Watch this, tape that - Tuesday

Not a lot on, but it's a good night for watching. Here's what's happening:

Tune in for the Lakewood Police Officer's Memorial Service to be aired live at 10:00 a.m. on KOMO 4 and KIRO 7. Remember our fallen heroes.

Holiday shows
"Charlie Brown Christmas" (ABC, 8:00)

8:00
Watch this: "The Biggest Loser" (NBC). Finale. The winner of the $250,000 grand prize is chosen and eliminated players vie for the $100,000 at-home prize. As long as it's not Rudy or whiny Amanda, I'm cool.
Tape that: "So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX). The Top 8 dancers perform.

9:00
Watch this: "Catching Up With 16 and Pregnant: The Girls of Teen Mom" (MTV). If you didn't watch last season, now is the time to sit down with your children and let them watch this sobering look at dealing with parenthood as a teenager. One of the most truthful shows I've seen in a long time.

10:00
Watch this: "Teen Mom" (MTV). Series premier. Follow Maci, Amber, Catelynn and Farrah of "16 and Pregnant" on their first year of motherhood. You don't want to miss this.
Tape that: "Tabatha's Salon Takeover" (Bravo). Fab Tab tries to revamp a Florida salon.

Cleaning house

Since it was my birthday, I just dabbled here and there. I did manage to watch all four shows that aired at 10:00 pm, a feat that wasn't as difficult as I thought. Here's what happened:

"Hoarders" (A&E, 10:00): I usually try to be sensitive when it comes to the subject matter of this mental illness, but when it comes to hoarding, it's just something I can't fully wrap my mind around. So instead of feeling sympathy towards these people, my emotions run between disgust and dismay.

Judi, a 66-year-old from Maryland, moved into her home in November, 1990. Most of her stuff is still in boxes under mountains of garbage and plastic bottles. Judi's house hasn't had running water for 2 years so she uses adult diapers instead of a toilet. Her bathroom is piled high with 3,000 lbs. of soiled diapers and fecal matter. Now you know I have to Pause it: Where are the hazmat suits? The cleanup men were wearing nothing more than rubber gloves and masks. To clean up 3,000 lbs. of dirty diapers? You best believe I'm going to be swaddled in plastic with an oxygen tank. After collapsing, Judi became wedged between the door and a pile of garbage, causing her to be placed in an assisted living facility.

Over in Oklahoma, 58-year-old Gail was dealing with the death of her parents. Her hoarding stemmed from an emotional attachment to their belongings and a fear of throwing their stuff away. Gail also had lived without running water for 2 years, but her neighbors were nice enough to let her use their hose. Goats (yes, goats) had eaten through the siding on her house, leaving gaping holes in some of the rooms and Gail fearing that she won't survive the winter's freezing temperatures.

This was an interesting episode because once the cleaning started, neither Gail nor Judi exhibited any of the attachment issues that led to their hoarding. For the most part, they were eager to part with their stuff. Of course, there was the occasional freak out when they perceived some trash to be a treasure, why does it take a therapist and the threat of home condemnation to light a fire under these women? Judi was depending on the money from the sale of the house to support her assisted-care living, but once the home was deemed too nasty to live in someone paid only $5,000 for the property. That's $4,999 more than what it was worth. Gail did manage to get her house clean and repaired. There was a nice home hidden underneath that critter cave.

Some random thoughts: How is it that a person winds up with an old school bus in their front yard? Is there a place where they just give away old buses? Can you buy them on e-Bay? I'm told that the production company for this show is based here in Seattle. That's why in the episodes have been heavy on Washington state connections.

CHANNEL SURFING

• "Men of a Certain Age" (TNT, 10:00): I'll be sticking with this show. It's considered a dramedy, but the humor is subtle, not over the top like "Desperate Housewives". Ray Romano plays Joe, a man who once had dreams of being a professional golfer. Now he owns a party store and nurses a gambling problem that caused the breakdown of his marriage. His friends, Owen and Terry, are going through their own mid-life crises, both trying to pursue careers that have long eluded them. I'm not having a mid-life crisis, but I can relate to these guys. I have a 'bucket list' of things that I haven't accomplished yet, too. The one negative I have about this show: too much cussing. I know it airs at 10:00, but this is basic cable, not Showtime.
• "I Want to Work for Diddy" (VH1, 10:00): Mr. Combs sends the candidates on an honesty retreat then cans air-headed Jennifer for not being able to think on her feet. That broad was two doughnut shy of a dozen.
• "Gossip Girl" (CW, 9:00): Is Serena one of those girls who is destined to keep picking the guy who will leave her hanging in a time of need? Tripp seems really pervy. He's supposed to be in his 30s and he's falling for a 19-year-old. That like Jon Gosselin dating Miley Cyrus ... just wrong. Jenny has turned to gambling to finance her high school kingdom. I see rehab in her future.

