Great expectations

I had Thursday off so I actually got the chance to watch a lot of my favorite shows live. A rare treat for someone who watches 60% of my TV shows via the internet. Here's a recap:

"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): The Villains have absolutely no clue who they are up against when dealing with Russell Hantz. It's unfortunate for that tribe that they didn't get to see his game play before they started filming this season. Otherwise, he would've been gone the first time the Villains were sent to Tribal Council. His desire to be the ultimate survivor has put his team in a hole they may not be able to dig themselves out of. He's controlling every move they make. And judging by the Heroes' assumption that B-Rob's demise was from an all-girl alliance, I'd say Russell is controlling that tribe as well.

The morning after Tribal Council, Danielle and Parvati are laughing about B-Rob's ouster. "I like blindsiding people," Danielle jokes. Jerri seems to be having a change of heart about her decision and Coach is still pissed that he's been forced into an alliance with Russell. "Are we going to the final five with him?" he asks Jerri. "Let's just see what happens," she says.

Over at the Heroes' camp, J.T. can't put off looking for the hidden immunity idol so he steals away to try to find it for himself. So much for keeping tribe unity and using it for the benefit of the group. He finds it and hastily tries to scamper out of the woods, but he ends up being spotted by Amanda and Candice. Pause it: Amanda is like a little kid who prevents you from hiding the Christmas presents in a good place. She's always around, always snooping, always listening in. "Good thing you walked up," Candice tells her.

The Villains are hoping for a merge when they get the clue to the next challenge, so they pack up their whole camp just in case Probst announces they are now one tribe. Pause it: When I say pack up the camp, I mean they PACK UP THE CAMP! They take down their shelter, grab the tackle box and the chickens and trot to the reward challenge looking like they just left Tent City. When the Heroes get their first look at the new Villains' tribe, Rupert (incorrectly) assumes that B-Rob's departure was at the hands of an all-female alliance. Russell gives J.T. a sad, puppy dog face and mouths the words "Help me", laying the groundwork for the Hero men to think he's running scared. The Villains think they'll be enjoying a pizza feast in celebration of a merge, Probst tells them to "drop their expectations" and get ready for the challenge: bowling, "Survivor" style.

Two Villains must sit out of the challenge and Coach yells for Sandra, right, and Courtney. "I want to eat," he reasons for sitting out what he deems as the two weakest players. Heroes jump out to an early lead after J.T. knocks down 6 pins. The Villains are on a (gutter ball) roll, but finally manage to get on the board. With the score at 2-1, Coach goes up against Amanda, whose roll gives the Heroes their third-straight win. And not only do the Villains lose, but they also have to return to a broken down camp with no food. OUCH!

As the Heroes much on pizza and beer, they label themselves the "Fantastic 5". J.T. (again, incorrectly) surmises that Coach and Russell are sitting ducks on the Villains' tribe. Little do they know that Russell is pulling strings all over Samoa. The Villains are angry at Coach for making Sandra and Courtney sit out. Jerri says they need their strongest players in the game for the immunity challenge, and sitting out the weakest for the chance to score some food will be their downfall. Sandra quickly points out that it was Coach's decision, and they should be pointing fingers at him for the loss, not Courtney and her.

When they get a chance to talk alone, Sandra devises a plan to eliminate Coach. She tells Courtney that they should plant a seed of doubt in Russell that Coach is gunning for him. Sandra says that everyone is playing Russell's version of "Survivor" instead of playing the actual game. Pause it: And she's right. Russell has manipulated this game so much that they should change the name to "Surviving Russell". I rooted for him last season, but his arrogance this time around is more bitch than bully and I can't wait to see him go down.

At the immunity challenge, the teams are belted into pairs and must run an obstacle course in the mud. Basically, it's another way for the girls to lose their swimsuits. Amanda and Candice pair up against Russell and Sandra, and the girls smoke Russell's co-ed team. They don't even finish the course after Sandra can't squeeze herself underneath one of the fences. Coach takes down Rupert in a foot race during the second round, and in the final go, skinny minis Courtney and Parvati prove to be no match for the brawn of Colby and J.T. Heroes win immunity and Courtney hurts her ankle.

Russell is sure his alliance is getting rid of Coach. It looks like Sandra's plan to throw him under Russell's bus may be working until Danielle suggests they keep him around for challenges and dump the weaker Courtney instead. Unhappy that one of his minions would go against him, Russell storms off after Danielle tries to persuade him to rethink his vote. He says he sends home who he wants to send home.

