I'm embarrassed for you

It seems as if my this has turned into a "Survivor" blog with a little filler here and there. I still love TV, it's just that nothing gets me more excited than this show. I really thought "Glee" was going to get my mojo pumping, but I find myself disappointed with the new direction it's going. But more about that later. Let's get down to the business of ...

"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): Lord, Lord, Lord. This was one for the history books. I do believe that this will go down as the Tribal Council in all of "Survivor". There was drama, humor, intrigue and heartbreak. But mostly, one player emerged as one of the smartest players of all time.

Now that the Villains have gotten rid of stick figure Courtney, the numbers are even between both tribes. The Heroes find a locked chest with a note attached saying company will be arriving soon, while the Villains have the key to open it. They are super excited - especially one-woman alliance Sandra - about the merge and pack up their camp to move to the Heroes' beach. Russell thinks he's the only one in the game with a hidden immunity idol and has no idea that Parvati has one of her own. She says the idols put her and Russell in the King and Queen position, but the Queen doesn't have to tell the King about her plans of a coup. Poor J.T. still thinks that after the Villains' Tribal Council, Parvati is gone and there are no more idols left in the game.

Upon arrival at their new camp, the castaways are told to drop their buffs and come up with a new tribe name. They eventually come up with "Yin Yang", throwing out "Hillains" and Jerri's suggestion of "All Villains". Pause it: I was thinking something more along the lines of "Puppets". It's obvious that the Heroes aren't happy to see Parv is still in the game. She whines to Danielle about feeling the cold shoulder. "I'm offended by how these Heroes are treating me. They don’t know it yet, but they’re about to be picked off one by one," Parvati threatens.

Meanwhile, Russell is spinning an intricate tall to Rupert and J.T. about why Parv is still in the game. He assures them that he's on their side, telling them "Just let this happen." Pause it: If only J.T. had a crystal ball ... and a brain. J.T. thinks Russ is a good ol' country boy. He has no inkling that Russ has turned him into a big doofus on national television. "Hook, line and sinker," Russ says, obviously pleased with himself. "This is going to be way easier than I thought."

Sandra later tries to warn Rupert that Russell and Parvati are trying to pull the buff over their eyes. "Russell’s the kingpin and Parvati’s the second in command," she says. It finally dawns on Rupert that the Heroes might be getting played in the worst possible way. “This is where the game gets crazy,” he marvels. But when Rupert goes to share Sandra's warning with the rest of the Heroes, they accuse him of being paranoid ... and sweating too much.

At the immunity challenge, it's every castaway for themselves in the first individual challenge: the pole hold - a last-man-standing endurance game. The contestants perch themselves on a pole with nothing but some tiny grooves to fit their feet into. J.T., Candice and Parvati have all played the game before with Candice lasting the longest. Both Colby and Sandra are the first ones to drop, followed by Rupert, Amanda and J.T. Parvati finds a new strategy by standing on the outside of her foot. She's in a zone and Candice realizes she's not going to outlast her. It's down to Parv and Danielle. Dani wants Parv to step off since she already has an idol. She does, and Danielle win the first individual immunity. Pause it: Did anyone notice how Dani's implant was looking a little melted. Gross!

It's scramble time back at the beach. Rupert wonders why Parvati stepped down if she thought she was going home. The Heroes devise a plan to flush out any possible idols by telling Russell that the Heroes are voting for Parvati, when in reality, they will be voting for either Sandra or Jerri to test Russell’s loyalty. Russell wants J.T. gone. He gives his idol to Parvati in hopes of saving her at Tribal Council. With both idols in her possession, Parvati is now the most powerful player in the game.

At Council, Yin Yang starts fighting about unripened bananas, reopening the debate about "banana etiquette". Rupert accuses the Villains - mainly Parvati and Danielle - of eating more than their share. Russell reminds them they are there to cut some fat and wants to get on with it. He says the vote will dictate the outcome of the game. Pause it: The jury (Coach and Courtney) read right through Russell's act. Too bad they couldn't do that when they were playing the game.

