Winners and Losers

Tuesdays: short and sweet. Just like I like 'em.

"The Biggest Loser" (NBC, 8:00): Last week, Tracey screwed all the teams by having the power to decide whose weight would count in the weigh in. This week, karma bit her square in her 200+ pound ass when the doctor told her she's not allowed to work out, leaving the purple team's fate solely on Mo's shoulder. I wonder if he's regretting picking Tracey as a teammate, the girl who was hospitalized the first day. Pause it: Smooth choice, Mo. I know you were trying to be the nice guy by picking the gimp, but she's literally weighing you down. Literally.

I used to work out during the commercial breaks. Then I started eating ice cream. Now I work out with a trainer, but that doesn't stop me from feeling guilty about watching this show from my couch. It also makes me paranoid, and I constantly look down at my stomach to make sure it doesn't look like these contestants. The one thing I hate about "The Biggest Loser" is that they kick people off. If the point of the show is to help people lose weight, why not let them all stick around until the end?

Unfortunately, it was the black (Julio) and brown team (Liz/Danny) that fell below the yellow line. It would've been beneficial for them to get rid of two for the price of one, but I liked that the teams wanted to help two people lose weight instead of playing the game. Too bad we're stuck with maniacal-eyed Tracey for another week. I'll take that ice cream now.

"So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX, 9:00): The last round of auditions take place in Salt Lake City, Utah. Season 6 seems to be stacked on talent. I'm hoping they bring more personality than those dull dancers of Season 5. What I would like to see less of Nigel fawning over the female dancers like the perverted uncle at the family picnic. I really like him as a judge. He's firm and honest in his critiques, and he doesn't toy with the contestant's emotions the way the "American Idol" judges do. But the lewd comments have got to stop! After seeing burlesque dancer Ariana Rowley give an audition fit for a back alley strip club, he asked her to turn around so he could she the bow on her costume bottom. His response: "I'm glad to see it won first prize." EWWW!

152 dancers made it through to Vegas week. I love this part of the competition because they make the contestants do every style of dance and perform in a group number that they must choreograph themselves. From the previews it looks like Laurie Ann Gibson is one of the teachers. I've seen her on "Making the Band" and these dancers are in for a hell of a beat down. She'll separate the weak from the strong.

Was anyone else dry heaving when the girl lost her toenail? I couldn't even watch the critique. And I had to chuckle when Iveta from Lithuania said she wanted to come to America because here, money grows on trees. Sure it does Iveta. It comes from the trees growing in Bank Bailout National Park.

Resa's Rant: If Heidi and Spencer ("The Hills", MTV, 10:00) ever procreate together I will be forced to rip my eyebrows out one by one and eat them. My fingers are melting off as I type this but I'm siding with Spencer on this one. They aren't competent enough to raise a plant, let alone a child.