Watch this, tape that - Monday

Feeling the holiday slump? I'm not into yuletide shows, but if you are, there's something on every day this week. I'll help you keep track of what's on.

Holiday shows of the night:
"Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" (ABC, 8:00)
"Carrie Underwood: An All-Star Holiday Special" (FOX, 8:00)

9:00
Watch this: "Gossip Girl" (CW). Chuck tries to deal with the past a year after his father's death.
Tape that: "Find My Family" (ABC). I haven't seen this show yet so I'm giving it a test run. Tonight, a Texas mom seeks her birth parents and a woman hopes to reconnect with her biological family.

10:00
Watch this: "Hoarders" (A&E). If you thought your to-do list was long, check out this show and feel good about yourself.
Tape that: "Men of a Certain Age" (TNT). Series premier. Three longtime buddies battle midlife challenges. Starring Ray Romano, Scott Bakula and Andre Braugher. Check it out.
See it online: "CSI: Miami" (CBS.com). The CSIs investigate the death of a census worker. One less person to count.
See it on second run: "I Want to Work for Diddy" (VH1). Will repeat at midnight. The applicants attend an honesty retreat to ease tension in the group.

So amazing!

It's past midnight, officially making it my birthday! Is it lame that I'm blogging about TV instead of going out to celebrate? Good, I didn't think so. Plenty of time for that later. Let's get on with it ...

"The Amazing Race" (CBS, 8:00): After the elimination of my beloved Globetrotters last week I couldn't bring myself to blog about it. I was heartbroken that they didn't make it to the finals. Apparently I wasn't the only one, as people took to the CBS.com message boards campaigning for Flight Time and Big Easy to be on the next season of All-Stars. If there is indeed an All-Stars season, I hope they come back. Now for the real action ...

After traveling for 21 days through 8 countries and more than 25,000 miles, Team Unmarried Married Couple, Meghan and Cheyne, are the winners of "The Amazing Race". For the last leg, teams flew 6,000 miles from the Czech Republic to Las Vegas where they 'casino crawled' from challenge to challenge. The tasks didn't seem all that difficult, but anyone who has been to Las Vegas knows that you don't 'race' anywhere. The Strip is just a sea of taxicabs and tourists.

The final leg started off evenly with all the teams on the same flight, so it was anybody's race. Team Zebra pulled ahead when they snagged a helpful taxi driver, but that was the only luck they would get for the remainder of the race. At the Roadblock, teams had to rappel 600 feet face-first down the side of the Mandalay Bay Hotel. Ericka, the black half of Team Zebra, managed to finish first with no problems. The Watch Party, on the other hand, was hyperventilating through the whole thing. Pause it: This is one of the rare shows that makes me have a physical reaction every time they do something scary. *Fainting at the thought of that waterslide*.

For the next challenge, the teams raced to The Mirage where they had to join Cirque du Soleil's "Love", trying to grab a bunch of flowers suspended above the stage as they bounced in a bungee harness. This is when Team Zebra turned into Team Exorcist and Ericka completely lost it. I know you're black honey, but angry is not your color. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that she wears the pants in that marriage. After counting out $1 million in poker chips at the Monte Carlo, teams ran to the MGM Grand's High Rollers Suite to find Mr. Las Vegas, Wayne Newton, for their final clue. Pause it: Seriously, Mr. Las Vegas Wayne Newton. Whomever your plastic surgeon is, you need to go back and ask for a refund. Go directly to the doctor and do not pass go. It looks like your cheeks are trying to eat your forehead.

Thanks to Meghan and Cheyne's calm-under pressure demeanor and knowledgeable taxi driver, they pulled ahead for the win. Thank you, God for not allowing Team Chip and Dale to win. Their sneaky ways came back to bite them, but I was very proud at the way they managed to find a way to fight during the chip-counting challenge. You guys are real winners.