At Tribal Council, it seems as if Coach is unaware that he's on the chopping block, bragging that he encourages the tribe when they are down. Probst points out that Courtney has been made to sit out for a number of the challenges but she counters with "I'm a determined little bitch, and I'll put up with a lot of crap to get to the end."

Coach is voted out, and SURPRISE! He's the first member of the jury. Pause it: Now that's an interesting little twist! If they play it this way for the next few episodes - where the tribes remain separate but the jury fills up - it could make for some riveting Tribal Councils. Russell will definitely be sitting pretty once the Heroes see he's the only guy left. And judging from next week's preview, the Heroes are poised to make the most bone-headed decision in the history of "Survivor": giving Russell their immunity idol. If the girls could smarten up, now would be the time to put that all-female alliance into play and pick off the 4 remaining men one by one. I'm banking on Parvati or Sandra to steer that ship.

CHANNEL SURFING

• "16 & Pregnant" (MTV, Tues., 10:00): 17-year-old senior Leah, a popular high-school cheerleader, gets pregnant by Corey, her rebound guy after breaking up with her boyfriend of two and a half years. After Corey drives her home from a party, one thing leads to another which leads to them having sex in his truck, which ultimately leads to her getting pregnant with twin girls. That's TWO babies. At 17. Two. Leah and Corey try to give it a go, but in the end she ends up alone after constantly picking fights with Corey. She's left taking care of the babies and he moves back in with his parents. Talk about someone regretting their decision. In her closing video, Leah sums it up by saying her life is essentially not worth living because she made a stupid mistake. Hindsight is 20/20 ... and expensive.
  
• "Project Runway" (Lifetime, Thurs., 10:00): It's the final challenge that determines who will move on to Fashion Week and the designers must create a look inspired by the circus. Emilio, who's on a three-win high, has let his ego get the better of him and he's starting to look like a complete ass. Nevertheless, he earns a place in the final three along with Seth Aaron. Mila and Jay are forced into a tie-breaker and both designers will have to design a collection, but only one will show at Fashion Week. But we all know that's not true because 10 "Project Runway" designers got the chance to show at Bryant Park. But we won't go into that again.

Closing credits: Here's one last funny line from the twice-eliminated Anthony. After Tim Gunn questions his choice of color, Anthony says, "I thought all I needed to prepare for this show was my design books, but I'm gonna get me a dictionary just as soon as I get back to Georgia."
One last rant: Oprah, I appreciate your quest to make cars a "no phone zone," but putting people on the spot to sign your contract is like asking Whitney Houston to sing when she's fresh out of rehab: some people just aren't ready.

Taking responsibility

I have spent the last 2 days doing absolutely nothing. NOTHING! It was my first real "weekend" in months. No volunteering at the school. No errands to run during the day. Just me sitting in bed until 1 p.m., going to the gym, then getting back in bed and sleeping until primetime TV starts. Here's a quick recap of Tuesday night ... and a few leftovers from Sunday and Monday.

"16 & Pregnant" (MTV, 10:00): Wow! The parents on this episode were as much to blame as the kids for this pregnancy and the focus is more about the baby daddy than the mother-to-be. Sixteen-year-old Nicole and her high-school dropout boyfriend Tyler are expecting a baby girl. He has a rocky relationship with his mom so he splits his time living at his grandma's and Nicole's house. Tyler was expelled from school when he was 13 and he's the type of guy who thinks he can make a career out of anything. Pause it: Really Tyler? A skateboarder? A mixed-martial artist? That's probably all he can be since he dropped out of school at 13. Dude, can you even read? Tyler promises he'll get his GED once the baby is born.

Nicole's friends have a hard time understanding why her mom is so supportive of her pregnancy. She reveals that she had another daughter die immediately after being born. Then her husband dies a year later when Nicole was only 2 years old. Pause it: Sounds like mom has some issues she needs to work out on the short couch. It's one thing to be supportive. It's another to try to use your pregnant teenager's baby to replace the one you lost.

At 7 months, Nicole starts having pains in her stomach - the night before her baby shower. She's rushed to the hospital and they give her drugs to stop her from going into early labor. They are released from the hospital just in time for the shower, where Tyler's estranged mom decides to show her face. She grumbles about the struggles she had after having Tyler at 17. She wanted him to be more responsible than she was. Pause it: Maybe if she wouldn't have kicked him out at 13, she could've taught him some of that responsibility she's talking about.

