'm qualified. I got my degree online through schoolinpjs.com." It makes the University of Phoenix look like Harvard Law School.

Healthy competition

The running theme tonight was competition, and I know if I were on any of these shows I would have to pack my knives and be out of the running for New Directions. Let's get to it!

"Glee" (FOX, 9:00): It's more mash-ups as Emma and Ken solicit the glee club to come up with a wedding song. She wants something elegant and traditional while he wants the Thong Song. Mr. Schue struggled to get the tunes to work together and that seemed to be the undercurrent of the show: things not mashing up. You've got football vs. glee, Puck and Rachel, Emma and Ken. A lot of matches made in high school hell. After growing tired of "slushy facials", Finn chooses football over glee club, but returns after a pep talk from Mr. Schue.

I find it very heartwarming the way the "gleeks" stand up for one another. Even though they aren't part of the popular circles, they've carved out quite a niche for themselves. And who knew that Mr. Schue was such a dancer. He has a very Justin Timberlake quality about him ... surprisingly talented but kind of a dork. What do you think of a Rachel/Puck pairing? Could they be the Bobby and Whitney of "Glee"?

Overheard

• Quinn, whining about no longer being popular: "Status is like currency - when your bank account is full you can get away with doing just about anything."
• Kurt, after taking a "slushy facial" for the team: "Someone get me to a day spa, stat!" Then the camera pans to him marching into the girls' bathroom.
• A heartbroken Coach Sue taking her anger out on Mr. Schue: "... And if it's one minute late, i will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark cold night, I will steal away into your home and punch you in the face."
• Kurt with more insight on slushies: "You know why they call them 'slushies' don't you? Because your butt looks like one if you have too many of them."

Featured songs
Bust a Move - Young MC
Thong Song - Sisqo
Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond
I Could Have Danced All Night - from "My Fair Lady"
What a Girl Wants - Christina Aguilera

"Top Chef: Las Vegas" (Bravo, 10:00): For the high-stakes quickfire challenge, the chefs are in a tag team cook-off. Seattle chef Rocky Robin is picked last and she says it's because she's a mom. I think it's because she's a bad cook. As usual, she's on the losing team.

Finally, it's Restaurant Wars! This is my favorite time on "Top Chef" because it really exposes who knows what they are doing and who shouldn't be allowed in a kitchen. The brothers end up on the same team and I haven't seen so much discord between family members since Cain and Abel. Pause it: I really wish the Voltaggio brothers would simmer down. Someone needs to turn the heat down on their fire. I'm tired of watching their rivalry.

Here's my scorecard:
Names: Revolt and The Mission. I don't know who in their right mind would eat at a restaurant called Revolt. That's not a visual I want with my food. Score one for The Mission.
Menu: Mission served practically all meat dishes with no dessert. For Revolt, Robin finally gets something right with her pear dish, as it was a favorite among the judges. At least we know she can make something. Point for Revolt.
Service: Both teams were lacking in front-house service, but Laurine was totally overwhelmed and even forgot to explain the dishes to the patrons. Over at Revolt, Eli came off as confident and chatty and the judges loved his enthusiasm. Match point goes to Revolt.

Laurine was told to pack her knives and I agreed with their decision. But how bad would it suck to lose a cooking show for being a bad hostess and not your cooking abilities. Do you think Laurine should've went home? Are you revolting the Voltaggio brothers?

CHANNEL SURFING
Every time I see the opening of "America's Next Top Model" (CW) I keep wishing Bianca was still in the competition. She had the most striking face and it would've been nice to see a girl with a shaved head win. The models tackle interviews and it's a good thing they are cute (most of them) because speaking is not their forte. Erin gets a big head after winning the challenge then falls apart during her commercial. Laura reveals she's dyslexic and even though the girl with the most face time usually goes home, she manages to stay another week and Rae was out of the running for becoming America's Next Top Model. I wanted Erin to go, but she does take killer photos with that alien makeoverTyra gave her. Who is your model favorite?

On MTV's "Real World/Road Rules Challenge", Walla Walla whack job Tonya gets sent home after smacking Veronica across the face with a backhand that I've only seen give on soap operas and by Rick James. Tonya had about five too many, but it was Veronica who refused to walk away from a volatile situation. I'm not saying she deserved to be hit ... maybe just shaken a little. Challenge veteran Katie was sent packing after losing to rookie Sarah in the Ruins, and Danny lost to Darrell. At least no bodily fluids were exchanged. It's the small things.

"South Park" (Comedy Central) manages to equate wrestling with acting in a Greek tragedy in an episode aptly titled "W.T.F" (Wrestling Takedown Federation). After the kids see a WWE wrestling match, they decide to join a team, but when the coach tries to show them proper techniques they think he's gay and into child porn. The boys start W.T.F. which eventually turns into elaborate theater complete with wine, intermission and playbills. "South Park" continues to be one of the smartest shows on TV, no matter how immature. To take something as silly as WWE wrestling and turn it into a theatrical production ... that's genius at work.