The Heroes cast their votes for Jerri, while the Villains all vote for J.T. Before the votes are read, Probst gives the usual spill about playing the hidden immunity idol and in a stunning twist, Parvati gives away BOTH idols to Sandra and Jerri. All votes cast for Jerri are void, leaving J.T. to go down in flames. Pause it: I was so embarrassed for him. *Forcing J.T. into an uncomfortable hug.* Russell is shell-shocked, whispering to Parvati, "You have some explaining to do."

J.T. took it like a man, but I would've loved to be sitting next to him at the Watch Party. I'm not a fan of Parvati, but she earned my respect tonight. And if she able to take Russell out of the game, I will cheer her on to the final three. At this point, I'm sure the Villains are going to want to keep Russell around cause it guarantees them five Hero votes from the jury. Parvati is going to be hard to beat, but if Sandra keeps playing her cards right, she'll be sitting next to her in the finals.

In case anyone was wondering, both Michael and Jackie are out of our "Survivor" pool. I still have Danielle on my team while Janet is going strong with Russell and Sandra. Here's the scorecard: (Members of the jury are the green failures)

CHANNEL SURFING

• Seattle's own Seth Aaron Henderson was crowned the winner of Season 7 of "Project Runway" (Lifetime, 10:00). Of course I know S.A. is really from Vancouver, Washington but only people who live there know you're not talking about Canada. Anyway, the judges thought S.A. knew how to "put on a show" and called his line "whimsical". It was a hard pill to swallow for Emilio Sosa, who won multiple challenges throughout the season. The judges loved his clothes but called a collection and not a complete fashion line. I hated Mila's collection, but then again, I've hated her aesthetic all season. All of the designers' clothes looked like something you'd find in Nordstrom. In past seasons, the finale runway show is full of drama and flowing gowns. I missed that. I mean, is it really runway couture if I'm not sitting on my couch wishing I had $10,000 for a pair of fitted slacks?
• Some passing thoughts about "Glee" (FOX, Tues., 9:00): I'm fairly sure I'm in the minority on this one, but that Madonna-themed episode? HATED IT. The cast performed seven songs. SEVEN! They barely had any dialogue. What I liked about the first half of the season was the backstories on all these complex characters. Now we get song after song and a revolving door of guest stars. A word to the writers: I know the show is an unstoppable pop-culture phenomenon, but stop trying to please the masses and get back to the basics.
  
• In parting, here's a funny line I heard on "The Office" (NBC, 9:00): "If it wasn't for secretaries, I wouldn't have a stepmom." - Andy, telling us the importance of celebrating Secretary's Day.
  

Say hello

Of course with the return of "Glee" I wanted to spend time really talking about the first fresh episode of the year, but with my new Wednesday work schedule, I'm racing the sun to get in bed. Here's a quick recap:

"Glee" (FOX, 9:28): The show sort of dropped the ball on the timeline aspect. Rachel and Finn are a couple now? And it's so serious, she made him a relationship calendar. Pause it: Rachel is totally one of my favorite characters, but that calendar idea was super scary. Seems like Finn didn't get the memo that they are dating and starts to question if he still has feelings for Quinn.

Mr. Schue warns the glee club about getting too complacent since winning sectionals. He challenges the group to reinvent themselves, starting with each one of them performing a song with "hello" in the title. Meanwhile, Coach Sue has blackmailed the school principal to get her job back as leader of the Cheerios and is still intent on taking down the glee club. Her first goal is to make Rachel so distraught over losing Finn that she quits the club. She enlists glee club Cheerios Brittany and Santana to seduce Finn away from Rachel.

Finn does end up dumping Rachel, but she doesn't take it lying down. She calls him out on his insecurities and ends up meeting (and falling for) Jessie St. James, the lead vocalist for a competing choir. The Finn, Kurt, Mercedes and Artie all try to warn Rachel that Jessie is probably playing her. They even threaten to kick her out of the club if she doesn't stop seeing him. She confronts Jessie about his motives, but they agree to continue seeing each other in secret.