I couldn't help but wonder how the Globetrotters would've faired in the final leg. I'm sure that bungee task would've been an easy one since they are both tall guys. But the guys proved they aren't the bounciest balls on the court when it comes to intellect and I'm sure that counting challenge would've proved difficult. Can't wait until next season. I'm hearing rumblings that Jeff and Jordan of "Big Brother" fame are being courted as contestants. They're cute, but both are dumber than a box of rocks, so I don't see them getting very far if they do.

Who were you rooting for? Are you campaigning for the Globetrotters to get another shot?

Interesting fact: The majority of the Las Vegas Strip is actually in Paradise, Nevada, not Las Vegas. Don't be impressed. I heard it during the commercial break.

CHANNEL SURFING
"Cold Case" (CBS, 10:00): It's funny how on this show people's memories get better with age. Tonight's case was from 1999 and people were rambling off details like the murder happened a week ago. Where was all this remembering-of-facts when they guy was bleeding from a gunshot wound to the head? I'll be glad when they finally do a mash up between "Cold Case" and "Ghost Whisperer". But I guess if Melinda Gordon lived in Philly, there would be no need for a Cold Case Division, huh?

Big gambles

Thursday was a night full of risk-taking and some of these people didn't know when to fold. Here's what happened:

"Survivor" (CBS, 8:00): I told my best friend Jeff that this was the best season of "Survivor" ever to which he replied, "You said the same thing about last season. You say that every season." That just goes to show that even in it's 19th season, "Survivor" manages to bring something new and exciting every year. This season, that excitement comes in the form of a man named Russell.

I know I say it every week, but it bears repeating: I can't believe I'm pulling for a guy I absolutely detested in week one. He has stolen the crown for 'outwit' and will probably skate through to the end. No one else in Samoa is playing the game as hard as he is, and I'm actually impressed at the things he's managed to pull off. Who got the brunt of his conniving ways tonight? I'll tell you that later. First, lets talk about "Survivor Auction"!

Along with the dreaded eat-gross-stuff challenge, the auction is one of the highlights of each season - $500 and no sharing money or food! I think I have figured out the best strategy for playing this game: Bid half your money on the first item, which is usually some sort of food. There's no guarantee that you'll get something better in a later round or that they will reveal what's under the cover. Even better, save your money for that one item that pertains to the game. You never know what kind of advantage you can get from those clues. Jai'son was smart to spend his money on that immunity advantage. It ultimately helped him win safety at Tribal Council. And even though John bid on a clue to the hidden immunity idol that Russell had already found, it still helped him confirm that someone had it. Pause it: Call me crazy, but I wouldn't bid on food items when I'm already starving. Getting a taste of food then going back to bugs and fish would turn my stomach inside out.

At Tribal Council, Shambo was determined the get Dave voted off after he confronted her about her chicken-cooking skills. She's becoming quite the loose cannon and former Foa Squared members would be wise to cut her loose before she does them in. Russell persuades his group to go against her and get rid of John since John now knows he has the hidden idol. Score one more for Russell as John goes down in the 4th blindside. The look on his face was priceless! Well, maybe it was worth the money he spent on that clue! Have fun at jury duty, idiot!

"The Office" (NBC, 9:00): I love me some "Office," Lord knows I do. But tonight's episode crossed the line with a joke that was far worse than anything they have ever done on this show. Ten years ago, Michael promised a bunch of third graders that if they graduated from high school, he would pay their college tuition. Cut to 10 years later and "Scott's Tots" are all ready to matriculate, but Michael Scott isn't quite the millionaire he thought he would be by age 30 ... or 40. "I've made some empty promises in my life, but hands down, this was my most generous," says Michael.

So instead of receiving the college tuition they had worked so hard for, Michael gives them batteries for a laptop (lithium, of course). How cruel is that? As someone who volunteers at a school full of minority students, it was hard watching these kids heap praise on Michael then have him dash their hopes of being college students. Yes, they countered it at the end with the stat that "Scott's Tots" had a higher retention level than other kids, but still ... it was a bad storyline.

CHANNEL SURFING
There is no way anyone can eat and watch "Bones" (FOX, 8:00) at the same time. In their defense, they did warn me there was graphic content, but I had to put my spoon down when the flesh started falling off that body. But I don't know what was worse: the fleshless body or the glorified promo for the movie "Avatar". I know it's from 20th Century Fox, but c'mon guys! Enough with the self-promotion! This is "Bones", not "American Idol"!!! FYI: The lab tech guy is in the movie, so I'm sure they are just proud of their co-star.

Take a knee

SPOILER ALERT!! I'm watching "Friday Night Lights" on Direct TV's 101 network so if you're waiting until NBC airs the episodes in 2010, read no further!


