What are the chances that as I prepare to go on vacation, I start coming down with something? I think my body senses that rest is right around the corner and is ready to start the vacation before it's actually time. Add that to the guilt I'm feeling for not blogging about "The Amazing Race" and you've got yourself a sickly scribe. For those of you who follow the show, it's 8 Seconds, Don't Ask, Won't Tell and Fred and Velma in the finals. The last leg wraps up in San Francisco on Sunday. Here's a quick recap of ...
"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): Last season, I had a love/hate relationship with Russell. In the beginning I hated him, but by the end of the game I loved the way he was able to manipulate people into doing whatever he wanted. This season? Not so much. It's strictly hate/hate. I hate the way he tries to control women. I hate the way he insults anyone with a face. I hate the way he cockily thinks he's running the show when, in reality, it's Parvati who is outwitting circles around him.
After Candice foolishly voted with the Villains at last the Tribal Council, Rupert and Colby return to camp with a plethora of adjectives to describe her. "Colby and I are on a sinking ship," Rupert says. "There are no other Heroes." His nice-cup finally runneth over and he calls Russell out for being a liar and swearing on his kids' life. "Rupert, I'm a Villain ... I'm here to make your life hell," Russell yells.
When the castaways show up for the challenge, Jeff Probst informs them that it's an immunity challenge. Pause it: It looked like some sort of torture device. Our defense department should take note. The players must stand on an uncomfortable perch, holding up one arm which is attached to a bucket full of colored water. Both Rupert and Parv played the game once before, with Parv winning after lasting for six hours. Probst warns them that he'll be tempting them with food items throughout the challenge. After one minute in, he comes out with a covered tray. Both Sandra and Russell immediately agree to step down before he even reveals the item. Luckily for them it was milk and cookies and not some sort of Samoan delicacy or fish eyes or goat's feet. Another 20 minutes goes by and Colby steps down for doughnuts and coffee. One by one they all step down, leaving Rupert and Parvati to battle for immunity. Rupert and his broken toe (and what looks like the same bandage he's been wearing since day one) can't get comfortable on the perch and falls off after an 70 minutes. Parvati wins immunity.
Before the tribe departs, Probst reads a clue to another hidden immunity idol for everyone to hear. Rewind: I wonder if he did that because of the Danielle/Amanda scuffle last week where the rules were blurry about who owns the clue once it's found. When they get back to camp, everyone scatters to find the "burning bush" the clue spoke of. Pause it: How funny was it that Sandra was actually looking for a bush that was consumed by fire. This is Samoa sweetie, not Israel. Sandra does end up finding the idol and smartly stashes it under a rock to go back and read later. Rupert, knowing his time is almost up, decides to pretend he found the idol. He stuffs a rock in his pants pocket and returns to camp.
When Russell sees the bulge in Rupert's pocket (tee hee) he assumes that Rup has found the idol. "I know what a hidden idol looks like," he says. (Apparently it looks like a rock in your pocket). Russell tells his Villains that they must flush out the idol by splitting the votes between Rupert and Colby. They both opt for writing down Candice's name, which is funny because unbeknownst to Russell, Parv and the Pips want to get rid of Candice, too.
At Triba
l Council, Probst probes Candice about her decision to flip to the Villains' side. She reasons that Amanda was next to go no matter how she voted. Colby tells her he's not buying her excuses and wants her to woman up about the real reason she jumped ship. She admits that she did it to advance herself in the game. After the votes are cast, Probst asks if anyone is going to play an idol. Rupert touches his pocket as if he's happy to see it, but alas, he has no idol. After a tight vote, Candice is voted out. Pause it: The Villains rode her hard and hung her up wet. In her parting words, she says, "Karma is a bitch sometimes." No truer words, girl. No truer words.
The castaways return to camp and Russell is furious again. His plan to split the votes was overruled by Parv and now he sees that he's not in control of the game anymore.