I'm so happy "Glee" is back and there were numerous laugh-out-loud moments, but it's like FOX treated this as a throw-away episode in preparation for the big Madonna-themed show next week. I know getting access to her catalog is a big deal, but the promos are overkill. Now that "Glee" has become a phenomenon, I hope it doesn't lose it's edge.

Funny lines:

• Finn: "Sometimes I wish I could be more like Coach Tanaka. He pulled a Jessica Simpson - you know, lost his fiancé, gained 40 pounds, stopped showering, and everyone acts like that is totally normal."
• Coach Sue after chopping of a male student's long hair: "I'm going to donate this to the victims of Hurricane Katrina. They can use it to plug the holes in their trailers.
• Mr. Schue trying to inspire the group: "What do you guys say when you answer the phone?" Mercedes: "What up?" Artie: "Who this be?" Kurt: "No, she's dead. This is her son."
• Santana dissing Rachel's outfit to Brittany: "She looked like Pippy Longstocking, except Israeli."
  

Featured songs:
"Hello, I Love You" - The Doors
"Gives You Hell" - All American Rejects
"Hello" - Lionel Ritchie
"Highway to Hell" - AC/DC
"Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love" - A Chorus Line
"Hello, Goodbye" - The Beatles

CHANNEL SURFING

• "Lost" (ABC, 9:00): Things we learned tonight: Michael is stuck on the island because he killed Libby and the whispering voices from the jungle are other spirits who can't move on. And that's about as much as my brain could follow.
• Suze Orman was on "The Biggest Loser" (NBC, 8:00) to guide the contestants to "financial health". She even predicted that Sunshine would win the season based on her FICO score. I'm sure that debt was supposed to be a metaphor for debt, but it felt more like a glorified promo for CNBC. Anyway, it was a night of big prizes as Michael wins $1,000 in a balancing competition, and Andrea and O'Neal both win cars. O'Neal promptly hands his key over to daughter Sunshine.At the weigh-in, Andrea and Sam (who didn't lose any weight at all) fall below the yellow line, but he manages to keep his spot on the ranch. Andrea is sent home in her new car. These people claim they aren't playing the game, but keeping around the guy who has lost all the weight he's going to lose is obviously game play.
  

After these messages: Has anyone out there tried "Hip Hop Abs?" My stomach does not look like that after I dance. It's more like a sweaty, dented keg. Shruggsies.

Getting bumped

Here's a rundown from Wednesday night:

"So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX, 8:00): It was America's vote last night and some hard decisions had to be made. Most of the performances were really well done. And those couples that didn't dance up to par made up for it on their second routines. But alas, Noelle, Kathryn, Ryan and Nathan landed in the bottom four.

Viewers are now voting for the best individual, not the best couple, so it came down to who had the best solos Tuesday night. Even though Mollee had some solid routines, I thought her solo was horrible and was sure she would've been in the bottom. Krumper Russell and B-boy Legacy had the best solos, and for a ballroom dancer, Ryan is a really good solo performer. Ballroomers usually are at a disadvantage when it comes to the solos, but Ryan dances with such bravado that he doesn't need a girl on stage with him.

After an amazing routine by the Legion of Extraordinary Dancers, I sat through that atrocious song that Snoop Dogg sang, but only because he was surrounded by former SYTYCDancers (Go Dominic and Hok!) In the end it was Nathan and Noelle who danced their last dance. Noelle did better in her routines than Kathryn, but Kathryn had a better solo. It was a toss-up with Ryan and Nathan who both gave great solos but I think Nathan died a death at the hands of the judges snarky comments toward him from earlier in the season. Thanks Nigel.


"Glee" (FOX, 9:00): There's only one more episode left before the show takes a break to make room for "American Idol" (UGH), and the show pulled out all the punches to get ready for the fall finale.