As Nicole's due date approaches, she tries to jump start her labor by using crazy home remedies: drinking castor oil, eating weird foods, and my personal fave - recklessly driving over speed bumps. She eventually goes into labor after Tyler suggests a game of pool would get the baby moving. Almost fourteen hours later, Nicole gives birth to 9 lb., 6 oz. Brooklyn Marie. The couple spends the first few months shuttling the baby between houses. Everytime they would wear out their welcome at one house they would move on to the next. Tyler's mom finally puts her foot down and tells them it's not good for baby Brooklyn to not have a permanent place to call home. In the end, Tyler's mom helps him get a job and he does go back to get his GED.

Tune in next week as preggers teen Leah prepares to give birth to twins!

CHANNEL SURFING

• "Dancing With the Stars" (ABC, Tues., 8:00): In a shocking turn of events, Shannen Doherty is the first contestant voted off. I say shocking because hobbling, emotionless stick figure Kate Gosselin lives to dance another week and Old Man River astronaut guy is still in it, breathing machine and all. OK, so he's not on a breathing machine, but he's as old as John McCain, and that guy is like, 106. ABC knows where their bread is buttered: They gave the last 30 minutes of Monday's show to Pamela Anderson and Gosselin - guaranteed ratings boosters.
  
• "Lost" (ABC, Tues., 9:00): According to a reliable source, Sayid is a lost cause who is as soulless as my old gym sneakers. Now that the Locke Monster has stolen his innards, Sayid is out of the running to be an island protector. I suspect he'll be one of the major casualties that will start happening in the last few episodes.
• "The Amazing Race" (CBS, Sun., 8:00): Now that Team Showmance is out of the race, I'm pulling for 8 Seconds. Those cowboys gave me a scare this week as they came in last after running around Seychelles. Luckily it was a non-elimination leg and they are still in it. Unfortunately, so are the Sexy Lezzies. Team No Name snag their first win, but they lose their backpacks when they leave them at the Road Block. At least they have their passports and money.
  

It hurts

Late posting again. We can start calling it my Hump Day Hangover. Too bad it's from lack of sleep and not libations. Here's what happened last night:

"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, Tues., 8:00): I know I've said this numerous times, but it annoys me to no end that this show is freakin' 2 hours long!!! It's one of the main reasons why I don't feel like blogging at the end of the night. Pause it: The other reasons range from talking on the phone to my bestie in Dallas to going into a diabetic coma from eating junk food during the show. This is supposed to be a show about weight loss and "Loser" could stand to shed about 60 minutes.

For the reward challenge, the teams go head-to-head in a game of trivia about food and nutrition. The winning team gets a spa day while the losers must clean the kitchen and the gym. Stephanie thinks the Black team has the win on lock since the Blue team is all brawn and no brains. Think again, Steph! The Blue team prevails, leaving the Black team sulking and demoralized. It was pretty ironic that the mostly male Blue team wins a trip to the spa and the women folk are made to clean house.

At the immunity challenge, it's another advantage for the Black team with a cooking competition. The teams must make an appetizer, an entree and a dessert using only 12 ingredients in 30 minutes. Celebrity chef Curtis Stone is the guest judge. Pause it: OK, last week the show stole a page out of the "Survivor" playbook. This week it's "Top Chef". Copycat much? The winning team gets a five-pound advantage at the next weigh-in. The Black team is off to a great start with a low-calorie shrimp ceviche, but their salmon with a side of wild rice entree is over 500 calories compared to the Blue's 290 overcooked pork tenderloin. The Black team wins and has some newfound confidence going into the last-chance workout.

At the weigh-in, the Black team loses a combined total of 30 pounds, but Stephanie and Sherry both put up small numbers. The Blue team drops nine after nine on the scale, and Mike - who left the ranch to tend to his ailing grandmother - loses 11 pounds while traveling. He's lost 126 pounds in his nine weeks on the ranch. It's another hit for the Black team as Blue smashes their hopes of a win. They send Sherry home, breaking up the last mother/kid team on campus.

Plug of the night: Milk - it does a body good and apparently, it's profitable for NBC. Go figure.

Last chance rant: Does anyone know where Jillian got her psychology degree? I mean, she's counseling these contestants like she's Dr. Phil or something. And we all know he's, like, a real doctor.