"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): Last season, I had a love/hate relationship with Russell. In the beginning I hated him, but by the end of the game I loved the way he was able to manipulate people into doing whatever he wanted. This season? Not so much. It's strictly hate/hate. I hate the way he tries to control women. I hate the way he insults anyone with a face. I hate the way he cockily thinks he's running the show when, in reality, it's Parvati who is outwitting circles around him.After Candice foolishly voted with the Villains at last the Tribal Council, Rupert and Colby return to camp with a plethora of adjectives to describe her. "Colby and I are on a sinking ship," Rupert says. "There are no other Heroes." His nice-cup finally runneth over and he calls Russell out for being a liar and swearing on his kids' life. "Rupert, I'm a Villain ... I'm here to make your life hell," Russell yells.
When the castaways show up for the challenge, Jeff Probst informs them that it's an immunity challenge. Pause it: It looked like some sort of torture device. Our defense department should take note. The players must stand on an uncomfortable perch, holding up one arm which is attached to a bucket full of colored water. Both Rupert and Parv played the game once before, with Parv winning after lasting for six hours. Probst warns them that he'll be tempting them with food items throughout the challenge. After one minute in, he comes out with a covered tray. Both Sandra and Russell immediately agree to step down before he even reveals the item. Luckily for them it was milk and cookies and not some sort of Samoan delicacy or fish eyes or goat's feet. Another 20 minutes goes by and Colby steps down for doughnuts and coffee. One by one they all step down, leaving Rupert and Parvati to battle for immunity. Rupert and his broken toe (and what looks like the same bandage he's been wearing since day one) can't get comfortable on the perch and falls off after an 70 minutes. Parvati wins immunity.
Before the tribe departs, Probst reads a clue to another hidden immunity idol for everyone to hear. Rewind: I wonder if he did that because of the Danielle/Amanda scuffle last week where the rules were blurry about who owns the clue once it's found. When they get back to camp, everyone scatters to find the "burning bush" the clue spoke of. Pause it: How funny was it that Sandra was actually looking for a bush that was consumed by fire. This is Samoa sweetie, not Israel. Sandra does end up finding the idol and smartly stashes it under a rock to go back and read later. Rupert, knowing his time is almost up, decides to pretend he found the idol. He stuffs a rock in his pants pocket and returns to camp.
When Russell sees the bulge in Rupert's pocket (tee hee) he assumes that Rup has found the idol. "I know what a hidden idol looks like," he says. (Apparently it looks like a rock in your pocket). Russell tells his Villains that they must flush out the idol by splitting the votes between Rupert and Colby. They both opt for writing down Candice's name, which is funny because unbeknownst to Russell, Parv and the Pips want to get rid of Candice, too.
At Triba
l Council, Probst probes Candice about her decision to flip to the Villains' side. She reasons that Amanda was next to go no matter how she voted. Colby tells her he's not buying her excuses and wants her to woman up about the real reason she jumped ship. She admits that she did it to advance herself in the game. After the votes are cast, Probst asks if anyone is going to play an idol. Rupert touches his pocket as if he's happy to see it, but alas, he has no idol. After a tight vote, Candice is voted out. Pause it: The Villains rode her hard and hung her up wet. In her parting words, she says, "Karma is a bitch sometimes." No truer words, girl. No truer words.The castaways return to camp and Russell is furious again. His plan to split the votes was overruled by Parv and now he sees that he's not in control of the game anymore.
The second immunity challenge, is a puzzle race course. The first people to finish each round advances to the next one. The first round is a table maze and Rupert quickly finishes. Useless Colby brings up the rear while Sandra, Russell, Parv and Danielle join Rupert in the next round - a climbing wall. The players are given four pegs to use to get up the wall, but Russ practically runs up the almost-vertical spread. He moves ahead with Rupert and Parvati. The final round is a sliding puzzle. It looks like Rupert is about to escape the chopping block, but Russ comes from behind for the win. Dejected, Rupert says, "The lie of a rock in my pocket is not gonna save me tonight."