Mr. Schue's day goes from bad to worse when Emma and Ken announce they are getting married on the same as Sectionals. Then Coach Sue tells him she intentionally had the Glee Club left out of Thunderclap, McKinley High's yearbook, because the photo gets vandalized every year. And to finish off his slow death, Mr. Schue finds wife Terri's fake baby bump, realizing she been lying about being pregnant the whole time.

Schue runs to Principal Friggins to complain and is told that a yearbook photo costs $1,000 for a full page. Mr. Schue opts for a quarter page for $325 but only 2 kids can fit into the frame. None of the Gleeks want to be in the photo so they elect Rachel to by their captain and appear in the picture, which she is more than happy to do. Pause it: How hilarious was it that Rachel joined as many clubs as she could, not to be a well-rounded student, but to practice for being in front of the paparazzi. Black Student Union? ... Who writes this stuff?

Rachel lands the Gleeks a spot in a TV commercial for mattresses and the store thanks them with a shipment of them. Those mattresses came in handy after Mr. Schue storms out on Terri. One Watch Party viewer commented on how violent he became. I agree. I was glad the truth finally came out, but the way he demanded Terri lift her shirt and then snatched off the fake baby bump was kind of scary, which is surprising since the show has such dark humor. I wonder if this will slow down Emma's rush to the altar.

In the end, the Gleeks get in trouble for accepting payment (the mattresses) for their participation in the commercial, making them ineligible to participate in Sectionals. Mr. Schue falls on the sword and agrees not to accompany them since technically he was the one who slept on the one of the mattresses, making him accountable for accepting the payment. They do manage to get their yearbook photo after Quinn blackmails Coach Sue and demands she give one of the cheerleading squad's six pages to the Glee Club.

Rewind the tape: Was Quinn jumping and rolling around on one of the mattresses during the commercial? If she was she may want to rush to the nearest hospital and have that baby checked out.

Funny lines:

• Coach Sue explaining the work she had done on her face for her yearbook photo: "While they were in there I told them to go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. I wasn't using 'em."
• Emma about why she's marrying Ken: "I know he has a lot of flaws ... 74 flaws as of yesterday."
• Rachel to photographer after finding out he's casting for a commercial: "Aside from nudity and the exploitation or animals, I'll do pretty much anything to break into the business."

Featured songs:
"Jump" by Van Halen
"Smile" by Charlie Chaplin (The version song by Rachel and Finn was by Lily Allen)

REALITY CHECK
On "Top Chef" (Bravo, 10:00), the final four chef'testants head to Napa Valley to compete in the penultimate challenge to see who makes it to the last cook off. Padma is sporting a baby bump and a new set of bangs. Micheal wins a new Toyota Prius in the Quickfire Challenge which had the chefs creating a dish using Napa's cash crop: the grape.

For their final challenge, the chefs must cater a crush party for 150 people. Crush is the time of year when the people of Napa crush grapes for the wines. Other than salt and pepper, they can't use anything that's not locally produced, and they must make one vegetarian dish and one protein dish.

Jennifer looked like she had regained some of her confidence during their time away from the kitchen, but apparently the Voltaggio brothers didn't use the time to work on their relationship, as they are still bickering like two little schoolgirls. Pause it: Thank you, Bravo, for subjecting us to their childish banter all season. Thanks a lot!

Bryan, the nice brother, wins the challenge and skates through to the finals. Jennifer is told to pack her knives and go after turning in a dish that wasn't well-thought out. We have an all-male finale again with Bryan, Michael and Kevin competing for the title of Top Chef. I'm rooting for Kevin simply because he cooks food that doesn't look like a rabbit threw it up. TEAM KEVIN!!!

