Hump Day Hangover

The networks must have gotten together and decided to do public service announcement episodes on the dos and don'ts of drinking.

Glee (Fox, 9:00): I haven't had a show get me this excited about Wednesdays since the first season of "Lost". "Glee" is "High School Musical" on a steroids/Viagra cocktail. What I love is it's the perfect blend of sex, satire, biting humor and popular music, and the FCC isn't complaining about it, at least not yet. Kristin Chenoweth guest starred as April Rhodes, a former high school classmate of Mr. Schuester's who still has the talent but is clearly missing her sobriety. He persuades her back into the glee club with the promise of helping her clean up her act and graduate from high school.

Mr. Schue tells April she needs to try and fit in with the rest of the glee club after her drunken outbursts leave them cold. The scenes where she was teaching the kids to drink, steal and shower (you naughty girl, you) had my jaw on the floor. Rachel is still nursing her musical wounds from quitting glee. I'll be glad when she stops dry humping the glee club and just gets it on. All this "I'm in/I'm out" teasing is turning me off. Pause it: How many girls out there felt the sting when Rachel found out Finn is about to be a baby daddy? I know it wasn't just me. Did you think the show was a little heavy handed on the drinking drama?

Tonight's episode was light on the humor, but there were a few lines that made me chuckle:
Puck: "Are you all that stupid? Seriously! I bet you thought Bert and Ernie were just roommates."

April, teaching the girls how to steal: "If you can master this, you can sneak anything out of a store between your knees. ... I once got a cake out of a kid's birthday party with the candle still lit."

Germaphobe Emma to a drunken Kurt: "I'm a girl who knows my solvents, and your breath smells like rubbing alcohol."

Featured songs:
Maybe This Time from "Cabaret"
Alone by Heart
Last Name by Carrie Underwood
Somebody to Love by Queen

Real World/Road Rules Challenge - The Ruins (MTV, 10:00): Don't ask me why I still watch this show when I haven't seen an episode of "The Real World" since 2006 (The Real World: Irrelevant!). Walla Walla resident Tonya (RW: Chicago) is easily one of the most unhinged characters in reality TV history. She was already falling down drunk and had at least 4 altercations before we hit the first commercial break. If "Intervention" were still on, I would be ushering her to the nearest detox tank. (Right this way, Ms. McDrunky.) Wes is setting himself up to be the resident hot head and as much as I want to see him get his comeuppance, it's guys like him who last the whole season. Rewind and pause it: Let me get this straight. Cohutta once dated KellyAnne who's now dating Wes who was engaged to Johanna who hooked up with Kenny on the last challenge. I need an STD test just typing that. When was the last time you caught an episode of "The Real World"? (And don't pretend you haven't sat through those marathons.)