"16 & Pregnant" (MTV, Tues., 10:00): This episode should've been called "16 & Forced Into an Unwanted Choice". I felt so bad for Lori, an adopted teen whose parents want her to give her baby up for adoption. Pause it: I spent the first 15 minutes of the show laughing at the fact that Lori attends an all-girls Catholic school and winds up in the family way. I kept picturing a pregnant nun. But after watching Lori's mom hound her about giving her child away, I really just wanted to give her a hug. Mom wouldn't even let Lori's friends throw her a baby shower telling her, "I just don't see anything to celebrate." She goes on to say that bringing a baby into the house would be a mistake. Being an adopted child, Lori wants to keep her baby because she doesn't have any biological ties of her own.

Cory, Lori's ex-boyfriend and baby daddy, offers to let her move in with him and his (female) roommate. Unfortunately, Cory fails to ask his roommate if she was OK with having a newborn baby living in the next room. With no where else to turn, Lori decides that an open adoption is her only option.

I know that having a baby as a teen is not ideal, but having a mom forcing you into a decision like that is tough. I'm sure mom thought she was doing the right thing for both Lori and the baby, but a little support would've been nice. The episode wasn't as gut-wrenching as last season's emotional goodbye between Catelyn, Tyler and baby Carly, but it was still hard to watch.

CHANNEL SURFING

• "Lost" (ABC, Tues., 9:00): In Sawyer's flash sideways, he's a detective for the LAPD and Miles is his partner. Talk about a parallel universe ... going from a con man to a cop.
• On "The Good Wife" (CBS, Tues., 10:00), Peter uses a black clergy to reach out to the African American community after his poll numbers dip among the sistas. Later, Alicia finds him praying with a reverend in his bedroom. At least he was doing something holy in there for a change.

Ghetto fab

I was so not in the mood to blog Tuesday night, even though I sat through 4 hours of TV and took a fair amount of notes. Sometimes I miss watching TV for TV's sake - just curling up on the couch and mindlessly watching a show without worrying about missing a pivotal plot point. But the Watch Party must go on, even when the host just wants to take a break. Here's a quick recap for the last 2 days.

"America's Next Top Model" (CW, Wed., 8:00): I don't know if I have the words to describe the ghetto-fabulousness of the girls that will grace the catwalk of Cycle 14. Loud, annoying, brash and did I say annoying? Pause it: At least Cycle 12 reject Angelea was intelligent enough to describe herself as "classy ghetto". Miss J goes on to say that one of the girls' runway walk looks "like you gon' whoop somebody's ass!"

The 33 girls are whacked down to 20, but before announcing the lucky ladies who will compete for the title, Tyra informs them that they are only picking 12 and a 13th girl would be waiting for them in New York. You've got your standard doe-eyed girl from Arkansas (Jessica), two biracial girls (Angelea and Gabrielle) and two hot-tempered chocolate girls (Krista and Alasia) who reinforce the idea that black women are always angry. Oh, and let's not forget the girl who was born into a cult (Naduah) who, I'm sure, Tyra will find a way to exploit her sob story in at least three episodes. The other girls include a plus-size model (Alexandra), a black white girl (Simone) and a girl with eyebrows as thick as my carpet (Enslee). The girls get makeovers and their first official photo will be a nude one. To be continued ...

Ripping the runway: The most annoying thing about this show is all the screaming. Screaming when Tyra enters a room. Screaming when the models get a new task. Screaming when "Tyra Mail" arrives. It's like watching a horror movie that has no real horror.

"16 and Pregnant" (MTV, Tues., 10:00): Another week, another deadbeat baby daddy. This week we have Adam, a real winner who not only values his car more than fatherhood, but also calls the mother of his child a "stretch-marked bitch". Pause it: Taking trophy from Nikkole's boyfriend Josh and handing it to Adam.

Chelsea, a popular high-school senior, got pregnant at the end of her junior year and is starting the school year near full term. She so big she can't fit in her desk and has to sit on an exercise ball in class. Chelsea ends up going into labor five weeks early and gives birth to a girl named Aubree Skye. The doctors are worried that the baby has a premature immune system, but don't want to scare the young mom. Little Aubree does have respiratory problems along with a case of jaundice. Adam persuades Chelsea to give the baby his last name, but only sees the baby twice during her first eight days of life. Pause it: I don't know if you can even count that last one as a "visit". He leaves the baby to go work on his car.