Somebody to lean on

See how much I love you?! I'm sitting in Brooklyn, NY at 2:52 am (East Coast Time) writing this blog. There was no way I was going to miss "Glee", even if I am on vacation. But don't fret ... I am doing more than just sitting around watching TV. Later today it's the Brooklyn Museum of Art and a Manhattan comedy club. Here are my thoughts on tonight:

"Glee" (FOX, 9:00): When Mr. Schue made the announcement that the glee club would be doing ballads, I was totally ready to see some killer duets. What we got was crazy stalker crush story where several people were falling for their singing partners. Rachel fell for Mr. Schue after she was forced to pair up with him; Kurt admitted he was in love with Finn ever since the day they met; and even though they are already a couple, Finn professed his love to Quinn and their unborn baby. Too bad he decided to do it in front of Quinn's parents. Her dad kicked her out and she moved in with Finn. Pause it: I soooo wish I could do a cool mash-up with their names, but all I get Quinn ... or Finn. Not nearly as cute as Quick (Quinn/Puck) or Finchel (Finn/Rachel).

And let's just discuss this little love triangle that has quickly turned into a pentagon: Kurt loves Finn who thinks he should love Quinn who's really in love with Puck who was hooking up with Rachel who loves Finn. It'll be interesting to see how this clusterf*#@ plays out now that Puck has confessed to Mercedes that he's the baby daddy. And where was Coach Sue? I didn't chuckle out loud not once during this episode!

Featured songs:
"Endless Love" by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie
"I'll Stand By You" by the Pretenders
"Young Girl" by Gary Puckett (Union Gap)
"Don't Stand So Close to Me" by The Police
"Crush" by Jennifer Paige
"[You're] Having My Baby by Paul Anka
"Lean On Me" by Bill Withers

"America's Next Top Model" (CW, 8:00): Tyra crowns the show's first petite model: 5'7" Nicole Fox. It was a competition of quirky dork vs. girl-next-door, and not since Cycle 3 (Eva vs. Yaya) have I been so torn about who I wanted to win. Of course Laura's southern charm made her the perfect representative for Cover Girl, but Nicole had the best portfolio and you can't be a model if you can't book the job. I'm sure we haven't seen the last of Laura, but right now it's Nicole's time to rip the runway. Rewind: Did it really take Nicole 22 takes to get her commercial down? That's got to be a Top Model record! Are you happy Nicole won or were you a Laura fan?

"In the Spotlight With Robin Roberts: Janet Jackson" (ABC, 10:00): For anyone who has ever lost someone close to them, one of the most painful things in the world is getting that call telling you that some you love has passed away. I tragically lost a niece 2 years ago and I will never forget how hard it was to hear the news over the phone. So I can totally sympathize with Janet Jackson when she spoke about losing her brother and hearing about it first on CNN, then confirmed over the phone. Yes, Michael Jackson was an entertainer but he was also someone's father, someone's brother, someone's friend. To have a death be overshadowed with controversy and suspicion takes away from the grieving process. Janet says she copes by nervously smiling. How sweet is that?

I didn't expect Janet to be very candid and she didn't reveal much that we didn't already know about her. But it was nice to see a member of the Jackson family talk about Michael without trying to cash in on his death (I'm glaring at you Jermaine, LaToya, Joe). Plus, Janet has a really great smile.

I miss you, Roshundalyn.

After school special

As I mentioned before, a power outage prevented me from watching all of my shows last night. But being the dedicated blogger (and TV lover) that I am, I was up watching TV until 7:30 this morning. Here's what I watched before my eyes started crossing.

"Glee" (FOX, 9:00): The World Series kept us apart for so long I almost forgot it was back! I like the little recaps they give us before the show starts. It's a quick little reminder of all the plots they've got going.

I wasn't disappointed in this episode, but I didn't love it either. We all know that "Glee" is not just a show about great singing. It's about acceptance and not being afraid to be different. This episode touched on every sensitive subject you could possibly imagine: teen pregnancy, Down syndrome, people with disabilities and sexuality. Even with all these touchy topics, I expected them to hold their ground and come out swinging. Instead of tackling the subjects with the biting humor that I love, we got a funny, but watered down version of "South Park". Kind of like an after school special.

