Healthy competition

The running theme tonight was competition, and I know if I were on any of these shows I would have to pack my knives and be out of the running for New Directions. Let's get to it!

"Glee" (FOX, 9:00): It's more mash-ups as Emma and Ken solicit the glee club to come up with a wedding song. She wants something elegant and traditional while he wants the Thong Song. Mr. Schue struggled to get the tunes to work together and that seemed to be the undercurrent of the show: things not mashing up. You've got football vs. glee, Puck and Rachel, Emma and Ken. A lot of matches made in high school hell. After growing tired of "slushy facials", Finn chooses football over glee club, but returns after a pep talk from Mr. Schue.

I find it very heartwarming the way the "gleeks" stand up for one another. Even though they aren't part of the popular circles, they've carved out quite a niche for themselves. And who knew that Mr. Schue was such a dancer. He has a very Justin Timberlake quality about him ... surprisingly talented but kind of a dork. What do you think of a Rachel/Puck pairing? Could they be the Bobby and Whitney of "Glee"?

Overheard

• Quinn, whining about no longer being popular: "Status is like currency - when your bank account is full you can get away with doing just about anything."
• Kurt, after taking a "slushy facial" for the team: "Someone get me to a day spa, stat!" Then the camera pans to him marching into the girls' bathroom.
• A heartbroken Coach Sue taking her anger out on Mr. Schue: "... And if it's one minute late, i will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark cold night, I will steal away into your home and punch you in the face."
• Kurt with more insight on slushies: "You know why they call them 'slushies' don't you? Because your butt looks like one if you have too many of them."

Featured songs
Bust a Move - Young MC
Thong Song - Sisqo
Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond
I Could Have Danced All Night - from "My Fair Lady"
What a Girl Wants - Christina Aguilera

"Top Chef: Las Vegas" (Bravo, 10:00): For the high-stakes quickfire challenge, the chefs are in a tag team cook-off. Seattle chef Rocky Robin is picked last and she says it's because she's a mom. I think it's because she's a bad cook. As usual, she's on the losing team.

Finally, it's Restaurant Wars! This is my favorite time on "Top Chef" because it really exposes who knows what they are doing and who shouldn't be allowed in a kitchen. The brothers end up on the same team and I haven't seen so much discord between family members since Cain and Abel. Pause it: I really wish the Voltaggio brothers would simmer down. Someone needs to turn the heat down on their fire. I'm tired of watching their rivalry.

Here's my scorecard:
Names: Revolt and The Mission. I don't know who in their right mind would eat at a restaurant called Revolt. That's not a visual I want with my food. Score one for The Mission.
Menu: Mission served practically all meat dishes with no dessert. For Revolt, Robin finally gets something right with her pear dish, as it was a favorite among the judges. At least we know she can make something. Point for Revolt.
Service: Both teams were lacking in front-house service, but Laurine was totally overwhelmed and even forgot to explain the dishes to the patrons. Over at Revolt, Eli came off as confident and chatty and the judges loved his enthusiasm. Match point goes to Revolt.

Laurine was told to pack her knives and I agreed with their decision. But how bad would it suck to lose a cooking show for being a bad hostess and not your cooking abilities. Do you think Laurine should've went home? Are you revolting the Voltaggio brothers?

CHANNEL SURFING
Every time I see the opening of "America's Next Top Model" (CW) I keep wishing Bianca was still in the competition. She had the most striking face and it would've been nice to see a girl with a shaved head win. The models tackle interviews and it's a good thing they are cute (most of them) because speaking is not their forte. Erin gets a big head after winning the challenge then falls apart during her commercial. Laura reveals she's dyslexic and even though the girl with the most face time usually goes home, she manages to stay another week and Rae was out of the running for becoming America's Next Top Model. I wanted Erin to go, but she does take killer photos with that alien makeoverTyra gave her. Who is your model favorite?

On MTV's "Real World/Road Rules Challenge", Walla Walla whack job Tonya gets sent home after smacking Veronica across the face with a backhand that I've only seen give on soap operas and by Rick James. Tonya had about five too many, but it was Veronica who refused to walk away from a volatile situation. I'm not saying she deserved to be hit ... maybe just shaken a little. Challenge veteran Katie was sent packing after losing to rookie Sarah in the Ruins, and Danny lost to Darrell. At least no bodily fluids were exchanged. It's the small things.

"South Park" (Comedy Central) manages to equate wrestling with acting in a Greek tragedy in an episode aptly titled "W.T.F" (Wrestling Takedown Federation). After the kids see a WWE wrestling match, they decide to join a team, but when the coach tries to show them proper techniques they think he's gay and into child porn. The boys start W.T.F. which eventually turns into elaborate theater complete with wine, intermission and playbills. "South Park" continues to be one of the smartest shows on TV, no matter how immature. To take something as silly as WWE wrestling and turn it into a theatrical production ... that's genius at work.