Weeks go by and still no word from Adam. When he finally shows up, he's more concerned about going drag racing than worrying about his child's medical issues. Rewind: Is it just me or did anyone else feel like Chelsea just wanted Adam to notice how big her breasts were when she started feeding the baby in front of him? Adam's preoccupation with his car makes Chelsea wonder if she can raise the baby without him. Newsflash honey: You're already doing it without him!

After Adam sends Chelsea a text message telling her to "tell me when and where to sign over the papers for that mistake," she immediately heads to a lawyer where she has the baby's last name changed to her own. At 12 weeks old, deadbeat daddy is out of Aubree's life and Chelsea is heading back to school. At least she was smart enough change her daughter's last name. Now all she needs to do is slap that prick with child support payments and we can call it a day.

"Lost" (ABC, Tues., 9:00): In his flash sideways, Ben Linus is a high-school history teacher at the same school where John Locke is a substitute teacher. Alex is an adoring student instead of his daughter and Ben has aspirations of being the principal. On the island, when Ben was digging his own grave (literally), the camera cut to a book called "The Chosen". A quick Wikipedia search gave me this:

"The Chosen" tells the story of the friendship between two Jewish boys growing up in 1940's Brooklyn.One has a mind for mathematics and wants to become a rabbi while the other is a genius son of a Hasidiac Rabbi who expects him to eventually take over his position.

I'm sure this somehow ties into the whole theory that someone is about to be chosen to lead the island. Does being good at math give Ben Linus the edge? Talk amongst yourselves.

Oh, there was a really funny line from the show. When Ben offered Miles millions of dollars to help him, Miles responds with "What are you gonna do? Write me a check on this banana leaf?"

Stacked, and not in a good way

I totally fell asleep during "American Idol" which led to me missing most of "Lost," so I have no comment on the show yet. I'll have to watch it later online. Here's a rundown of Tuesday night:

"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, 8:00): Previously on "Loser", the Orange team's Cheryl and Darrell from the Black team fell below the yellow line and had to fight to stay in the game by winning an elimination challenge. After nine minutes of balancing a torch on their heads, Darrell loses his balance and is sent packing. Now it's an individual game as the teams go Blue vs. Black.

The winner of the dreaded temptation challenge gets to pick the teams and choose the trainers. They also get to assign immunity to themselves or another contestant. Only two people step up to play - Andrea, the remaining Black team member and Michael, left, the last member of the White team. The challenge is a memory game where the participants are looking for the matching squares holding the golden "Choose Teams" ticket. Other squares hold delectable sweets and fruit. For every match they miss, they must eat a 100-calorie cookie. If they find two matching food items, the challenger has to eat it. Pause it: I love me some dessert, especially ice cream slathered on top of chocolate cake. But to be forced to eat sweets like that after munching on lettuce and Extra sugar-free gum for seven weeks, I'd be hurling into the nearest bucket.

Andrea is on a roll finding matches for a blueberry muffin (360 cal.), a pretzel (340 cal.) and a fruit pie (480 cal.). Michael looks damn near purple in the face by the time he's made to choke down a 160-calorie glazed doughnut. Andrea finally finds a golden ticket, but can't find the match. By this time, Michael has consumed over 2300 calories, but luckily he finds the other ticket and wins the challenge. He divides the teams into weak vs. strong, stacking trainer Bob's Blue team with mostly men and giving Jillian the players who put up smaller numbers. Koli is the only male on the underdog Black team. But in a surprise move, Michael gives immunity to O'Neal. It's a smart move, but very calculated: O'Neal will be assigned to the team that loses the weigh-in. He'll either join his daughter's strong team or be forced to join the weaker Black one. Rewind: I've been waiting for a moment like this, where someone finally plays this game like it's a game. It was mean for Mike to stack the Blue team the way he did, but I wouldn't call it a bad move.

At the weigh-in, Michael beats Rudy's record for the fastest to lose 100 lbs. on the ranch after he drops 15 lbs. It looks like Blue is going to run circles around Black until Lance and Miggy don't pull their weight. Pause it: Miggy is on the wrong reality show. She's more of a "Dr. Drew" slash "Intervention" type of gal. It would serve her well to find a show that could help her with those anger-management issues. Her fits of rage scare me. The Black team needs to lose more than six pounds apiece to win. They get off to a rocky start but Ashley drops 10 lbs, giving them the last push to beat the Blue. Pause it: So much for Mike's plan not being a bad move. Win some, lose some ... sucks that they lost the one that counts.