In this episode titled "Wheels", Mr. Schue wants the club to rally around wheelchair-bound Artie when the school won't pay for a handicap-accessible bus to transport him to regionals. While the group loves Artie, they aren't very sympathetic to his plight, so Mr. Schue makes them all spend three hours a day in a wheelchair and adds a wheelchair number to the program. He then challenges Coach Sue to hold open tryouts for the cheerleading squad and pressures her to choose someone who's not so beautiful on the exterior. Coach throws him for a loop when she picks Becky Johnson, a girl with Down syndrome, to join the Cheerios. He's sure she has an agenda, but the truth is Coach Sue has an older sister with Down syndrome whom she visits on a regular basis. She also writes a check for three new wheelchair ramps for the school.

Pause it: Wow! Sue Sylvester has a sensitive side. It was cool to see her as the good guy for once but I like her surly attitude so I hope she's not too soft for long.

The show has been getting a lot of flack from advocacy groups for people with disabilities. Kevin McHale, who plays Artie, doesn't use a wheelchair so some groups criticized FOX for not hiring disabled actors. Pause it: I'm going to take my chances on getting pelted with rotten tomatoes, but groups like PETA, NAACP, PFLAG and any other initials need to relax! Seriously! First of all, it's just television. Second of all, would you rather have no attention on your cause or can you just shut up and reap the benefits of having your minority group portrayed on TV. I understand why you exist and I applaud you. But for now I need you to sit down and put a sock in it so I can enjoy my shows without a press release on how unfairly you're treated. We all want reparations of some sort. I'll accept mine in the form of an Emmy for this show. Anyway ...

Elsewhere around Glee Club: Kurt and Rachel compete in a "Diva-Off" to see who gets the to sing their favorite song, "Defying Gravity". I didn't like the song (I'm more of a Mariah fan) so I didn't care who won. Quinn is feeling the financial pain of pregnancy and pressures Finn to get a job. With Rachel's help he lands one, but only because he faked being wheelchair-bound and threatened to call the ACLU if they didn't hire him. Good for Finn for stepping up but too bad he's such an idiot. Where's Maury Povich when you need him? Archie and Tina bond over their handicaps. They were making a pretty cute love connection until she reveals that she fakes her stutter. Have you ever faked a disability or illness? I have, but I can't say or else I'd be fired.

Funny lines

• After new Cheerio Becky complains about the tough routine, Coach Sue says, "You think this is hard? Try auditioning for "Baywatch" and being told that they're going in another direction. That was hard."
• Finn, explaining to Coach Schue why they don't have time for a bake sale: "Kids are busier than when you went here. We've got homework and football and teen pregnancy ... lunch."

Featured music
"Dancin' With Myself" - Billy Idol
"Defying Gravity" - Wicked (musical)
"Proud Mary" - Ike and Tina Turner

Healthy competition

The running theme tonight was competition, and I know if I were on any of these shows I would have to pack my knives and be out of the running for New Directions. Let's get to it!

"Glee" (FOX, 9:00): It's more mash-ups as Emma and Ken solicit the glee club to come up with a wedding song. She wants something elegant and traditional while he wants the Thong Song. Mr. Schue struggled to get the tunes to work together and that seemed to be the undercurrent of the show: things not mashing up. You've got football vs. glee, Puck and Rachel, Emma and Ken. A lot of matches made in high school hell. After growing tired of "slushy facials", Finn chooses football over glee club, but returns after a pep talk from Mr. Schue.

I find it very heartwarming the way the "gleeks" stand up for one another. Even though they aren't part of the popular circles, they've carved out quite a niche for themselves. And who knew that Mr. Schue was such a dancer. He has a very Justin Timberlake quality about him ... surprisingly talented but kind of a dork. What do you think of a Rachel/Puck pairing? Could they be the Bobby and Whitney of "Glee"?

