Ghetto fab

I was so not in the mood to blog Tuesday night, even though I sat through 4 hours of TV and took a fair amount of notes. Sometimes I miss watching TV for TV's sake - just curling up on the couch and mindlessly watching a show without worrying about missing a pivotal plot point. But the Watch Party must go on, even when the host just wants to take a break. Here's a quick recap for the last 2 days.

"America's Next Top Model" (CW, Wed., 8:00): I don't know if I have the words to describe the ghetto-fabulousness of the girls that will grace the catwalk of Cycle 14. Loud, annoying, brash and did I say annoying? Pause it: At least Cycle 12 reject Angelea was intelligent enough to describe herself as "classy ghetto". Miss J goes on to say that one of the girls' runway walk looks "like you gon' whoop somebody's ass!"

The 33 girls are whacked down to 20, but before announcing the lucky ladies who will compete for the title, Tyra informs them that they are only picking 12 and a 13th girl would be waiting for them in New York. You've got your standard doe-eyed girl from Arkansas (Jessica), two biracial girls (Angelea and Gabrielle) and two hot-tempered chocolate girls (Krista and Alasia) who reinforce the idea that black women are always angry. Oh, and let's not forget the girl who was born into a cult (Naduah) who, I'm sure, Tyra will find a way to exploit her sob story in at least three episodes. The other girls include a plus-size model (Alexandra), a black white girl (Simone) and a girl with eyebrows as thick as my carpet (Enslee). The girls get makeovers and their first official photo will be a nude one. To be continued ...

Ripping the runway: The most annoying thing about this show is all the screaming. Screaming when Tyra enters a room. Screaming when the models get a new task. Screaming when "Tyra Mail" arrives. It's like watching a horror movie that has no real horror.

"16 and Pregnant" (MTV, Tues., 10:00): Another week, another deadbeat baby daddy. This week we have Adam, a real winner who not only values his car more than fatherhood, but also calls the mother of his child a "stretch-marked bitch". Pause it: Taking trophy from Nikkole's boyfriend Josh and handing it to Adam.

Chelsea, a popular high-school senior, got pregnant at the end of her junior year and is starting the school year near full term. She so big she can't fit in her desk and has to sit on an exercise ball in class. Chelsea ends up going into labor five weeks early and gives birth to a girl named Aubree Skye. The doctors are worried that the baby has a premature immune system, but don't want to scare the young mom. Little Aubree does have respiratory problems along with a case of jaundice. Adam persuades Chelsea to give the baby his last name, but only sees the baby twice during her first eight days of life. Pause it: I don't know if you can even count that last one as a "visit". He leaves the baby to go work on his car.

Weeks go by and still no word from Adam. When he finally shows up, he's more concerned about going drag racing than worrying about his child's medical issues. Rewind: Is it just me or did anyone else feel like Chelsea just wanted Adam to notice how big her breasts were when she started feeding the baby in front of him? Adam's preoccupation with his car makes Chelsea wonder if she can raise the baby without him. Newsflash honey: You're already doing it without him!

After Adam sends Chelsea a text message telling her to "tell me when and where to sign over the papers for that mistake," she immediately heads to a lawyer where she has the baby's last name changed to her own. At 12 weeks old, deadbeat daddy is out of Aubree's life and Chelsea is heading back to school. At least she was smart enough change her daughter's last name. Now all she needs to do is slap that prick with child support payments and we can call it a day.

"Lost" (ABC, Tues., 9:00): In his flash sideways, Ben Linus is a high-school history teacher at the same school where John Locke is a substitute teacher. Alex is an adoring student instead of his daughter and Ben has aspirations of being the principal. On the island, when Ben was digging his own grave (literally), the camera cut to a book called "The Chosen". A quick Wikipedia search gave me this:

"The Chosen" tells the story of the friendship between two Jewish boys growing up in 1940's Brooklyn.One has a mind for mathematics and wants to become a rabbi while the other is a genius son of a Hasidiac Rabbi who expects him to eventually take over his position.

I'm sure this somehow ties into the whole theory that someone is about to be chosen to lead the island. Does being good at math give Ben Linus the edge? Talk amongst yourselves.

Oh, there was a really funny line from the show. When Ben offered Miles millions of dollars to help him, Miles responds with "What are you gonna do? Write me a check on this banana leaf?"