With Michael losing the most weight for his team, he wins immunity and the vote comes down to Miggy and Lance, who had the lowest percentages of weight loss. Miggy is voted out and surprisingly, exits quietly.

Plug of the night: Jillian forces the Black team to snack on LaraBars, a gluten-free energy bar.

"16 and Pregnant" (MTV, 10:00):15-year-old Valerie is an adopted teen from Pennsylvania. The ninth grader is pregnant with a baby girl by Matt, a guy with a shoddy employment record (and bad beatboxing skills). Valerie used to skip school to spend the day with Matt and in doing so, got suspended from high school for truancy. Mom Janice forces her to be home schooled, much to Valerie's dismay.

We could talk about how big of a jerk Matt is or how much support Val's parents, who have 10 adopted kids, give her. But the real story lies in her complicated birth. Valerie's due date comes and goes and she delivers baby girl Nevaeh (heaven spelled backwards) a week late. By this time the baby has already had a bowel movement and doctors suspect the baby may have ingested her own waste. The baby is airlifted to a bigger hospital when she takes a turn for the worse, but the Nevaeh is fine.

"16 and Pregnant" usually gives us the standard girl-meets-boy, girls-sleeps-with-boy, girl-gets-pregnant story. But this time they added the girl-gives-birth-to-ailing-baby, which is a real situation that most expectant teens don't think about. Not all deliveries are as smooth as they are made out to be on this show and Valerie's story proves that no matter how much the moms think they are ready for the baby, there's nothing that can prepare them for a kid who may have medical issues.

CHANNEL SURFING

• Funniest line of the night was from "The Good Wife" (CBS, 10:00). Peter's "reputation manager" Kya to Eli Gold, the newest member of Peter's team: "What are you doing?" when she sees him unbuttoning his trousers. "Lower my pants so you can kiss my ass."
• The series premiere of "Parenthood" (NBC, 10:00) made me not want kids anytime soon. It also made me really dislike Lauren Graham.
  

We're number 1!

Sometimes I wish I had started a video blog instead of writing. Some shows are just too darn hard to sum up in words. Too bad my face is too round and my t-zone is too shiny to be in front of anyone's camera.

"16 and Pregnant" (MTV, Tues., 10:00): There are plenty of shows among the networks that really bring out the emotion in me. "Friday Night Lights" appeals to the small-town girl in me. "Survivor" pulls out my competitive nature. And "Glee" makes me want to befriend people I probably wouldn't think twice about. But "16 and Pregnant" makes me both angry and sad at these girls who lose their innocence so early, yet refuse to be adults when the time comes. Tonight's episode follows Nikkole, a high-school junior from Michigan whose ex-boyfriend Josh dumped her after she declined having an abortion.

Nikkole says she's lived a pretty charmed life. Her mom buys her anything she wants and she's a self-professed princess. Her mom is shattered when she finds out her only daughter is pregnant, but vows to support her through it, especially since the baby daddy is a total douche. Rewind: Think "Teen Mom's" Ryan, but not as cute and way more annoying. What's more annoying is Nikkole's desire to get back together with Josh, even though she knows he's cheating on her. With his controlling ways, he's the kind of guy that grows up to be a wife beater, and I'm not talking about the little white t-shirts. Josh has a pattern of hurting Nikkole, and her mom has had it with his jerky behavior.

Nikkole got pregnant at the end of the school year, so she spent the summer swelling. By the time the first day of school rolls around, she's already close to her delivery date. Instead of the obligatory first-day-of-school outfit, she opts for a loose-fitting hoodie and a pair of gym shorts so people won't stare. Pause it: People won't be staring because you're pregnant. They'll be staring because you're pregnant and you think a sweatshirt will hide it. FAIL!

For her last hurrah before giving birth, Nikkole goes to the Homecoming dance with her friends, but after getting back together with Josh, she's more excited about meeting up with him afterwards. He's supposed to meet her outside but cut to her standing in an empty parking lot, stood up and let down. She spends the rest of the evening playing Band Hero with her younger brother.

The big day arrives and Nikkole opts for having an induced delivery instead of waiting for labor to progress naturally. Both her doctor and mother warn her that she could be in labor much longer than she expects. After 11 hours go by, Josh (who miraculously shows up for the baby's birth) tells Nikkole that a man's tolerance for pain is a lot higher than a woman's. Pause it: And after 11 hours and 1.2 seconds, I would have given him an elbow to the nose. Tolerate that! Mom is doing her best to keep things calm and civil, but Josh just keeps on nagging. He says he will always be number one in Nikkole's eyes while mom says she's the one whose number one. Seventeen hours, and she's only dilated one centimeter. After 27 hours, she finally gets to push and out pops 8 lbs., 11 oz. baby Lyle. I swear I heard him chanting, "I'm number one!" as he was coming down the birth canal.