Overheard

• Quinn, whining about no longer being popular: "Status is like currency - when your bank account is full you can get away with doing just about anything."
• Kurt, after taking a "slushy facial" for the team: "Someone get me to a day spa, stat!" Then the camera pans to him marching into the girls' bathroom.
• A heartbroken Coach Sue taking her anger out on Mr. Schue: "... And if it's one minute late, i will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark cold night, I will steal away into your home and punch you in the face."
• Kurt with more insight on slushies: "You know why they call them 'slushies' don't you? Because your butt looks like one if you have too many of them."

Featured songs
Bust a Move - Young MC
Thong Song - Sisqo
Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond
I Could Have Danced All Night - from "My Fair Lady"
What a Girl Wants - Christina Aguilera

"Top Chef: Las Vegas" (Bravo, 10:00): For the high-stakes quickfire challenge, the chefs are in a tag team cook-off. Seattle chef Rocky Robin is picked last and she says it's because she's a mom. I think it's because she's a bad cook. As usual, she's on the losing team.

Finally, it's Restaurant Wars! This is my favorite time on "Top Chef" because it really exposes who knows what they are doing and who shouldn't be allowed in a kitchen. The brothers end up on the same team and I haven't seen so much discord between family members since Cain and Abel. Pause it: I really wish the Voltaggio brothers would simmer down. Someone needs to turn the heat down on their fire. I'm tired of watching their rivalry.

Here's my scorecard:
Names: Revolt and The Mission. I don't know who in their right mind would eat at a restaurant called Revolt. That's not a visual I want with my food. Score one for The Mission.
Menu: Mission served practically all meat dishes with no dessert. For Revolt, Robin finally gets something right with her pear dish, as it was a favorite among the judges. At least we know she can make something. Point for Revolt.
Service: Both teams were lacking in front-house service, but Laurine was totally overwhelmed and even forgot to explain the dishes to the patrons. Over at Revolt, Eli came off as confident and chatty and the judges loved his enthusiasm. Match point goes to Revolt.

Laurine was told to pack her knives and I agreed with their decision. But how bad would it suck to lose a cooking show for being a bad hostess and not your cooking abilities. Do you think Laurine should've went home? Are you revolting the Voltaggio brothers?

CHANNEL SURFING
Every time I see the opening of "America's Next Top Model" (CW) I keep wishing Bianca was still in the competition. She had the most striking face and it would've been nice to see a girl with a shaved head win. The models tackle interviews and it's a good thing they are cute (most of them) because speaking is not their forte. Erin gets a big head after winning the challenge then falls apart during her commercial. Laura reveals she's dyslexic and even though the girl with the most face time usually goes home, she manages to stay another week and Rae was out of the running for becoming America's Next Top Model. I wanted Erin to go, but she does take killer photos with that alien makeoverTyra gave her. Who is your model favorite?

On MTV's "Real World/Road Rules Challenge", Walla Walla whack job Tonya gets sent home after smacking Veronica across the face with a backhand that I've only seen give on soap operas and by Rick James. Tonya had about five too many, but it was Veronica who refused to walk away from a volatile situation. I'm not saying she deserved to be hit ... maybe just shaken a little. Challenge veteran Katie was sent packing after losing to rookie Sarah in the Ruins, and Danny lost to Darrell. At least no bodily fluids were exchanged. It's the small things.

"South Park" (Comedy Central) manages to equate wrestling with acting in a Greek tragedy in an episode aptly titled "W.T.F" (Wrestling Takedown Federation). After the kids see a WWE wrestling match, they decide to join a team, but when the coach tries to show them proper techniques they think he's gay and into child porn. The boys start W.T.F. which eventually turns into elaborate theater complete with wine, intermission and playbills. "South Park" continues to be one of the smartest shows on TV, no matter how immature. To take something as silly as WWE wrestling and turn it into a theatrical production ... that's genius at work.

What a Wednesday

I'm in a zone with my impending vacation, so I'm going to keep it short and sweet.