When the Villains discuss who they want gone, Parvati stresses that Rupert has to go next. She says that they are still five strong and they have plenty of time to worry about turning on each other. Russell, on the other hand, is worried about the weird bisexual current that's flowing between Parv and Danielle. He says it's supposed to be him and Parvati as a team, not her and Danielle. He wants to break up the happy couple and devises a plan to have them turn on each other. He tells each girl that the other wants to take her out of the game. What he didn't anticipate was Parvati challenging his information. She insists on talking to Danielle to get to the bottom of things. "If you do that, you're out of this game," Russ threatens. Parv counters with, "Don't tell me I can't have a conversation with anyone."
Once the girls talk, they realize that Russ's paranoia is getting the better of him. And now that the ladies know he lied, he's determined to eliminate Danielle. Getting rid of her will insure that Parvati will "stick to him like glue." Parv and Dani need Jerri's vote to make sure their plan to vote off Rupert goes down. She promises that she's sticking to the plan. Pause it: I'm at a loss as to why they didn't see this was a sign to blindside Russell.
This time at Tribal, Probst asks Rupert who's running the show. He says it's Parvati and Russell
who are in control of the game. It seems as if that answer stung Danielle a bit and she counters with the Villains make decisions together. Probst continues to needle Danielle about how things are going around camp. She tries to maintain the "one-big-happy-family" facade, but it crumbles when Jerri admits that camp was a little rowdy. Dani suggests it was just a misunderstanding and that everything is fine. Pause it: Did anyone notice how Danielle looked like Parvati's shadow, saying everything that Parv said 2 seconds after she said it. It was like Tribal Council was in Surround Sound. Danielle gets emotionally over Russell's distrust and starts sobbing. "We've been an alliance since the beginning," she cries. She says she's exhausted and the game is taking everything out of her. She then continues to seal her own fate when she reveals that she's closer to Parvati than Russell is. Cut to Parvati shaking her head and Dani's bonehead move. She basically turned her cards over for everyone to see. While Danielle is digging her grave, Russell is preparing her coffin - he whispers to Jerri to write down Dani's name. She complies and just like that, Danielle is done.
Again I have to ask: What is wrong with the castaways this season? I'm certain that Parvati has bathed in some magical potion that makes everyone fall for her charms. Why else would these people keep falling for her the way they do. The way Danielle was sobbing you would think she had some sort of girl crush on Parv. And Russell. Poor Russell. How devastated is he going to be when he loses this game for a second time? So much for that "Dumb ass girl alliance" comment. Like Candice said, karma is a bitch sometimes.
When the Villains discuss who they want gone, Parvati stresses that Rupert has to go next. She says that they are still five strong and they have plenty of time to worry about turning on each other. Russell, on the other hand, is worried about the weird bisexual current that's flowing between Parv and Danielle. He says it's supposed to be him and Parvati as a team, not her and Danielle. He wants to break up the happy couple and devises a plan to have them turn on each other. He tells each girl that the other wants to take her out of the game. What he didn't anticipate was Parvati challenging his information. She insists on talking to Danielle to get to the bottom of things. "If you do that, you're out of this game," Russ threatens. Parv counters with, "Don't tell me I can't have a conversation with anyone."
Once the girls talk, they realize that Russ's paranoia is getting the better of him. And now that the ladies know he lied, he's determined to eliminate Danielle. Getting rid of her will insure that Parvati will "stick to him like glue." Parv and Dani need Jerri's vote to make sure their plan to vote off Rupert goes down. She promises that she's sticking to the plan. Pause it: I'm at a loss as to why they didn't see this was a sign to blindside Russell.
This time at Tribal, Probst asks Rupert who's running the show. He says it's Parvati and Russell
Again I have to ask: What is wrong with the castaways this season? I'm certain that Parvati has bathed in some magical potion that makes everyone fall for her charms. Why else would these people keep falling for her the way they do. The way Danielle was sobbing you would think she had some sort of girl crush on Parv. And Russell. Poor Russell. How devastated is he going to be when he loses this game for a second time? So much for that "Dumb ass girl alliance" comment. Like Candice said, karma is a bitch sometimes.
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