Everything's a challenge

With "Glee" on hiatus for the World Series, every show was about competing. Don't get me wrong, I love a good match-up, but tonight the competitions were a little uneven. Let's get to it.

"America's Next Top Model" (CW, 8:00): Even Hollywood is feeling the crunch of the recession as Tyra moves the six remaining models to Hawaii instead of somewhere overseas. Pause it: I didn't get the memo about Hawaii becoming a fashion capital, but I'll roll with it. Upon arrival,the girls are taught to surf for a photo shoot. Erin wins the challenge and gets a helicopter ride around the island. The 18-year-old then complains that she wanted a tangible prize like jewelry or a shopping spree, allowing us to see why 21-year-old Brittney hates her so much.

Pause it again: This season has the most dry, vanilla personalities ever to hit the catwalks of "Top Model". Brittney and Nicole are both void of any human emotion. Meanwhile, Erin thinks she's bubbling over with personality when in reality she's as blank as that hair color Tyra gave her. And speaking of hair, Tyra should be ashamed of herself for letting Sundai walk around looking like that. As a black woman and a model, she should know that Sundai's weave needs some more glue on it.

Tyra steps behind the lens again, and in an ode to Hawaii's most famous resident (winking at you, Mr. President) she has the girls made over into biracial women. Nicole has the best picture of the week as a Greek/Mexican woman, while SURPRISE! Erin and Brittney walk the runway to the bottom two. Undeserving Erin gets a pass and Brittney sobs her way back to being a mathematician. Chin up, Britt. With your love of numbers at least you'll be able to add up how you went so wrong in this competition.

"Top Chef" (Bravo, 10:00): Yay! A quickfire challenge I can sink my teeth into! The chefs must make a TV dinner based on popular television shows. Seattle's own, Robin, picks the "Sesame Street" knife and proceeds to make her usual plate of poo that puts her in the bottom two ... again. There's only two women left in the competition, and with Jennifer coming off the hinges and Robin serving up continuous crap, it's any wonder why "Top Chef" didn't do a double elimination just to get rid of them.

For the elimination challenge the chefs get to create a menu for Tom Colicchio's restaurant, Craftsteak Steak House. They all have their proteins picked out then enter vegetarian extraordinaire Natalie Portman to throw a wet blanket over the fire. Pause it: Thank you, rocket scientist Robin for letting us know that vegetarians are people too. The chefs are left scrambling for ideas and flipping coins for ingredients. Robin decides to make something she's never made before while Jennifer puts together a side dish and serves it as an entree. They both end up in the bottom two along with Motormouth Mike, who's ultimately told to pack his knives and go over an undercooked leek. Just watching this episode made me want a big, juicy steak with a ground beef chaser. I do not see converting to vegetarianism in my near future.

"Real World/Road Rules Challenge" (MTV, 10:00): The Challengers are down to just 7 members while the Champions are still stacked at 12. The simmering pot of mangled relationships (Cohutta, KellyAnne, Wes and Johanna) has finally reached its boiling point and Wes wants to go against Cohutta in The Ruins. Veronica finds out her team plans to throw her in against KellyAnne but the plan is shot down when the vote is deadlocked. The whole team then has to vote without discussion. Veronica gets a reprieve and they throw in Ibis instead. She decides to take on Kimberly.

Ibis hasn't proven herself in any of the challenges and probably would've been sent home already if her team wasn't on a winning streak. To make matters worse she shows up at The Ruins looking like she's going to a luau - full make-up, side ponytail and a flower in her hair. In the end, both Kimberly and Cohutta win and Ibis and that egotistical ginger Wes is sent packing. Thank you, Lord!