Weekend Wrap-up

Let's talk about the weekend. Friday night was full of fear while Sunday was all about being hot - physically and literally. Here's a rundown.

Friday
"Medium" (CBS, 9:00): When Allison hears a baby crying in her dreams, she realizes it's a cry for help from an infant who has been kidnapped. Joe is rightly concerned when Allison is stricken with a bout of baby fever and steals the baby herself once he's found. When she calls Joe to tell him where she's hiding he bluntly says "You already have children, and they don't want to only see you on visitor's day." Pause it: The police stormed in on Alli like she was hiding Elian Gonzalez. Were all the big guns really necessary for a woman who works for the district attorney's office?

It's obvious Joe loves his wife, but I'm amazed he doesn't sleep in a separate bedroom. If my spouse woke me up every night the way Allison does we'd be headed for divorce court. And who calls in the middle of the night and says "I hope I didn't wake you"? Seriously.

Poor Bridgette is suffering with "Jan Brady syndrome". She's horrible at learning to play the clarinet, but baby sister Marie plays perfectly without one lesson. She whines to dad that she's known as "everybody's sister" and I know exactly how she feels. All through high school I was "Kevin's sister". It's always Kevin, Kevin, Kevin! Turns out Marie was just being haunted by a ghost who passed away before finishing a song he was writing.

I'm still angry that CBS canceled so many of my favorite shows, but I like that they are recycling actors from now defunct shows. The baby's mom was played by Abby Brammell from "The Unit".

Saturday
"Law & Order: SVU" (NBC, Wed., 9:00): I missed the show earlier in the week (shaking my fist at TiVo) but I was able to catch it on repeat. I was worried we were going to go down another soap box road but surprisingly, they stuck to the script.

The law: Benson and Stabler are called to the home of a mom who catches her son wrestling naked with a friend. The boy was being molested and as soon as the stepfather entered the scene, I knew he was the culprit. Pause it: How careless of Benson and Stabler to constantly point fingers at people without any foundation. Yeah, the stepdad was creepy but they had no proof of his guilt.

The order: Dad wants to cut a deal upon his arrest and offers to help the cops bust a bigger ring of pedophiles. Enter Our Special Love, a group of child molesters who find nothing wrong with loving prepubescent kids. Rewind: "South Park" did an episode about a group like this called NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Love Association). At first I thought it was a joke but after a quick Internet search, I found it is, indeed, a real group. VOMITING!!! Thankfully, the leader of Our Special Love is sentenced to 3,000 years in jail. Somehow that doesn't seem long enough.

Turn that up: Did we already know Dr. Wong was gay or did he subtly come out just now? It was kind of startling, just like when D.A. Serena Southerlyn asked if she was fired because she was a lesbian. Totally came from left field. And is there ever a time when a 30-year-old man should be sleeping with an 11-year-old girl? I didn't think so. (Passing you the vomit bucket)

Sunday
"The Amazing Race" (CBS, 8:00): The teams are still running around Dubai. CBS must've really liked this location to do two episodes there. I'm just thankful that no teams have fallen into the pattern of making uneducated comments when traveling through foreign countries. The race continued with a row-a-dingy roadblock, a detour of counting gold or building hookahs and a plunge down a six-story waterslide known as the "Leap of Faith".

My favorite team, the Globetrotters, started out at the front of the pack, but quickly fell behind when Big Easy couldn't figure out the combination to his briefcase with the next clue inside. So imagine my surprise when they sped through the detour of measuring out $500,000 worth of gold. I guess there's a difference between being good with numbers and being good at math, no? I love this team because they manage to stay both calm and positive under all that pressure. They didn't even yell at the cab driver when he took them to the wrong location.

It wasn't a good night for Team Saving Ourselves for Marriage, Mika and Canaan. Mika was overcome by her fear of water AND heights so the waterslide was a definite no-go for her. After she refused to complete the task, they were eliminated. Would Mika still be your girlfriend if she possibly cost you a million dollars? Were the Globetrotters wrong for taunting Mika about the slide or is all fair in love and racing? Next stop: The Netherlands!

Geography lesson: The waterslide as located at Atlantis: The Palm resort in Dubai. What a beautiful oasis. The pit stop was on one of the vast beaches surrounding the hotel, Dolphin Bay Beach. I gotta get to Dubai!

"Brothers & Sisters" (ABC, 10:00): Sarah's parisian lover has flown 6,000 miles to see her and she has to stash him away at mom's house when her kids return home a day early. Gilles Marini ("Dancing With the Stars", full-frontal nudity guy in "Sex and the City") plays Luke Laurent and everyone except Nora is taken in by his charm. Of course ABC found a way to work in Marini's dance skills by having him teach Rebecca and Justin a wedding dance. Who knew Rebecca could tango?

Holly finds out she's broke after investing all her money in a Ponzi scheme. All she has left are her stocks in Ojai and her house, which she had better doublecheck to make sure she didn't finance through WaMu. Holly is feeling the pinch after promising Rebecca a dream wedding and she doesn't have enough money to pay for it. See people! You spend the money after the wedding, no on it! Oh, and Kevin and Scotty found a surrogate to carry their baby. She's a pursemaker. I'm going to just roll with that.

Random thoughts: ABC's blatant product placement of the Kindle digital book ... could you be any more obvious? The way everyone was fawning, including Uncle Saul, over Luke getting out of the pool was some of the funniest Walker family dialogue in a long time. Paige went through a growth spurt, but whoever cut her hair should be shot. The Geisha look is not flattering on tweens. Speaking of hair, Kevin is in need of a haircut. No white man should ever try to rock an afro. Lastly, it's great to see some plot follow-through. Did anyone notice recovering drug addict Justin drinking water at dinner while everyone else was sipping wine?