When it's all over, Josh is banned from coming over to Nikkole's house and he goes back to his other girlfriend, Kyla. He says he doesn't want a committed relationship, but he doesn't want to cut Nikkole out completely ... just in case. She's left heartbroken once again, but right on cue, mom is there to pick up the pieces.

CHANNEL SURFING

• "American Idol" (FOX, Tues., 8:00) is up to the viewer voting part. There were a lot of questionable song choices. Enough so that I switched over to reruns of "Grey's Anatomy" on Lifetime.
• "Boyz N the Hood" (BET, Wed., 1:00 a.m.) is still one of the most riveting and realistic movies ever made. Not that I know much of anything about being in a gang or growing up in South Central L.A. But what I do know is that it had a great soundtrack.
• After these messages: Good thing longtime football coach Jimmy Johnson is retired. How embarrassing would it be to see your coach on a commercial promoting ExtenZe male-enhancement capsules then having him yell from the sidelines, "Go long!"

Stand and deliver

Today was the first Tuesday in a long time that I had absolutely nothing to do. I was really lazy today and played couch potato for most of the afternoon watching repeats of "The Game" on BET and some movie on the Disney channel called "Jump In" about kids in a double-dutch jump rope competition. Mindless entertainment.

"16 and Pregnant" (MTV, 10:00): I almost feel guilty when I say that I'm glad this show is back because it's like I want to see girls stuck in a pregnant pickle. But the truth is this show is one of the most realistic portrayals of the consequences of unprotected sex. It's the best thing MTV has given us since "The Real World: Las Vegas". Season 2 kicks off with the story of Jenelle, a North Carolina teen whose alcoholic boyfriend is former model turned mooch.

Jenelle and Andrew have been in a long-distance relationship for three years. Mom Barbara hates the guy and lets him know he needs to step up. Andrew has no job, no driver's license and lives with his parents. Pause it: Yes, that is Andrew's picture in the dictionary next to the word 'deadbeat'. Jenelle thinks having a baby isn't going to be that hard. "It's going to be like dressing up a doll everyday." Pause it: And that's Jenelle's picture next to the word 'dunce'. Sure sweetie, your baby will look like a doll ... that pees and poops on cue.

After 12 hours of labor, Jenelle gives birth to a baby boy named Jace. Rewind: 'Jace' was on my short list of possible baby names, you know ... for when I have kids. Gotta find a husband but right now I'll settle for a man who has all his teeth. The two days she spent in the hospital were the first and last times Andrew saw his son. He spent the first week of Jace's life in jail on a DUI charge then decided his feelings for Jenelle had "dropped". She decides the best way to get over him is by hitting the party scene with her friends. Guess who's left cleaning up after baby Jace: that would be grandma Barbara, who is none too happy about being an at-the-ready babysitter.

Jenelle reminds me of Farrah during her "Teen Mom" days. She's woman enough to make a baby but not woman enough to take care of it. But unlike Farrah, Jenelle is more than happy to have her baby dropped off at daycare so she can focus on having a social life. What else is different from Jenelle? When her mom gets pissed, she make Jenelle take her baby out with her! Farrah's mom could've used some of Barbara's brass balls.

CHANNEL SURFING
"American Idol" (FOX, 8:00): Who knew there were so many ways to sing a Jason Mraz song? The judges gave seven wannabe stars a spot in the Top 24. Two of my early favorites, Michael Lynche and Todrick Hall made it through. You'll recall that Michael missed the birth of his first born on group day of Hollywood Week and Todrick performed with Fantasia in "The Color Purple". Unfortunately, Shelby Dressel, the girl with the facial deformity didn't make the cut. But it was Jessica Furney, also a Season 8 reject, who went damn near postal when the judges told her that Season 9 was a no-go as well. "Can you tell me what I did wrong?" she begged. "You didn't sing as well as the others," Simon retorts. Truth hurts.