"So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX, 8:00): The field started with 77 dancers and by the end only 38 were left standing. Next week we find out who makes the Top 20, but here's a recap of how they get there.

The choreographers led the dancers through a series of stylized routines: Laurie Ann Gibson taught a jazz routine, Mia Michaels for contemporary and Broadway for Tyce Diorio. Both Laurie Ann and Mia Michaels have earned reputations for being hard on the dancers, but I've seen Laurie Ann on "Making the Band" (MTV) and her bite is not as big as her bark. Pause it: You've come up Laurie Ann so don't ruin it by trying to be all Billy Badass. Mia took a gentler approach and that's when the dancers were able to shine.

One of the standouts tonight was crumper Russell. He danced through all the styles as if he's been classically trained. If he doesn't make the Top 20 it will be an injustice and I probably wouldn't watch the season. (NOT) This show is about taking someone who's already a talented dancer and making them extraordinary. Russell could be this season's Twitch. None of the girls are standing out right now, but I'm predicting married couple Ryan and Ashley will be split up with Ryan making it over his wife. I'm excited to see who makes the cut so let's get this show on the road.

"Glee" (FOX, 9:00): The episode was titled "Throwdown" but a more fitting name would've been "Coach Sue's Minority Report". WOW! She found a way to riff on every minority group you could think of. I'm sure a lot of people out there won't appreciate the humor in this episode, but I found it extremely funny.

After being made to co-sponsor the glee club, Coach Sue goes out of her way to pit the kids against each other as a way to divide and conquer. She takes all the minority students (Santana, Wheels, Gay Kid, Asian, Other Asian, Aretha and some other kid I couldn't figure out) and forms "Sue's Kids". She allows them to sing R&B instead of show tunes and also throw in some "pop-n-lock" dance moves. Eventually the club stands up to Coach Sue and Mr. Schue after their incessant fighting hinders their progress. From Finn: "If we wanted to hear mom and dad fight, those of us who still have two parents would just stay home on payday." Sue relinquishes the club back into the hands of Mr. Schue, but not before she blackmails the school blogger into leaking Quinn's pregnancy. I've said it before and I'll say it again: If this show doesn't win multiple awards for writing and acting, I'll suck on my big toe like it's a baby's bottle.

There were so many good quotes from tonight, you'll have to watch the show to get them all. Here are a few that I had to hear twice:

• Coach Sue on her love for minorities: "I like minorities so much I'm thinkin' about moving to California to become one."
• Sue, while yelling at Mr. Schue for flunking all the Cheerios: "Should they learn spanish? Sure, if they want to become dishwashers and gardeners. But if they want to be bankers and lawyers and captains of industry the most important lesson they could possibly learn is how to do a roundoff."

Featured songs:
Hate on Me - Jill Scott
Ride Wit Me - Nelly
No Air - Jordin Sparks with Chris Brown
You Keep Me Hangin' On - The Supremes
Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne

"Law & Order: SVU" (NBC, 9:00): A man wakes up with a head injury and a woman's he claims to have never met before is bludgeoned to death on the floor. Benson and Stabler aren't sure what to believe and set out to prove he knew the girl. It's later determined that the man is a recovering alcoholic who had blacked out after falling off the wagon. And in typical "L&O" fashion, the episode goes from being about solving a murder case to some far-fetched storyline from left field. Tonight's soap box of choice was the dangers of alcoholism.

I really hate how that kind of storytelling has become the way of the "L&O" franchise. The story was compelling all on its own, then they start beating you over the head with fact and myths about alcoholism. They finally drive it home by having the D.A. show up to court drunk. I'm citing this show for contempt. Bailiff!

Last bite: Robin is to "Top Chef" what Logan is to "Project Runway": a disappointment to Seattle and mediocre in her profession. She was in the bottom for the Quickfire Challenge and the for the Elimination round. Needless to say I won't be wearing his clothes or eating at her restaurant.