"FNL" is already one of the most underrated shows on television and it pains me to think how many people miss out on the goodness that is Dillon, Texas. I have gone through plenty of "favorite shows" during my years of TV watching, but there has never been a show that touches me as deeply as "Friday Night Lights". If you aren't watching it then shame on you. I have Seasons 1-3 if you need to borrow them. In this episode, "The Son", Matt learns that his father died in combat in Iraq, and he's left to shoulder the burden of planning the funeral of a man he barely knew. Pause it: As soon as I saw the Casualty Assistance Officer and Grandma Saracen crying I ran to grab my tissues.

When news spreads around Dillon that Matt's dad was killed, the Taylors rally around the former football star in support. Julie (along with best friend Landry) try to help him through his grief. Tami steps in to help with funeral arrangements and Coach Taylor gives him a shoulder to cry on. With so much attention spent on Matt's grandma, I forgot he even had a father. I remember the episode in Season 1, when his dad shows up and Matt thinks he's there to stay. But it turns out his dad had reenlisted for the fourth time and was leaving Matt to care for his aging grandmother. That's a heavy load to carry for a high school junior. Back then it was obvious that Matt looked at Coach Taylor as a father-figure, so it was even more poignant when he walks Matt home after he reveals how much he resented his own dad.

I've said it before: Anything I see pertaining to the military these days make me tear up immediately. My friend's brother just returned from Iraq on Monday, so watching this episode where there was a military funeral with a 21-gun salute just reminds you how lucky these men are who are get to come home to their loved ones. The Watch Party had completely dissolved into a ball of tears by the time the funeral was over. When Matt grabbed the shovel and began burying his father, I was a complete mess. It wasn't just tears streaming, it was to the point of almost hyperventilating. I haven't been this moved by a show since ... I don't know when I've been this moved by a show!!

In true "Friday Night Lights" form, we get reminders of what it's like to be from a small town and how close-knit the residents of Dillon, Texas are. Having Lyla return for the funeral and seeing Coach Taylor watch Smash play in a televised football game are pleasant little surprises that we get from the writers. It was also very moving to see Tim Riggins, his brother and Landry getting Matt drunk then taking him to the funeral home to see his dad's body, even after the parlor director advised him it was a bad idea. These people care about each other, and I care about them.

Most of the characters on "FNL" undergo some sort of transformation. Tyra went from school tramp to college student. Smash went from arrogant football star to a humble one. And Lyla Garrity went from cheerleader captain to slut to religious zealot back to slut then college co-ed. I think Matt is the only person who hasn't changed. Yes, he was a popular football star, but underneath he has remained the same loving, insecure boy we met four seasons ago. But GEEZ! Can we let up on the guy for a second? Bad things just keep happening to Matt Saracen. It sucks to never see him catch a break. He gave up art school in Chicago to stay with his girlfriend, Julie, only to find out she's applying to colleges all over the country. Now he works at a pizza place and attends a local junior college. Could it get any worse for Matt? Let's just hope they send his character away with a happy ending.

Around the town

• Vince and Luke are still at each other's throats. While the team is starting to turn around, these two are still antagonizing one another. A stolen wallet leads to a brawl in the street which leads to the boys getting arrested and Coach Taylor bailing them out. Pause it: So funny to see Vince handing Luke his wallet back as they pass the streets 5th and Shady.
• JD McCoy is turning into such a prick. I can't believe I was rooting for him last season.
• Vince is named Conference Player of the Week and part of the award is speaking to little kids. His speech to them: "Don't panic, stay cool and get paid." Enough said!
• When did Landry become such a lady's man? The kiss he planted on Jess didn't come from the same guy who was crushing on Tyra for two years before making a move on her. Way to go Landry!

Getting bumped

Here's a rundown from Wednesday night:

"So You Think You Can Dance" (FOX, 8:00): It was America's vote last night and some hard decisions had to be made. Most of the performances were really well done. And those couples that didn't dance up to par made up for it on their second routines. But alas, Noelle, Kathryn, Ryan and Nathan landed in the bottom four.

Viewers are now voting for the best individual, not the best couple, so it came down to who had the best solos Tuesday night. Even though Mollee had some solid routines, I thought her solo was horrible and was sure she would've been in the bottom. Krumper Russell and B-boy Legacy had the best solos, and for a ballroom dancer, Ryan is a really good solo performer. Ballroomers usually are at a disadvantage when it comes to the solos, but Ryan dances with such bravado that he doesn't need a girl on stage with him.