"Lost" (ABC, 9:00) made my head hurt, but I have a theory about the numbers. Inside the cave, Fake Locke showed Sawyer a wall full of names with corresponding numbers in front - Hurley's unlucky lottery numbers (4-8-15-16-23-42). I think these numbers were the seat numbers for the Oceanic 6, the people who were rescued from the island (Jack, Kate, Sayid, Hurley, Sun and baby Aaron). Sawyer's name wasn't scratched out but he jumped from the helicopter before it crashed, giving Aaron a chance to be rescued. Locke's name wasn't scratched out and he wasn't a member of the Oceanic 6, so could his death be the sacrifice for Kate? Just a theory, but maybe Kate is the secret to the island, not Locke. Did anyone else catch that or am I starting to sound like Locke?

Please, pass the chips ... from your shoulder

First off, let's welcome new follower Cedric to the Watch Party! Yay! When I hit 10 I'll know I've made it. Pull up a chair Ced! No hogging the remote.

"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, Tues., 8:00): I don't know what it is about this show that makes me want to grab a bag of Doritos. Or popcorn. Or pizza. I used to work out during the commercial breaks by doing jumping jacks or fast walking around my living room. Pause it: My downstairs neighbors did not like this. But the heavier the contestants get, the less motivated I am. I say to myself, "Well at least I'm not that big." Sad, but true.

"Loser" checks in on the Blue and Yellow teams ... you remember them don't you? The sad sacks who were sent home before they even got to unpack. The teams are halfway through their 30-day stint at home, both trying to lose weight to come back to the ranch.

Now maybe someone can help me figure this out. People come on this show because they can't lose the weight by themselves at home. Then when they are forced to earn a spot on the ranch, they go home and drop 10, 20, 30 lbs. I'm no gym rat by any means, and only a handful of things annoy me more than people who say they like to workout. But why the motivation now? Is it the money? Being on TV? Screw the ranch! If it were me, I'd find more pride in being able to lose the weight on my own. Pause it: For those of you who are about to jump down my throat, let me say that I do have a gym membership and I work with a personal trainer (Hi Dan!) But it take a HUGE effort to drag out of bed and go to the gym every other day. Hence, the personal trainer. It's all about accountability. Hey, if it affects my wallet, it affects my weight. But enough about my fat rolls ...

The teams were divided into students and teachers. The teachers would workout with Jillian and Bob then would have to share their knowledge with the students. Only the students' weight loss would count at the weigh in. Pink team wins the temptation challenge and gets to determine the student/teacher match-ups. Green team's Migdalia immediately gets angry with being made the teacher because she knew it was her week to shine on the scale. During the workout, she completely shuts down and walks out on Jillian, threatening to quit the show. Pause it: I was never able to really figure out what Migdalia's problem was, but she was extremely annoying. She eventually said Jillian made her angry by calling her out on her parenting skills. I knew she wasn't going anywhere, but kudos to her for finding a way to not finish her workout by throwing a tantrum. (I've done that with my trainer, too except I threaten to vomit then go and lay down on a locker-room bench for 10 minutes. Sorry, Dan! My arms were hurting!)

At the weigh-in, Gray team has immunity and the choice to switch one team's student/teacher pairing. Instead of using White team's Maria's weight, they opted to make Michael's count after watching him piss around in the gym all week and not give 100% in his workouts. Their switch paid off and White team fell below the yellow line. Maria took the bullet and asked players to keep her son - and heaviest contestant ever - in the game.

Looks like more fireworks next week! With a quick push of the pause button I was able to see that Melissa will drop 28 lbs. next week. Do you think the Red Team is throwing the weigh-ins for a big payoff like this? Or was Melissa really not putting in work? I love it when the trainers go all renegade on the losers! Especially Bob!

I'm going to introduce a new segment to "Biggest Loser" recaps. We'll call it "Plug of the Night". With all the product placements, it's anyone's guess how there's not a big Brita logo in the corner of the TV screen instead of NBC's peacock. Tonight's winner is Walgreens. "What am I going to use to ice my knee when I'm at home," wonders John. Hmmm, I don't know ... maybe a pack of ice. Did we really need to know that Walgreens makes little bags with Velcro to put your ice cubes in? I'm just sayin'.

CHANNEL SURFING
Tune in next Tuesday for the season finale of "Teen Mom" (MTV, 10:00) where Tyler will pop the question to Catelynn and Maci makes a decision about her and Ryan's future. MTV is also coming back with a second season of "16 and Pregnant". The show will follow the lives of 10 new girls as they struggle with the reality of teen pregnancy. You won't want to miss it. Premieres February 16.