One monkey don't stop the show

Sunday was a slow night.

"The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty" (A&E, 10:00): I debated whether or not I should watch this show. I totally turned into one of those rubber-neckers who wanted to see if the train was going off the track. It didn't derail, but the conductor (Jermaine) is clearly falling asleep at the wheel. All the brothers are listed as executive producers, so I can't be sure how "real" this reality show is going to be. Supposedly this show wasn't going to see the light of day, but after Michael died, A&E saw an opportunity to ride the wave of people cashing in. But in all honesty, I was excited to see the show when I heard about it, and that was way before Michael died. Too bad A&E felt the need to milk his death until the teat was dry.

The Jackson 5 is reuniting for their 40th anniversary, but it's been a long time since they've been on stage together. Pause it: Clearly that hyperbaric chamber works though, because they Jermaine and Jackie look frozen in time. It isn't clear if Michael was on board with the idea, but the brothers talked as if he would be joining them. *Cough* Fat chance *Cough*.

Here are a few things I learned about the Jackson brothers:

1. They know their roles. Jermaine is the fame whore, and proud of it. Tito is the hot head (like father, like son). Jackie is the calm one and Marlon is the comedian, although I found Tito to be quite funny.
2. Jermaine and Jackie don't get along that well, and both run and tattle to mommy when they don't get their way.
3. Jackie, Marlon and Tito are still bitter about Jermaine staying with Motown when they jumped labels to CBS. That was like, before I was born ... move on guys.
4. Tito is the only brother to never release a solo album. "I don't want to be a trivia question: Which brother of the Jackson 5 never released a solo album?"
5. Jackie always takes his daughter to business meetings because she's more vocal with her opinions than he is.

Here is a breakdown of what's real and what's not:

Real: Their talent. No one is disputing it, but to see that they still have it after 40 years is amazing. Not real: Jermaine's tribute concert in Vienna. If they do indeed reschedule that show I'll walk on my lips. Real: The miniseries "The Jacksons: An American Dream". Just from their conversations, they confirmed that the movie was factual. And if you haven't seen it already, go out and rent it ... or wait for VH1 to play it. Not real: Jermaine's hair. It looks like he took a bottle of gel and some shoe polish and used it as gel and hair color.

There's only 6 episodes to this series so I'll probably be sticking around for it. Mainly so I can hate on Jermaine. The other guys seem fairly genuine and funny, and in the words of Jackie, "One monkey don't stop the show," so I'm not going to let Jermaine's antics keep me from tuning in.