After an amazing routine by the Legion of Extraordinary Dancers, I sat through that atrocious song that Snoop Dogg sang, but only because he was surrounded by former SYTYCDancers (Go Dominic and Hok!) In the end it was Nathan and Noelle who danced their last dance. Noelle did better in her routines than Kathryn, but Kathryn had a better solo. It was a toss-up with Ryan and Nathan who both gave great solos but I think Nathan died a death at the hands of the judges snarky comments toward him from earlier in the season. Thanks Nigel.


"Glee" (FOX, 9:00): There's only one more episode left before the show takes a break to make room for "American Idol" (UGH), and the show pulled out all the punches to get ready for the fall finale.

Mr. Schue's day goes from bad to worse when Emma and Ken announce they are getting married on the same as Sectionals. Then Coach Sue tells him she intentionally had the Glee Club left out of Thunderclap, McKinley High's yearbook, because the photo gets vandalized every year. And to finish off his slow death, Mr. Schue finds wife Terri's fake baby bump, realizing she been lying about being pregnant the whole time.

Schue runs to Principal Friggins to complain and is told that a yearbook photo costs $1,000 for a full page. Mr. Schue opts for a quarter page for $325 but only 2 kids can fit into the frame. None of the Gleeks want to be in the photo so they elect Rachel to by their captain and appear in the picture, which she is more than happy to do. Pause it: How hilarious was it that Rachel joined as many clubs as she could, not to be a well-rounded student, but to practice for being in front of the paparazzi. Black Student Union? ... Who writes this stuff?

Rachel lands the Gleeks a spot in a TV commercial for mattresses and the store thanks them with a shipment of them. Those mattresses came in handy after Mr. Schue storms out on Terri. One Watch Party viewer commented on how violent he became. I agree. I was glad the truth finally came out, but the way he demanded Terri lift her shirt and then snatched off the fake baby bump was kind of scary, which is surprising since the show has such dark humor. I wonder if this will slow down Emma's rush to the altar.

In the end, the Gleeks get in trouble for accepting payment (the mattresses) for their participation in the commercial, making them ineligible to participate in Sectionals. Mr. Schue falls on the sword and agrees not to accompany them since technically he was the one who slept on the one of the mattresses, making him accountable for accepting the payment. They do manage to get their yearbook photo after Quinn blackmails Coach Sue and demands she give one of the cheerleading squad's six pages to the Glee Club.

Rewind the tape: Was Quinn jumping and rolling around on one of the mattresses during the commercial? If she was she may want to rush to the nearest hospital and have that baby checked out.

Funny lines:

• Coach Sue explaining the work she had done on her face for her yearbook photo: "While they were in there I told them to go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. I wasn't using 'em."
• Emma about why she's marrying Ken: "I know he has a lot of flaws ... 74 flaws as of yesterday."
• Rachel to photographer after finding out he's casting for a commercial: "Aside from nudity and the exploitation or animals, I'll do pretty much anything to break into the business."

Featured songs:
"Jump" by Van Halen
"Smile" by Charlie Chaplin (The version song by Rachel and Finn was by Lily Allen)

REALITY CHECK
On "Top Chef" (Bravo, 10:00), the final four chef'testants head to Napa Valley to compete in the penultimate challenge to see who makes it to the last cook off. Padma is sporting a baby bump and a new set of bangs. Micheal wins a new Toyota Prius in the Quickfire Challenge which had the chefs creating a dish using Napa's cash crop: the grape.

For their final challenge, the chefs must cater a crush party for 150 people. Crush is the time of year when the people of Napa crush grapes for the wines. Other than salt and pepper, they can't use anything that's not locally produced, and they must make one vegetarian dish and one protein dish.

Jennifer looked like she had regained some of her confidence during their time away from the kitchen, but apparently the Voltaggio brothers didn't use the time to work on their relationship, as they are still bickering like two little schoolgirls. Pause it: Thank you, Bravo, for subjecting us to their childish banter all season. Thanks a lot!

Bryan, the nice brother, wins the challenge and skates through to the finals. Jennifer is told to pack her knives and go after turning in a dish that wasn't well-thought out. We have an all-male finale again with Bryan, Michael and Kevin competing for the title of Top Chef. I'm rooting for Kevin simply because he cooks food that doesn't look like a rabbit threw it up. TEAM KEVIN!!!